Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[Linelei]

I think its better than receiving an acceptance from a school and getting asked "Why would you want to live there?"

 

That's what I keep getting! What the heck, people!? I'm pretty sure I can brave LA traffic in order to go to an awesome program. Not to mention its proximity to the beach, Hollywood, Disneyland, San Diego, and a ton of fun things right there in the city.

 

I've secretly renamed everyone who says something like this to Wet Blanket, Negative Nancy, or Jealous Joe.

 

I may start throwing in a Covetous Constance or two.

Edited February 4, 2013 by Linelei

[Darth.Vegan]

My aunt and uncle are retired professors/higher ed administrators (not in my field).  Every time I tell my aunt about any good news from a program, she says "Oh, that's a very good school, but it's not as good as [Other school I haven't heard from yet]." 

 

 

That's pretty rough, wow. 

[viggosloof28]

"If you get accepted, you should go to (insert lower ranked school in a large metro area) instead of (higher ranked school in a small college town). I'd much rather take a trip to (large metro area)." Of course! Let me decide my future based on fun vacations for you!

Ha!  My dad is awesome at this.  He thinks I should go to school somewhere where he can come visit me and go cross-counry skiing.  WTH?!

 

I've secretly renamed everyone who says something like this to Wet Blanket, Negative Nancy, or Jealous Joe.

 

I may start throwing in a Covetous Constance or two.

Ha ha!  That's kind of great...I may have to start doing this, myself.

[RubyBright]

Ha!  My dad is awesome at this.  He thinks I should go to school somewhere where he can come visit me and go cross-counry skiing.  WTH?!

 

Viggosloof, that is hilarious. Thanks for the laugh. My mother just wants me to go to an unfunded local master's program, instead of going to an out-of-state fully funded PhD. I feel like your dad wanting to go cross-country skiing is a better school-choosing reason!

[Angua]

That's pretty rough, wow. 

 

Yeah...

 

The most frustrating part for me is that her "ranking" doesn't take into account: (1) How schools are actually ranked in my field; (2) The fact that all of the schools I applied to are pretty similar in terms of overall "prestige" (though they may not have been 20 years ago, when she was in academia); and (3) my decision's likely to be based on, you know, more than "prestige."  Sigh.

[olayak]

"Are you trying to avoid the real world?"  (because academia is sooooo easy, right?!  grrr!)

 

"Do you really need ANOTHER degree?".  (it's not about the number of degrees!  it's about doing what you love!)

 

I also hate "you're so smart, I'm sure you'll get in".  Maybe I missed it, but nowhere on the applications did it ask for my IQ.  

 

and "You're very qualified, of course they'll want you".  Guess what, no publications (yet) means my application is at the bottom of the pile.

Edited February 4, 2013 by olayak

[Darth.Vegan]

Yeah...

 

The most frustrating part for me is that her "ranking" doesn't take into account: (1) How schools are actually ranked in my field; (2) The fact that all of the schools I applied to are pretty similar in terms of overall "prestige" (though they may not have been 20 years ago, when she was in academia); and (3) my decision's likely to be based on, you know, more than "prestige."  Sigh.

 

My partner applied to sociology programs to. When she told this dude at her work with a PhD in marine sciences that she applied to UNC for sociology (a top 5 program), he said why? UVA and various xyz Ivy League schools are better, when she explained when they actually aren't better ranked in sociology specifically, he just brushed it off. Annoying. 

[jperry4uall]

"Why don't you just stay here and go to UF?" or "You're applying out-of-state?"

"How are you going to pay for it?"

"How many languages do you speak?" (If they don't know me well and hear "linguistics" - everyone who knows me well has heard the linguistics spiel)

"What about [my boyfriend]?"

Ugh, I get the same thing from my family about linguistics and UF. The worst part is that I'm currently here and have a great rapport with the faculty, but it's not a good fit for what I want to do.

[bedmas]

The absolute worst is "Stop worrying, you'll get in, you're smart." 1) Stop invalidating my feelings, and 2) yeah, everyone else is smart too.

 

One of my friends yesterday was like "I don't know what you're worried about. As long as you're willing to pay their stupid tuition, don't you go?" I put on my pokerface and told her that's not really how it works.

[pears]

bedmas: at least you have the patience to pull off a pokerface! my reactions are starting to look more and more like grumpy cat's every day...

 

them: "why would you want to go there? i mean, it's a state school. you're smarter than that. why not just go to (insert hyper-competitive ivy program here) instead?"

 

me:

 

Edited February 5, 2013 by pears

[Quigley]

 

them: "why would you want to go there? i mean, it's a state school. you're smarter than that. why not just go to (insert hyper-competitive ivy program here) instead?"

 

I've heard this plenty.

More often, however, on the rare occasion that I tell someone I applied to Harvard and Stanford, they usually kind of nod their head slowly and say "oh..." -- Except a few days ago, when a friend of mine blurted, without hesitation "you're not getting in there!"

I think I made her feel pretty crappy about it when I gave her the "Yes, I know it's incredibly competitive but I also know that I'm smart enough to try" routine that I stole from someone on one of these threads.

[HigherEd2013]

"Don't you have to teach first? I'm pretty sure that's what you need to do." Nope..there really is more to education than K-12 teaching...

 

And my favorite:

Me: Dad, I got in!

Dad: That's great! If you go there, is that a back way into their PhD program?

Me: *Sigh* No, I just want my master's!

Dad: Oh *Disappointed*

[Quigley]

Ouch.

[RubyBright]

Grumpy cat should be our mascot, actually.

[pears]

RubyBright, i have nothing to say..just this to show.

 

ps: to heck with it, this is TOTALLY my new avatar.

Edited February 6, 2013 by pears

[RubyBright]

ALL HAIL!

[Linelei]

Hahaha! I like where this thread has gone.

 

Here's a conversation I've been repeating lately:

 

Other person: "How is the grad school thing going?"

Me: "Great! I got accepted at X University!"

Other: "So you're going there?"

Me: "Maybe. I still haven't heard from my other top choice, Y Private School, yet."

Other: "Oh, isn't that a better school? You should go there."

 

 

Let me explain precisely what is wrong with this...

a. I JUST told you I haven't heard from them. So if I don't get accepted there, you've now made it clear the school I WILL be attending isn't as great, in your mind (which is flat-out wrong, FYI).

b. There is a whole lot more to grad programs than a general public feeling of how good schools are. For example, Y Private School doesn't have as strong a program for what I want to do, although it has other strengths.

c. I spent countless hours searching through research databases and then school websites and then lab pages. After narrowing it down, I contacted profs and built relationships. Finally I forked out money and jumped through all the application hoops for both schools. Would I have done all that if I didn't think both were feasible options for my education?

 

Done ranting now.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Linelei

[Soleil ت]

"But how are you going to survive without authentic Mexican food?"

 

Oh right.  On second thought, I should probably decline all incoming offers from the midwest.

[GodelEscher]

Me: "I got an interview!"

Family: " For a job?"

Me: "No for grad school!"

Family: "Oh...."  

 

*seriously I only talk about it everyday*

 

"Where did you apply?"

"all over, to like 15 schools"

"uh, why so many?" - BECAUSE IT IS COMPETITIVE!!!!

 

"I got an interview at Univ. of North Dakota!!!!"

*ugly face* "what is in North Dakota, isn't it cold there?"

"A flippin awesome PhD program for counseling psychology"

 

"So what are you up to?"

"Applying to phd programs"

" Isn't that a lot of work?"

LOL

 

 

I have given up on telling people my updates because everyone is a debbie downer or just don't "get it"

 

My fav- "So what programs are you applying to?" "Counseling psychology" "Oh, so you want to read minds?"

 

....huh?

Edited February 6, 2013 by ApexKnowledge

[Soleil ت]

Oh, I got this one last weekend:

 

Them: Why didn't you apply to Brown?

Me: Considered it, but their research interests weren't well aligned with my own.  It's too competitive to risk.

Them: But you probably would have gotten in pretty easily if you just pointed out that your last name is Brown and then pretend like you are a great, great, great, great, great granddaughter of the person it was named after.

Me: Wow... Great idea.  But not sure it works that way!

[RubyBright]

My fav- "So what programs are you applying to?" "Counseling psychology" "Oh, so you want to read minds?"

 

....huh?

 

I tend to get blank looks when I say, "Human Factors," which is often followed by either a.) them changing the subject, b.) them staring blankly before asking what that is, or c.) them pretending they know what it is, which can lead to unintended hilarity on their parts.

[veggiez]

"Where did you apply?"

"all over, to like 15 schools"

"uh, why so many?" - BECAUSE IT IS COMPETITIVE!!!!

 

My fav- "So what programs are you applying to?" "Counseling psychology" "Oh, so you want to read minds?"

 

....huh?

These two things! My responses to where I am applying are always just like yours, "uh they're all over the country, even some in Canada. I applied to 11 schools and if I name them all you won't remember them anyway," and people just respond, "oh...wow...ok..."

Also I am applying to cognitive and developmental psychology programs and I still get crap like that about reading minds. Most people are like, "oh you want to be a therapist? I have a lot of problems, so you can help me." But no, I have no interest in being a therapist, that is not all psychology is. Gah

[Angua]

Hahaha! I like where this thread has gone.

 

Here's a conversation I've been repeating lately:

 

Other person: "How is the grad school thing going?"

Me: "Great! I got accepted at X University!"

Other: "So you're going there?"

Me: "Maybe. I still haven't heard from my other top choice, Y Private School, yet."

Other: "Oh, isn't that a better school? You should go there."

 

 

Let me explain precisely what is wrong with this...

a. I JUST told you I haven't heard from them. So if I don't get accepted there, you've now made it clear the school I WILL be attending isn't as great, in your mind (which is flat-out wrong, FYI).

b. There is a whole lot more to grad programs than a general public feeling of how good schools are. For example, Y Private School doesn't have as strong a program for what I want to do, although it has other strengths.

c. I spent countless hours searching through research databases and then school websites and then lab pages. After narrowing it down, I contacted profs and built relationships. Finally I forked out money and jumped through all the application hoops for both schools. Would I have done all that if I didn't think both were feasible options for my education?

 

Done ranting now.

 

Yes.  I have had variations of this conversation so. many. times.  For me, I can't even say for sure that I haven't heard from my top choice, because I honestly didn't have strong favorites when I applied. So my version goes:

 

Them: Any news?

Me: I got into University of X!

Them: That's great, you'll love it in Cityville!  Where are you going to live?

Me: Erm, yeah, I've heard it's great there.  I still have a while before I make a decision, though.

Them: Oh. [confusion] So it's not your top choice?

Me: Well, I really don't know yet.

Them: Oh. [confusion] How many places are you waiting to hear back from?

Me: About 15. [grumpy cat face]

[blueasyou]

This thread is awesome.

 

My friend's response to me being wait listed at my top choice, and feeling like I wasn't going to get in anywhere:

"Well, at least you tried, that's more than most people can say." 

 

I only applied to 4 places, all really competitive, no safe schools. I was wait listed at one, and two I haven't heard from. When I got an interview offer at the other, I was so excited, and sent a group text message to my family sharing the good news.

 

It went something like this:

 

Me: I got invited to interview at X University! So excited!

Bro: Have you heard from Y yet?

Mom: I vote Z!

Bro: Y has lots of beautiful women...just saying.

Mom: My guess is they'll all want you and you'll get to take your pick.

Bro: The Y women or the schools?

Mom: The schools, but maybe the women too!

Sis: I vote for W (wait listed school) so you can be close to me!

 

....

 

Too bad my family's votes mean nothing to the schools, right? How about some excitement about X? Lol. It's a really good school and my only option at the moment, though I could still be rejected post interview.

 

And though beautiful women is a plus, it's not really what I'm looking for in a grad school. Heh. I should also mention that I'm female, so it makes this conversation even more funny.

Edited February 6, 2013 by blueasyou

[lypiphera]

"DON'T DO IT!"

 

This is the response I got when I asked a grad student friend of mine if he had any advice about going to graduate school.