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Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school


Clou12

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I haven't heard that many besides "I'm sure you'll get in everywhere" (sweetheart, I applied to Caltech - no, I will not get in everywhere).

I actually really appreciated my parents' comments. My dad, who has been the graduate coordinator at an elite private university, assured me that I'd would probably get into one of them, but my mom's comment was the best. When I mentioned that I felt weird calling my POI to see whether they had my decisions yet because it might be awkward if they had rejected me, she said "well, if they you rejected you they should be ashamed, so it's their own fault."

Thanks, mom. :P 

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Ex-boyfriend who is a PhD candidate : You won't get into every school that you apply to but you will get in at least SOMEWHERE. Of course you will get somewhere, you are YOU. You are neurotic and personality-A. Now calm down and stop acting like a ragingb*tchface. 

 

Mom : I can not believe you are going for a Masters in that major. You don't need a masters to end up as a door man. You can get a BA in your major for that. Do you want to be homeless one day?!

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My mom told me today, after hearing from my third rejection, that she was going to put the names of these schools on a black list.

"We'll write down all their names and curse at them."

Then, after we talked for a little while longer, she said, "You know, I take that back. At first I wanted them to be on a type of hit list, but now that I think about it, they have to be stupid to reject you. And, someone that stupid needs praying for. So we'll pray for them instead."

I love my mom, but sometimes I wonder if somehow I'm taking this whole process better than she is. . . :)

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I think everyone's gotta have a prof like that! Mine has been urging me to apply ever since I got out of UG three years ago and she tells me my work is good. Puts the wind in my sails every time I see her. It's an inspiration to see someone in my field who has a stable career, is nice and is willing to mentor. Makes me think good things are possible after all, and you don't even have to be play the politics to do it.

My teachers have provided the support that my family doesn't. My mom actually wrote me when I told her about my acceptance and funding that a degree is "certainly good but starting a nice marriage and family life is nothing less significant." As if that is relevant!

Ah I was lucky to have an undergrad advisor like that too. She believes in me so much I just couldn't believe it. She told me to apply since my senior year, and it took me almost a year to make up my mind about it. She absolutely believed that I will get in and I will finish my Ph.D and I will get a job upon graduation, and she already started giving me career advice! When I came and told her all the good news, all super excited and bewildered, she said plainly: "I'm not surprised." That was really one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

 

 

 

"LA? That's like 2 hours from San Francisco. The weather isn't that great."

 

"It's always so hot out there... Like, 100 degrees, year-round."

 

"It's very humid. You'll hate it!"

 I laughed so hard. 2 hours. Humid. Wow.

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Ex-boyfriend who is a PhD candidate : You won't get into every school that you apply to but you will get in at least SOMEWHERE. Of course you will get somewhere, you are YOU. You are neurotic and personality-A. Now calm down and stop acting like a ragingb*tchface. 

 

Mom : I can not believe you are going for a Masters in that major. You don't need a masters to end up as a door man. You can get a BA in your major for that. Do you want to be homeless one day?!

 

Glad to see the "ex-" there.

I'm sorry the people in your life aren't as supportive as they should be. :(

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"What are you doing that for? Academia sucks."  Because the private sector is a highly remunerative blast.  A family friend/lawyer.

 

"Both of youse, all that education was just sh-- down the shorts" From my Grandmother, referring to my sister and me.  

 

"You can't run away from your feelings."  Another Grandma comment. Because studying overseas was purely an escapist fantasy.  Nevermind the hard work to network, keep a 4.0 GPA (equivalent), and do independent research.  Getting away from the stiflingly parochial and homophobic family was a bonus.  

 

Grandma: "What are you doing?" 

Me: "I am still waiting on my PhD application results..."  I applied to Oxford and Cambridge....a gargantuan gamble having only applied to those two, but I have the marks/recs/research to give me a fighting chance.  

"How long will that (the PhD) take?"

"Approximately three years."

"More school?! Sh--, I am going to hang up before I say anything else." Thanks Grandma

 

I should really get around to telling her that I am "queer" (read: bi or gay, depending on my mood) and have a tattoo.   That would really give her something to complain about.  :angry:

Edited by Amelorn
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What do you ever think you will do with that? (said in a very angry tone, like how dare you go on for more schooling!)

 

Also a lot of support, honestly, most people in my circle have been really great about me applying to grad school.

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haha Thanks PhDerp. He was an ex when we talked about this. 

 

It is quite fine but thank you for the support :). 

 

Glad to see the "ex-" there.

I'm sorry the people in your life aren't as supportive as they should be. :(

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My mom told me today, after hearing from my third rejection, that she was going to put the names of these schools on a black list.

"We'll write down all their names and curse at them."

Then, after we talked for a little while longer, she said, "You know, I take that back. At first I wanted them to be on a type of hit list, but now that I think about it, they have to be stupid to reject you. And, someone that stupid needs praying for. So we'll pray for them instead."

I love my mom, but sometimes I wonder if somehow I'm taking this whole process better than she is. . . :)

 

Your Mom sounds like my Mom...

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After being gone 5 hours, my housemate returns, asking if I finished my SOPs.

"I hadn't even started when you left. I'm applying to 15 programs."

"Yeah, so?"

"So that's not enough time to even come up with a generalized final version, let alone modifying it to each school/POIs."

"Oh, that's easy - you just go to your POI's webpage and copy and paste their research interests as your's in your SOP," said my housemate, who is completing an unfunded (money-mill) MA.

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Ex-boyfriend who is a PhD candidate : You won't get into every school that you apply to but you will get in at least SOMEWHERE. Of course you will get somewhere, you are YOU. You are neurotic and personality-A. Now calm down and stop acting like a ragingb*tchface. 

 

Mom : I can not believe you are going for a Masters in that major. You don't need a masters to end up as a door man. You can get a BA in your major for that. Do you want to be homeless one day?!

 

Hilariously, my mom had much the same reaction--we were driving past a homeless man on the curb. She pointed at him, and informed me quite solemnly, in Chinese, "That's going to be you someday." Oh moms...

 

Otherwise, people haven't said too many terrible things to me--probably helps that I'm mostly hanging out with other people applying to grad school!

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My Dad just keeps telling me that if I don't get funding in the UK I can apply to UCSD and ASU, since he'd actually want to visit me if I lived in those places. 

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Ah I was lucky to have an undergrad advisor like that too. She believes in me so much I just couldn't believe it. She told me to apply since my senior year, and it took me almost a year to make up my mind about it. She absolutely believed that I will get in and I will finish my Ph.D and I will get a job upon graduation, and she already started giving me career advice! When I came and told her all the good news, all super excited and bewildered, she said plainly: "I'm not surprised." That was really one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.

 

 

I had two professors that were basically the opposite sides of the coin on this. It was so weird. When I was applying to MFAs, one talked me out of applying to some of the harder schools basically suggesting that I wouldn't get in and should aim more middle of the road. Another asked me why wasn't I applying to Yale and NYU, etc? Unfortunately, I listened to the first one. Now that I'm applying to PhDs though, both are much more supportive and second prof is now on sabbatical in the city where I live and she's like "just wait until you get to do sabbatical! You will love it!" I love that she's taken for granted that I will get in and get my PhD and become a prof like her and be enjoying my sabbatical just like she is. :P

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"So you haven't STILL received any acceptance emails yet?"

"Why didn't you apply for *insert some university* ??? Sally got in with her score, I'm sure you might also if you've applied for it"

"So what is your order of preference?" (I was asked this more than a thousand times)

"How are you gonna survive on your own? Do you know how to cook?"

"Do you know anybody who has applied for the same universities?"

"It's okay even if you don't get into any of them. We'll find a suitable desi guy for you to get married and you can study later." (things Indian parents say as if you've got no other plans)

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Yesterday a friend of a relative said "It's amazing that with all of the things you could choose to do with your major, you would pick THAT!" (After I described my research goals). Thanks....that's not insulting at all!

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Some of my favorites are:

 

"Engineers don't get high degrees..."

 

"So you wanna teach then, cause that's all you can do with a PhD"

 

"Have you seen how cold it is at XYZ University" --- probably because I'm from California

 

"Why don't you just invent something and get rich instead?"

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I swear, if one more person mistakes UPenn for Penn State, I'm going to explode.

 

I'M NOT GOING TO PENN STATE, DAMNIT.

I went to undergrad at Penn, my mom referred to it as Penn State while on campus.

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Some of my favorites are:

 

"Engineers don't get high degrees..."

 

"So you wanna teach then, cause that's all you can do with a PhD"

 

"Have you seen how cold it is at XYZ University" --- probably because I'm from California

 

"Why don't you just invent something and get rich instead?"

Funny, out here we have a few fortune 500 engineering companies and they prefer PhD over BS engineers. They get paid quite well too, of course.
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