I is stressed *Non-Judgmental Space for PhD Applicants*

[gasmasque]

augh, I got 1 offer from a school whose advisor was described as "abrasive" and "blunt" and has reportedly made students cry in class. Then I'm waiting to hear back from one school. Needless to say, I'm really hoping the second school pulls through...

[philopsych]

Wake Forest told me I'd hear back this week...so tomorrow? Of course, someone also said they were offered an interview last week. Is tomorrow my rejection day?

[Psyhopeful]

38 minutes ago, gasmasque said:

augh, I got 1 offer from a school whose advisor was described as "abrasive" and "blunt" and has reportedly made students cry in class. Then I'm waiting to hear back from one school. Needless to say, I'm really hoping the second school pulls through...

While I’m neither of those things, I have been able to get along pretty well with people like this. I think it depends on your personality type. I also think blunt and abrasive is different from abusive or malicious. I’m just saying it might not be that bad. I like to consider the source and form my own opinions. Also, would you be forced to work with this person? Good luck on your other school!

[spookycat]

On 3/7/2019 at 8:53 PM, gasmasque said:

augh, I got 1 offer from a school whose advisor was described as "abrasive" and "blunt" and has reportedly made students cry in class. Then I'm waiting to hear back from one school. Needless to say, I'm really hoping the second school pulls through...

 

On 3/7/2019 at 9:38 PM, Psyhopeful said:

While I’m neither of those things, I have been able to get along pretty well with people like this. I think it depends on your personality type. I also think blunt and abrasive is different from abusive or malicious. I’m just saying it might not be that bad. I like to consider the source and form my own opinions. Also, would you be forced to work with this person? Good luck on your other school!

I agree with Psyhopeful that it definitely depends on your personality. On the one hand, if you think that you can handle someone who's very blunt about things, I think it won't be a huge issue - especially because to some extent, you can limit interactions with your advisor according to your own needs. Also important to note that in the graduate school process there are lots of reworks and revisions being made to projects/proposals/papers, and sometimes being blunt is better than someone sugar coating. (Note: that definitely does not mean it's easy to handle blunt critiques, and I could see how some people could get overwhelmed by that process). 

On the other hand, this is someone you'll be working with for years (at least 4 if you're talking about a clinical PhD). While you may be fully capable of handling this personality and taking harsh critiques, you have to decide if you want to put up with that. I interviewed with a faculty member who's behavior really rubbed me the wrong way, and I personally knew that I could not handle interacting with them periodically for the next 4-5 years of my life, especially because they would be the main resource for me whenever I had questions/issues. 

Hopefully things go well with the other school!  Good luck to you whatever you choose!

[researchfever]

**NON-JUDGEMENTAL SPACE**

please please please please, if you are holding multiple offers please let go of a couple. i still have hope of getting in this cycle from my waitlist. i feel like i'm in a hold and I can't make any plans yet because i don't have an offer yet.

 

I know that you earned the acceptances, and it's your right but please please consider letting go of some?

 

i also dont mean this in a rude way. i have a huge smile on my face and puppy dog eyes atm

 

Edited March 12, 2019 by researchfever

[dancedementia]

Still haven't heard back from my last school, but my hopes aren't high since it seems most acceptances went out last week. I've emailed my POI twice, the program assistant once, and the DCT once without response. I feel horrible continuing to pester them. I'm going to just assume I'm being ghosted so I can have some closure.

[philopsych]

16 hours ago, dancedementia said:

Still haven't heard back from my last school, but my hopes aren't high since it seems most acceptances went out last week. I've emailed my POI twice, the program assistant once, and the DCT once without response. I feel horrible continuing to pester them. I'm going to just assume I'm being ghosted so I can have some closure.

I feel ya. I only interviewed at one school and that was over a month ago. 8 days ago I emailed the director of graduate studies (that's who they told me to email if I had questions) and they haven't responded. I, too, need closure.

[pacogri]

On 3/6/2019 at 8:56 AM, imonfire98 said:

did you reach out to them?

Oops--I forgot to check my notifications. I haven't reached out because I'm t e r r i f i e d 

[brighteyes]

Uggggggh. I'm feeling so frustrated by this whole process. I applied to the master's program at my undergraduate institution (CSUS), and the deadline for letting us know is March 15th. No word. 

I finally got information about the master's program at CSULB, and it looks like I passed the university level check and am currently "under review" by the department. Face palm.

Literally NOTHING. NADA. NO RESPONSE. from UT-A. Portal still says "in review". I reached out to my POI about a month ago and got no response. I assume rejection, but I just want them to say it.

I was accepted into my 2nd choice school (which I am amazingly grateful for), but my 1st choice is still just completely MIA. No change in portal. Reached out to the grad coordinator and let them know that I was accepted into another program, but that they were my top choice on Monday, got a response back that they would check with the chair and respond back to me, and now silence for 2 full days. NOTHING.

This process is just terrible and super un-fun. 

[Clinpsyc01]

On 3/7/2019 at 9:53 PM, gasmasque said:

augh, I got 1 offer from a school whose advisor was described as "abrasive" and "blunt" and has reportedly made students cry in class. Then I'm waiting to hear back from one school. Needless to say, I'm really hoping the second school pulls through...

This is a late response, but I wanted to reply as someone working with an advisor who is widely descrived to be harsh and demanding. My experience has not matched others’ expectations, and I am happy with my choice.

Sometimes these descriptions are true, and there certainly are too many bad grad advisors out there. But sometimes students have a bad experience and spread rumours that are not necessarily accurate. It’s important to listen to what others in the lab say about him/her, but also consider how your interactions with this advisor felt and what you need from an advisor. Did you feel comfortable when speaking with them? Can you handle honest and sometimes critical feedback? Do you prefer to have a warm, fuzzy relationship with your advisor? 

[brighteyes]

1 hour ago, brighteyes said:

Uggggggh. I'm feeling so frustrated by this whole process. I applied to the master's program at my undergraduate institution (CSUS), and the deadline for letting us know is March 15th. No word. 

I finally got information about the master's program at CSULB, and it looks like I passed the university level check and am currently "under review" by the department. Face palm.

Literally NOTHING. NADA. NO RESPONSE. from UT-A. Portal still says "in review". I reached out to my POI about a month ago and got no response. I assume rejection, but I just want them to say it.

I was accepted into my 2nd choice school (which I am amazingly grateful for), but my 1st choice is still just completely MIA. No change in portal. Reached out to the grad coordinator and let them know that I was accepted into another program, but that they were my top choice on Monday, got a response back that they would check with the chair and respond back to me, and now silence for 2 full days. NOTHING.

This process is just terrible and super un-fun. 

So jk. Just literally got an email to check the portal at UT-A. Big fat denial. Wow, that's kind of a crappy way of telling people. Super callous!

[vallaboop]

AHHHHH. I have barely slept all week. Tomorrow marks 3 weeks since my interview and I haven't heard anything. I emailed POI the Monday after the interview and received a very nice response and she said "there is a bit of a process on this end that needs to happen but I will be in touch ASAP." There is no mention of other responses from the program on gradcafe anywhere and I was the only one to post on the results page about the interview. I feel completely in the dark and I AM SO STRESSED OUT. I know I can reach out via email but I am scared. I don't want to have to say "welp, there's always next year." This program is  PERFECT fit. The research the POI does matches me interests EXACTLY which I honestly never thought would happen. Plus it's semi local to where I currently live and to where my family and my SO family lives. With each passing day I feel my soul die a little more. 

I wish this was me:

[lmk94]

I got into my top choice nearly a month ago and I still feel the need to check this website because it really became part of my identity these past couple years lol (this was my third cycle applying). Sending all the good vibes to those of you still waiting; your day will come. Persistence is key! 

[gottagetthedata]

Yall. I'm a "very high alternate" at both schools I interviewed at. I'm so proud of myself for making it this far and to be so highly ranked on the waitlist but I. WANT. TO. GET. IN!!! This is my second year applying and I had no interviews last year (I pumped my GRE scores up this year).

 

It's so crazy to think that every day that passes could be the day that the people holding onto the offers decide, therefore initiating this acceptance domino effect.

 

If you're lucky enough to be sitting with multiple acceptances, godspeed! May your other acceptances look more enticing than the offers from the schools I'm waitlisted at ??

[impsyched6]

When you are waitlisted at your top choice and have no idea where you are on the waitlist, how do you resist the urge to beat yourself up over it?

Edited March 18, 2019 by impsyched6

[philopsych]

14 hours ago, impsyched6 said:

When you are waitlisted at your top choice and have no idea where you are on the waitlist, how do you resist the urge to beat yourself up over it?

I don't really have any advice, but I just wanted to say "solidarity!". My only opportunities right now are waitlists, so it's a pretty stressful time. We just have to keep practicing self-care and hope for the best! Good luck!

[Chasingthepsychdream19]

I am so anxious about being the waitlist at my dream school and do not know my rank...! I am about to e-mail the DCT and inquire about my ranking. I'm so nervous....how should I write this email? I'm overthinking everything 

[vallaboop]

Is it worth it to reach out to POI? It's been about 3 1/2 weeks since my interview and I haven't heard anything (one of the weeks was the schools spring break but I'm not sure how much that matters). I thought the interview went really well and my interactions with the POI felt very positive. However, there were 3 other people interviewing for the same spot and they all seem incredibly qualified (I Googled them, like an idiot). During the interview they said we would find out if we were rejected but if we were waitlisted we wouldn't know. I'm beginning to suspect I am waitlisted. Is it worth it to email and confirm? I don't know if that will make me feel better or not. On the one hand, I will know how the admissions process is progressing. On the other hand, if I'm waitlisted then I just still have to wait until the other person(s) make their decision about the offer. Which won't help how I'm feeling because I wasn't first choice and my future depends solely on someone else. However, if I am waitlisted I want to start working on ways to improve myself for next round. I'm not ready to give up on getting an opportunity to work with the POI. My interests aren't solely driven on getting into a program, they've become focused on working in this lab that is a 99.999999...% match with my research interests which I have not found in any other program. Honestly, I've been over analyzing EVERYTHING and I really just don't know what to do anymore. Help?  

[hlr20]

18 minutes ago, vallaboop said:

Is it worth it to reach out to POI? It's been about 3 1/2 weeks since my interview and I haven't heard anything (one of the weeks was the schools spring break but I'm not sure how much that matters). I thought the interview went really well and my interactions with the POI felt very positive. However, there were 3 other people interviewing for the same spot and they all seem incredibly qualified (I Googled them, like an idiot). During the interview they said we would find out if we were rejected but if we were waitlisted we wouldn't know. I'm beginning to suspect I am waitlisted. Is it worth it to email and confirm? I don't know if that will make me feel better or not. On the one hand, I will know how the admissions process is progressing. On the other hand, if I'm waitlisted then I just still have to wait until the other person(s) make their decision about the offer. Which won't help how I'm feeling because I wasn't first choice and my future depends solely on someone else. However, if I am waitlisted I want to start working on ways to improve myself for next round. I'm not ready to give up on getting an opportunity to work with the POI. My interests aren't solely driven on getting into a program, they've become focused on working in this lab that is a 99.999999...% match with my research interests which I have not found in any other program. Honestly, I've been over analyzing EVERYTHING and I really just don't know what to do anymore. Help?  

I think it is worth it to reach out. I would say it is safe to assume you are waitlisted but that doesn't mean you're rejected! I would just send an email politely asking about your status and if they could give you a timeline for an answer. 

A bit ago, I got the nerve up to ask a PI about my status (similar situation to yours), and she replied and told me she had sent out an offer to another applicant. But tbh, it was way better for me to know that information and know where I stand for sure than to be in a limbo state. 

[vallaboop]

Just now, hlr20 said:

I think it is worth it to reach out. I would say it is safe to assume you are waitlisted but that doesn't mean you're rejected! I would just send an email politely asking about your status and if they could give you a timeline for an answer. 

A bit ago, I got the nerve up to ask a PI about my status (similar situation to yours), and she replied and told me she had sent out an offer to another applicant. But tbh, it was way better for me to know that information and know where I stand for sure than to be in a limbo state. 

Thanks for your response! I would probably feel better but I'm scared  I just should suck it up and email. This process is honestly the worst. 

[hlr20]

3 minutes ago, vallaboop said:

Thanks for your response! I would probably feel better but I'm scared  I just should suck it up and email. This process is honestly the worst. 

It is just better for your mental health overall to know- I sent the email when I realized how much of my life was spent thinking about my application and analyzing everything I did at the interview. Wasn't healthy:) 

[vallaboop]

Just now, hlr20 said:

It is just better for your mental health overall to know- I sent the email when I realized how much of my life was spent thinking about my application and analyzing everything I did at the interview. Wasn't healthy:) 

That's exactly what I'm doing and I'm having trouble sleeping or focusing on other things. I took your advice and I just bit the bullet and sent an email. Now I feel like I'm going to throw up. ahaha ahh 

[GradPerson]

Has anyone noticed themselves becoming more stressed about everything as application season goes on? I know it's almost over but I've gotten a lot more anxious about practically everything (even unrelated to grad school or school in general) and it seems to have started around late november ?

Stress is unfun.

Edited March 20, 2019 by GradPerson

[clinpsyc112]

Hi all, so I interviewed at a school a few weeks ago. I thought the interview went pretty well, and my POI replied to my thank you email that we have a very strong overlap in interests and that the program would be in touch soon. I got an automated email from the program today informing me that I've been rejected. I'm a little surprised that the POI didn't reach out to me. Is this normal? 

[TheEternalGrad]

3 minutes ago, clinpsyc112 said:

Hi all, so I interviewed at a school a few weeks ago. I thought the interview went pretty well, and my POI replied to my thank you email that we have a very strong overlap in interests and that the program would be in touch soon. I got an automated email from the program today informing me that I've been rejected. I'm a little surprised that the POI didn't reach out to me. Is this normal? 

Hard for me to say, since I've only gotten one acceptance so far, but that program's POI didn't reach out to me personally to say I've been accepted. I heard from admissions. It probably depends on the program on whether or not POIs reach out to applicants to inform them of their status. I'm sorry you got rejected though, especially after hearing what seemed like a positive message from the POI. ☹️