Child free

[microarray]

Are there any other child free humans on here? I am almost 30 and I often feel that I am one of the few that has no desire to have kids, ever. I am child free by choice.

 

I found out yesterday that I can get female sterilization for free through my insurance that I will get through grad school. I am planning to get tubal ligation as soon as I can so I can get off hormonal birth control and not have to worry about getting pregnant ever again.

 

I am not looking forward to the day where people assume that I have kids and ask 'how many kids do you have?'.

 

Anyone else child free? What have your experiences been thus far?

 

 

[LMac]

I'll chime in. I'm 36 with no plans for children. I love my nieces and nephews and my friend's children, but just don't desire any of my own. I'm on my second IUD, and that helps me avoid hormonal birth control.  I've had many people ask if I have kids, but never anyone that jumped straight to asking how many I have. I find that most faculty in academia are very accepting of this, and it's largely been a non-issue for me. My classmates have never brought this up (probably because they're mostly 23 years old and haven't thought of it yet), but I don't feel like people expect it of me, which I appreciate. Glad to know there are more of us out there

[Taeyers]

I'm 25, fiance is 26, and we are very decided on staying child-free, but people don't take that very seriously at our age... Still, definitely not gonna change. It was my criterion for getting serious with someone in the first place, since I'm the least maternal person ever. 

 

Unlike you though, I love what my hormonal BC does for me, and since its success rate is about the same as tubal ligation, I don't think I'll be switching any time soon. I know I'm lucky though, a lot of women struggle with the hormones. 

 

The most awkward part for me is that the almost-in-laws don't know, and they're not very direct. It might be a looooong time until it gets brought up, and then there'll probably be lots of disappointment :/

[LittleDarlings]

I'm 23 and child free, obviously in my past posts you know how desperately I want children but recently I am finally being kind of content with where I am. I am 23 and getting an education and I know I will have the happy little family eventually. I just saw a Time magazine article about women my age getting their eggs frozen so they can implant them later in life (which seems like a good idea but say I got my eggs taken out now who is to say they will make it 10 years?) I guess a lot of super career women are doing it. I personally am going into a field where I think that it's possible to have a good work/family balance but hey you never know I guess.

I am kind of youngish in this post and you probably wanted people closer to your age to talk about being childless but I'm 23 and childless too:) which where I live right now is kind of rarish.

[Vene]

26 here and married. I've luckily been able to avoid this question so far, but I think it helps that I'm male and not as directly pressured to have kids.

[DeafAudi]

I literally just posted this on my Facebook page: 

[the_sheath]

No kids, but I'm 22. I'M JUST A BOY

[PsycD]

Child free and always will be. I can think of about 500 things I'd rather do than have children. Honestly, I'm just too selfish and love my freedom way too much. Wouldn't trade my life for ANYTHING!

The majority of the people who nag me about having children are married and miserable, secretly wishing they could trade places with us single and/or childless people. And it gets much, much worse as you get older. Sometimes I feel like I'm being recruited for some kind of cult.

Childless and Proud!!!

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I'm 23 and child free, obviously in my past posts you know how desperately I want children but recently I am finally being kind of content with where I am. I am 23 and getting an education and I know I will have the happy little family eventually. I just saw a Time magazine article about women my age getting their eggs frozen so they can implant them later in life (which seems like a good idea but say I got my eggs taken out now who is to say they will make it 10 years?) I guess a lot of super career women are doing it. I personally am going into a field where I think that it's possible to have a good work/family balance but hey you never know I guess.

I am kind of youngish in this post and you probably wanted people closer to your age to talk about being childless but I'm 23 and childless too:) which where I live right now is kind of rarish.

I think the point of this thread was by choice, not circumstance. You make status updates about picking out future baby names on your lunch break. 

[Pitangus]

I'm only 24 right now, but I do not intend to have children. It is not something I have ever desired and not something I think I am particularly well-suited for.

 

Right now it isn't an issue because I am in grad school and I'm not married. My SO and I are planning to get married when I finish my program, at which point I will be 27+, so I am expecting that the questions about children will start to ramp up at that point.

Even my mother, who knows my personality quite well, occasionally says things that suggest a belief that I will want children as the "next step" after getting married and establishing a career. Honestly though, I am looking forward to dedicating my time to my career and my marriage, and I don't believe in having children just because it is the "next step."

 

Like Taeyers, I enjoy the other benefits of hormonal BC and plan to stay on it for now, though tubal ligation is something I would consider in the future if I knew I could pursue it without being hassled for not having children already. 

[ss2player]

HELL YEAH. One of my side projects will be how to safely sterilize myself.

But actually I'm just waiting for Vasagel to get approved. If that takes too long I may plan a trip to India for RISUG.

[pears]

I'm 23, & I'm not sure whether I want to have kids. I've given some thought to the possibility of being a foster parent (with a partner/spouse) in lieu of adopting or having kids. There's also a possibility that a serious illness I had 4 years ago & its treatments have left me unable to have children, &, even if I can, I'd almost certainly have to get a C-section, which I am not super down with. My "10 year hopes/plan" is very much centered around me, where I'd like to live, the possibility of pursuing a PhD, etc.; I don't even see parenthood as being remotely feasible until I'm in my early or mid-30s.

 

For those who have definitely decided they never want children: was there something in particular that helped you reach this conclusion? What was your thought process? ("I just don't want kids" is a totally valid answer here, of course)

[LittleDarlings]

I think the point of this thread was by choice, not circumstance. You make status updates about picking out future baby names on your lunch break.

You always find a way to shit on something huh? If I wanted to be pregnant right now I could be. It isn't hard to find someone to do that. I still pick out baby names, and will continue to until I have a baby. Actually you're going to love this I started talking to this really amazing guy and we were talking about babies... I didn't bring it up he did. The OP didn't say "only people who don't have children by choice answer" so suck it:)

Oh and btw I actually pick out baby names during work not on my lunch break:)

Edited April 18, 2014 by LittleDarlings

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

You always find a way to shit on something huh? If I wanted to be pregnant right now I could be. It isn't hard to find someone to do that. I still pick out baby names, and will continue to until I have a baby. Actually you're going to love this I started talking to this really amazing guy and we were talking about babies... I didn't bring it up he did. The OP didn't say "only people who don't have children by choice answer" so suck it:)

Oh and btw I actually pick out baby names during work not on my lunch break:)

The topic might not be called "who here doesn't have a baby?" but it's implied that it's a thread about people who don't want to have a baby. 90% of people on GradCafe probably don't have a baby, but that doesn't mean they never will. 

[spellbanisher]

 Actually you're going to love this I started talking to this really amazing guy and we were talking about babies... I didn't bring it up he did.

A guy who just brings up babies with someone he barely knows is obviously cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

A guy who just brings up babies with someone he barely knows is obviously cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

And a girl who picks out baby names during work hours is his perfect match. 

[spellbanisher]

90% of people on GradCafe probably don't have a baby, but that doesn't mean they never will. 

Well, they better start having babies, especially those in the sciences, because the anti-science crowd reproduces like jack rabbits.

[RunnerGrad]

I'm 42, my husband is 49. I have endometriosis, so it is unlikely I could have ever conceived naturally (my endometriosis is severe), even had I wanted children, which I never have. Fortunately, my husband and I agreed on the "no children" thing right from the start. We have three cats, and those are our babies. We are fortunate that we both have sisters who had children to satisfy our parents' desires for grandchildren.

I've never wanted children, and never felt my biological clock ticking. I never enjoyed babysitting as a teenager. I don't enjoy being around children and never wanted a child of my own. Even when I was a child, I preferred to 'hang out' with adults.

My husband and I are child-free by choice. It is the right choice for us, and fortunately, now that I am in my 40s, people have stopped asking when we're going to 'start a family.' It's the right choice for us, and I'm very happy with our choice.

[LittleDarlings]

The topic might not be called "who here doesn't have a baby?" but it's implied that it's a thread about people who don't want to have a baby. 90% of people on GradCafe probably don't have a baby, but that doesn't mean they never will.

There are also posts from people who aren't sure how they feel. Does it really matter? I mean I am child free right now. I don't know that I will have children. Can you cut me a break for once? There was nothing wrong with my post. Can we please not do this? I mean honestly I was fairly proud of myself for what I said its small improvements.

[LittleDarlings]

A guy who just brings up babies with someone he barely knows is obviously cuckoo for cocoa puffs.

It was jokingly but very adorable. I don't see what's the big deal with picking out baby names (I mean me doing this not he and I, that would be weird) I have been planning my children's names since I was 5. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. Some people don't want that and they are entitled to that.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

It was jokingly but very adorable. I don't see what's the big deal with picking out baby names (I mean me doing this not he and I, that would be weird) I have been planning my children's names since I was 5. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. Some people don't want that and they are entitled to that.

From the girl who just said, "I don't know that I will have children." 

[RunnerGrad]

It was jokingly but very adorable. I don't see what's the big deal with picking out baby names (I mean me doing this not he and I, that would be weird) I have been planning my children's names since I was 5. I have ALWAYS wanted to be a mom. Some people don't want that and they are entitled to that.

If you've always wanted to be a mom, why are you posting on a child-free thread? I've never wanted to be a mon, and never will. If I ever had a biological clock, it has never started ticking. I'm hopelessly in love with my husband, and ridiculously happy with our life, but we don't want children, and never have.

I don't need to reproduce. No desire to do so. There are already too many human beings populating this planet. I have no need to stroke my ego through reproduction.

[LittleDarlings]

From the girl who just said, "I don't know that I will have children."

I don't know that I will, I mean Godforbid I could find out I'm infertile. I could just never get around to it (I really want a family not just a child)... I don't know life's circumstances. I do pick out baby names though, and hopefully I get to be a mom. I don't know what you want from me? What do you want me to say? That I don't think about babies or baby names? I mean why do you constantly feel the need to come for me? Does it bother you that much?

[LittleDarlings]

If you've always wanted to be a mom, why are you posting on a child-free thread? I've never wanted to be a mon, and never will. If I ever had a biological clock, it has never started ticking. I'm hopelessly in love with my husband, and ridiculously happy with our life, but we don't want children, and never have.

I don't need to reproduce. No desire to do so. There are already too many human beings populating this planet. I have no need to stroke my ego through reproduction.

She asked if anyone is childless, I am. I posted for that reason, does it really matter?

[Pitangus]

I'm 42, my husband is 49. I have endometriosis, so it is unlikely I could have ever conceived naturally (my endometriosis is severe), even had I wanted children, which I never have. Fortunately, my husband and I agreed on the "no children" thing right from the start. We have three cats, and those are our babies. We are fortunate that we both have sisters who had children to satisfy our parents' desires for grandchildren.

I've never wanted children, and never felt my biological clock ticking. I never enjoyed babysitting as a teenager. I don't enjoy being around children and never wanted a child of my own. Even when I was a child, I preferred to 'hang out' with adults.

My husband and I are child-free by choice. It is the right choice for us, and fortunately, now that I am in my 40s, people have stopped asking when we're going to 'start a family.' It's the right choice for us, and I'm very happy with our choice.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience. I am always interested in hearing from couples older than my SO and me, who have maintained a childfree lifestyle. 

Your situation sounds similar to mine, with the exception that I do not have any known medical complications that would affect my physical ability to have children.

 

Also, it's funny that you mention your sisters; I'll admit that I am holding out hope that my younger brother will have kids, so that my mom can still be a grandmother.