Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[PsycD]

"Are you STILL in school???" 

 

"Why would you apply to schools so far away, (enter sarcastic voice) so you can be alone?"  Actually, I'm alone here. If you were a real friend, you'd know that already.

 

"I've accepted that I should just enjoy the grandchildren I already have.  I finally realize that I won't be getting any from you."   No, the fear of passing on any genes from this family is why you won't be getting any grandchildren from me. 

 

"Canada?  What's in Canada?"   Well, let's see...only one of the best schools in the WORLD, in one of the coolest cities in the world.  

 

"You're going to freeze to death." 

[the_sheath]

Ooh, I have a lot more material for this thread!

 

"LA? That's like 2 hours from San Francisco. The weather isn't that great."

 

"It's always so hot out there... Like, 100 degrees, year-round."

 

"It's very humid. You'll hate it!"

 

Why do people in New England have these inaccurate views of Southern California?! It's funny, because they say it with so much conviction, even the people who have never visited the area. And they really won't hear any corrections to this!

 

 

And the one thing I hear the most:

"I could never live without any seasons."

 

I'm a vegetarian, and I hear the phrase "I could never stop eating meat" all the time. I kinda understand, the person is trying to relate to my situation... But really, I don't care. It's kinda the same thing when I mention moving to LA. Wow, you couldn't live there? That's great! No one's asking you to.

I mean this all in the best humor possible. I point this out to my friends when they say it, and I mention they just need to want to visit LA. They're always like, "Oh yeah... I guess it really doesn't matter!" And we laugh. XD

 

 

As long as people don't say:

"You're going to miss seasons."

 

I really don't think I am. I might be wrong, but I applied to schools based on location first, then program... I wanted to end up in SoCal. So I definitely don't expect to miss the weather. Besides, it's temporary. I won't stay in LA unless I really love it! And as a grad student, I expect to have one season year-round: it's called "being indoors". It's a lot like Massachusetts winter.

 

Oh God that THIRD one though. It is literally the least humid place I have ever been in. AND ALL THOSE IMPRESSIONS ARE WRONG.

 

Although, speaking as a native Califronian, I do sometimes wish we had seasons, and snow. I went to Japan for 6 months and I loved when the leaves changed color for Autumn.

 

Also, as someone who has pretty much been living in "stay indoors" season for like 5 months, I wouldn't recommend it. It's TOO BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE. I die a little on the inside just looking out the window knowing I'm stuck in an office. It is SoCal after all.

[iPsych]

I am so glad we all have each other to vent to

[Macavity]

I've heard back from all my schools and we've made a decision about where we'll be going in the fall.  My in-laws STILL don't know that I've applied.  Maybe we can just move 4500km away without telling them? MIL is going to be heartbroken.  It kind of sucks that the announcement I've been looking forward to making for years is going to come as such bad news to some.  

[PhDerp]

"Are you STILL in school???" 

 

"Why would you apply to schools so far away, (enter sarcastic voice) so you can be alone?"  Actually, I'm alone here. If you were a real friend, you'd know that already.

 

"I've accepted that I should just enjoy the grandchildren I already have.  I finally realize that I won't be getting any from you."   No, the fear of passing on any genes from this family is why you won't be getting any grandchildren from me. 

 

"Canada?  What's in Canada?"   Well, let's see...only one of the best schools in the WORLD, in one of the coolest cities in the world.  

 

"You're going to freeze to death." 

Wow I'm sorry to hear some of these. At least you know what to appreciate, and at least you're getting further away from some of these people!

[maelia8]

Conversation with an average German about grad school admission.

(I live in Germany)

 

Me: I got into Berkeley for my history Ph.D.

 

German: (vague smile or blank stare) oh, that's nice, where is that?

 

Me: in Berkeley, right next to San Francisco-

 

German: (interruption) OMG San Francisco that's the most beautiful, amazing city ever! I went there on my West Coast road trip back in my carefree youth when I went to Yosemite and the Grand Canyon and Hollywood and Los Angeles and Death Valley and I thought it was amazing! You are so lucky to be moving there!

 

Me: yeah, I'll be lucky to be going to Berkeley because it's a top-ranked program and they gave me a full fellowship offer for five years.

 

German: Wait, you would normally have to PAY thousands of dollars per year for your degree? That's crazy!

 

Me: that is typical of the American higher education system ...

 

German: that sounds shitty, but at least you'll be in SAN FRANCISCO, the most amazing city on the planet!! Send me postcards/cheap Levi's/a snow globe!

 

Me: …. Sure, I'm on it.

[W.Churchill]

As a hobby, I use my iPhone to take photos of murals and street art in my city and then post them to Instagram. I have gained a fair amount of popularity among the street art community in my area. My parents want me to lead a financially stable life and they are unsure that graduate school will lead to that sort of stability. At one point during the waiting process, they suggested that I pursue a career in street art photography rather than attempt to re-apply to graduate school should I not get into my chosen program.

Here's the thing, I don't own an actual camera. I have no experience with actual cameras. I take photos of graffiti. With my iPhone. It is a phone. Also, don't make money taking photos of graffiti. And actual, real photographer-professional-person-type cameras cost thousands of dollars. I would a) not know how to use that sort of camera, break it the first day I had it. Also there is the small issue of people go to school to be professional photographers. I have never taken a higher institution art class in my life, let alone a photography class. The most recent art class I took was wood shop in the tenth grade. I was unable to make a bird house.

#bestbackupplanever #thankyouparents

[kimmibeans]

Every time I tell somebody I am applying for a PhD, I get

 

Person: "Don't you need a Master's for that?"

Me: "No, not necessarily. I just need research experience."

Person:"How long does it take?"

Me: "4-6 years."

Person: "It takes 4-6 Years? Who's paying for that?"

Me: "The school."

Person: "Oh yeah? What's the catch? There's always a catch. Don't trust them!"

Me: "The catch is I sell my soul to them for 6 years."

 

or I get

 

"You are? That's great! Don't worry, you'll get in everywhere; you're so smart!"

That one really kills me.

[toby42]

Prepare for rant. Initiating in 3... 2... 1...

 

 

 

I find it frustrating and disheartening when people say, "Oh, you'll get in." EsPECially when they, so full of wisdom with their great history of experience in applying to grad schools, declare it as if there's NO way you won't. It chaps my hide even more when you explain to them the rigorous process and how hundreds are vying for the same dozen spots and they STILL flippantly dismiss it as a shoe-in. As if anyone can go just because they're 'smart' or a 'nice guy.'

 

I think what miffs me about this is the fact that they're not recognizing how tough it is and that it is a real privilege and honor to be invited to a top-tier program. Then, if you're accepted, they feel justified in their assessment of the situation - "see, I told you" - and it diminishes your accomplishments and the work you put in to get accepted.

 

I don't even know if this makes a bit of sense, but it's a rant, so it's supposed to be incoherent.

 

So there.

 

/rant.

[iPsych]

Prepare for rant. Initiating in 3... 2... 1...

 

 

 

I find it frustrating and disheartening when people say, "Oh, you'll get in." EsPECially when they, so full of wisdom with their great history of experience in applying to grad schools, declare it as if there's NO way you won't. It chaps my hide even more when you explain to them the rigorous process and how hundreds are vying for the same dozen spots and they STILL flippantly dismiss it as a shoe-in. As if anyone can go just because they're 'smart' or a 'nice guy.'

 

I think what miffs me about this is the fact that they're not recognizing how tough it is and that it is a real privilege and honor to be invited to a top-tier program. Then, if you're accepted, they feel justified in their assessment of the situation - "see, I told you" - and it diminishes your accomplishments and the work you put in to get accepted.

 

I don't even know if this makes a bit of sense, but it's a rant, so it's supposed to be incoherent.

 

So there.

 

/rant.

 

you are so right!! I never thought about it that way but it definitely can make it feel a little less awesome when you get in if someone thought it would be an easy journey all along!

[toby42]

you are so right!! I never thought about it that way but it definitely can make it feel a little less awesome when you get in if someone thought it would be an easy journey all along!

 

yeah... I actually look forward to telling a couple people I didn't get accepted just so they understand that not everyone who wants to gets to.

[JBums1028]

Prepare for rant. Initiating in 3... 2... 1...

 

 

 

I find it frustrating and disheartening when people say, "Oh, you'll get in." EsPECially when they, so full of wisdom with their great history of experience in applying to grad schools, declare it as if there's NO way you won't. It chaps my hide even more when you explain to them the rigorous process and how hundreds are vying for the same dozen spots and they STILL flippantly dismiss it as a shoe-in. As if anyone can go just because they're 'smart' or a 'nice guy.'

 

I think what miffs me about this is the fact that they're not recognizing how tough it is and that it is a real privilege and honor to be invited to a top-tier program. Then, if you're accepted, they feel justified in their assessment of the situation - "see, I told you" - and it diminishes your accomplishments and the work you put in to get accepted.

 

I don't even know if this makes a bit of sense, but it's a rant, so it's supposed to be incoherent.

 

So there.

 

/rant.

 

No it makes sense. I think a lot of people think that since not everyone goes to grad school that it must be easier to get in than undergrad. I don't think they understand that there are less spots available than there are for undergrad programs.

[Munashi]

I've heard back from all my schools and we've made a decision about where we'll be going in the fall.  My in-laws STILL don't know that I've applied.  Maybe we can just move 4500km away without telling them? MIL is going to be heartbroken.  It kind of sucks that the announcement I've been looking forward to making for years is going to come as such bad news to some.  

 

I relate to this.  Haven't told my spouse's family yet.  It's especially awkward, because they don't understand what graduate school is (which isn't their fault - they're older and also from other countries).  When I tried to explain that I was applying, I was met with the "I don't understand, you already have a degree.  You finished school, why are you doing it again?" response. :/

 

Going to be tough to explain why we're moving very far for "more school"...

[PhDerp]

More from my mom...

Long story short, it's a laughable education because I'm getting it in computer science, not something that ends with "engineering". It's much easier and less meaningful to do CS according to her. ._.

Also after describing the different sources of funding for my lab (which includes celebrity charities, apparently), she laughed and said "No wonder [your brother] hates this school." I asked, what? What does he have to do with this? She said she was just teasing. Sooooo this is just a strange passive-aggressive way to say she hates the school?

Blech. I know I'm picky about this, but it's just the way she talks to me... She's not at all supportive. It's really frustrating.

The good news is I have someone in my life who is supportive!! I will focus on funny / silly contributions from now on.

[yuanzhu]

University of Chicago?

 

But why did you pick to go there? Is it good? 

[PhDerp]

"I'm sorry I can't stop talking about this... I'm so excited!"

"Well yeah, you deserve to be excited. I'd be worried if your weren't!"

<3

[the_sheath]

Long story short, it's a laughable education because I'm getting it in computer science, not something that ends with "engineering". It's much easier and less meaningful to do CS according to her. ._.

 

 

What? Has she taken a CS class before? Those things are brutal.

 

I dunno, at my alma mater, CS is a part of the engineering school, and is regarded as one of the more challenging majors. ... Is it considered a type of engineering? Software Engineering? Oh God I feel like I'm one of those people whose quotes end up on this topic.

[PhDerp]

What? Has she taken a CS class before? Those things are brutal.

 

I dunno, at my alma mater, CS is a part of the engineering school, and is regarded as one of the more challenging majors. ... Is it considered a type of engineering? Software Engineering? Oh God I feel like I'm one of those people whose quotes end up on this topic.

She hasn't! She went to a technical school 40 years ago and started studying physics, but switched to a math degree. So she never even was an engineer, not even an engineering student. But she calls herself "an engineer" all the time! I don't get it. It shouldn't matter, but she has this crazy sort of elitist perception about engineers. Like in her mind, there's some categorization for human beings where you are either an "engineer" or "other", and she decided that she was an honorary engineer because she's smart. Or something. Oh, but computer scientists aren't engineers. They're not useful / smart enough. And it's so easy to study computer science. They do neither the math nor the engineering. They just put together other people's work.

 

I dunno. My mom's crazy. Lol XD

 

Thanks for letting me vent about it!!

[omegamarkxii]

Prepare for rant. Initiating in 3... 2... 1...

 

 

 

I find it frustrating and disheartening when people say, "Oh, you'll get in." EsPECially when they, so full of wisdom with their great history of experience in applying to grad schools, declare it as if there's NO way you won't. It chaps my hide even more when you explain to them the rigorous process and how hundreds are vying for the same dozen spots and they STILL flippantly dismiss it as a shoe-in. As if anyone can go just because they're 'smart' or a 'nice guy.'

 

I think what miffs me about this is the fact that they're not recognizing how tough it is and that it is a real privilege and honor to be invited to a top-tier program. Then, if you're accepted, they feel justified in their assessment of the situation - "see, I told you" - and it diminishes your accomplishments and the work you put in to get accepted.

 

I don't even know if this makes a bit of sense, but it's a rant, so it's supposed to be incoherent.

 

So there.

 

/rant.

 

I was about to give this an up vote but I rant out of votes for today >.< 

Yeah that's exactly what I face as well! And yes I'll tell people I got rejected from many just so they know how tough it is to go through the application process!

[elisewin]

"If you get rejected is because something better is coming."

[Macavity]

From a student in my MA program: "So you got into [school A]?  I hear that they have lots of funding."

 

Me: "Yes, much more than [school B]."

 

Student: "That's because school B is good enough that people will go without great funding.  School A has to pay big dollars to convince people to go."

 

I was speechless.  Even if ranking was my only consideration, school A STILL ranks well above school B on every list that I've ever seen.  This person actually thinks that less funding = better school.

[PhDerp]

From a student in my MA program: "So you got into [school A]?  I hear that they have lots of funding."

 

Me: "Yes, much more than [school B]."

 

Student: "That's because school B is good enough that people will go without great funding.  School A has to pay big dollars to convince people to go."

 

I was speechless.  Even if ranking was my only consideration, school A STILL ranks well above school B on every list that I've ever seen.  This person actually thinks that less funding = better school.

 

Even if they feel that way, what a rude / awkward thing to say. >_>

[iPsych]

Even if they feel that way, what a rude / awkward thing to say. >_>

 

AGREED! 

[ICanHazPhdPreez?]

"But that's a state school. Is it even worth going?"

 

Ummmm yes, dad. It's a top 30 school for English programs, and it has an amazing reputation in my field. 

 

Sometimes I just run out of energy justifying my life choices, particularly to the people who are supposed to be supportive. Oooh parents. Ooooh humanities PhD's.

[PsycD]

From a student in my MA program: "So you got into [school A]?  I hear that they have lots of funding."

 

Me: "Yes, much more than [school B]."

 

Student: "That's because school B is good enough that people will go without great funding.  School A has to pay big dollars to convince people to go."

 

I was speechless.  Even if ranking was my only consideration, school A STILL ranks well above school B on every list that I've ever seen.  This person actually thinks that less funding = better school.

 

What a hater. Screw 'em.