MathCat

How does your academic probation system work? If you got a 1.3 on a 4.0 scale and you needed a 3 to avoid probation, it was literally impossible to avoid probation for your second term. Your B's are unfortunate, but the way I see it you have three solid arguments for not being expelled:
a) It was impossible to get off of probation in your second semester, so remaining on probation in your third semester solely because of your first semester's performance (when you were acclimating to being in the US) is equivalent to remaining on probation for one semester if you look at it from the perspective of potential outcomes.
b) You got grades that were above the threshold for probation for your other two terms, indicating that your lack of performance was over a year behind you at this point and there was a major correction.
c) If you are only permitted to take three classes in a term, and the university knowingly allowed you to enroll in a Thesis course, they set you up to fail. If you had a 2.5 GPA entering your 3rd semester (and there are 3 courses per semester) you would need exactly 3 As to equal a 3.0 GPA (once again assuming 3 courses per term). Essentially by allowing you to remain in your program since that first semester, the university has demonstrated that either they did not care about your success as a student, they were not able to do basic math, or that they were planning not to expel you when this outcome inevitably happened.

EDIT: To elaborate on the point re: basic math. If you had a 1.3 your first semester (3 courses), and you have 5 courses (because a Thesis course is expected of you) remaining which count towards your GPA, you would need a 4.02 GPA average over your remaining courses to not be expelled.
I would bring this up with your advisor, and appeal to the university regardless of what your advisor says (unless they have an answer that makes such an appeal irrelevant in a positive way).

Depending on your class size, the writing center staff may also murder you.

This is entirely normal and commonplace. I'm afraid you'll just have to get used to it. You were an exceptional student. Your students, by and large, will be average students.

I think that if you were to spend time getting to know the culture of this BB a bit more you'd understand that these kinds of comments are not appropriate here.

This is definitely a bizarre situation. I don't know if I've ever seen a formal policy against it, but common sense alone dictates that the TA should not be a current student for a variety of reasons. 1. How can you judge the quality of someone's work when you are not as fluent in the subject matter? A TA is usually someone who did well in a course and then assists in the instruction and grading of material in subsequent semesters/years. It's like the in-between stage of student and professor. 2. How can the TA be impartial if they are grading their fellow classmates? This is another reason why TAs are usually more advanced students because the likelihood of there being much interaction and "history" with the students in the class is unlikely. 

This, so much. I see so many people talking about doing this because they're waiting on waitlist results or just to hear back, but I think it is far, far better to be honest and act in good faith first (i.e. ask for an extension). Accepting and rescinding should be your last resort, only happening if the department won't "play nice".

If you are very confident that the shelter would look after her well, it is not the worst option, since you've said they're a no-kill shelter. But you might be able to find a better local rescue, perhaps ones that specialize in senior cats or those with medical issues. Even if the shelter is no-kill, a cat with health problems may be there for a very long time. Some rescues have better environments than shelters.
However, given that you say that the issues may be behavioral, I would probably take her with me and see - it's my attitude that getting a pet is a commitment for life (but if you are unable to care for her, the responsible thing is to find somebody who can - I'm not trying to make you feel bad about this.) You can do some research in advance to verify that there are good local shelters/rescues that you could take her to in your new location if it is still needed.

If you keep her, I would recommend you sign up for some pet insurance. It is likely that you wouldn't be able to get any of this covered, if there's anything in her vet file showing this is "pre-existing", but you can avoid such high bills in the future. If there's nothing in her record, I suppose it is possible that pet insurance could cover much of this (there's no diagnosis yet, which might make a difference). You'd have to read the small print. If you're in the US, I've had good experiences with Healthy Paws.

If you are very confident that the shelter would look after her well, it is not the worst option, since you've said they're a no-kill shelter. But you might be able to find a better local rescue, perhaps ones that specialize in senior cats or those with medical issues. Even if the shelter is no-kill, a cat with health problems may be there for a very long time. Some rescues have better environments than shelters.
However, given that you say that the issues may be behavioral, I would probably take her with me and see - it's my attitude that getting a pet is a commitment for life (but if you are unable to care for her, the responsible thing is to find somebody who can - I'm not trying to make you feel bad about this.) You can do some research in advance to verify that there are good local shelters/rescues that you could take her to in your new location if it is still needed.

If you keep her, I would recommend you sign up for some pet insurance. It is likely that you wouldn't be able to get any of this covered, if there's anything in her vet file showing this is "pre-existing", but you can avoid such high bills in the future. If there's nothing in her record, I suppose it is possible that pet insurance could cover much of this (there's no diagnosis yet, which might make a difference). You'd have to read the small print. If you're in the US, I've had good experiences with Healthy Paws.

This is disgusting.
My normal position is that I usually advocate for the freedom for people to make their own choices and decisions that reflect their priorities and goals. The main reason I would stray from this position is if doing so would cause more harm than good. This is a case where I would make an exception to my normal position.
I would never accept these ridiculously exploitative labour conditions. Furthermore, I would not only make this choice for myself, but I would actively discourage anyone I knew from making such a decision. Doing so harms the entire academic labour workforce, in my opinion. 
The fact that this school has already put out this "job" ad only further strengthens my resolve that all academic labour should be unionized and protected. With a proper collective agreement, it should not be possible for the University to hire someone outside of the union to do union-protected work (i.e. if the school wants a worker to do faculty-like work, then they must confer the same benefits and protections to the worker as they would a faculty member, even if it's temporary). 

I was going to write a thoughtful long response, as someone who is active in advocating against gender discrimination in my field. I have a lot to say, both from personal experience and based on a large dataset I've collected along with a committee I'm active on showing bias in almost all aspects of a woman academic's life once she graduates from college. (Before you ask for the data, it's confidential and we're in the process of writing up a paper, so if you're *actually* curious, ask me about it in a few months.) I'm in a field where there are more women undergraduates and about as many graduate students as male students. But fewer women get onto shortlists for academic positions; in fact, even once on a short list, they are still less likely to get hired than a man on the same list; fewer women currently serve as faculty members; fewer women get chosen to present papers at conferences; fewer women have their papers published in peer-reviewed journals; fewer women get invited to contribute to handbook articles, which feature the top scholars in the field giving an overview of their main research topic(s); fewer women are invited speakers at conferences; fewer women get their work funded by government agencies. I could go on.
But this poster thinks that being a woman magically opens all doors for a candidate, from sample size N=1, and not even having a full picture of that particular one. To which all I can say is, Wow. 

It's definitely not as competitive as PhD applications in the US, but it's still not that easy to get into a top university in Canada, especially as an international student. GPA is weighed heavily, as are LORs, and research experience is a good way to make your application shine. I applied to some Canadian masters programs along with American PhD programs, and if I recall correctly, U of T told me they only accepted something like 10 international students that year. Also, FYI, the funding they offer is pretty bad for the cost of living in Toronto ($17,500 and tuition remission).

@Adelaide9216 If it is the norm for the organizations that are asking you, I see no problem with figuring out some kind of fee. Whether you base this fee on standard rate for motivational speakers (you may not see yourself as one, but they probably do) or simply based on the expenses you would incur to do this talk (including the time it takes to prepare the presentation, travel, housing, food, etc) or a mix somewhere between the two, is completely up to you. 
But, I would stress, do not sell yourself short. You are getting multiple requests a month to tell your story and the organizations are expecting there to be a fee involved. Your story matters. People want to hear it. You are valued. <3 

No. Between Google Scholar, faculty maintained websites, and departmental profiles, I had zero trouble finding folks in my area.
 
I would, but it is not clear what the supposed benefit to faculty would be. Now professors get to waste time with prospective students before students even apply? Yippee! Also, short of someone perfecting teleportation technology or offering free plane tickets, I do not see how you could offer a medium more conducive to building chemistry than phone conversations.
 
(a) Research openings (b) Skills needed (c) Type of support envisioned (short-term/MS, long-term PhD). You know, the stuff faculty already put in their vacancy announcements.
 
What @TakeruK said.
I also second @TakeruK's point that faculty would have almost no incentive to participate in this service.
The starting point for this venture should be conversations with faculty members or college/department representatives to identify what tools/processes would help them better sort through thousands of applications. I know that this is in fact a real problem. My old advisor once joked that she would have liked the department to attach OCIS codes to applicants. Honestly, I thought she was onto something.
Getting schools/faculty involved is the basically the whole ballgame. It is clear that you have not really looked at this scheme from their perspective. Be open to the idea that the solution to their problems is not a cell phone app.
 
 

Wait, doesn't this also depend on having professors allow you to have their profiles up on this website? Or are you going to data-mine without their permission? (In which case I'd find it invasive, and would think of it as a glorified RateMyProf type site..)

Got notified that I received two scholarships for my top choice PhD program. What a good email! 

Just got an acceptance letter from one of my PhD schools, and an invitation for an all expenses paid visit out to them!

Wait, all of that got "handled" with an official reprimand in the 11 hours since you posted this?
Or did you not mention any of the fact that this was currently under investigation by someone outside your department in any of your posts for some other reason?
It's really hard to give people good advice when they leave important things out, like the fact that you'd already reported this issue to someone outside your department and they were investigating the issue.

This is good advice. It's unfortunate that a lot of extra work falls to women, but the reality is that it does. It's incredibly helpful to train men to be allies. That is to say, those who say that they are but still don't see wrongdoing when it happens can be trained to see it by having it continuously pointed out to them, and they can be taught to speak up to correct the situation. I've done this with male colleagues and co-authors, and after a while it becomes second nature to them too. Did only men get invited to a panel? Does a syllabus only (/disproportionately) cite men? Do only men get named as examples of leading authors in X? Do men get more than their fair share of Q&As? And more from personal experience: a male co-author and I give a joint talk; all questions are addressed to him, including on things that are explicitly within my area of expertise; only he gets invited to present our joint work; only he gets emails with questions or asking for a copy of the work; people go up to him, sometimes going as far as to physically having their back to me, after the talk, to say "good job". It's easy for men not to notice a lot of this because some of it is subtle and some just doesn't happen when they're present, but when it's pointed out to them, it's clearly there. I've helped them draft replies to bring me back in to the conversation, phrase responses that point to me as the expert on X, etc. At this point, I don't even have to do it anymore. But it did take time and effort. This is harder to do with older men, but a lot of younger men are receptive to this issue. They can be incredibly helpful allies in this fight. 

Moderator note: It seems that this conversation has run its course. It is perhaps best to put this thread to rest at this point. 

Friend, you seem to be very confused about who we are and what this board is about.
First off, no one here is required to comply with any demands in order to engage in a conversation with any other poster ("first find this article, then provide that link, then we'll talk", which you seem to continuously use as a canned reply). Second, this is not a trial. We are not defense attorneys. We don't even know the person you've chosen to pick on. What we are is people with some experience, and we are sharing alternative ways of interpreting facts (and perceived facts) that you have presented. Just like you are entitled to your opinion that everyone has the worst intentions at heart without providing any proof, we are entitled to present alternative possible ways things could have happened.  This here is key: you just admitted that you have absolutely no standing, and you don't intend to follow up on any of your libelous claims. You've instead assumed the role of Defender of Academia. No one appointed you, and it seems to me that the people you claim to be fighting for aren't happy with what you're doing. Think about that.  To conclude, you appear to be nothing more than a keyboard warrior, and one who is trying to get others to do their work for them, at that. We've continuously replied to your made-up scenarios, and you've continuously replied with the same unaware response. It seems to me like we're just all wasting our time. 

"We."
I read your note. I don't believe you.
If you really cared about this issue as much as you'd like others to believe, you'd have filed a lawsuit against the professor, his department, his school, and the parent system. You'd have gone to the press. You'd have gone to all of the schools he's attended. You'd have identified former classmates and interviewed them for evidence of similar behavior. You'd be financing the effort with crowdfunding. And you would be using your true name when leveling allegations that could torpedo a guy's career.
If you really cared, you certainly would not be dithering around, parsing words, asking leading questions, tasking others to do your research for you, and arguing with anyone who dared to disagree with you.
My theory is that you were a student of his.  As a thief thinks everyone else is a thief, and a liar thinks everyone else is a liar; my theory is that you were caught doing something dishonest and/or he thought less of you and your work than you do. You got what you had coming to you. Did he take away your funding? Did he take your name off an article? Or maybe he just didn't nod his head vigorously and sit in awe of your brilliance. (One does not wonder why.) 
In retaliation you're conducting a whispering campaign that would be actionable under the California civil code--in a word, the word starts and ends with 'l'--were it not for your intellectual weakness and lack of will. You dress up the latter with self serving catechisms and the former by adopting a username you're unworthy to use.
Here, let's play your game. Unless you provide exhaustive and conclusive proof that the theory outlined above is untrue, then one can rightly assume that there's something to it. Next step is to make a mountain range out of mole hills while weaving a tapestry of self righteousness. 
TL/DR: Read more. Post less. You will find numerous threads started by members with actual courage. Notice the differences between the way you approach your issue and the way they address their problems. It's not even close.

I've been in touch with a reporter for the New York Times.  She says are doing a story specifically on this and to "stay tuned".  Once they publicize it, more news networks will pick it up and run with it.  

Yes, this is how I meant it. I don't mean to "flaunt" my score - as a math major, a good quant score really isn't much of an achievement. For others, it definitely is. I don't mean to devalue others scores, just to illustrate that people's circumstances are different, and that for some people it is not necessary or worthwhile to pay for prep services. It depends on how prepared you are already, your personal learning style (i.e. how easily can you teach yourself the stuff you don't know), and how you are prioritizing the different parts of your application.
 
I know that my post will ruffle feathers - I don't know how to express my point in a way that won't.
 
What it comes down to is that I disagree with the OP's tone of "I got a fantastic score, and thus I know exactly how everyone should study for the GRE. Moreover, if you don't do it my way, you're short sighted."

Frankly it just sounds like he's busy and under a lot of pressure, and isn't handling it terribly well. It's probably got nothing to do with you. I understand that you don't like his tone when he's in this mood, and I can imagine that I would be the same. So that much I think is justified. That said, people aren't always good at taking criticism in real time, and especially when they're under pressure. Sounds like your conversation just pushed his buttons at a time when he wasn't ready to listen. Just like in other types of relationships, there are people who want to work things out immediately as they happen, and there are people who need to calm down and think things over before they have a conversation about what happened. If he's the latter type of person, you insisting to hash things out when he is telling you to let  them go might cause this kind of blowback. I don't know you or him, but I think that it'd probably be best if you ease off and try to have this conversation again at a later time, hopefully when whatever is on his mind is over. 
Meh, I don't know what led up to this and what he meant exactly, but again, things that are said in the heat of the moment might be things we later regrets. You might also not be in the mood to interpret him generously, given your interaction. In any event, the fact that he would be okay with you working with someone else does *not* mean he doesn't respect you. I think that good professors should always be happy to have their students meet with other profs, and if a student ends up choosing to make someone else their primary advisor, a good professor can understand and accept that and not be offended. Unless he told you he is no longer interested in working with you, I'd avoid over-interpreting anything. 
Wait, there's a long time between qualifying exams and graduating. And usually an even longer time between graduating and no longer being dependent on one's advisor (as in, unless you get a job immediately out of grad school, you'll need LORs from him for a while longer). I don't think suffering from a non-functional relationship over years is advisable. For quals, I think you don't want to touch anything at this point. I guess there are practical questions about the track record of this person and the department, but unless you have some specific concerns, I'd just leave it and concentrate on prepping for the exam. After that, when it's time to concentrate on your dissertation, there are ways of gently rotating people off the committee or replacing the chair. But I think this may be entirely premature. This sounds like out of character behavior, so why don't you give your advisor the benefit of the doubt and trust that there may be outside Life factors (or Work factors) affecting him that have nothing to do with you. It's a shame that he's not better at handling it, but this can happen to anyone, and maybe at this point you should just wait a bit to see what happens. 

If it were me, I would go with option (2) in the sense of finishing the MA at the current institution, assuming that your advisor will still support you through it. At that point, I would leave and either get a job, or apply for a PhD at another institution. Doing that should allow you to have a stronger profile applying to a PhD, with the support of your current institution, as opposed to if you dropped out and reapplied this year, though in your case it also shouldn't be terribly hard to explain why you're switching. But I do think this would save you a year that I don't see why you'd want to spend starting over at this point. If you do leave academia, this MA should be good enough, and if you go into another PhD program, you'll be in a strong position to do so, although depending on your field and target programs, you may end up having to repeat some coursework (which I personally don't see as a huge minus, but some people do, so there you have it.) 
I would also take this as a learning experience and look for a place with *at least* two, preferably three, potential advisors. People retire, move institutions, get sick, etc. more frequently than you might think, and you really don't want your entire future to be in the hands of just one person. Any future program you consider should really have more breadth and more ability to support you. 
In any event, I don't think that continuing without any support makes sense, so (3) is out; I think (1) wastes a year right now, where as later that time could be put to better use; and (4) is a little premature, since it doesn't sound like you can make that decision now. That leaves (2) as the winner.