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Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school


Clou12

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My father after my first rejection from Princeton: "I thought you pay application fee and you're in" :rolleyes: . 

My dad keeps saying "well if you don't get in anywhere, you can come home and go to school here." I have explained to him a million times that the location has nothing to do with why I don't get in. Any school in my home state would be just as difficult. He seems to think that if I live at home, they will just decide not to fund me and so if it isn't a funding issue, it's no longer competitive.

Also my mom on the phone the other day, "Well I don't know why Stanford wouldn't accept you. What do they want that you don't have?" 

Oh I don't know, how about 10,000 publications and conference presentations, on top of constant research experience since I was a freshman?

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My dad keeps saying "well if you don't get in anywhere, you can come home and go to school here." I have explained to him a million times that the location has nothing to do with why I don't get in. Any school in my home state would be just as difficult. He seems to think that if I live at home, they will just decide not to fund me and so if it isn't a funding issue, it's no longer competitive.
If it were only that simple...
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I, too, am sick of having to justify "why" I'm applying to grad school.  I'm an attorney now, so people ask me why I'd want to torture myself with years of grad school when I have a decent job already.  Ugh.

 

But, after working in a job that is definitely not for me, I can say to you all:  if you have a chance to do what will make you happy, do it.  Ignore the haters!  Lol :)

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So true.  My dad's always asking why I didn't go into the hard sciences ("you're smart enough and they pay so well"), when all I'm doing is what I actually WANT and LOVE to do.  I thought that was supposed to be every parent's dream for their kids?

 

i know! i hate it when peop

 

Psych is probably one of the few things getting me through the waiting.

 

My co-workers ( who are also applying to grad school/law school so they should know better) 

 

1. Don't worry you'll get in, its not like English is a competitive field like History. 

 

2. Why are you applying to that school, its in the middle of nowhere don't you want to go somewhere cool like Miami?

 

 

- I found the first one odd, because I've never had someone tell me English wasn't competitive but History is. I've heard that English isn't competitive but _____ hard science is. 

 

i know the second one! i did my BA in a in-the-middle-of-nowhere state school where i learned and grew so much as a person. I still love my school and have no regret at all. 

 

but for some reason my knows-it-all aunt thought the location of my school was the reason why i couldn't get a rich husband or a high paying job (I actually had a decent PR job that pays well but i hated it so much so i quit and decided to go back to school)

 

when she finds out i was applying to PhD programs, she called and told my mom, "tell her not to go to a small town again!" 

 

my mom just went #palmface  

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Yeah...I get that one a lot. Particularly in Computer Science because industry jobs are plentiful. I finished my undergrad last year, and took a job as a research assistant at a university, turning down 3 industry jobs in the process (one of which offered 35k per year more than what I'm making now). Honestly, I have absolutely no regrets about this decision. I LOVE my job now. But people find it so difficult to understand why I would ever turn down a high paying job at a good company, and then take even more of a paycut to go to graduate school. 

 

i think we need a t-shirt that says, "If I want it, I'd have done it already."

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My grandmother simply cannot understand why I have not applied to a Ph.D. program at one of the two (small-ish, private) universities in my hometown.

 

"Because, Grandma, they don't offer the program I intend to study."

 

"Well, you should write them a letter and tell them they should have that program for you."

 

"Yes, I'll get right on that."

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 "Are you sure you want to live there?"

 

After being accepted to a top school, in California of all places. Not like it's Nebraska or something! ....No offense to any Nebraskans out there, but that would make a lot more sense to me as a general comment. :)

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"Scared of getting a real job, huh?"

"Why are you applying there? Doesn't [insert name of completely random local/regional school] have a good program?"

 

Sorry I misclicked. lol. The first one is just beyond the level..

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"So if you get accepted to X University, are you going to really consider going there?"

 

Because...I really paid applications fees, got recommendations, and struggled over a perfect SOP for schools that I really have no intention of attending. :mellow:

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So let me preface this by saying I told my dad my plans for grad school 10+ times including sending both my preliminary lists and final list of schools/programs I was applying to.

Upon notifying him of my first fully funded acceptance to a PhD program he says:

 

 

We are very proud of you!  Back to one of your favorite towns, perhaps. Are you waiting until you get other replies or have you made up your mind?  

Sociology, huh?  One time you were envisioning law-school;   Not anymore? Anyway, whatever you choose you will do very well, I'm sure of it.

 


I know he was trying to be nice, but I find that really irritating. Sociology was always the plan, but for a few months 3 years ago, I considered doing a joint program and getting a JD at the same time. 

Edited by xdarthveganx
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After I have gotten 2/5 acceptances, "So do you know where you are going to go?"

 

Oh yes because I am going to choose before I hear back from over half of the schools and before I visit any of them. 

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This wasn't something spoken to me, but I was watching a figure skating show, and while one of the competitors was waiting 2 minutes maximum for her results, the announcer says: 

 

The wait is always the hardest. 

 

Naturally, I started taunting the screen about how hard waiting two minutes for results must be. Much harder than waiting over a month to hear anything from universities! 

 

My mother keeps unnerving me by sayng, "Well, hopefully it will all work out and you'll get in somewhere if that's what you really want." Yeah, because I've been obsessing over these applications because I've decided that being a secretary (her suggestion if I don't get in), is what I really want out of life. 

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After receiving a rejection from a school:   "Well, who wants to live there anyway?"
Idk, I kinda appreciate the sentiment. Certainly it's better than something like, "wow, that sucks, it would have been so awesome for you to move there. But you can come visit us, since we're moving there without you." Yes?
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"If you get accepted, you should go to (insert lower ranked school in a large metro area) instead of (higher ranked school in a small college town). I'd much rather take a trip to (large metro area)." Of course! Let me decide my future based on fun vacations for you!

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"If you get accepted, you should go to (insert lower ranked school in a large metro area) instead of (higher ranked school in a small college town). I'd much rather take a trip to (large metro area)." Of course! Let me decide my future based on fun vacations for you!

 

Ugh I'm sick of some of my friends treating my grad school decision like picking through so many travel brochures!

Edited by 33andathirdRPM
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My aunt and uncle are retired professors/higher ed administrators (not in my field).  Every time I tell my aunt about any good news from a program, she says "Oh, that's a very good school, but it's not as good as [Other school I haven't heard from yet]." 

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Ugh I'm sick of some of my friends treating my grad school decision like picking through so many travel brochures!

Ha! Exactly! I also have a few friends who keep saying (straight faced) "well, if you move to ______ or ______, how will your friends visit? You should go to ______ because it's only an 8 hour drive for us and it'd be really fun to visit there."

Logical order of priorities for school selection:

1. Ease and cost for back-home friends to come visit/go out for drinks once per year.

2. Quality and strengths of program.

3. Best possible training, advisors, and research opportunities for career in academics.

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I think its better than receiving an acceptance from a school and getting asked "Why would you want to live there?"

I hear that one all the time regarding all of the northern/mid west schools I've applied to. smh

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