Panicsville State of the Union - Transmission 001

[unræd]

6 hours ago, bumbleblu said:

Who knew being accepted would trigger such Imposter Syndrome?? Ugh.

Being admitted to a program is just the first step on the Imposter Syndrome journey!

[M(allthevowels)H]

11 hours ago, Wooshkuh said:

23 was so long ago. Anyone else in the nearly 30 club? 

Nearly 29 here. IT IS THE CHILDREN WHO ARE WRONG!

[renea]

A few months ago prior to actually doing any work, but right after a few successful networking experiences with future programs

oh yes, I am amazing. Everyone wants me in their program. I am such hot shit. I'm going to be the next *insert your preferred scholarly powerhouse.* I can't wait until February. I bet I'll get recruited. I'm going to have schools fighting over me. I'm going to negotiate a fellowship. I'm going to ask for a tech budget...yes...new laptop for me. Time to start on my SOP where I'll dazzle everyone with my fresh takes on rhetorriiicccccc. 

Seconds after submitting my final application

So I guess this is it. My interests don't make sense, my work is not unique. I don't have any publications and my CV is pathetic. No hope left now. Why did I just waste all this money. What do you even do with just an MA? Work at a community college? Or I guess I could *shudders* work as a social media manager? I'll need to learn to build websites or something. Time to get my, why you should hire writing majors pitch ready. I guess I could be a stay at home dog mom. My husband can support me on a grad stipend, right? 

The real me feels fairly anxious but hopeful and optimistic. I regularly give myself motivational speeches about working hard and knowing my worth, but this crappy version of myself is in the back of my head telling me that there is high potential that I won't get in anywhere. It's not true, I know it's not true, but it's a possibility and that possibility is going to haunt me until that first acceptance gets here.

The worst part is that my remaining programs do not usually notify until late February or early March, so I've got a ways to go. 

[unicornsarereal]

Yeah I'm not really hearing from most until mid to late February/March but still willing to start thinking about who may be releasing decisions tomorrow!

[clinamen]

6 minutes ago, unicornsarereal said:

Yeah I'm not really hearing from most until mid to late February/March but still willing to start thinking about who may be releasing decisions tomorrow!

Boston College maybe?? 

[mk-8]

10 hours ago, renea said:

A few months ago prior to actually doing any work, but right after a few successful networking experiences with future programs

oh yes, I am amazing. Everyone wants me in their program. I am such hot shit. I'm going to be the next *insert your preferred scholarly powerhouse.* I can't wait until February. I bet I'll get recruited. I'm going to have schools fighting over me. I'm going to negotiate a fellowship. I'm going to ask for a tech budget...yes...new laptop for me. Time to start on my SOP where I'll dazzle everyone with my fresh takes on rhetorriiicccccc. 

Seconds after submitting my final application

So I guess this is it. My interests don't make sense, my work is not unique. I don't have any publications and my CV is pathetic. No hope left now. Why did I just waste all this money. What do you even do with just an MA? Work at a community college? Or I guess I could *shudders* work as a social media manager? I'll need to learn to build websites or something. Time to get my, why you should hire writing majors pitch ready. I guess I could be a stay at home dog mom. My husband can support me on a grad stipend, right? 

The real me feels fairly anxious but hopeful and optimistic. I regularly give myself motivational speeches about working hard and knowing my worth, but this crappy version of myself is in the back of my head telling me that there is high potential that I won't get in anywhere. It's not true, I know it's not true, but it's a possibility and that possibility is going to haunt me until that first acceptance gets here.

The worst part is that my remaining programs do not usually notify until late February or early March, so I've got a ways to go. 

This speaks to my soul and was 100% the same way that I felt, lol.

[CanadianEnglish]

When I (finally) completed all my applications, I definitely wasn't in an anxious mode. Just continued on with my life. Then, I discovered this website. Best/worst decision. This is all I do now. 

My anxiety levels skyrocket when I see someone posting about getting an early acceptance, already hearing about rejections or any info from the schools that I've applied to . But then, I get so happy and calm when I see people posting that they got into their dream schools, or are just so excited about the program they got into. It's definitely a mixed feeling. I just hope I get into one school.

Good luck to everyone out there!

Also, I'm part of the 22-year-old club... whoops 

Edited January 29, 2018 by canadianchartrand

[Ufffdaaa]

@canadianchartrand I saw that you are a UND grad. Go Bison!

Edited January 29, 2018 by Wooshkuh

[CanadianEnglish]

3 minutes ago, Wooshkuh said:

@canadianchartrand I saw that you are a UND grad. Go Bison!

Oofda. Can I say go Bison athletics, but go Hawks (Sioux forever) academics?

[Tober]

21 hours ago, youngim said:

This forum can be anxiety-inducing and extremely addictive. I keep telling myself that moderation is key, but that's really hard to do. Hang in there @Tober !!

Thanks @youngim, you too! 

[Tober]

17 hours ago, renea said:

A few months ago prior to actually doing any work, but right after a few successful networking experiences with future programs

oh yes, I am amazing. Everyone wants me in their program. I am such hot shit. I'm going to be the next *insert your preferred scholarly powerhouse.* I can't wait until February. I bet I'll get recruited. I'm going to have schools fighting over me. I'm going to negotiate a fellowship. I'm going to ask for a tech budget...yes...new laptop for me. Time to start on my SOP where I'll dazzle everyone with my fresh takes on rhetorriiicccccc. 

Seconds after submitting my final application

So I guess this is it. My interests don't make sense, my work is not unique. I don't have any publications and my CV is pathetic. No hope left now. Why did I just waste all this money. What do you even do with just an MA? Work at a community college? Or I guess I could *shudders* work as a social media manager? I'll need to learn to build websites or something. Time to get my, why you should hire writing majors pitch ready. I guess I could be a stay at home dog mom. My husband can support me on a grad stipend, right? 

@renea too real for me haha

[JustPoesieAlong]

On 1/27/2018 at 11:42 PM, Wooshkuh said:

23 was so long ago. Anyone else in the nearly 30 club? 

Howdy. Checking in to say I'm a ripe 29. But I'm definitely older at heart. 

[renea]

4 hours ago, Tober said:

@renea too real for me haha

 

12 hours ago, mk-8 said:

This speaks to my soul and was 100% the same way that I felt, lol.

Glad it's not just me 

[punctilious]

22 hours ago, renea said:

Or I guess I could *shudders* work as a social media manager? I'll need to learn to build websites or something.

Whoa there, there's nothing wrong with that! *says the graphic designer on the communications team of a non-profit*

I'm just kidding, it's a path that you have to enjoy and want to do. It's very different than getting an English PhD. I've tried to get my husband to help me write copy on occasion. The skills are just not quite the same haha.

[mozartjamesjoycesodomy]

hello hello, admittedly i've been lurking around the lit/rhet/comp page since the summer and have now been on autopilot refreshing the results page for the last several days -- i'm also a member of the 22 club though still an undergrad, (i wouldve started kindergarten earlier if i had the choice) and am now in the extreme panic state. what i was wondering was that in the case that i do bat an impressive 0 for 11 on acceptances, what is there to do, in terms of postgrad options, that's fulfilling but also a useful CV addition if i should hope to reapply next season? it's a bit early to be thinking about this, but i've definitely put all my eggs (and savings) on the current admissions cycle

[E. Coronaria]

On 1/27/2018 at 11:57 PM, WildeThing said:

Why are you all so young? Is that why you have acceptances? 

I’m 23. I finished my MA just as I turned 22. Shut out last year & I don’t have any acceptances this round either. 

[la_mod]

13 minutes ago, mozartjamesjoycesodomy said:

hello hello, admittedly i've been lurking around the lit/rhet/comp page since the summer and have now been on autopilot refreshing the results page for the last several days -- i'm also a member of the 22 club though still an undergrad, (i wouldve started kindergarten earlier if i had the choice) and am now in the extreme panic state. what i was wondering was that in the case that i do bat an impressive 0 for 11 on acceptances, what is there to do, in terms of postgrad options, that's fulfilling but also a useful CV addition if i should hope to reapply next season? it's a bit early to be thinking about this, but i've definitely put all my eggs (and savings) on the current admissions cycle

I am wary to give advice, as I was shut out last year and haven’t received any good news. 

The advice I got was to do what I’ve done:

1. Attend a conference

2. Get a publication

3. If possible, work in something somewhat academic (I’m employed by my university’s research foundation)

4. Edit the heck out of everything 

5. Cross your fingers and reapply

Hopefully it works! 

EDIT: I also hope that you get in, but if you don’t, it could be *because* of your age? I graduated a year early, so I was 20 when applying (I’m 21 now), and a few of my professors told me that a PhD program would be hesitant to invest 6 years into someone so “fresh.” Although I know this is what I want, I also understand that 20 year-olds tend to change their minds a bit more than someone who has an MA and a few years of work experience.

Edited January 29, 2018 by la_mod

[a_sort_of_fractious_angel]

27 minutes ago, mozartjamesjoycesodomy said:

hello hello, admittedly i've been lurking around the lit/rhet/comp page since the summer and have now been on autopilot refreshing the results page for the last several days -- i'm also a member of the 22 club though still an undergrad, (i wouldve started kindergarten earlier if i had the choice) and am now in the extreme panic state. what i was wondering was that in the case that i do bat an impressive 0 for 11 on acceptances, what is there to do, in terms of postgrad options, that's fulfilling but also a useful CV addition if i should hope to reapply next season? it's a bit early to be thinking about this, but i've definitely put all my eggs (and savings) on the current admissions cycle

I received no PhD offers when I applied as a BA and I was 0/12 when I applied again as an MA. After graduating the MA, I took a 9-5 gig doing social media marketing and a full year off before coming back to applying. The job has done nothing for my application but it gave me enough money and enough time/flexibility to polish the heck out of my SOP and WS (and get some money saved.) The year off gave me time to think about what I wanted my scholarship to be/resulted in those SOP & WS edits. It's paid off so far. 

A conference may be useful for you - I wouldn't worry too much about publishing (I was consistently told it was not an expectation and that publishing just to publish wasn't necessarily the best call) - and if a conference doesn't make sense financially/professionally, I wouldn't be super concerned.

If you have friends or peers who are in graduate work now, I would speak to them; ask them to look at your SOP and WS. Current grad students are really useful since they are not far out from the process and my peers from school and GC have been really helpful in shaping this season's materials. Speak to profs too, of course, but a broad network of people + time + self & peer editing of the SOP & WS are probably the most valuable resources for applications. 

Just my $.02 of course (others here will have different and other awesome pieces of advice, so these threads may help too!)

 

Edited January 29, 2018 by a_sort_of_fractious_angel

[JustPoesieAlong]

21 minutes ago, a_sort_of_fractious_angel said:

A conference may be useful for you - I wouldn't worry too much about publishing (I was consistently told it was not an expectation and that publishing just to publish wasn't necessarily the best call) - and if a conference doesn't make sense financially/professionally, I wouldn't be super concerned.

To follow up on this, I was told to consider conferences at this point to be mostly for my own benefit (i.e., professional development, an opportunity to see how it's done, etc.) and less so as something that makes me a better candidate for a PhD. As for publishing at this point, I have been told emphatically by experience faculty not to worry about publishing at this point. It may be a different story in different fields, but for the most part publishing in Literature at least is expected only after you've had the chance to hone your skills and your research through graduate study. The only exception to this that I've heard is among those who disagree as to whether or not PhDs should be working toward a publishable dissertation.

[Yanaka]

On 28/01/2018 at 11:57 AM, unræd said:

Being admitted to a program is just the first step on the Imposter Syndrome journey!

SO TRUE. I've gone from "wowza I feel so validated!" to "but my cohort is so much smarter than me." in a few hours today. And I'm friggin scared! Ugh.

[senorbrightside]

I feel ancient at 36 after reading this :-/ 

[unicornsarereal]

11 hours ago, Yanaka said:

SO TRUE. I've gone from "wowza I feel so validated!" to "but my cohort is so much smarter than me." in a few hours today. And I'm friggin scared! Ugh.

I think everyone feels this, except for the terribly egotistical people we don't want to be friends with.

[Yanaka]

15 minutes ago, senorbrightside said:

I feel ancient at 36 after reading this :-/ 

You’re just missing an “i” in your pseudonym for senior!

7 minutes ago, unicornsarereal said:

I think everyone feels this, except for the terribly egotistical people we don't want to be friends with.

Aahhh you’re right. 

[mads47]

I know there is some talk of age on this thread, so I want to pose a concern I've been thinking about this past week. I am 22 and rather young-looking for that. If I teach a course next year, which at this point, seems likely, I'll be teaching students only a year a two younger than me. Does anyone have experience being in a similar situation or advice on how to assert authority over people who would be my peers outside of academia?

[la_mod]

1 hour ago, mads47 said:

I know there is some talk of age on this thread, so I want to pose a concern I've been thinking about this past week. I am 22 and rather young-looking for that. If I teach a course next year, which at this point, seems likely, I'll be teaching students only a year a two younger than me. Does anyone have experience being in a similar situation or advice on how to assert authority over people who would be my peers outside of academia?

No advice from me, as I’m 21 and in a similar position. You’re not alone, friend!

(My plan is to dress super professionally. My one woman mentor once suggested that that’s the best way for women to project their authority)