crazycheese8

"Dear Second Choice, I am very excited about my acceptance to work with {PI} at Second Choice. It's an incredible opportunity, and it aligns perfectly with my research interests! I understand that the response deadline is {date}. However, I still have one outstanding application, and I would greatly appreciate the opportunity to hear back before committing fully. Is there any way for me to receive a short extension on my decision? Thank you, {you}"

"Dear Dream School, I am extremely excited about Dream School and I will definitely attend if accepted, as it is my first choice! However, I have received a formal offer from my second choice program, and they need my response by {date}. While I am very happy that I have received an informal offer from Dream School, is there any way I could be given a formal offer by this date? I feel uncomfortable turning down the other program before receiving an official offer from Dream School, which I would absolutely love to attend. Thank you, {you}"

How are all my other waitlisted peeps hangin in there?

Getting rejected/waitlisted is really difficult. When I got waitlisted at my dream school, I cried for 3 days straight and marathoned romantic comedies on Netflix. I think your boss is probably right, and you should take some time off of work to grieve. I doubt your boss is mad at you, they probably just see that this experience is affecting your performance at work. I'm sure they were rooting for you, and were probably upset when you didn't get in as well. I would send an email thanking your boss for their support, and acknowledging that you need to take a couple of days off to deal with these feelings. I also recommend seeing someone to talk through your experience. Your sense of self is so thoroughly involved in applying to grad school, and the experience of getting rejected can be very shattering. Combine that with the stress of waiting, the numerous stages to the application process, and the introspection of writing the SOP, and getting rejected feels extremely personal. A lot of really amazing people get rejected/waitlisted for grad school. I strongly suggest finding a therapist who will help you work through this experience – if you look through these forums, you'll find plenty of people who sought therapy after applying to grad school. You mention that you don't have a backup plan. It sounds like you have a great job where you are a senior technician, with a very supportive boss who cares about your wellbeing. That sounds like a pretty good backup plan to me! Just because grad school doesn't happen this year doesn't mean it never will. It's tough, but see if you can treat it as a long term goal, rather than "this needs to happen for me immediately". Maybe you need to diversify and apply to more programs next year, the waitlist is an indication that at least one program sees you as being ready for grad school. Maybe there is some element of your application that you can strengthen for next time. For now, just focus on grieving, feeling your feelings, and allowing yourself to be sad. Also, maybe when you feel up to it, you can ask the programs for feedback on why you were not admitted, to strengthen your application for next year? 90% of the time they won't be able to provide individualized feedback, but it's worth a try.

It depends on your relationship with the PI, and whether you know which group you're waitlisted to. If you have a good dialogue with the PI and you know which group you're waitlisted for, I don't see anything wrong with sending a short email reaffirming your interest. I doubt it would have much effect on your chances though. Realistically, pretty much all we can do is sit back and wait... I know it's painful. Edit: I just saw earlier in the thread that you applied to two groups and didn't interview... in that case, I think emailing a PI would be risky, since you don't know which group waitlisted you.

Waitlisted at MIT. Straight out of undergrad, only program I applied to this year. Extremely sad (low chance of anyone declining a spot) but already feeling ready to reapply next cycle.

Ahhhhhhh heck. Waitlisted.

I wonder why they sent out waitlist notifications before everything else?? Furiously refreshing my email now...

OMG brutal

It's fine to not be so careful choosing a boyfriend Be careful about staking something like a graduate school acceptance on any relationship, let alone one that has the potential to end. If you search these forums, even married couples are advised not to sell their acceptances as a definite package deal. It's super risky. I really do hope you have the ability to undo this! Good luck!

It's also worth mentioning that it may be too late to undo this, and it's possible they may have already admitted their second choice. In the future, I would be really careful about making demands like this!

I disagree with the comment above, I think you should DEFINITELY update the professor. Think about what you told them: "I absolutely will only attend this program if this other person gets admitted". That is a pretty strong statement and could really hold back an acceptance for you. Here's what I would write: ____________________________________________ Subject: Update to Application Dear Professor X, Thank you again for a wonderful conversation last month, I am still very excited about the Y program! At the end of our interview, I mentioned that I would only be able to attend Z school if my partner were able to attend as well. Due to some personal changes, this is no longer the case. I wanted to update you with this new information in case it is relevant in any way to the admissions process. Best, nz1996

Starting Game of Thrones tomorrow as a coping mechanism...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

I'm so anxious there's only 10 more days until I hear from my program...... I made myself a countdown calendar today