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All of my remaining grad schools just emailed me! And I've just been accepted to all of them! I know, don't be jealous.

 

Well, in that case you can share. I'll attend one of them for you. We'll probably find a few people on here who are willing to do the same. The schools won't even notice, so bring it on... :P

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As people who know how to write and are well-versed in rhetoric and the concept of tone, I think it might be best if all of us really think about what we are trying to say and how we want to say it. These boards should act as a community where we build each other up and share our experiences, not speak to others (who we really don’t know) with a critical or condemning eye. We can start a thread for that, if certain individuals feel the need to point out everything that others are doing wrong.

 

Why don’t we all just try to keep it civil and friendly?

 

In the words of Troy Bolton from High School Musical, “We’re all in this together.” 

 

I don't think other people are really being uncivil--they're just trying to give everyone some perspective. If anything, saying something to the degree of "if people want to say the opposite of what I'm saying, they should start a different thread" is uncivil. 

 

I tend to agree with the people you seem to be condemning. What I mean is, while I certainly agree that this is a place to share anxieties, it does seem to be a little bit off-base to be so frantic at this point when it really is the beginning of the results season. So, I think it's okay to be anxious while waiting, but it does seem a bit silly to think "why aren't they getting back to us by now?!?!?!"....they aren't getting back to us because they aren't done yet. Usually mid-March is the time to really start having these feelings. 

 

Maybe because this is my third round of applications I'm feeling a bit different. Typically gradcafe turns me off because everyone is getting an acceptance and I'm not, but this time around it's turning me off because everyone is freaking out and it's still so early. I'm sure this is coming off as rude, but I do wish people would try to be a bit more rational at this point...

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Why does everyone care so much about others' opinions for/against freaking out. Everyone deals with stresses and anxieties in different ways. And I feel that both versions, the it's so early don't freak out, or the shit I'm so screwed, are both acceptable. Let's just let everyone process their emotions how they see fit. We're all adults and no one has the "right" approach!

Edited by andrewcycs
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Why does everyone care so much about others' opinions for/against freaking out. Everyone deals with stresses and anxieties in different ways. And I feel that both versions, the it's so early don't freak out, or the shit I'm so screwed, are both acceptable. Let's just let everyone process their emotions how they see fit. We're all adults and no one has the "right" approach!

 

You're right, and I agree even if it doesn't seem like I do. I understand the freaking out bit, because I am worried about not getting in anywhere also. But, what I don't get is people upset over the fact that they haven't heard anything yet--the departments might not be done yet and that's why they haven't gotten to you. They're not trying to be evil. It is also very early to be worried that you haven't received anything yet.

 

There is a distinction between being worried that you're not going to get in anywhere, and being upset over the fact that you haven't heard anything yet. It is relatively early in the process, so I think realizing that will help people calm their nerves. That's all I'm trying to say. 

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You speak truth! I know I could use a Xanax or two. Lol. I wish I could just put it all out of my mind until April and see how the cards fall. I am just an obsessive person when it comes to these things.

It'll be a really relaxing summer at least. :)

Edited by andrewcycs
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Why does everyone care so much about others' opinions for/against freaking out. Everyone deals with stresses and anxieties in different ways. And I feel that both versions, the it's so early don't freak out, or the shit I'm so screwed, are both acceptable. Let's just let everyone process their emotions how they see fit. We're all adults and no one has the "right" approach!

 

Andrewcycs, 

 

When my mentor advised me to stay off GradCafe this week (first in person and then via email when i didn’t listen. Though I make start to take him more seriously), he wrote this: “Veteran applicants who hang around on [GradCafe's] site tend to discourage and sometimes downright bully ‘virgin’ applicants. The ‘I’ve been here longer and therefore know better than you’ mentality runs rampant, as do the “It’s so hard out there than you may as well not even try...Trust me, I know. You’re better off...' conversations. These are the disillusioned, frustrated students who become the Rebecca Schumans of English departments. They feel it is their duty to educate you on protocol and will drive you about as crazy as the Results."

 

I’m starting to think this is true. At least some of it. I like a lot of the vets around here and I can see why they do it. I just don’t think it’s called for. It makes me feel like I’m a little child that people feel the need to pat on the head and someone to whom you must speak slowly. 

 

Edit: hit enter before I’d finished.

Edited by Kamisha
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I'm definitely not a veteran applicant.  This is my first time applying and my first season on GradCafe.  I posted several pages back that people shouldn't email departments this early, and I did so not because I'm wiser and more seasoned about grad school applications -- I'm, in fact, a newbie.  It's my advice because I think it's what one should do (or not do, as it were.)  

 

Also, I agree with this statement from Bunny: "There is a distinction between being worried that you're not going to get in anywhere, and being upset over the fact that you haven't heard anything yet."

 

That said, I think people should do what they want to do.  Not everyone has to approve of everyone else.  

 

I'll say, though, that as a teacher, when I tell my students on a Thursday afternoon that I'll have their papers back to them graded by the following Thursday, and they email me on the Tuesday in-between asking if I got to their paper yet and can I tell them what they got, it gets on my nerves.  It doesn't matter if they ask nicely and in only one or two sentences that is quick for me to read, and it doesn't matter if in their mind it will only take a moment for me to answer, and if I understand it's only because they are very worried about their grade -- it still bothers me that they can't just wait til the day that I said all the papers would be ready.  Even if I can take a moment out to email them individually, I'd rather they be willing to wait so that I can just pass back the papers all at once -- in what is my normal process.  When they ask me for their individual grade early, they're making me do extra work, and I already do way too much work for too little pay.  

 

I think I'm so attuned to this type of annoyance that I regularly have that I don't dare do anything even remotely similar to another college teacher or administrator.  I'm quite sure that some of grad department administrators are fine with it (maybe not all offices are as busy as others, and there may be one grad secretary who has answers at his/her fingertips while another has to pull a bunch of files and talk to ten million people before he or she can give you an answer), but my general thought would be that most of them are going to be a little bothered and/or just put out.  My general rule of thumb would be to, on Feb. 7th and thereabouts, give the departments some time.  

 

Even if I weren't gonna wait it out til mid-March before I started asking questions, I wouldn't *start* emailing on February 7th.  I'd hold out til at least the 20th through 25th, and more likely the latter.

Edited by purpleperson
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There's an acceptance from Pitt posted! Here's hoping I hear back from them...I worked hard in my statement of purpose to demonstrate how their Children's Lit program (which PhD students can take classes from) would be fascinating while also studying gender and sexuality in contemporary media.

 

Gahhhhhhhhh.

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Andrewcycs, 

 

When my mentor advised me to stay off GradCafe this week (first in person and then via email when i didn’t listen. Though I make start to take him more seriously), he wrote this: “Veteran applicants who hang around on [GradCafe's] site tend to discourage and sometimes downright bully ‘virgin’ applicants. The ‘I’ve been here longer and therefore know better than you’ mentality runs rampant, as do the “It’s so hard out there than you may as well not even try...Trust me, I know. You’re better off...' conversations. These are the disillusioned, frustrated students who become the Rebecca Schumans of English departments. They feel it is their duty to educate you on protocol and will drive you about as crazy as the Results."

 

I’m starting to think this is true. At least some of it. I like a lot of the vets around here and I can see why they do it. I just don’t think it’s called for. It makes me feel like I’m a little child that people feel the need to pat on the head and someone to whom you must speak slowly. 

 

Edit: hit enter before I’d finished.

 

It's a bummer that advice from people who have been around the block can be taken in that way, but I definitely understand how one's tone can come off differently than their intentions. I'm only trying to be helpful here. When I was straight outta undergrad (which I'm not sure if you are or not, but I'm not just speaking to you), I would have appreciated the help from others who had done this already.

 

You have to understand that for those of us who have applied, and know what it's like to be rejected, we've gained some perspective about our own worth and when and whether to freak out or not. I stand by what I say--early Feb. is too early to freak out. I don't see how that comes across as bullying or discouraging, as you've implied. 

 

I'm not disillusioned or frustrated. I'm happy to be seeking the path I am and I feel more prepared than I did in the past. I'm trying to help calm the anxiety that I think this website is exacerbating through comments like "why haven't they notified us yet?!?!" ....take it as you will, but I'm not trying to be patronizing. 

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I think I can speak on behalf of most to all of the veteran applicants around here when I say we didn't mean to bully you guys.  For me, personally, I apologize if I've been a pain.  I did this 3 and a half times, and really just wanted to try to be helpful.

 

As I said, I can only speak for myself, but I do know we have a great community around here, and that no one intended to hurt anyone's feelings.  We are people, and sometimes we help the wrong way, or say things in a way that come across differently than we mean them to.

 

But either way, sorry...

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There's an acceptance from Pitt posted! Here's hoping I hear back from them...I worked hard in my statement of purpose to demonstrate how their Children's Lit program (which PhD students can take classes from) would be fascinating while also studying gender and sexuality in contemporary media.

Gahhhhhhhhh.

I'm crossing my fingers with you on this one. Pitt is one of my top choices for sure.

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Yall need to stop this cyber bulling right now!! Jk!!

Im a first time applicant and first generation college student and a lot of the stuff i peruse and read on here has really helped a hell of a lot. So kudos to all da "vets" lol. Sometimes the truth hurts and it bothers ppl i guess.

Touche bunny! Great post and analogy!

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Also, does anyone know how rigid Texas is with their subject score minimum?

Fuck that stupid subject exam. That thing was such a pain in the ass. Literally, every professor Ive spoken too--even professors at institutions that require the exam--have talked down about it and refered to it as outdated. I cant speak for Texas because I did not apply, but I got accepeted into a program where the average subject exam score is in the 70th percentile. My score? 18th percentile.

Then again, the stuff I'd like to do is not covered in the least bit on the subject exam. Im sure if you were a Medievalist and you got the 18th percentile then that might work against you lol.

Keep ya chin up! Test scores dont define us. Ive never believed in tests and never will.

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Unless it's a new thing, I don't remember there being a strict subject score cut off for UT. Lord knows I, and a number of people I know, would have been screwed if there was!

Their website says anything below 650 is a cause for concern. In that case, I should not even worry about it because I'm very far off a 650

Fiz, I'm right there with you. Only applied to two schools that required it, and I'm seriously hoping they share the arbitrary view of it.

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Their website says anything below 650 is a cause for concern. In that case, I should not even worry about it because I'm very far off a 650

Fiz, I'm right there with you. Only applied to two schools that required it, and I'm seriously hoping they share the arbitrary view of it.

Generally my sub-field is exempt from the silly subject test- but I did notice some schools required it.

Gah!!!!! Why?

I'm all for knowing more - but hell, that shit is expensive

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To address the previous conversation, for what it's worth, "implied rejections" and the like are necessary and helpful to me. My fiancée is also applying to programs for psych, but her application dates are much later than mine. It saves us money if we can assume we won't be going to X city so she needn

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Bah, hit post early. Needn't apply, is the rest of that sentence. And then we can focus on having her applying to programs in the areas where I haven't heard back (or that I'll hopefully be getting accepted to).

Just another thought on the whole usefulness of grad cafe vs stress factor question.

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