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Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school


Clou12

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*blank stare* "Oh!  That's nice..."

 

After I tell people what programs I applied to (foreign languages don't get a lot of love, apparently :P ).

Same. 

 

"What is grad school?" -- my boss

 

"I can be your first patient!!" -- everyone, because sadly no one understands that there are many more subfields in psychology other than clinical or counseling. Argh!

 

My boyfriend's mom reportedly pouted all day the day I got into a program (no 'congratulations' from her either but I saw that coming). She is upset with me because I'll be taking her mid-twenties son 4 hours away from home...

 

Plus, pretty much every other quote in this thread regarding getting married, having kids, finding a job, finances, moving away -- this is not other people's business!

Noooooo. At the first one.

I've come across people like that myself, so I guess I shouldn't be too surprised. Usually I just say Masters Degree instead of grad school. 

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I get:

 

False encouragement: Yes mom and dad, I know you think I am some rare commodity but the truth is, there are many people with similar qualifications as me. So no, I am not guaranteed acceptance. 

 

From my friends who don't have any idea what graduate school is, other than it will take even more of my time than school already has been: "So are you going to be single forever and just do schooling? You need to find a husband!"

 

From same friends when I was in the application process: "Come hang out! Fill out your application quick and then after we can go do something!" Me: "LOL" 

 

From my work: "Would you like to pick up 3948572345 more shifts even though you're busy with graduate school stuff?"

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I get

"You shouldn't be worrying about getting rejected, but you SHOULD worry about which school you're going to choose when you get into all four."

Ugh, no. You don't understand D:

 

Exactly. I always want to say: yes I understand that if the admissions committee for every school consisted solely of you and the decision was whether or not you personally like me I would be a shoo-in. Unfortunately that is far from the case

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Oh or by far my personal favorite, from my dad: "That's good, you can specialize and make some extra money."

 

Actually, I'm about to cut my salary into less than a third of what it currently is, and I probably could make a lot more by being a software engineer for the rest of my life. But that's not the point, is it? 

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"If you get into ${school} will you go there?" 

 

I don't know. Thankfully, I have two and a half months to think about that question  :lol:

Seriously, people just need to slow their roll. I keep getting that same question! And by the way, nice syntax :)

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People have not been telling me shit, because I have not told many people I am applying. It is easier for me to stay low profile this year, since I am in another country away from people who can inquire. Others I have told that "I am looking for possibilities to stay at my current institution", which means that I have applied but do not want anyone (including myself) to get their hopes up. :P

Edited by Kleene
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"You're applying for a PhD?  I was thinking about doing that when my kids go to school and I have some free time again.  I'll be needing some new hobbies at that point"  When she found out getting a PhD in two years, part time wouldn't be an option she decided she wasn't actually interested after all.

 

"Well, just because they accepted you doesn't mean you have to go.  It's not too late to stay at your job and get married instead." My mother's reaction after hearing about my first acceptance.  I've given trying to get people to understand the extreme highs and lows that come with applying for a PhD.

When you are married and get accepted the first question is one of the following: "How does [husband] feel?" "What does [Husband] have to say?" "What will [Husband] do?" "What does [Husband] think about this?" "What does [Husband] want you to do?"

Edited by WhatAmIDoingNow
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My list of favourites:
 

"Forensic psychology? That is like CSI, right?"

 

"You want to study sexual offences and offenders.... but WHY??"

 

From my mom:

"You know that guys find very smart girls intimidating, right?"

 

From a classmate who missed the deadline to apply for an honours thesis:

"Thats okay, I don't need a thesis because I just want to go to grad school anyways" ...why does she think I am doing this to myself? I must enjoy extra work

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From a dear friend who is doing a PhD here in Italy but does not have a clue about the US admission process:

 

me: I got an email from SB! I'm in! I had an interview with my POI and it was amazing and I'm so excited. (I really was, SB is in my top 3)

friend: so, when do you have to get back to them with an answer?

me: ... April

friend: ahh so you can wait untill the other places you applied to get back to you. Don't worry, you won't go there.

me: ...

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From a dear friend who is doing a PhD here in Italy but does not have a clue about the US admission process:

me: I got an email from SB! I'm in! I had an interview with my POI and it was amazing and I'm so excited. (I really was, SB is in my top 3)

friend: so, when do you have to get back to them with an answer?

me: ... April

friend: ahh so you can wait untill the other places you applied to get back to you. Don't worry, you won't go there.

me: ...

The response I've gotten from people when I told them I was accepted to Stony Brook have either been:

"...where is that? I've never heard of it."

Or

"Oh my gosh New York City will be so much fun and crazy!"

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"You're leaving your job to do a Master's? Nobody does that."

 

"A PhD won't open up doors for you. Stay in the industry, the job market is not good out there"

 

"You should kiss your romantic life goodbye, otherwise you'd not be a good PhD student"

 

"By the time you graduate, all you've achieved is a fancy degree and no money to buy a frame for it"

 

These are the things people told me AFTER I submitted all my applications. The unreal hypocrisy is that, for the most part, the same people were encouraging me to apply for grad school by noting all its merits.

 

I don't care about any of this honestly. All I wish for is to have a good Prof. to work with, on a topic I like. I'm doing mater's first, and yet undecided on the PhD. Two years is not gonna hurt esp. when you get to learn stuff and specialize.

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This is not so much ill-intentioned or asinine as it is just mis/uninformed.

 

"But how are you going to pay for that? X university is SO expensive!"  Then they think I'm nuts when I explain funding.

 

It really didn't occur to me until I started this whole process that so many people didn't know PhD students usually don't pay but rather get paid.  I thought it was common knowledge.

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When you are married and get accepted the first question is one of the following: "How does [husband] feel?" "What does [Husband] have to say?" "What will [Husband] do?" "What does [Husband] think about this?" "What does [Husband] want you to do?"

I get this question a lot.  "So, does your husband agree to just up and move across the country?"  My reply always is "Well, I don't know about him, but 'I' am moving."  It shuts them up.

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The response I've gotten from people when I told them I was accepted to Stony Brook have either been:

"...where is that? I've never heard of it."

Or

"Oh my gosh New York City will be so much fun and crazy!"

Sigh. Yeah I get those a lot too.

I am actually torn between irritation and amusement

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This is not so much ill-intentioned or asinine as it is just mis/uninformed.

 

"But how are you going to pay for that? X university is SO expensive!"  Then they think I'm nuts when I explain funding.

 

It really didn't occur to me until I started this whole process that so many people didn't know PhD students usually don't pay but rather get paid.  I thought it was common knowledge.

I have to re-explain this a million times to people. Even yesterday my father said, "Won't that state school have cheaper tuition?" I am sick of talking about this.

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Yeah, that is the biggest thing people ask me.  "You mean you won't be working?  How are you going to pay for that?  Are you going to have a bunch of student loans?"

Oh, I'll be working alright, just not in corporate America.

 

What I say is that a Ph.D program is basically like a job, however at the end you have a Ph.D.

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I have a few:

 

"You want to go to grad school for cancer biology?"

"Yes."

"So you're going to be a doctor?"

"Yes."

"But, I thought doctors went to medical school."

"I am going to get a PhD, no an MD."

"Like a medical doctor?"

"No, medical doctors get a doctor of medicine (MD). I will have a doctor of philosophy, Ph.D."

"But I thought you were going to school for cancer biology, not philosophy . . ."

 

Another few favorites:

 

"So you're going to school for cancer biology?"

"Yes."

"Well, yesterday I saw this article on *insert non-scientific, public news source here* and they have a cure for cancer already . . ."

 

"So you're going to school for cancer biology?"

"Yes."

"What are you going to do when you cure cancer? You'll be out of a job!"

 

**sigh**

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