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first generation students


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Honestly, I'm not worried so much about being around rich jet-setting kids. I've spent all four years of undergrad around them and learned to deal with the fact that I have to work 6-10 hours a week to keep food in my stomach and books in my bag. It definitely helps to meet other people that are working their way through just like you. It reminds me that I'm not the only one who actually needs to budget the money I earn to make sure I can cover all of my expenses.

Being in the real world is particularly scary after spending 4 years living on campus (ie rent paid upfront so I never have to worry about that). Should be interesting...

I think "real world" experience, in whatever form, is far more beneficial than, say, internships, study abroad, or any other "cushioned" experience outside of academia. Real world experience, be it working at a terrible job or otherwise, has a harder edge, and requires you to become more serious. We are serious about what we are studying right? Cushioned experiences don't demand much of you, and you can sort of wiggle your way through.

That being said, my current roommate comes from the typical privileged white American family. His parents payed for his college (at a private university) and now he is just for the first time working, paying bills etc. It's almost disgusting how ill-prepared he is for "real" life. I only make a little more than half of what he makes, but because he has no concept of how to save money, he always has to borrow money from me for rent or utilities--his parents are basically starting to refuse to give him anymore money. Meanwhile, after payday, he comes home and says "hey look at this new [insert clothes item here] I bought! Isn't it nice!?" Really...no concept of how things work.

There is merit in the differences we face, and although they may be more prepared academically, we have a different kind of preparation.

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I'm a first generation/low-income student and come from an immigrant family. My mom did her degree in business, but of course, that was about 30 years ago and in another country so its professional value today is lacking. She's a cashier now and has been for some time and the funny thing is that she's content with it. Less stress for her, she tells me. My dad works in the automotive parts industry, but not for the Big 3 or anything. I know he dislikes his job and that the only reason why he continues to work there is so that my siblings and I don't have to in the future.

From the posts I've read, some have shown displeasure and even resentment towards their parents and family for not taking an active role in what they study. Fair enough if they don't support your endeavors, accomplishments, etc. because they should support you. But to spend time, energy and tears on making your parents/family interested in what you study is... silly, especially when there are big disparities between cultures, generations, beliefs. I sometimes fantasize both my parents are professors and that we have lively dinnertime conversations on existential crises and the state of the world politics, but I know after 12 hours of work they'd rather watch a movie or sleep. (And who could blame them?) I use to get very upset and angry at them for not being interested in the things that interested me until I realized that that part of my life is best shared with my friends and professional relationships. It's unfair, but, given the circumstances, you have to deal with it.

I consider myself lucky that my parents didn't have too traditionally Asian values in that they didn't put too much push me towards any specific study or profession. They certainly pushed me to work hard, but in the end their concern is my happiness, as that's what seems to give meaning to their jobs. Which is not to say they weren't a little shocked when I told them I'm going to study philosophy in grad school, as the job prospects are just so wonderful right now!

Cheers.

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Any first generation/low income students out there?

I'm first generation and low income as well. My family is just extraordinarily proud I completed one degree and working on another. Frankly, once I got in my program I knew I'd made a bad decision but since I'm funded and it's only 36 hours, I'm going to finish it (though I'm pursuing law school after, which in hindsight I should've done first. Ah well).

Do you feel like you face extra hurdles?

Yes, in the sense that I have no immediate family to share the experience with. While they empathize, they don't completely understand and I don't blame them. Also, as a MPP Social Policy student, I've struggled with relatability to faculty and some students. I know that my views on certain policy issues is colored by my experience and upbringing, something that others don't always understand. But it is those experiences that drove me to Social Policy in the first place. I also feel like, I'm in a constant state of trial and error academically and since I don't have a model to work from, I am the model.

Mostly, do you feel that it will be difficult for you to connect with other students in your cohort or even with faculty?

It has been difficult, I'm one of a handful of Social Policy students and the courses for social policy from my department number in the low single digits. Essentially, with the exception of two course, all of my social policy courses are in other disciplines. So I have no real cohort to experience grad school with. However, I've taken solace in having an undergrad cohort that is now in grad school as well so it works.

Reading this thread, I found that there are a LOT of variously marginalized people going into public policy, which is fantastic. There was a post somewhere in here from 2009 that echoed my experiences almost exactly, right down to how they ended up deciding on policy. I hope that lived experiences will give me an edge in being more compassionate, open minded, and understanding when it comes to my own policy analysis.

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Just wanna push this thread a little bit.

I am a first generation (both undergrad and soon-to-be-grad), low income, AND international student. Clearly I do not have any physical support from my parents at this stage, but that's okay. I got into a program that I supposed nobody in my family ever heard of, neither. But that's okay too. Because as of now I'm being pretty selfish by going grad school and study what I want without considering going back to my home country at this point of my life.

Do you feel like you face extra hurdles?

Most definitely. Just imagine if you are broke and yet you have to pay at least 3X what the in-state tuition is WITHOUT ANY financial aid. Oh, and also tons of the scholarships that offer out there do not consider non-citizen applicants. Life is tough for sure. If there are any extra hurdles, I wouldn't try to finish off my degree in 3 years (failed because of economical reasons) and in debt that worth at least 1 year of tuition for med school--all just for a bachelor degree. I also took a year off in the middle of my undergraduate studies and another year to go overseas just to take a few classes (that fulfill my degree) and transfer them back to my alma mater in order to get my degree in the cheapest way.

Mostly, do you feel that it will be difficult for you to connect with other students in your cohort or even with faculty?

Not with the faculty members, and may not be some other students that are at my age (or older).

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I wish there were some kind of national convention for First-Gen/Low-Income/Minority graduate students where I can meet you all! That would be sweeeet!

My parents are Jamaican immigrants who definitely come from modest means. My dad never finished high school (nor did he get his GED), and spent years of his life dealing drugs and working odd jobs. After ending up in jail, getting separated from my mom, getting kicked out of his apartment, nearly getting deported, suffering multiple nervous breakdowns, and dealing with multiple health problems, he is now living with his brother and working a minimum-wage job. My mom started college at age 17, right before getting pregnant...4 times. She finally got her BA at a community college when she was 38. Now she's an elementary school teacher, getting master's credits through a teaching fellows program. But needless to say, we all grew up in poverty...roaches, rats, hand-me-downs, cereal for dinner, eviction notices, 6 people in a one-bedroom, the whole nine.

All of my siblings dropped out of college. I am still the only one of them with a bachelor's degree. I'm also the only one in my entire family to pursue a PhD, and the only one to even consider studying math. So i'm definitely the odd ball in the family. Honestly, I never felt too close to my relatives, and I took the first chance I got to move away from home. I still remember how out of place I felt in my first days of college...kids who went on happy family vacations, kids who paid tuition out of pocket, kids who owned laptops and iPods. I remember meeting one girl who had never seen a roach!

But I realized that I only really felt out of place because I was defining myself by what I didn't have, instead of by what I did have. I had ambition, drive, intelligence, goals, an open mind...and those are traits that I had in common with all of my friends in college. So in the end, I had an AMAZING undergrad experience, despite working my way through school and having thousands of dollars of debt now.

Even now, as nervous as I am to go into the unchartered territory that is grad school, I feel comfortable knowing that I have everything I need to get everything I want. Instead of dwelling on the somewhat discouraging messages I've received from professors and staff, i'm deeply encouraged by how far I've come, and by how far others have gone (including everyone on this thread!)

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By the way, I just want to mention that I got rejected from my top choice today, which was obviously very upsetting. But seeing this forum really helped me to put my future back in perspective. I have an offer from a PhD program with a phenomenal outside fellowship which is paying for everything and giving me the opportunity to work for a government agency. All things considered, I really don't have much to complain about!

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Yes first generation student right here. Do I feel disadvantaged? Sometimes. But that is the fuel to my fire. I will not let anyone knock my hustle and neither should you. You got this far, and you have to learn that there are people who share some experiences with you. I would surround yourself around those people. I would just like to say, we do need a national convention for first gener's. Someone needs to get that rolling.

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what a fantastic thread...congrats to everyone who has made it to where they are based on hard work and smarts!

I am the first in my family to attend university. I was also raised by a single parent who worked her butt off. My family, like a lot have said, are supportive, proud, loving and excited for me...but they just don't understand! After 2 years, and at least 10000 times being told, my mom STILL doesn't know what I am doing! God love her! I have to say that I appreciate the fact that she tries to understand and give advice, and she wants to help and be there for me...but it is difficult not having a parent who understands.

I am so close to my mom- being an only child from a single parent household- she knows everything about me and we share everything with eachother...and so it's difficult when I have a bad day or meeting and I want to talk to her, and she just doesn't 'get it'...you know? But I appreciate and love that she still wants to hear everything, and know what's going on!

I also think it makes us appreciate life and where we are so much more. I work for someone who can from a wealthy family...and he just doesn't get it...if I win a $300 conference award...I am psyched! It's like I won the lotto! And it's also hard because he doesn't understand that I need to work outside of my degree. Sure I might get a stipend, but after tuition is taken off, I can't support myself on $650 a month! I need extra work...so it's also difficult in the way that I have to get him to understand my financial situation- I just can't go to my parents and say I need $xxxx.xx for rent or food!

Good on us!

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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to everybody. You've taken a first step into a larger world and should be proud of yourselves.

I'm first-generation but I'm not low-income. My parents managed to have a LOAD of luck in their lives (we're Croatian and moved to Dubai back in the 80s) without going on to higher education but as nobody's gone ahead through grad school and I'm also international there is a LOT of "figure it out on your own" I get to deal with. As my brother's struggling with his academics sometimes I feel like I get to parent him on that end too.

Edited by Galahad
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  • 4 months later...

Hey all,

I am just revisiting the cafe and this thread from my last posts here in 2010! Glad to still see people contributing. Since my last post (how nostalgic) I am now completing the last semester of my MA and working on applying on PhD programs. Also, since then, I have experienced a shift in my interests too. I'd like to think that this is because I have grown some from the beginning of my academic career.

I was that girl that couldn't go on class trips and was stuck in summer jobs all vacation because I had to contribute to the family income. In addition, I only learned what books and resources were appropriate to study for the SATs way back in high school because my parents and I cleaned the homes of the wealithier kids in school. So, I took a peek at there book cases. LOL I've come a long way since then.

Do I feel disadvangtaged? Sort of. To be clear, my cohort members have come from "better" class backgrounds than myself...so they are in possession of certain social and cultural capital that I am not. But I'd also like to think that I am a very fortunate and resilient human being as result of how I grew up.

Edited by iampheng
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  • 6 months later...

I just read through basically this entire thread, and without really wanting to discuss my own situation, wanted to bump it & make sure people saw it if they wanted to take some solace in the fact that they aren't alone.

 

Thanks to everyone who posted; this cheered me up after a struggle over whether to disclose class background with a potential program. 

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This is a great thread, and I'm glad to hear the stories of everyone else on here.

 

I have a weird class and family background, I guess. During my childhood, my family was definitely not poor. My father had a nice little paint and wallpaper store that did quite well for a while. He treated his customers well, and they were loyal, meaning that my family, though not rich, had a good upper middle class existence. My father had a store as did his father before him, and I think my grandfather as well. My mother's side was poorer: she grew up in the projects (Irish Catholic near Boston in the 1950s) after her father, my grandfather, passed when she was a little girl. My father dropped out of high school to work at his father's store and then open his own; my mother dropped out to work in the factory to help support her family, my three aunts on her side and my grandmother.

 

My father was more oriented toward business, in the sense of thinking it was a good idea to try to start my own; my mother was always the one who really pushed me to complete college and get the degree she never had the chance to get. In a bit of class irony, the factory in which my mother worked was in something of a valley between two hills. On the top of one of the hills was a prestigious liberal arts college, the kind of school that the factory owners' kids would go to. She really thought that college would open doors for me (and it did: now I'm accepted into an exciting grad program) and both she and my father pushed me (she because she believed in it, my father because of my mother).

 

Unfortunately, given that none of my family had gone to college, none of us realized how exceedingly awful my high school was. At one point, we had enough money to send me to a private Catholic high school, but we were told that the local school system was "just fine." My father didn't want me to go to a private school and take on an upper-class, holier-than-thou attitude, I think, as well. Consequently, I went to public high school in my hometown, then a declining mill town. I did really well there, was ranked 17th in my class, and was even part of the National Honor Society. We had no idea of which colleges were better or worse, so I applied to three local ones and got into all of them. I had no idea how little my high school taught me until I started college: everyone was so far ahead of me in terms of reading and understanding material that I was completely left in the dust. This was quite a change from high school, where I had been at the top. No one understood why I did so poorly when I first started college because we all assumed I had an educational foundation equal to everyone else's. My mother demanded I try harder, and I wondered why that wasn't working. None of us realized that I could have gone to the writing center or something of that sort for help! I eventually realized that the wealthy suburbanites surrounding me had a better education; this became all the clearer when I found that my city was mentioned in the then-just-published book Savage Inequalities by J. Kozol.

 

My family became poorer by the time I started my undergraduate education as well, as the city's economy went sour - and Home Depot moved into a nearby suburb. My father lost his business after running it for a quarter of a century. My mother, who had started working as a teaching assistant - at first out of boredom, and then to help make ends meet - also lost her job due to budget cuts - and then passed away after a brief illness during my first year of undergrad. This caused havoc with my schooling, of course.

 

After more than a decade, I came back and finished my BA in political science, and now I've been accepted with funding into a graduate program. The program is actually at a university I toured with my mother and father during my search for an undergraduate institution, when we were desperately trying to figure out the differences between schools.

 

Being first in your family to attend college is a bit of a handicap, as there is no parent who has any idea of what doing a PhD means, nor do any of my hometown friends. (On funding: What do you mean they pay you to go to school? It's a trick!) But if you've gotten through your undergraduate years and you're accepted, you've got what it takes to complete the program. Probably, you're more likely to have the tenacity to complete, given that you've likely had to overcome a number of hurdles to get to the program. I think being from the working classes instills a certain set of values that are helpful in education. For example, the work ethic: I started working when I was maybe 11 years old - first a paper route, then at my father's store, and then, as soon as it was legal, a job at a supermarket, etc. - and now feel guilty when I'm not working or getting things done. That value really helps to get assignments done. A professor of mine at the college where I recently received my BA remarked on this. She just came here (I'm using the school's library right now) from an expensive private institution. According to her, the students there were rich and lazy. She was surprised to hear professors here talk about how much they "loved" their students, but said she came to do the same here, because the students, many of whom are poorer, realize that they/we actually have to work to get through undergrad.

 

Also, I'm looking forward to TAing. Aside from getting my PhD, I really hope there is at least one student that I can recognize as struggling in the same way I did during my early undergrad years and offer them some helpful assistance.

 

I'm sure this story is boring to everyone who isn't me, so if you've come to this point, thanks for reading, and I'll look forward to hearing yours.

Edited by progress518
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I love this thread, too.  I have definitely felt out of place and out of sync at times. Not only was I not the traditional age, but I was not from a family who understood basic university jargon. Everything from financial aid terms to understanding what it meant that my mentor was under review for tenure when was in his lab... made me feel like Eliza Doolittle.  Now I work in the medical scene and at times the education and travel experiences of the people have truly developed them more differently than they realize.  Many times the wealthier kids would be exposed to their parents colleagues and enfolded into their parents social and work scene.  Those opportunities didn't really exist for me during my upbringing and certainly not during the years I was at home with my children.  However, genuine people are everywhere and it's easy to spot them. My new advisor tried to help me feel comfortable saying he was also from a working class family, but then neglected to explain to me the difference between a fellowship and an assistantship - and I didn't want to seem dumb, so I didn't ask him. Thankfully -- we have google and each other here! 

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I have only read the comment above mine, but my hat goes off to you guys.  When you come from a grad/prof. school oriented home/family/peer group, there are so many "perks" that you take for granted.  First and foremost is the support.  I've only had encouragement.  I honestly don't know where I'd be without that.  It definitely would've been a tougher road to hoe.  I also never realized how daunting navigating college/grad school apps/aid forms etc. can be when you're the first to go through the process.  With that said, bravo for having that extra "grit" to get the job done.  Plus, what you're doing will make the road so much smoother for your kids/nieces/nephews etc.  They'll thank you, I'm sure. 

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I'm sorry to say, but some of these posts just seem to be a bit naggy and full of self-pity.

 

I, too, am a first generation/low income student. My parents came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few pesos. I would never dare say that I am at a disadvantage. Why? I feel like that would undermine everything my parents have sacrificed for me. I carry this "weight" with nothing but great pride and decorum, and I could never say that I've faced any hurdles simply because of who I am. I am the master of my life, I pick and choose what situation I put myself in, and I have several faculties and skills that my "privileged" peers will never obtain.

 

Sorry for the angsty post, but I get a bit upset when people think that because I am a minority, I have to had gone through some major trials and tribulations. Even if I had, I feel very fortunate to have lived the life that I have and I refuse to accept anyones tawdry compliments and words of encouragement.

Edited by MrOtrebla
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I'm sorry to say, but some of these posts just seem to be a bit naggy and full of self-pity.

 

I, too, am a first generation/low income student. My parents came to this country with nothing but the clothes on their backs and a few pesos. I would never dare say that I am at a disadvantage. Why? I feel like that would undermine everything my parents have sacrificed for me. I carry this "weight" with nothing but great pride and decorum, and I could never say that I've faced any hurdles simply because of who I am. I am the master of my life, I pick and choose what situation I put myself in, and I have several faculties and skills that my "privileged" peers will never obtain.

 

Sorry for the angsty post, but I get a bit upset when people think that because I am a minority, I have to had gone through some major trials and tribulations. Even if I had, I feel very fortunate to have lived the life that I have and I refuse to accept anyones tawdry compliments and words of encouragement.

 

I also come from an immigrant background (though not necessarily poor). My being a second-generation immigrant (who lived abroad for a number of years) definitely caused disadvantages, and it's clear to me that other people had similar experiences. I had a prejudiced guidance counselor in high school who told me I should try vocational school instead of aiming for university because she thought that Spanish-speaking=stupid. I didn't know about the SAT... the first time I took it I'd only been in the country for a year and no one told me what it was for. I had to educate myself (and this was before the internet!). My parents were not college educated and didn't know the system. I am a lot of "firsts" in my family... and my siblings are now following in my footsteps.  

 

I don't say this out of self-pity... on the contrary, I say this because I can look back at that f***ing @#$% and think... I proved her wrong. I am VERY proud of my heritage, and of what I've been able to accomplish despite people occasionally trying to get in my way. I look at my background as an asset, not an obstacle... just like you do. I was also lucky to have people who did believe in me (parents, teachers, professors, employers). My parents worked really, really hard to provide for us, and my mother was (and still is) very supportive of me through everything I've accomplished.

 

Other people aren't so lucky. There's nothing wrong with acknowledging that the system is set up for people who fit a particular mold, and that people who don't fit that mold have to overcome more obstacles than people who do. While I definitely understand what you're saying and also get upset when people make certain assumptions about me, I think that it's a little mean-spirited to go after other people who are simply sharing their experiences in dealing with a system that wasn't ready for their particular brand of awesomeness.

 

 

Perhaps if you stopped judging and started reading with an open mind, you'd see that you have more in common than you think with a lot of the people who posted before you. These experiences are not simply those of "minorities." They are the experiences of people who've had to work a little (a lot?) harder to fit into the mold. That's all.

Edited by CageFree
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First of all, CONGRATULATIONS to everybody. You've taken a first step into a larger world and should be proud of yourselves.

I'm first-generation but I'm not low-income. My parents managed to have a LOAD of luck in their lives (we're Croatian and moved to Dubai back in the 80s) without going on to higher education but as nobody's gone ahead through grad school and I'm also international there is a LOT of "figure it out on your own" I get to deal with. As my brother's struggling with his academics sometimes I feel like I get to parent him on that end too.

 

Sounds like we're in somewhat similar situations (except I am US born). I spent my childhood abroad and returned to the US while in high school... and in many ways the system was foreign to me. Still is. I didn't even know about Ph.D.s being funded until about two years ago (when my now husband kindly informed me as he was considering pursuing one)... I had given up on the idea of grad school because I thought it'd be impossible for me to take out the necessary loans. 

 

My parents also were able to do relatively well financially despite not having much education. My siblings are considerably younger and I feel like it falls to me to "show them the way." They are all looking at going to graduate school as well so in addition to doing my own work, I give them the advice I wish someone had been able to give me, look at their papers, discuss research topics... and what's really cool is that education in many ways has helped us bridge the age gap. :)

Edited by CageFree
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I wasn't *quite* first generation. My mom worked for her business associates, and my father just received an online bachelor's degree (with a bankruptcy right before my undergrad, so yes low income). But I was the first to achieve an on campus bachelors and the first accepted into higher degrees within the immediate, and I think, extended family (minus my cousin's wife). 

 

So, for me, my family is thrilled by the idea. But I've had little to no input or assistance from them other than waved pom poms. Sometimes it's a bit frustrating, but I'm glad it forced my hand to network and learn from others even more.

 

I worked part-time jobs in my undergraduate to afford anything I needed, and then worked part-time in my field near the end of my undergraduate, and then FT in my field directly after that. So, while realize I was a bit further down the lane than several of my other friends returning to graduate school,  there's no shame or guilt in it. I needed to work myself up to a point where I could afford the applications (and my independence) and be able trust in my own skill set to get there. And I'm proud of that process.

Edited by psychkita
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I'm so psyched that people have been posting here.  :)  My bumping was not in vain!

 

Just thought I'd drop a line here saying I'm attending Columbia next year—any working-class or poverty-class folks who are also there, send me a PM, would love to chat.

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  • 3 years later...
On 4/15/2006 at 7:03 AM, Guest guest47 said:

Any first generation/low income students out there? Do you feel like you face extra hurdles? You can't get advice from your parents about college let alone grad school. Perhaps lower professional networking skills....? Mostly, do you feel that it will be difficult for you to connect with other students in your cohort or even with factulty? I'm a little bit worried about this. Any thoughts?

 

Also, congrats on overcoming the odds! :D I'm confident that everything will be fine, but I wonder if any issues will come up because my background is different from that of most grad students.

I am bumping this dormant thread so that active members can share their experiences.

Over the last couple of seasons, it has become a practice to post in a thread without reading earlier posts.

I respectfully request that respondents avoid that trend and give this thread a patient read before sharing your experiences and POV.

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Thanks for bumping this! I'd really like to hear about current students experiences with this!

Little about me. Technically a not a first generation college student (both parents are college drop outs) but I am the first person in my family to get my BA/BS and without a doubt the first person in my entire family line to go get a MA/PhD. I also am doing this without any type of financial support from my family. I was SO lucky that I had a great aunt who apparently saw my ambition and left me a sum of money for me to use for college (of course, this was all used to pay for my undergrad tuition for 5 years) but I am coming in blind on what to expect financially for my PhD (I will have a GA throughout my time in school, thank god!). I have had friends who are what I would call your standard "poor college student" who have gone on to get PhD's and struggled immensely with getting through it without stressing about money while the other in their cohorts (all whose parents have PhD's/oodles of money) live without worrying about the cost of living. I would love advice on how others in my situation balance their budgets but still get to do things with other students in their cohort!

Also anyone who shares the same experiences, feel free to connect with me! I have to say I am pretty nervous but I am excited about this new adventure!
 

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@ellieotter Quite simply, if a program isn't paying you enough to live on, don't go there. This is what all students do, not just low-income students. It is absolutely the norm to have one of the three: 1) a research assistantship, 2) a teaching assistantship, or 3) a fellowship. Any one of these three will give you a tuition/fee remission (meaning you wouldn't have to pay your tuition or fees), plus a monthly stipend to live on. You should not consider any school that does not offer you one of these. The only exception is with professional programs like law school or med school, for which students often are expected to pay out-of-pocket.

As far as cutting living expenses, many schools have a pantry of sorts to help low-income students. The school where I did my master's has one, and the school I've been accepted to for my PhD (still waiting on funding though) also has one. Basically, it allows you to get a certain amount of free food and personal care products. It wouldn't substitute for grocery shopping, but you could get a substantial amount of things, like pasta and toilet paper, completely free. Personally, I've always loved taking part in student leadership activities, and interestingly enough, that gets me more free food than I would have imagined. Student recruitment events, workshops, committees...often came with meals. I don't recommend doing any of these just for a food, but if you're interested in the activities, free food can often be a perk.

Oh, and garage sales! Take advantage of those!

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OMG. I love this thread.

I am the first one in my nuclear family who will have a university degree. I've often felt throughout university that I was "late" in my knowledge in comparision to my peers who had parents who had attended university. I often felt like an imposteur too. I also come from a low income background (my mother is a single mom, stay-at-home mother, and I have four younger siblings, my father is still around but has two jobs to pay the bills.) My parents are both immigrants. 

Edited by Adelaide9216
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