Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[ashiepoo72]

Scantronphobia - I'm finishing up an MA at a local university, but really hopeful I get into my top choice PhD program far, far away from here! I'm with you on being a family person--I love my relatives and am very loyal, but even family takes advantage sometimes. I'm glad you don't have to deal with those last minute calls anymore!

[shadowclaw]

Just wanted to jump in here...

I live about an hour and 15 minutes from my school. For my first year, the commute wasn't an issue because I was only on campus 2 or 3 days per week. This year, I accepted a graduate assistantship. It was supposed to be simple... set up and take down materials for labs and proctor exams, then get paid and get free tuition. The pay isn't amazing (a little over $3000 for the semester), but it's a masters program at a state school and I'm lucky to get anything at all. Plus it worked out to almost as much as I made waiting tables part time.

So the reality of things is much different. I was asked if I had a preference for what lab I wanted, and I said anything but A&P. I was assigned A&P. Not only that, but I got to do A&P I and II, and they are the only courses with labs on Mondays. This resulted in having less than 24 hours to tear down the two labs and set the next week's up in time for the instructor meeting. Lab gets out at 9 on Thursday night. I am expected to have the A&P II lab mostly set up by 10 am on Friday, and everything for both labs set up by 2 pm. Every other grad assistant has until late Monday to have their labs set up, and to be honest, they don't have as much to set up as I do.

It's really difficult to get it all done in time, especially since I have such a long drive, but I usually do. Except that my prep notes are outdated, full of typos, and often missing information. So I usually don't have everything out, or have the rooms set up wrong because they've made changes since the prep notes were written. It's usually ok, I just fix the problem, but sometimes I have to miss the meetings, and the lab supervisor leaves me angry notes about how I didn't finish my work. Even when I make sure everything is fixed by Monday, she still sometimes leaves me nasty notes about how I need to get more done on Fridays and try to put some things out in the prep room during the week so up can just carry it into the lab on Friday. Problem is that most of what I need is stored in cabinets in the labs and there are classes in there all day from 9 am to 9 pm. I can't get in there. Aside from that, there is all sorts of stuff "temporarily" stored in my prep room and there's no room for anything.

Aside from my frustrations with lab prep, the graduate program coordinator decided to give us more to do this semester. We have to help teach in 2 labs and provide tutoring a few hours per week. I actually like helping out in lab and I think it really helps the freshman out. However, I was assigned labs on the one weekday I didn't have to be on campus, resulting in me driving to school 5 days a week. That's about 14 hours of driving each week. It also happens to be Thursday. So I spend all day in lab, then another few hours working on taking down the A&P labs until I feel too tired (usually around 11). I get home around 12:30 usually and an in bed by 1, and then get up at 7.

Tutoring isn't a big issue, but we aren't provided with any syllabi or anything, so we're kind of tutoring blindly. I also know it's frustrating when a student comes for help to one of us in a subject we aren't familiar with (e.g. I know little about A&P and Cell bio, as my undergrad education focused on ecology).

So between the hours I put into the work for this grad assistantship and the excessive driving, I feel like I am being stretched very thin. I only have 2 courses and luckily they don't require too much studying, but I feel like I am neglecting my research. I am at the point where I am analyzing data, but I just don't have much time to devote to it, and that's bad. Working on PhD applications isn't helping either.

Nor is my rather unsupportive husband who seems to care more about being fed than my sanity or productivity. I would be much more productive, especially on the weekends, if he would stop pestering me to cook him breakfast and dinner everyday, and stop whining and purposely distracting me when I am trying to do work. He seriously will not make food for himself. He won't even heat up spaghetti-o's in the microwave or chicken fingers in the oven.

These past two weeks, I've been sick and had the period from hell (yes, it's also been going on for almost 2 weeks), and I'm so darn tired. I haven't been to school so far this week (although there was no class on Tuesday), and I've spent most of my time in bed. I felt awful yesterday and took the GRE in the morning, and managed to get basically the same score as last time (verbal went up 1 point, quantitative went down 1). I was really trying to raise my quantitative score into the 80th percentile (it was 60th), but apparently I suck at math on standardized tests. At least my verbal and AW scores are good. I would really like to just lay in bed all day tomorrow, but alas, there are labs to go to.

End of venting.

[Soleil ت]

A venting board! Let's just say grad school is like Hyrule. I've got my bomb bag, and I can carry 20 bombs comfortably. The problem is that I've passed all the easy temples, and now I need a bag with a bigger capacity in order to beat these new ones... but I can't find the vendor. So, I'm just runnin' around, chillin' with Epona, and I'm kind of hoping I bump into a new NPC I've never noticed before who will toss me a 30-slot bomb bag.

 

30-slot bomb bag, where r u thx.

 

I'm in a really weird mood.

[grad_wannabe]

Screw the GRE. Screw the GRE all day long.

 

I could be working on my statement, reading material published by, and reaching out to, potential advisors, working on any of ten fascinating extracurricular projects that I fervently love, catching up on reading material that I think I should reference in my statement, and instead I'm sitting here watching a video on fractions.

 

This freaking blows. 

[Nautiloid]

The PI I rotated under just gave me a pretty abysmal review. Why? I'm too "passive." 

 

I mean, I would have asked more questions if you'd seemed to care at all whether I did or didn't. Instead I tried to gather information from your graduate students who were of absolutely no help, and made asking questions so unpleasant that I chose to avoid it whenever I could. 

 

I've never been so frustrated with a lab. The experience made me seriously question if I was cut out for this kind of work. I've lost all confidence in myself at this point. I'm paranoid, and I feel that if I don't know every little detail by yesterday, I'll be booted from the program. I keep thinking that I should just quit to save them the trouble. Ufffhhhnnnnnngghhh. 

 

Needless to say, the impostor syndrome is hitting me like a brick in the face. 

[spectastic]

The PI I rotated under just gave me a pretty abysmal review. Why? I'm too "passive." 

 

I mean, I would have asked more questions if you'd seemed to care at all whether I did or didn't. Instead I tried to gather information from your graduate students who were of absolutely no help, and made asking questions so unpleasant that I chose to avoid it whenever I could. 

 

I've never been so frustrated with a lab. The experience made me seriously question if I was cut out for this kind of work. I've lost all confidence in myself at this point. I'm paranoid, and I feel that if I don't know every little detail by yesterday, I'll be booted from the program. I keep thinking that I should just quit to save them the trouble. Ufffhhhnnnnnngghhh. 

 

Needless to say, the impostor syndrome is hitting me like a brick in the face. 

my boss thinks I'm too passive because I tried for months trying to get my projects pushed through, and this asshole who manages all the resources wouldn't lift a finger to help me. So now my projects are way behind, and I'm being blamed for it.

[ss2player]

The PI I rotated under just gave me a pretty abysmal review. Why? I'm too "passive." 

 

I mean, I would have asked more questions if you'd seemed to care at all whether I did or didn't. Instead I tried to gather information from your graduate students who were of absolutely no help, and made asking questions so unpleasant that I chose to avoid it whenever I could. 

 

I've never been so frustrated with a lab. The experience made me seriously question if I was cut out for this kind of work. I've lost all confidence in myself at this point. I'm paranoid, and I feel that if I don't know every little detail by yesterday, I'll be booted from the program. I keep thinking that I should just quit to save them the trouble. Ufffhhhnnnnnngghhh. 

 

Needless to say, the impostor syndrome is hitting me like a brick in the face. 

 

I'm sorry to hear all this, but you're a star, don't think anything else! Honestly, that lab sounds like a toxic environment and it's good it was just a rotation and not your thesis lab. Try your best to shrug it off and focus on your upcoming rotations; if anything, now you know what you want and what you ABSOLUTELY don't want out of a lab, so you can find a batter fit in the future.

 

Good luck, keep us updated!

[spectastic]

don't you hate it when you're stuck working on a project with an annoying person who's a complete fucking nimrod? I'm having to reserve 80% of my patience with this guy

 

ok, he's not an idiot.. but maaaan he's annoying as fuck!!

Edited November 4, 2014 by spectastic

[VulpesZerda]

Screw the GRE. Screw the GRE all day long.

I could be working on my statement, reading material published by, and reaching out to, potential advisors, working on any of ten fascinating extracurricular projects that I fervently love, catching up on reading material that I think I should reference in my statement, and instead I'm sitting here watching a video on fractions.

This freaking blows.

Ditto.

[GCool]

How the FUCK are some people who post on here gonna survive in grad school? Can't even search for your own programs - just gotta spew out your stats and ask "WELL?!? CAN I GET IN OR NOT?! ZOMG SO NERVOUS #GRADLYFE". Is it laziness? Do you save your strength for researching things that are lofty enough and "worth your time"? I know that's how R&D people act when they send me stuff to look up, as I'm a mere QC Analyst. What's sad is I know as much as they do when it comes to the formulations.

 

I mean most of y'all are cool, but come on!

[Monochrome Spring]

Trying to figure out the balance between personal life and research life is not easy.

[smg]

I hate you Microsoft Word.  

[VulpesZerda]

I haven't even applied yet and I already can't handle the family conversations I have about grad school. It's nice of people to ask about my plans, but I just can't understand why it's so difficult to explain it all to them. At my extended family party and my SO's extended family dinner this week I found myself saying multiple times that psych major does not equal therapist career - always with a puzzled look to follow. When I say the words "applying to PhD programs" they give this doubting expression. Finally, when I explain that PhD programs often fund and pay their students, that's when they flat out don't believe me. It's honestly easier to tell everyone that I'm going to be a therapist.

[volitans]

I think I feel your pain, VulpesZerda. I'm a first generation college student and not looking forward to Thanksgiving conversation on the topic. Staples from extended family usually include: "What else they got to teach you?" and "Aren't you done learning yet?" Not to mention the usually-not-hidden assumptions that I'm "avoiding working" by being in graduate school (nevermind that I do have a job! but whether my family considers anything I'll ever do to be "work" is another venting).

[smg]

Fax Machines.  

[dr. t]

Fax Machines.  

 

YES. What is this, 1990? As one of my professors says on his contacts page: "Fax: Seriously? Scan it and send via email."

[VulpesZerda]

I think I feel your pain, VulpesZerda. I'm a first generation college student and not looking forward to Thanksgiving conversation on the topic. Staples from extended family usually include: "What else they got to teach you?" and "Aren't you done learning yet?" Not to mention the usually-not-hidden assumptions that I'm "avoiding working" by being in graduate school (nevermind that I do have a job! but whether my family considers anything I'll ever do to be "work" is another venting).

Yeah, I'm the first in my family, too. I hate when people judge like that. Plus, half my SO's family thinks I'm going for psychiatry for some reason. That's what people wish I was doing, apparently!

[spectastic]

go ahead, tell them to startup my unit on night shift without telling me, on the weekend, when we're short staffed, and nobody has a freaking clue what they're doing because they've neglecting this unit for the last 10 years. So now my unit's fucked up, and I'm supposed to fix it. our managers are jackasses.

[iphi]

My roommates are driving me crazy. One "doesn't believe in cleaning" and the other is a huge pig. Everywhere is messy. They are so loud and have friends over all the time either for game night twice a week or crashing on our couch on weekends. They didn't want to turn on the heat when it hit 32 outside because it was "too early" despite the fact they had some poor friend sleeping on our couch!

 

With how stressful school is I can't handle a stressful home life too. In fact, I spent 8 hours at my office yesterday (Saturday) just to avoid going home. Oh, they also didn't lock the front door yesterday after their friends left because they were "too tired". We had 2 armed robberies last night, one on our block and one a few blocks away.

 

I have 8 months left on my lease. What the hell do I do?! I told them already if they had a friend who wanted to move in here they could take over my part of the lease.

Edited November 9, 2014 by iphi

[__________________________]

My roommates are driving me crazy. One "doesn't believe in cleaning" and the other is a huge pig. Everywhere is messy. They are so loud and have friends over all the time either for game night twice a week or crashing on our couch on weekends. They didn't want to turn on the heat when it hit 32 outside because it was "too early" despite the fact they had some poor friend sleeping on our couch!

 

With how stressful school is I can't handle a stressful home life too. In fact, I spent 8 hours at my office yesterday (Saturday) just to avoid going home. Oh, they also didn't lock the front door yesterday after their friends left because they were "too tired". We had 2 armed robberies last night, one on our block and one a few blocks away.

 

I have 8 months left on my lease. What the hell do I do?! I told them already if they had a friend who wanted to move in here they could take over my part of the lease.

Move dude, fuck that. find a new place and sublet your room, there's no reason you should have to deal with that. If I were you I'd be looking for a new place and new roommates. Unless you could afford to live in a studio or something on your own. But I would just be real with them and tell them that you're leaving because you can't stand these living conditions and need to find a subletter, don't beat around the bush and ask if they have a friend -- tell them assertively that you're actively trying to move out and they need to get their shit together. I would complain to the landlord too if necessary, having sloppy irresponsible roommates can screw you over when it comes to the deposit, especially when its some slumlord. For my last place I got screwed because my roommate was filthy, never helped me clean, and was like 4 months behind on rent. Guess who had to take the fall for that?

I think I feel your pain, VulpesZerda. I'm a first generation college student and not looking forward to Thanksgiving conversation on the topic. Staples from extended family usually include: "What else they got to teach you?" and "Aren't you done learning yet?" Not to mention the usually-not-hidden assumptions that I'm "avoiding working" by being in graduate school (nevermind that I do have a job! but whether my family considers anything I'll ever do to be "work" is another venting).

lol yeah my dad wanted me to be a plumber. My mom grew up dirt poor in the deep south and my dad was a jewish immigrant who got out of the iron curtain when he was young. Imagine the long silence on the phone when I told them I was studying Latin and wanted to be a medievalist... ugh... my parents don't know SHIT about grad school and I grew up in a place where higher education isn't valued because most people who got money in my city didn't need a college degree to get there. All the rich folks are illiterate and all the poor kids just wanna hustle to get to that same level and it disgusted me, so I left and went to college far away on scholarships and never moved back. My SO comes from a better off family who does value that kind of thing and her parents are always asking about grad schools and stuff and offering us to meet their professor friends and then we go visit mine for a week and they don't ask either of us about it even once -- like they don't even care that my SO wants to be a lawyer and I'm gonna be more educated than ANYONE in our family has ever been. But they fetishize this whole stupid American notion of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" and getting rich without cracking open a book, on this stupid false hope that one day they can still get rich. Pathetic if you ask me. It's embarrassing, but I know(/hope) I'll be the first of ANY of my family to have an advanced degree and that gives me something to be proud of.

[ashiepoo72]

mollifiedmolloy -- I feel your pain so much right now. My family immigrated to the U.S. in the late 70s--"pulled up by the bootstraps," total salt of the earth, so they just can't understand why I need so much school. My aunt, the first person to get a Bachelor's degree in the fam (so far I'm the second and last...here's to hoping my brothers don't get stuck in community college for life!) is the most supportive, but most of my relatives think my major is useless, graduate school is useless and I should have been a homemaker. It may be the 21st century but tradition dies hard.

 

I keep telling my grandpa that he will have bragging rights when I get the PhD, first doctor in the family and whatnot.

[__________________________]

mollifiedmolloy -- I feel your pain so much right now. My family immigrated to the U.S. in the late 70s--"pulled up by the bootstraps," total salt of the earth, so they just can't understand why I need so much school. My aunt, the first person to get a Bachelor's degree in the fam (so far I'm the second and last...here's to hoping my brothers don't get stuck in community college for life!) is the most supportive, but most of my relatives think my major is useless, graduate school is useless and I should have been a homemaker. It may be the 21st century but tradition dies hard.

 

I keep telling my grandpa that he will have bragging rights when I get the PhD, first doctor in the family and whatnot.

 

Good for you for keeping on with it!  My whole support system for graduate school has been at my college here (and my SO's family, for whom getting a Ph.D. is actually an admirable, not superfluous or "elitist," endeavor), but I think my parents started to be a little less condescending when I framed it more like a "career," telling them that I wasn't going to get my PhD (in literature) unless I was getting funded at a school with good placement rates, making it seem like getting my PhD was more like a job/stepping stone to a real career.  I hate to frame it that way, because to me it's just that I love literature and want to devote as much of my energy to studying it as possible, but it got me some more respect, I think.  *shrug*, I guess there's some things you never figure out -- a very weird power dynamic ensues when you find yourself becoming more educated than your own parents though.  Like on one level they look to you for answers or authority on certain things, but on another it's almost like they resent you.  I'd imagine that it's kind of a slap in the face when your kid goes off to college, hopefully to make more money than you and help you out when you're old and then turns around and studies literature.  Oops.

 

I think for a lot of us, going for a Ph.D. is a mixture of pursuing your passions and a silent rejection of an attitude towards life that is ultimately unsatisfying.  My family has had its share of ups and downs, but on the whole has been much better off than when I was growing up as a kid.  For me, going to college was like striking off on my own to create a life for myself that was different than a lot of the ways of life that disgusted me growing up.  Education is the true freedom, not money.  I only hope that one day education will be more accessible for everyone and that it won't require so much jumping through hoops and fundraising just to get one. 

 

As corporatized and hierarchical as so many people have been saying academia has gotten, I think the value of an education and a love of learning transcends that.  For many, I think, it's a way to get a critical distance from all the bullshit.  Good for you for pursuing an education instead, and I wish you the best of luck!

[VulpesZerda]

I decided to run preliminary analyses for my senior thesis last week because I had almost 90% of my data collected. Beautiful, interesting results. Today I collected the last of it, results vanished. Poof. Things that were showing up p=.03 are all now like p=.12. Really?

[gellert]

Cousineau-Moreying my error bars.

[shadowclaw]

Went onto my undergrad institution's website to look up some contact info for my LOR writers (phone #, official title, etc). There is a "featured story" along the top of the main page, and every month they add a new story about a recent graduate, a rising senior, or incoming freshman that has an interesting story. Basically someone who can make the school look good. The featured story also appears in a side bar in other areas of the website, but in that location a random story is pulled every time the page is loaded.

 

I saw one of my fellow graduates from the biology department in that side bar. I don't recall his major right now, but we had the same advisor and his senior project involved using a plant secondary metabolite as an antibiotic. The project could have been awesome, but it wasn't. It wasn't well designed and he didn't use a single statistical test on his data to see if his results were significant. During presentations, he was asked by a stat professor what test he used to determine that the compound had significantly decreased bacteria levels (he had thrown around the word significant several times). He replied that the line on the graph (which I believe showed bacteria levels over time for each treatment) dipped lower than the other two lines, and thus, the compound was more effective.

 

The featured story gushed about how important antibiotic research is and how the project really prepared him for graduate school (which he didn't apply to because he had a job offer). It really annoys me that they put him on the website when several other students did much better projects (and actually knew how to use the word significant). But I guess being good-looking and doing a project on a hot topic like antibiotics (even if it sucked) makes the school look way better than putting someone on there that actually understands the scientific method but researched something less sexy.