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Venting Thread- Vent about anything.


MoJingly

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f*ck this noise. Spent the first part of the week in the hospital for the second time in two months. At least my apartment didn't burn down again so theres a silver-lining. Oh wait! But that grant application is still due on Friday! No way it's going to get funded now, but I still have to try. No data again in lab meeting because all hell has broken loose. I am tired of feeling like a broken failure. My arm really hurts from the IV. I'm so tired. 

 

I just want to get up to speed and stay there for a little bit....just make a little actual progress before I get knocked back down again. So hard to stay focused. 

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f*ck this noise. Spent the first part of the week in the hospital for the second time in two months. At least my apartment didn't burn down again so theres a silver-lining. Oh wait! But that grant application is still due on Friday! No way it's going to get funded now, but I still have to try. No data again in lab meeting because all hell has broken loose. I am tired of feeling like a broken failure. My arm really hurts from the IV. I'm so tired. 

 

I just want to get up to speed and stay there for a little bit....just make a little actual progress before I get knocked back down again. So hard to stay focused. 

feel better! I hope you are ok.  best of luck with everything. 

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Some of you are having really hard time of it. :( I hope you feel better glow_gene, and things turn around for you cosmojo.

 

My vent which isn't even on the same level:

 

I made pizza for dinner... But I dropped it on the floor before I could even cut it. I'm not totally opposed to floor pizza, but I haven't wiped my floors in a long time, and it landed toppings-side down. I'm mostly mad because I don't have enough money to be dropping my food on the floor and not eating it.

 

Also, this was mentioned before, but I'm seriously getting irritated by the SLP folks using the results search as a forum and asking questions and discussing schools there. There's a very active SLP sub-forum with lots of discussion. Stop clogging up the results search. :angry:

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Being a poor international student, it's kinda frustrating to realize relatively late that you'd still have to apply for OPT to work any minimum wage job before your program starts. Well, at least I got something to look forward to in the Fall I suppose.

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My PI's are out of town. They have yet to tell me what experiments I'm supposed to run this week. I honestly think they forgot. I've emailed them twice but no response. I sat at my desk in lab watching the first season of House of Cards. I'm going bat shit crazy in lab. I want experiments to run :angry:

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This coworker of mine was like, "Oh I don't have to pay any rent because my parents owe the house off XXXX street, and they pay for my health insurance, car insurance and I'm still under my parents' phone coverage. I use all my stipends on food and fun stuff". 

 

and I was like, ".............aren't you like, almost 30?"

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Lucky!  My parents will pay for my phone once I'm in school, and my mom will give me $10 a week to eat out with friends, and my dad will give me $20 a week to tell him how research is going, and I think that is pretty cool.  My parents gave me 3 months of free rent after I graduated, and after that I had to pay them rent to live in their house.

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After working directly in the field for a few years, barely making ends meat, but then apparently going for a professional degree, and continuing onto a PhD means I'm a professional student. Nevermind that my schooling is all in the same field, I'm still working three career-focused part-time jobs, and that I've had an end career goal in mind. Nevermind that I've paid my own bills, on my own, for about 7 years now. Nope, coming out of school at 33 years old means that I'm a mooch. Thanks mom.

Edited by psychkita
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I'm going to get a C in my statistics class because I can't understand SAS. I should feel more guilty about it, but I will never use SAS again in my life; everything in my field is in R. I get high B-A grades on the exams, and I obviously understand the actual statistics; but because I can't get SAS on my macbook and have to try to cram ~10 hours of SAS homework into the 2 hours I can get to the library, I have a near 0% grade on my statistics homework. It's going to negatively impact applications for fellowships, etc., but beyond that, I don't see it having any negative impact on my life. So, IDGAF.

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I got rejected for one fellowship, and waitlisted for another in the past two days. I'm still on a waitlist for my top choice school, and have been since January. Plus I have the kind of personality where I really like having things in my life planned and organized months, even years, ahead of time so all the uncertainty these past few weeks combined with the approaching April 15th deadline has been wreaking havoc on my stress levels. My body decided a great way to deal with the stress was to give me pimples like a 16 year old.

Edited by moochie
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My boyfriend's birthday conflicts with my alumni tournament at my undergrad, that I've literally been planning on going to for a year. I feel SO guilty because none of his friends from out of town can do anything, and he hasn't made any friends here. :(

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Ugh! Volunteer organization problems.  One girl takes over and has a grand plan about how we are going to do this one thing.  She has a lot of grand plans, but never carries them out.  I tell her that this is not a puppy that she can give up when it gets older and uninteresting. (Not that I would ever do that to a puppy either)  She says that she will make sure she is there to see it through.  A few months later, and she "needs a break"  even though she hasn't been there in weeks.  I hate unreliable people.  I'm the one working crazy hours, having something or other happen to me every week and yet I'm still there when I say I will be, dammit!!  Now, should I remind her that she said she was going to be reliable, or just let it go?  It pisses me off.  People not doing what they say they will do is a pet peeve of mine, especially when they are in positions of leadership.

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I feel sheepish even posting this here, but it seems 99% certain that I'm getting rejected from all the summer research positions I applied to, and my home lab won't be running studies over the summer.

People I know keep telling me "oh, I just have a feeling one of those last places will hire you, there's no way they won't!", or "oh, that happened to me in my freshman year, but then I was able to get into *x,y,z undergrad programs later* and I'll have 3 years of experience by graduation, so things work out! .....You're a freshman right?" and it makes me want to deck them. I know not every successful person in academia was a shining star in undergrad, but oh my god this is going to be such a gaping-hole-in-my-resume of a summer  :(

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I'm going to get a C in my statistics class because I can't understand SAS. I should feel more guilty about it, but I will never use SAS again in my life; everything in my field is in R. I get high B-A grades on the exams, and I obviously understand the actual statistics; but because I can't get SAS on my macbook and have to try to cram ~10 hours of SAS homework into the 2 hours I can get to the library, I have a near 0% grade on my statistics homework. It's going to negatively impact applications for fellowships, etc., but beyond that, I don't see it having any negative impact on my life. So, IDGAF.

I feel some of your pain. My biostatistics class was supposed to be taught using R, but the professor decided SAS was a better idea. I'm doing fine in the class because I understand programming (used to be a computer science major), but a lot of people are struggling. Aside from the fact that I will never use SAS again, the class is also teaching the most basic stats ever. I haven't learned anything that I didn't already learn as an undergrad. But I've vented about that already. I just hope that when I take stat classes in my PhD program I don't have to sit through a semester of review.

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I just emailed the first school I applied to (December 1st deadline) to ask if they have a timeline for notifying us about decisions. And the reply was that we would know sometime next week.... And this isn't even the wait list-- this is for the first round of admits/rejects.

Do they really want people to make this huge choice in the 4 days before the deadline?

I get that things are hectic but are they really gonna take 4 months to make their decision and give their admits less than a week?

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I've been writing 1000+ words per day this week for a paper draft due tomorrow. My brain feels like it's been replaced by a sea slug that does nothing but eat and defecate, and I haven't done any of the regular reading or worked on my summer funding proposal because it's as much as I can do to just work on the paper. I desperately just want to go back to bed and sleep for a week, but it's more likely that I will be up until the wee hours finishing the draft and catching up on all of the other work due tomorrow. This has been my hardest week of grad school so far, bar none. 

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I feel some of your pain. My biostatistics class was supposed to be taught using R, but the professor decided SAS was a better idea. I'm doing fine in the class because I understand programming (used to be a computer science major), but a lot of people are struggling. Aside from the fact that I will never use SAS again, the class is also teaching the most basic stats ever. I haven't learned anything that I didn't already learn as an undergrad. But I've vented about that already. I just hope that when I take stat classes in my PhD program I don't have to sit through a semester of review.

 

This is my situation, except it's stats I've never seen and I suck at SAS> XD

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I've been writing 1000+ words per day this week for a paper draft due tomorrow. My brain feels like it's been replaced by a sea slug that does nothing but eat and defecate, and I haven't done any of the regular reading or worked on my summer funding proposal because it's as much as I can do to just work on the paper. I desperately just want to go back to bed and sleep for a week, but it's more likely that I will be up until the wee hours finishing the draft and catching up on all of the other work due tomorrow. This has been my hardest week of grad school so far, bar none.

That sea slug analogy is on point.

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I've been writing 1000+ words per day this week for a paper draft due tomorrow. My brain feels like it's been replaced by a sea slug that does nothing but eat and defecate, and I haven't done any of the regular reading or worked on my summer funding proposal because it's as much as I can do to just work on the paper. I desperately just want to go back to bed and sleep for a week, but it's more likely that I will be up until the wee hours finishing the draft and catching up on all of the other work due tomorrow. This has been my hardest week of grad school so far, bar none. 

 

These weeks suck. Just existing one day at a time, finishing everything for tomorrow or the day after. Always reminds me of Office Space, where the main character tells the shrink that every day of his life is worse than the previous day. 

 

Just stick to it, long term goals may be impossible to see at the moment, but finishing the short term objectives counts for quite a lot.

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Despite having 5 years of rental history and good credit, the apartment I like the most (from online viewings/pictures/location) requires a co-signer on the lease because I'm a student (granted, a 27 y/o grad student who's had a stable job for 4 years). Asked my mom & stepdad who said "No" and wouldn't budge. I've never had an issue w/ paying rent even when I was a less-than-responsible undergrad. They got burned by both of my older siblings by co-signing either on loans so I kinda get it, but ugggghhhhhhh. Stinks.

 

I'm nervous to ask my dad because he's always been a little more tight on financials, but I've never ever asked him for help like this before. I've leaned on my mom & stepdad but always paid them back as soon as I could. I plan to pay my fall semester months (Aug - Dec) upfront and the same for spring, so maybe that will swing the landlord a bit. I don't know. I'm visiting in a couple weeks and will get to meet the landlord & property mgmt company in person, so we'll see. 

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Despite having 5 years of rental history and good credit, the apartment I like the most (from online viewings/pictures/location) requires a co-signer on the lease because I'm a student (granted, a 27 y/o grad student who's had a stable job for 4 years). Asked my mom & stepdad who said "No" and wouldn't budge. I've never had an issue w/ paying rent even when I was a less-than-responsible undergrad. They got burned by both of my older siblings by co-signing either on loans so I kinda get it, but ugggghhhhhhh. Stinks.

 

I'm nervous to ask my dad because he's always been a little more tight on financials, but I've never ever asked him for help like this before. I've leaned on my mom & stepdad but always paid them back as soon as I could. I plan to pay my fall semester months (Aug - Dec) upfront and the same for spring, so maybe that will swing the landlord a bit. I don't know. I'm visiting in a couple weeks and will get to meet the landlord & property mgmt company in person, so we'll see. 

I understand your frustration.  You did point out that you were a grad student and not an undergrad, right? 

When I was trying to discuss apartments over the phone (I moved across the country), I got some really nasty responses.  Renters don't seem to trust people that they aren't talking to in person.  I even put an offer on an apartment, and they refused it so they could allow someone who was viewing the next week decide first!  *grumble*  I mean...I kind of understand, but that didn't make it any less frustrating.  Hope you have better luck when you're there in person!

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Ugh, tell me about it! I understand getting burned by other students, but I'm grad student. Being a grad student is basically a job, so why are you lumping me with the undergrads? An apartment complex wanted 6 month's rent up front because I was a student on a monthly stipend. That would've been worth it if they were closer to my school, but they're not. Besides, I don't have money like that. I just hope as I get closer to my August move in date, I can find better places.

TL;Dr, I understand your pain greatly. Let's hope it works out in the end. :)

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