Let’s just TALK about it...

[deleteaccount]

I feel like I've waited for so long, and yet it could be another 2 weeks before I hear anything. Maybe a week if I'm lucky. I hate the idea that I could be waiting all this time just to have rejections piled up on my lap. Hoping for the best.

[spamhaus]

46 minutes ago, eighty8keys said:

I feel like I've waited for so long, and yet it could be another 2 weeks before I hear anything. Maybe a week if I'm lucky. I hate the idea that I could be waiting all this time just to have rejections piled up on my lap. Hoping for the best.

Ditto

[ElvisShrugged]

Hi everyone, first-time poster here! I'm so relieved to find a community of people in the same liminal space as me. You all seem so brilliant and deserving, and I honestly hope the best for everyone here. I'm glad to have a space to express my concerns and anxieties with you.

Currently, I have no acceptances or rejections, just radio silence. I've applied to Chicago, Purdue, UC Boulder, UT Austin, and Western Michigan, and of those five, only Austin is listing my application as "in review." I'm losing sleep with the anxiety. I don't expect to get into Chicago or Austin, and possibly Boulder (they only accept four to six candidates, I understand), and I'm regretting that I didn't apply to more schools as I feel like my chances of acceptance anywhere are slim to none. I feel guilty for not continuing my scholarship during this time, or at least remaining disciplined with my reading, but all I can seem to do after work is binge Netflix, play video games, or sleep. Anyone picked up a healthy hobby to help with their anxiety?

Edited January 18, 2018 by ElvisShrugged

[PlsAdmitMePls]

9 minutes ago, ElvisShrugged said:

Hi everyone, first-time poster here! I'm so relieved to find a community of people in the same liminal space as me. You all seem so brilliant and deserving, and I honestly hope the best for everyone here. I'm glad to have a space to express my concerns and anxieties with you.

Currently, I have no acceptances or rejections, just radio silence. I've applied to Chicago, Purdue, UC Boulder, UT Austin, and Western Michigan, and of those five, only Austin is listing my application as "in review." I'm losing sleep with the anxiety. I don't expect to get into Chicago or Austin, and possibly Boulder (they only accept four to six candidates, I understand), and I'm regretting that I didn't apply to more schools as I feel like my chances of acceptance anywhere are slim to none. I feel guilty for not continuing my scholarship during this time, or at least remaining disciplined with my reading, but I all I can seem to do after work is binge Netflix, play video games, or sleep. Anyone picked up a healthy hobby to help with their anxiety?

I’ve seem to have acquired a new hobby: alternating between checking my email and TheGradCafe every 5 minutes! Can’t say it’s too healthy, however. I’m getting nothing done at work, since I’m so anxious about results. You’re not alone; grad school results are on my mind 24/7, it’s basically what I think about going to sleep and what I think about when I wake up.

I’m sure we’ll all come out of this process ecstatic! Good luck to everyone!

[jocorac]

I'm such a nervous wreck. I sent in two applications already.. I have one more to do. Part of me feels good about it, the other part is freaking out. If I don't get accepted to my top choices, I honestly might just wait and go work for a few before I even think on reapplying. Looking at the results page, I'm expecting to hear from then sometime in February. My chances may be better than what I'm thinking but you never know with schools.  

[Tyedyedturtle91]

God, where do I even begin? To put it simply, this has been such a dream of mine for years, and I am so anxious that my dream might be dead on arrival.

I am applying to MFA programs in fiction writing, quite a derivation from many of you guys, and I have a bit of a history with this process. I went to a smaller, public university in the Midwest. Graduated in Dec. 2013. I was a model student, dual majored in English and philosophy, minored in German. I was a pretty decorated student. I applied to programs right out my undergrad, and I had the full support of my professors. I got into one MFA program and one MA program. I was ultimately rejected by six other programs, and this crushed me. The one program that accepted me did not offer funding to me, and this was a deal breaker at the time. I was living at home. I didn't have much of a savings to support myself. I was struggling to find employment besides retail. I questioned if taking out loans was worth it or a smart idea. I decided not to go. I was now colossally crushed. I fell into a very deep depression for months, and I struggled to write. It was awful. I ended up taking some journalism classes at the local community college to help beef up my resume to find a job, and then I briefly worked in local news. It was fun. It helped me out of my depression. But it wasn't my dream or my passion.

During that time, I met and fell deeply in love with my now husband. Maybe everything happened for a reason. In 2015, he relocated to D.C., where I planned to join him later that year. But then my mother passed away. Cue grief and an even deeper depression for months--one I still struggle to stay out of. I didn't move out to him until nearly Summer 2016. I started working in technical writing a couple months later, and I still work in the field. Through that, I learned how important fiction writing was to me. To quote Hamilton, "I wrote my way out." It was critical to my recovery and still is. I really got over my fear of rejection, after I realized just how dark life could be in the scope of an even greater, far more monumental loss in my life. I realized all the cliches: how precious life is, how you can't wait for life to happen to you, etc. That's when I knew I had to try again.

I write nearly everyday now, so long as work/life/etc. allow. I'm so much more dedicated than I ever was when I tried before. I feel it on such a visceral level. Graduate school is a symbol of resilience, and hope, and ambition, and recovery to me. I want to make my mom proud. I want to live a fulfilling life, where I enjoy my job most days and get to teach, reaching students and helping them with their dreams.

I try not to think about what happens if I am rejected this time. Part of me thinks I am better equipped to handle it, but part of me thinks not. I applied to 12 programs this time around, and I applied to a greater variety (differing levels of prestige/difficulty, some in Canada, some spread across the U.S., a couple MAs as well). Every week I hear nothing is a great week for now. Most programs don't issue acceptances until about mid-February.

But I pine away about it so often. I overthink my supplemental document submissions and my portfolio. I overthink my personal statement. For the time being, I control those thoughts with research hours into the cities I've applied to, and the real estate market in each. Sometimes, I worry this is getting my hopes up to high, but I like dwelling on the items I can control, given I'm accepted, rather than the millions of things I can't.

I realize this time around that nothing is guaranteed. So much of this is subjective. So much of this process is splitting hairs. Many of us, no matter our fields, are great and worthy candidates. This, unfortunately, is just the current state of things: the economy, the job market, academia. It's frightening to consider how out of one's hands your life often is. But we have done what we can do to steer the direction, to choose a brighter path. I try to take great hope in that.

Will I give up after this if I am totally rejected? Probably on going to school. I hope not on writing. I hope not on entering the field of education--even if in some tangential way. Even if it hurts, my life (our lives) will go on, and can and will still be incredibly fulfilling. We just will have to grieve our loss and heal.

I wish you all luck, and I hope your greatest dreams come true. Thanks for listening.

[Fiain]

16 hours ago, spamhaus said:

Ditto

So I don't know your field, but I know for mine (Chemistry) both Stanford and Cornell are sending out admissions.. End of January (Stanford estimated end of jan/early feb and Cornell next two weeks). I called them and got that information directly from them.

 

So don't give up hope yet - I don't think the majority of application from those two at least have gotten anything.

[GarbledGeyser]

I'm taking up crosswords. My university has a long winter term, so until the spring semester starts up (almost February), I need to keep myself distracted somehow...

[Tyedyedturtle91]

On 1/18/2018 at 11:07 AM, ElvisShrugged said:

Hi everyone, first-time poster here! I'm so relieved to find a community of people in the same liminal space as me. You all seem so brilliant and deserving, and I honestly hope the best for everyone here. I'm glad to have a space to express my concerns and anxieties with you.

Currently, I have no acceptances or rejections, just radio silence. I've applied to Chicago, Purdue, UC Boulder, UT Austin, and Western Michigan, and of those five, only Austin is listing my application as "in review." I'm losing sleep with the anxiety. I don't expect to get into Chicago or Austin, and possibly Boulder (they only accept four to six candidates, I understand), and I'm regretting that I didn't apply to more schools as I feel like my chances of acceptance anywhere are slim to none. I feel guilty for not continuing my scholarship during this time, or at least remaining disciplined with my reading, but all I can seem to do after work is binge Netflix, play video games, or sleep. Anyone picked up a healthy hobby to help with their anxiety?

Don't feel bad. It is tough to juggle it all. Just start a little at a time. Make a reading list, perhaps, and then start small with a poem or short stories. I'm a fiction writing applicant, and I understand the desire and need to read ALL. THE. TIME. It keeps you sharp. It inspires. But sometimes, I'm just too damn tired after my day job anymore. Sometimes, binge watching House Hunters with some tacos and my cat by my side sounds a lot better. That's okay. We're only human.

I actually got a great app on my iPad lately, called Calm, which is about meditation and better sleep. It's great to just try the freebies and drain my mind of anxiety. I focus on breathing and listen to the naturescapes. It preps me for journaling or reading, and makes it easier to sleep. Maybe give it a try. Making a habit for like 10-15 minutes everyday is all you need, even.

Good luck. I applied to Purdue as well! Maybe our paths will cross. Keep faith.

[00ber]

On 1/18/2018 at 11:18 AM, PlsAdmitMePls said:

I’ve seem to have acquired a new hobby: alternating between checking my email and TheGradCafe every 5 minutes! Can’t say it’s too healthy, however. I’m getting nothing done at work, since I’m so anxious about results. You’re not alone; grad school results are on my mind 24/7, it’s basically what I think about going to sleep and what I think about when I wake up.

I’m sure we’ll all come out of this process ecstatic! Good luck to everyone!

@PlsAdmitMePls Your post seriously could've been written by me. This is literally my life. Even if it doesn't receive the anxiety, it does somehow help to know that we're all suffering together!

[deleteaccount]

On 1/16/2018 at 3:58 PM, spamhaus said:

@eighty8keysGoogle AI Residency Program

I can now join you as a rejected applicant. I am disappointed, but not as disappointed as I thought I would be, considering that I thought it was a really cool opportunity. I was just kinda like, "Well, that sucks." But at the end of the day, it was never plan A, so I guess I'm just saving my disappointment for all of my plan A failures .

Edited January 19, 2018 by eighty8keys

[spamhaus]

1 hour ago, eighty8keys said:

I can now join you as a rejected applicant. I am disappointed, but not as disappointed as I thought I would be, considering that I thought it was a really cool opportunity. I was just kinda like, "Well, that sucks." But at the end of the day, it was never plan A, so I guess I'm just saving my disappointment for all of my plan A failures .

*fingers crossed* Hope we both get great PhD acceptances that we are happy with!

[deleteaccount]

17 minutes ago, spamhaus said:

*fingers crossed* Hope we both get great PhD acceptances that we are happy with!

Haha, I have a champagne bottle in my room, and I was thinking about keeping it for my first (hopefully) good news! But then I was like, what if I don't get any good news and the bottle sits there as a curse reminding me of my failures? But then I realized that if I don't get in anywhere, I'll probably need that bottle even more. 

[Wee_Animalcule]

New to this thread so maybe I should introduce myself?

Undergrad GPA 3.8/4.0, graduated from the honors program and with public service honors from an "up and coming" school - not super well known but recently ranked the best university in the US under fifty years old.
Major: Biochemistry        Minor: Public Health
Two years of undergrad research on CRISPR-Cas systems and drug resistance in E. Faecalis.
One year of full-time research on lncRNA-derived peptides (which is a clusterfuck of a field if I've ever been involved in one).
No publications but have performed all of my research independently, including currently leading a project with a clinical fellow in training.
Three years as a Youth Outreach Leader with Planned Parenthood, responsible for sexual education on my undergrad campus. (this was concurrent with undergrad)
GRE: Don't remember specific numbers but ~80% quantitative, >90% verbal

Initial rec letters from my undergrad PI, who is not that well known but trained me herself as I was not attached to a grad student, my current supervisor who can better attest to my bench work, the Vice President of my university, and my supervisor at Planned Parenthood for good measure.

Applied to Emory MMG, Boston PiBs, and Pittsburgh Micro. Got an email from a PI mentioned in my personal statement to Emory informing me that I was wait listed. Was able to secure an additional rec letter from my current PI, who is extremely well known. Also got that letter appended to my Boston application before it was reviewed, am currently working on hopefully doing the same at Pittsburgh.

Pittsburgh's application status has said "completed" with no feedback whatsoever this whole time, so I'm losing hope there. I'm hoping that this last letter will better my chances at Emory and Boston though. I'm just worried my lack of publications will come to bite me in the ass, because while I'm confident that my name would be included on any publications stemming from my current project, I am not as confident that this project won't take quite a few years to complete.

Edited January 20, 2018 by Wee_Animalcule

[ShewantsthePhD101]

It is terrible of me to complain, I know, but I was accepted to FSU on Tuesday and invited to Emory's visitation weekend on Wednesday... but I think having heard from two programs so early is making me antsier waiting to hear back from the other 8 I applied to. It makes it seem like the 2-3 weeks until I can start expecting to hear from them seem like an eternity... How am I supposed to be patient?!

[GarbledGeyser]

5 minutes ago, ShewantsthePhD101 said:

It is terrible of me to complain, I know, but I was accepted to FSU on Tuesday and invited to Emory's visitation weekend on Wednesday... but I think having heard from two programs so early is making me antsier waiting to hear back from the other 8 I applied to. It makes it seem like the 2-3 weeks until I can start expecting to hear from them seem like an eternity... How am I supposed to be patient?!

Carefully.

In all seriousness, congrats on the early responses!

[ShewantsthePhD101]

4 minutes ago, GarbledGeyser said:

Carefully.

In all seriousness, congrats on the early responses!

Thanks... I just feel like waiting for the other schools (especially my top choice) is gonna drive me insane.

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

I know how you feel @ShewantsthePhD101 . I got my first acceptance less than 3 weeks after their deadline way back in December. I've had one interview for another program so far, but I shouldn't hear back about admissions from my remaining 6 programs until February. Although I should be in that relieved state that I'm going (and the school I got into is amazing- visiting them later this month), I'm still freaked out waiting for the remaining decisions. x]

[GarbledGeyser]

4 minutes ago, ShewantsthePhD101 said:

Thanks... I just feel like waiting for the other schools (especially my top choice) is gonna drive me insane.

One of my favorite relaxing time-wasters is Myoats. You can create neat designs around points of symmetry. 

[deleteaccount]

On one hand, I'm sure 

9 minutes ago, ShewantsthePhD101 said:

Thanks... I just feel like waiting for the other schools (especially my top choice) is gonna drive me insane.

 

4 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

I know how you feel @ShewantsthePhD101 . I got my first acceptance less than 3 weeks after their deadline way back in December. I've had one interview for another program so far, but I shouldn't hear back about admissions from my remaining 6 programs until February. Although I should be in that relieved state that I'm going (and the school I got into is amazing- visiting them later this month), I'm still freaked out waiting for the remaining decisions. x]

On one hand, I'm sure your feelings are valid; one the other hand, don't get greedy!!!  Some of just want to know we're going to grad school .

[GreenEyedTrombonist]

Yeah, I definitely get that @eighty8keys . Although I'm super excited, I've tried not to overly talk about the acceptance on the forum. I didn't get in anywhere last year and, although I was happy for those getting in, I know firsthand how it can hurt to see others get in everywhere while you're just waiting for one shot. 

[ShewantsthePhD101]

13 minutes ago, eighty8keys said:

On one hand, I'm sure your feelings are valid; one the other hand, don't get greedy!!!  Some of just want to know we're going to grad school .

I'm not trying to be "greedy". It just happens that I've heard back from my last choice school... I'm hoping for something better. And the sooner I hear back from my top choices the sooner I can reject the other places I've been accepted and pull my application from other places still considering me - leaving more room for everyone else.

[deleteaccount]

2 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Yeah, I definitely get that @eighty8keys . Although I'm super excited, I've tried not to overly talk about the acceptance on the forum. I didn't get in anywhere last year and, although I was happy for those getting in, I know firsthand how it can hurt to see others get in everywhere while you're just waiting for one shot. 

Haha, no, I wasn't talking about general acceptances. I was just picking on you guys for talking about acceptances making waiting worse .

[PlsAdmitMePls]

Ugh, I'm getting so anxious -- somedays I feel like I'm going to throw up any minute due to the stress. I feel like my obsessive email checking is just adding to the stress, and I'm constantly under an adrenaline-fueled fight-or-flight mental state from the moment I wake up. This wait is the absolute worst. I completely understand that the selection process is time and labor intensive, but I really do wish they would release results sooner, rather than later. I genuinely do not know how I'm going to last until late March. I guess it won't be quite as bad once I get some acceptances under my belt, but it's absolute mental torture right now.

[ShewantsthePhD101]

I think just like there is the April 15th acceptance date, there needs to be a standard notification of acceptance date so we all know exactly when we can expect to hear.