Posting your acceptance on facebook

[jose]

Out of curiosity, what made you regret it so quickly?

When I got my first interview I immediately posted it; however, when I got an invitation for an interview at a top biostat program, I was much more hesitant. My SO asked why I hadn't posted it, and I couldn't come up with a good reason, so I did. After that initial hesitance, I didn't feel bad about it. (And even after my status was changed to something unrelated, several people were still commenting on the status asking about the top biostat program. So at this point I had stopped announcing it, but it was still being broadcast).

I understand that people will have different feelings on this, and have different experiences/styles of facebooking, but I was curious why you regretted so quickly.

Not really sure why I regretted it - I'm usually never on fb, so it felt a bit self-indulgent to just come out of nowhere bragging about getting accepted. I guess it's just the nature of my facebooking style, I'm more low-key than most people.

[EducationHopeful]

I thought about the best way to post my first acceptance (which also happens to be one of my top choices and best ranked schools for what I'm interested in)... for about a second. Then I posted it in ALL CAPS to let the world know how excited I was.

If it comes across as bragging, it's because I never expected to get accepted there... so it was really more that I was in a state of shock than anything else.

And also because I know that there are people applying to same program that I'm not on best terms with and I'M A COMPLETE BITCH I just wanted to share the information with them. :-D

[11Q13]

I'm in a bit of a different situation it seems, I'm Facebook friends with 3 out of my 5 reference writers. I don't know what the proper etiquette is in this case. Should I send them all a person email to tell them I got in and thank them again before I post it to Facebook?

[fuzzylogician]

I'm in a bit of a different situation it seems, I'm Facebook friends with 3 out of my 5 reference writers. I don't know what the proper etiquette is in this case. Should I send them all a person email to tell them I got in and thank them again before I post it to Facebook?

You don't need to write them personally every time you get a reply from a school, even if you post about it on FB. Send them a personal email or talk to them to thank them and let them know the final results and your decision, once you've made up your mind. I would do that before posting on FB, but I don't think it really matters.

[natsteel]

Hell, my grad school acceptance was probably the most interesting post on my page in ages for a lot of my facebook friends. Otherwise, my page looks like:

[picture of cute kitten]

[video of cute kitten]

mudlark is so excited about working with archive materials in special collections!

[link to depressing Chronicle article about the job market]

mudlark is [insert joke that only humanities students will get]

[link to online database of historical literature]

[video of cute kitten]

Replace the kitten with my 2 boys and you have my FB page.

[juror#1]

Personally, I didn't plan on posting any grad school updates...until my number 1 program, that I applied to for the sake of applying and never thought I would even get a second glance from, wanted an interview and then suddenly it was on facebook. My excitement just got the best of me. But none of my friends are applying to the same schools as me and I have only actually mentioned the name of one school on there. I don't think it is bragging unless done intentionally to try and rub it in. Instead, I like to view it as simply sharing my excitement with my friends

[varekai1018]

I'll definitely post something on FB if I get into my top choice...particularly as it will also serve as my official soon-to-be-moving (across the country) announcement!

I do have a FB friend who went about this in a pretty arrogant way. I was excited for him when he was accepted to his top choice PhD program; however, the subsequent (DAILY) posts about X University's ranking, admissions requirements, etc. were enough to make me lose my lunch.

[DJLamar]

I posted my first acceptance on Facebook and got lots of positive responses and support and congratulations. Since then I got half-accepted to another program (CMU LTI accepted me for only a Masters when I applied for PhD :\) but didn't post anything about that. I figure if I get into Berkeley or MIT, then I'll pretty much definitely post that. If I get into Princeton, Carnegie Mellon (still have one program left to hear from there), or Stanford, then I might post about that. In both of those cases I'm thinking I'll only post the first extra one of each of those two groups. I certainly don't want to post like five times that I got into a badass school (although I definitely want to be able to do that without lying )

[FingersCrossedX]

I posted my first result which was an acceptance. I'll probably leave it alone until I know where I'm going. Then if its not the program I got into first I say I'm going to <school X>.

I post it only because I'm a few years out of undergrad so my friends aren't "competing" with me for spots. Also my friends from home, my family and my college friends live all over the country so I won't see them to tell them. This is just a easy way to let everyone know. They all know I'm applying and ask me about it a lot so this way they're in the loop. Sort of. Anyone that doesn't want to see my status update can defriend me. If someone isn't happy for me then they aren't much of a friend. Also the status I put up was a little self-deprecating, didn't want to sound boastful.

I think people use Facebook in very different ways depending on when and where they started using it. Facebook came into existence while I was in college and I remember when you had to be in college to use it. Oh the good old days. I have Facebook friends I knew in college and don't really talk to other than the occasional like or comment. These people keep up with me by what I share on Facebook and I'm the same with them. I figure its a pretty big milestone and they'd like to know about it. I don't think they need my GPA or SoP. I like seeing their baby pictures, well some of them, so they get to see what school is dumb enough to take me on as a student.

In a different time of my life, specifically undergrad, I wouldn't have posted anything. I told my friends in person what I was doing once I graduated because I saw them all everyday. College is so much more social, so Facebook isn't necessary to let everyone know. To each their own I guess.

Edited February 28, 2011 by FingersCrossedX

[MoJingly]

This is an interesting thread to revive.

With my acceptance, I just simply said "accepted into my PhD program!" I didn't know ANYBODY trying to get into the same programs so I had no qualms. The support and congratulations were overwhelming (and so nice!)

[SimilarlyDifferent]

I don't think it is bragging as long as you don't post about every single acceptance or go into extreme detail (like how hard it is to pick from Uber Leet schools 1 and 2). I also wouldn't post about how ginormous the funding package is that they offered you.

However, a nice simple update about what program you got into and perhaps a thank you for all of the support and well wishes of friends and family (if applicable) can be both tasteful and quell your desire to shout about your grad school application season victory at the same time.

[Poppet]

I fully intend on writing OMG OMG I GOT INTO MY TOP PROGRAM!!! in the very way that everyone else is knocking, but like another person stated earlier, if I have to read 'OMG WE BOUGHT THE HOUSE!" and "OMG I GOT THE JOB!" and "OMG MY KID TOOK HER FIRST STEP TODAY" then why the hell should I NOT state my own excitement?

And I certainly don't think people are conceited when they are happy for themselves and about advancements and progress they make in their lives -- I'd rather a million times over read happy, excited, proud facebook updates than have to read through the deliberately enigmatic posts (why are you posting it publicly if you're being intentionally vague? Then you just look like you're asking for attention, and false modesty isn't modesty) or the moping Debbie Downers who are always complaining about about their jobs, lives, friends, diets, whatevers. I would much rather both of those groups of people shouted happy things at the top of their lungs than post the things they do.

Also, I argue that it has nothing to do with "conceit," and conceit has more to do with the fact that anyone here would think it's such an abnormally large accomplishment that everyone on facebook will necessarily be jealous. I can't fathom the number of friends I have on my facebook who have no desire to go to grad school, let alone MY top choice in MY top city, who don't wish to be an academic, are thankful they have full-time jobs and are not poor students, who find the idea boring, who feel SORRY for me that I've chosen to be a lifelong student instead of making other choices, etc. I think it's awfully cocky to presume that people will necessarily be jealous or necessarily think you are "conceited" when the things you are posting about are not universal wants - no matter how much you may want it.

So, yeah. I will definitely share my excitement if I feel like it and I know that I won't feel remotely bad about it.

[Edited to add: In truth, when I received my acceptance to U of T last year, my update was, "Helloooo Toronto...?" and when I was accepted to other schools it bounced off that also, "Or Helloooo Montreal..?" so it wasn't all in caps and focused more on my impending moves than education, but the point is that I still fully intend to post it, post it, POST IT and share my excitement when/IF I am accepted anywhere this year, guilt-free.]

Edited February 28, 2011 by Poppet

[neuropsych76]

I posted i got into graduate school on my facebook

I don't think its a big deal unless you're obnoxious about it (like anything else really). Getting into graduate school is a huge life event (for me at least) so I had no problem telling my social networking friends that I "made it."

[jaxzwolf]

If I get accepted to my top choice school, I am definitely posting it on Facebook. I have NEVER updated my status on Facebook before, and, at most, I check my account once weekly. There will be people on there reading my update and thinking, "Holy cow, jaxzwolf is on Facebook? Oh yeah... I vaguely remember accepting that friend request. Hm."

[rainbowworrier]

I agree with Sparky and Fuzzylogician. Although, and I'm not sure if this was a dream or just some daytime delirium, but I was thinking...wouldn't it be kind of ridiculous if schools started notifying of admissions decisions via Facebook? The GradCafe results page would have entries like, "Accepted via Wall Post" or "I was Poked by my Top Choice. I checked my status on their website and I found out I was rejected."

One of my schools, on the application, asked if I would be ok with being contacted via Facebook. I declined.

[MoJingly]

I'd rather a million times over read happy, excited, proud facebook updates than have to read through the deliberately enigmatic posts (why are you posting it publicly if you're being intentionally vague? Then you just look like you're asking for attention, and false modesty isn't modesty) or the moping Debbie Downers who are always complaining about about their jobs, lives, friends, diets, whatevers. I would much rather both of those groups of people shouted happy things at the top of their lungs than post the things they do.

Oh yeah! SOOOOOO many people do that! Post things like, "I just don't think I can handle it anymore." What? That's it? Should I call you to make sure you aren't going to hurt yourself? Do you just want attention? WTF is wrong?

It's to the point that if I have friends posting like that continuously, I just select the option of never having them pop into my news feed.

End of rant.

[MadameNon]

I cannot think of a single reason why posting an acceptance you're happy about on your FB would be an issue. At all. Please explain. FB is the ultimate tool of narcissism in which you are the star of your own reality show. Why are you even friends with people who wouldn't be glad to share in your happiness and accomplishment?

[socialpsych]

I cannot think of a single reason why posting an acceptance you're happy about on your FB would be an issue. At all. Please explain. FB is the ultimate tool of narcissism in which you are the star of your own reality show. Why are you even friends with people who wouldn't be glad to share in your happiness and accomplishment?

Here is one reason, but it has nothing to do with being conceited or narcissistic (which, I agree, is kind of the point of FB). Schools where you are a serious candidate for admission are trying to figure out whether you are likely to attend if given an offer. Even if your security settings are friends-only, if you have attended interviews and have become FB friends with current students at those programs, information indicating that you are excited about other offers or especially about your "top choice" or your preference for other programs could actually hurt you.

I am not just being paranoid; I'm speaking from experience.

But if that worry doesn't apply to you, I don't see any reason not to share your excitement!

[katemiddleton]

socialpsych, that's very good advice! thank you!

[neuropsychosocial]

I'd rather a million times over read happy, excited, proud facebook updates than have to read through the deliberately enigmatic posts (why are you posting it publicly if you're being intentionally vague? Then you just look like you're asking for attention, and false modesty isn't modesty)

I posted an extremely cryptic status on facebook right after I received an offer of admission from my first-choice school, which was the first school from which I heard. I was just bursting with joy and wanted to sing from the rooftops, but I felt strongly that my spouse should hear first. I couldn't reach him for a few hours (I tried!) and so posted something about dreams coming true. After I spoke to him, I posted an explicit update and several friends said later that they were able to connect the dots when they saw the second post (that I wasn't trying to be annoying with the super-cryptic status, but had some people to tell in person). I needed an outlet for my emotion, though, when I wasn't able to reach my spouse, and I'm glad facebook exists so that I can share billions of cat pictures, see my friends' babies, and hear the positives/negatives of peoples' lives.

[neuropsych76]

Here is one reason, but it has nothing to do with being conceited or narcissistic (which, I agree, is kind of the point of FB). Schools where you are a serious candidate for admission are trying to figure out whether you are likely to attend if given an offer. Even if your security settings are friends-only, if you have attended interviews and have become FB friends with current students at those programs, information indicating that you are excited about other offers or especially about your "top choice" or your preference for other programs could actually hurt you.

I am not just being paranoid; I'm speaking from experience.

But if that worry doesn't apply to you, I don't see any reason not to share your excitement!

I have my privacy settings all the way up and I still didn't mention the school I got accepted to

[jblsmith]

Considering the dumb shit I post on facebook anyway, I think an acceptance to my #1 school would be very appropriate.

[newms]

I haven't posted that I got in on my Facebook just because I'm not ready to let my work place know that I'll be leaving in the summer. But I don't think it's bragging or conceited at all to post that you got in.

[the once and future grad]

I posted something fairly cryptic ("what a difference a year makes") when I got an unofficial offer a few weeks ago, but I probably won't post again until I know where I'm going. I get pretty annoyed when people post constant updates about developing life situations ("second interview today," "getting ready to put in an offer on the house," etc), so in an effort to avoid TMI, I'll wait until I can post "the once and future grad will be attending Howarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry this fall!"

[Amalia222]

For me, facebook is the easiest way to tell all the people I know all at once. It's just simple, not conceited. I think if you say "nyah-nyah, I got iiiiin" that might be bad, but Facebook was designed to quickly, efficiently tell your friends what you've been up to.