WINE, WAIT, AND WHINE THREAD

[hippyscientist]

4 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I leave this coming Wednesday to go to Ithaca and sign for an apartment... 

The very thought makes me nauseous. 

This is so exciting! Yay!!

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

I'm sorry for the slightly-tipsy 3AM rambling, but going through this experience and watching so many people go through an admissions cycle without a single acceptance has actually made me realize a lot about myself. My professors applaud me for my perseverance and say that that's how I'm going to make it through grad school, but in reality I haven't had to persevere through anything. I'm a white, middle-class American in my early 20's with a functional and supportive family. In addition, I'm a complete wuss. Had I not received a single acceptance, I would not be the one saying "oh well, there's always next year". I would've been the one bad-mouthing each department that rejected me, with the maturity of a five-year-old (but at least I'd be famous in the "Favorite Rejection Quotes" topic!) 

I'm prepared for graduate school in a lot of ways, but one of those ways is not knowing how to deal with failure, because I've never had to. But in a few months, I'll be going from a school that is ranked 280th in my field to a school that is ranked in the top 10, and I'm going to be failing all over the place. That school is going to wish they had hired an underwater basketweaving major instead of a physics major, for all the good I'm going to do that department. The only time I will succeed is when I fail out of Cornell and write a comedy about how some white girl who doesn't know how to tie her own shoes (yes... seriously) tried to get her PhD in physics from Cornell. People will watch the shit out of that because my failing is going to be HILARIOUS. 

I don't even know where this was going. But the season I'm in the middle of for "How I Met Your Mother" is one of the best seasons of any show I've ever seen. 

[Neist]

5 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I'm sorry for the slightly-tipsy 3AM rambling, but going through this experience and watching so many people go through an admissions cycle without a single acceptance has actually made me realize a lot about myself. My professors applaud me for my perseverance and say that that's how I'm going to make it through grad school, but in reality I haven't had to persevere through anything. I'm a white, middle-class American in my early 20's with a functional and supportive family. In addition, I'm a complete wuss. Had I not received a single acceptance, I would not be the one saying "oh well, there's always next year". I would've been the one bad-mouthing each department that rejected me, with the maturity of a five-year-old (but at least I'd be famous in the "Favorite Rejection Quotes" topic!) 

I'm prepared for graduate school in a lot of ways, but one of those ways is not knowing how to deal with failure, because I've never had to. But in a few months, I'll be going from a school that is ranked 280th in my field to a school that is ranked in the top 10, and I'm going to be failing all over the place. That school is going to wish they had hired an underwater basketweaving major instead of a physics major, for all the good I'm going to do that department. The only time I will succeed is when I fail out of Cornell and write a comedy about how some white girl who doesn't know how to tie her own shoes (yes... seriously) tried to get her PhD in physics from Cornell. People will watch the shit out of that because my failing is going to be HILARIOUS. 

I don't even know where this was going. But the season I'm in the middle of for "How I Met Your Mother" is one of the best seasons of any show I've ever seen. 

Just remember, there's no such thing as failing. Either situations become more difficult, or you give up.

I'm sure you'll be fine! I bet everyone else at Cornell thinks they aren't good enough either, and if they don't, they are probably arrogant jerks.

[Euler]

6 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I'm sorry for the slightly-tipsy 3AM rambling, but going through this experience and watching so many people go through an admissions cycle without a single acceptance has actually made me realize a lot about myself. My professors applaud me for my perseverance and say that that's how I'm going to make it through grad school, but in reality I haven't had to persevere through anything. I'm a white, middle-class American in my early 20's with a functional and supportive family. In addition, I'm a complete wuss. Had I not received a single acceptance, I would not be the one saying "oh well, there's always next year". I would've been the one bad-mouthing each department that rejected me, with the maturity of a five-year-old (but at least I'd be famous in the "Favorite Rejection Quotes" topic!) 

I'm prepared for graduate school in a lot of ways, but one of those ways is not knowing how to deal with failure, because I've never had to. But in a few months, I'll be going from a school that is ranked 280th in my field to a school that is ranked in the top 10, and I'm going to be failing all over the place. That school is going to wish they had hired an underwater basketweaving major instead of a physics major, for all the good I'm going to do that department. The only time I will succeed is when I fail out of Cornell and write a comedy about how some white girl who doesn't know how to tie her own shoes (yes... seriously) tried to get her PhD in physics from Cornell. People will watch the shit out of that because my failing is going to be HILARIOUS. 

I don't even know where this was going. But the season I'm in the middle of for "How I Met Your Mother" is one of the best seasons of any show I've ever seen. 

So one of my older brothers said kind of the same thing when he got into med school- though it took him two admission cycles since the first time he didn't have enough experience doing actual work or volunteer in the medical experience. He said when he got to med school, for the first time he really had to learn how to study, since everything before that was easy.

I think a lot of us, maybe even most of us, have had that at some point. My undergrad experience was really easy, but I was also in basically a no-name school. But that was the result of my dealing with a whole lot of other garbage through high school like unchecked depression and ignoring my sexuality...anyway, now I'm here, after an unplanned gap year, and while I'm totally sure I need to be back in school in the fall, I'm petrified that I won't be good enough.

Tangent aside, you should look up "Imposter Syndrome" if you haven't. It's exceedingly common in academia, not talked about nearly enough, and while it does often drive highly apt people to work themselves more and more mercilessly, it can make living with yourself unbearable at times. hugs You were accepted to all those schools for a reason. It wasn't an accident; it wasn't a fluke.

[katpillow]

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny listen kid, I was once very much in your position as far as feeling a sense of naïveté about my experiences with adversity. Then I had my run in with it (if you've seen prior posts by me you might have a sense of what exactly). I got bashed over the head with "life" and got to the point where it always felt like I was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The big difference between you and I, is that it sounds like you've got a great support system around you, and even when shit does hit the fan (and it will at some point in grad school, according to pretty much every PhD and candidate I know) you will be able to grow in a healthy and secure way. There will be tears, wine, and hugs, but you will undoubtedly be ok in the end. Don't think that just because you come from some low ranking program, that you won't kick butt. I'd like to think that the fact that so many programs admitted you indicates you've got some good physics mojo (even though physics sucks and biology/chemistry are about a million times better #truth).

tl;dr You are going to do well. Adversity will come eventually, and when it does I think you'll find it's not so bad. Graduate studies are often just as much of a journey of self-discovery and growth as both an intellectual and a human being. 

Besides, look at the reverse situation: I am a graduate from a top 10 school, but at this point I think I'd be lucky to get in somewhere that ranked in the top 250.

[FoxAndChicken]

@Pink Fuzzy Bunny So, I handled that conceptual leap a few times, since I'm really good at convincing people to let me do things I'm probably not qualified for. When I was 14 I transferred to private school, and I was handling a much harder school with way more qualified peers while financing it myself. (I was the only one paying my own tuition.) Was it rough? Yes. I had never failed anything at my public school. But I kept at it, and people in general are sympathetic to people who work hard! I still made it to UMich, despite graduating dead center of my class. Dude. You didn't get into one program, which could be a random fluke or something. You got into ALL of them. Whatever was in your application said to those committees that you could handle it. Would it be easy? Nah. But you are definitely going into an environment where you will have mentors. Don't be afraid to rely on your support network from time to time and you'll get through it. 

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

Aw, thanks guys  I love reading your stories so much... 

[FoxAndChicken]

Is anyone else on Spring break? I'm at home in my small town. I do not understand the concept of free time at all. I did get a manicure that matched my hair though.  

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

24 minutes ago, FoxAndChicken said:

Is anyone else on Spring break? I'm at home in my small town. I do not understand the concept of free time at all. I did get a manicure that matched my hair though.  

Don't forget the matching pedicure. It's not spring break without a matching pedicure.

[FoxAndChicken]

5 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

Don't forget the matching pedicure. It's not spring break without a matching pedicure.

Oooh. I'll get that this week. Now I want that. 

[MarineBluePsy]

9 hours ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

I'm sorry for the slightly-tipsy 3AM rambling, but going through this experience and watching so many people go through an admissions cycle without a single acceptance has actually made me realize a lot about myself. My professors applaud me for my perseverance and say that that's how I'm going to make it through grad school, but in reality I haven't had to persevere through anything. I'm a white, middle-class American in my early 20's with a functional and supportive family. In addition, I'm a complete wuss. Had I not received a single acceptance, I would not be the one saying "oh well, there's always next year". I would've been the one bad-mouthing each department that rejected me, with the maturity of a five-year-old (but at least I'd be famous in the "Favorite Rejection Quotes" topic!) 

I'm prepared for graduate school in a lot of ways, but one of those ways is not knowing how to deal with failure, because I've never had to. But in a few months, I'll be going from a school that is ranked 280th in my field to a school that is ranked in the top 10, and I'm going to be failing all over the place. That school is going to wish they had hired an underwater basketweaving major instead of a physics major, for all the good I'm going to do that department. The only time I will succeed is when I fail out of Cornell and write a comedy about how some white girl who doesn't know how to tie her own shoes (yes... seriously) tried to get her PhD in physics from Cornell. People will watch the shit out of that because my failing is going to be HILARIOUS. 

I don't even know where this was going. But the season I'm in the middle of for "How I Met Your Mother" is one of the best seasons of any show I've ever seen. 

Thank you for saying this.  I don't at all relate because I've had to fight, struggle, hustle, and claw my way to every opportunity my entire life.  I have often looked at people around me that are similar to yourself and wondered if they ever get that they haven't really had to fight for anything.  Sure eventually life will happen and they'll have to deal with adversity, but until then I've wondered if they're just clueless about their good fortune or aware but don't care that it isn't that way for everyone.  It's nice to know that there is a bit of introspection going on for a some.

[FoxAndChicken]

I gave up on free time and I'm writing an essay due two weeks from now. I found this wonderful quote from a lecture on electronagnetism that I attended last year: "Imagine you're a creature that lives in a four dimensional space, but only experiences one three dimensional slice at a time. You shouldn't have to imagine too hard." 

[gingin6789]

So, some rejections went out for the only program I'm waiting to hear from ... 

But I didn't receive one? The recruitment visit was this past weekend, so I'm guessing they're only going to accept those from the visit ...

But I didn't get a rejection.

So now I'm like "what if they invited me to the visit and I deleted the email by mistake?" etc etc. even though I manage my email and watch it like a hawk.

Maybe my rejection is on its way, maybe I'm on a wait list, maybe they'll surprise me and accept me without me going on the visit.

EITHER WAY, my biggest fear is that somehow I missed some key piece of information along the way! Ah!

[FoxAndChicken]

1 minute ago, gingin6789 said:

So, some rejections went out for the only program I'm waiting to hear from ... 

But I didn't receive one? The recruitment visit was this past weekend, so I'm guessing they're only going to accept those from the visit ...

But I didn't get a rejection.

So now I'm like "what if they invited me to the visit and I deleted the email by mistake?" etc etc. even though I manage my email and watch it like a hawk.

Maybe my rejection is on its way, maybe I'm on a wait list, maybe they'll surprise me and accept me without me going on the visit.

EITHER WAY, my biggest fear is that somehow I missed some key piece of information along the way! Ah!

That seems like good news, I think! Eep! Good luck!

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

12 minutes ago, gingin6789 said:

So, some rejections went out for the only program I'm waiting to hear from ... 

But I didn't receive one? The recruitment visit was this past weekend, so I'm guessing they're only going to accept those from the visit ...

But I didn't get a rejection.

So now I'm like "what if they invited me to the visit and I deleted the email by mistake?" etc etc. even though I manage my email and watch it like a hawk.

Maybe my rejection is on its way, maybe I'm on a wait list, maybe they'll surprise me and accept me without me going on the visit.

EITHER WAY, my biggest fear is that somehow I missed some key piece of information along the way! Ah!

Glad to hear that my "spam" folder in my e-mail is not the only one getting a few visits!

[Euler]

1 minute ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

Glad to hear that my "spam" folder in my e-mail is not the only one getting a few visits!

I actually went to my spam folder and made sure everything was unsubscribed to avoid heart attacks from seeing unread messages there.

[gingin6789]

44 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

 

 

 

Yes, I always make sure to check spam! My spam folder is the cleanest it's ever been! @foxandchicken thank you! (posting on mobile is tough, hence weird formatting)

 

Edited February 28, 2016 by gingin6789

[rzilby]

Been checking my application portals non-stop despite the fact that it's Sunday and there's nothing new there.... Right? I shouldn't expect any news on a weekend, should I? I'm pathetically hopeful that I'll find a decision in one of the portals and not have to wonder about that school any more. 

At this point I would almost rather just get all the answers tomorrow and have them be rejections than sit and wait any longer. I just want to know where I'm going to live for the next 3 years, considering the competition for east coast schools is insane and a lot of schools I chose are out of state. Ugh  

Edited February 28, 2016 by rzilby
typo

[marycaryne]

1 minute ago, rzilby said:

Been checking my application portals non-stop despite the fact that it's Sunday and there's nothing new there.... Right? I shouldn't expect any news on a weekend, should I? I'm pathetically hopeful that I'll find a decision in one of the portals and not have to wonder about that school any more. 

At this point I would almost rather just get all the answers tomorrow and have them be rejections than sit and wait any longer. I just want to know where I'm going to live for the next 3 years, considering the competition for east coast schools is insane and a lot of schools I chose are out of state. Ugh  

This has been me today...checking the portals and reminding myself "it's Sunday!" Then repeating the cycle about 20-30 minutes later. I should be working on a paper but I am instead torturing myself on a day I likely wouldn't hear anything anyway. Fun times.

[rzilby]

Just now, marycaryne said:

This has been me today...checking the portals and reminding myself "it's Sunday!" Then repeating the cycle about 20-30 minutes later. I should be working on a paper but I am instead torturing myself on a day I likely wouldn't hear anything anyway. Fun times.

That's exactly what I'm procrastinating on as well haha. One paragraph left to go, but I'd rather sit here and stress. I hope you hear back soon! Maybe they'll surprise us with an automated acceptance e-mail? 

[gingin6789]

3 hours ago, FoxAndChicken said:

That seems like good news, I think! Eep! Good luck!

I should also mention that, while the recruitment visit was this past weekend, I didn't get invited to it! I realize my last post made it sound like I went and was waiting to hear back. Nope, I did not go to the visit, which is part of why I feel like I'm in extra limbo, you know?

[gingin6789]

I keep seeing posts for notifications via Postal Service today ... and the people list that they received the notification today, on the 28th. Via Postal Service.

There's just one problem:

Edited February 28, 2016 by gingin6789

[Euler]

8 minutes ago, gingin6789 said:

I keep seeing posts for notifications via Postal Service today ... and the people list that they received the notification today, on the 28th. Via Postal Service.

There's just one problem:

It kind of blows my mind that mail is actually the method of decision for some places at all, when literally every other part of the application is digital

I guess it makes our lives more exciting, waiting for the mail to arrive each day. It's like checking email on steroids!

[gingin6789]

1 minute ago, Euler said:

It kind of blows my mind that mail is actually the method of decision for some places at all, when literally every other part of the application is digital

I guess it makes our lives more exciting, waiting for the mail to arrive each day. It's like checking email on steroids!

Yes, it surprises me as well! I haven't received a physical letter for any of my rejections, but I received two acceptance letters after being accepted electronically, so that was a nice little surprise in my mailbox. 

[Euler]

Just now, gingin6789 said:

Yes, it surprises me as well! I haven't received a physical letter for any of my rejections, but I received two acceptance letters after being accepted electronically, so that was a nice little surprise in my mailbox. 

Yeah, I'm expecting one rejection letter (though nobody has posted that they've gotten one yet, so we'll see), and there's a good chance at one acceptance letter. But all the rest of it is waiting for email notification to check the schools' application systems.