Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[stereopticons]

9 minutes ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Regarding venting about the results section, whenever I see someone post a rejection and bad mouth the program in their comment, I immediately assume the program dodged a bullet. 

Yep. Just saw one for a program I applied to, and it's like, well, I'm glad you won't be in my cohort.

[Cheshire_Cat]

3 hours ago, Charlsa said:

I forgot my mother's birthday entirely yesterday and had planned to clean up the house, get her a gift, and make dinner after lunch. Until I slipped on the icy sidewalk outside the restaurant and popped my knee out (very briefly--it slipped right back in to place). Now i'm sitting with it elevated in a brace with heat, but doubt I can get everything done by 5. Do I drop cleaning the kitchen or buying a gift?

Ouch!!!  That sounds painful... buy something on Amazon and pretend it took longer to get to her than you expected

[Charlsa]

It's all good. I rested for a few hours and walked carefully with a brace to get her gift from a local place. The house is still a wreck but she's happy.

[8BitJourney]

7 hours ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Regarding venting about the results section, whenever I see someone post a rejection and bad mouth the program in their comment, I immediately assume the program dodged a bullet. 

I really don't understand why people do this? Unless the program does something egregious (i.e accept applications then tells people it won't be accepting students that year) its pretty unprofessional. How are they going to react under supervision or if a client insults them? No one is guaranteed a spot and there is always an applicant with better credentials that you out there

Not gonna lie though, there's a lot of red on the results page and it makes me a little nervous/annoyed that programs won't update portals but eh, c'est la vie. On a more important note is that I need to wash my hair and plan outfits but I have the flu and just want to cocoon myself. burrito burrito XD

[stereopticons]

Feel better @8BitJourney!

[shadowclaw]

Today was another reminder that social anxiety never really goes away. I came to school at the usual time for my morning class, but instead of there being lots of open parking spots in the lot I'm permitted for (like there usually is), every single spot was filled. About 12 other vehicles were searching the lot like vultures. I get so annoyed when this happens. The school hosts various conferences and meetings, and they always let the public park in my lot, including buses which will take up 4+ parking spaces because they park sideways. In my year and a half here, they have only made an announcement about one of these events once. Today was not that day. Anyway, after driving around the lot for 5 - 10 minutes, I decided to head over to the crappy gravel parking lot which anyone with any permit can park in. It's far away from everything, but there were spots. There's a bus stop right by the lot, but the bus went by as I was parking. So I walk to my usual parking lot to catch a bus there, but I just miss it. So eventually a bus comes and it's exactly when class starts. I'm hoping the bus will get up to my building quickly, but no. There were people at every stop along the way and it took forever. So when I finally get to the building, I'm already 10 minutes late. 

Up until this point, I was fine with walking in late. But then I thought about the layout of the room and how everyone sits towards the back and close to the door. If I went in, I'd essentially have to ask everyone in one of the rows to move their chairs in so I can get to the other side of the room. It would be a huge distraction. After thinking about this, I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I resisted the urge to vomit, but I just stood there outside the building staring at it, trying to reason with my brain that being late is better than not being there at all, that a few seconds of making people move wasn't so horrible, that other people are often late to class and no one says anything to them. But no, my brain was having none of it. So after about 5 minutes of standing there like a weirdo, I turned and headed for the library. Sigh. I feel quite bad about myself now. I'm supposed to have this under control. Granted, I didn't vomit or cry and I don't have the shakes, but I still let it get the best of me.

[Pitangus]

22 hours ago, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Regarding venting about the results section, whenever I see someone post a rejection and bad mouth the program in their comment, I immediately assume the program dodged a bullet. 

I realize people get frustrated and are just venting that frustration through the relative safety of internet anonymity, but yes, I always roll my eyes a bit at comments such as "Didn't want to go there anyways." Really? So you wasted money and effort (both yours and your letter writers') by applying to a program that you didn't want to attend in the first place? If true, that doesn't speak too well of your decision-making and resource-allocation skills. 

[avflinsch]

My phone keeps buzzing - but no final result yet.

A little background -
I am a full time employee of the university, currently in a master's program, and applying to the PhD program (which requires said master's degree for admission)
10 days ago - got email from POI - interview request, which went very well.

3 days ago  - email from department admissions coordinator asking about funding request (this is a good sign, I figured I made it to the next barrier)

 - she was a bit confused, thought I had full tuition funding from the university as an employee benefit. I needed to explain my percentage went from 100 to 50% (crappy pay increase pushed me to the 50% level last year, but the increase was not enough to make up the difference between 50 & 100%, so the raise actually costs me money).

 - with each email exchange the cc: list kept growing (poi, department head, dean) - ok, so raise my anxiety level a bit

 - last email ' we will be making a decision soon' - i figure this is good news, just be calm and wait it out

 - today I was in meetings all day long, my phone keeps buzzing with emails from the department (and other university administrative departments), does everyone else know and are they just trying ratchet my anxiety level up until my head explodes, or is it just s busy day for some reason? Most of the emails were something I should not have been copied on in the first place.

 

 

[8BitJourney]

On ‎1‎/‎30‎/‎2017 at 11:37 PM, stereopticons said:

Feel better @8BitJourney!

Thanks @stereopticons! This random weather is causing some pretty bad flu outbreaks. So if you come up north just be careful and use hand sanitizer etc. But they build us tough where I come from so I'll be right as rain in a day or so ^-^

[stereopticons]

2 hours ago, 8BitJourney said:

Thanks @stereopticons! This random weather is causing some pretty bad flu outbreaks. So if you come up north just be careful and use hand sanitizer etc. But they build us tough where I come from so I'll be right as rain in a day or so ^-^

Crap, I'm headed to Rochester in a few days. Will make sure I am stocked up on hand sanitizer!

[Avalanched]

It's February now. Will all the schools *please* just put me out of my waiting-misery NOW?

[cmykrgb]

This is probably just jealousy working but it's getting on my nerves. There's this one guy in the same major as me, who I view as equal or even less qualified than me, who got into one of the top neuroscience program in the country today. (This is just my feelings from past conversations with him, I do not know his stats. Could be a lot better than mine), while I got my 8th official rejection emails. This is very discouraging and although I have nothing against this guy other than that I feel I am just as qualified, it's still a bad feeling. I have one and only one interview coming up and there is no reason to believe I will get anymore in this cycle. It is stressing me out because it is do or die for me. I would say I have lived a pretty successful life so far, did my undergrad from an ivy, has a decent job, and not in debt thanks to my parents. (I recognized I am extremely privileged compared to a lot of people), but now I have this constant fear of losing everything people perceived me as. I am afraid other people who saw my success before find out that I am a failure at the core. (end rant) 

Edit: I know my problem sounds trivial (I mean it is), but this is my feeling and they are just as real as everyone's

Edited February 2, 2017 by cmykrgb

[stereopticons]

18 minutes ago, cmykrgb said:

This is probably just jealousy working but it's getting on my nerves. There's this one guy in the same major as me, who I view as equal or even less qualified than me, who got into one of the top neuroscience program in the country today. (This is just my feelings from past conversations with him, I do not know his stats. Could be a lot better than mine), while I got my 8th official rejection emails. This is very discouraging and although I have nothing against this guy other than that I feel I am just as qualified, it's still a bad feeling. I have one and only one interview coming up and there is no reason to believe I will get anymore in this cycle. It is stressing me out because it is do or die for me. I would say I have lived a pretty successful life so far, did my undergrad from an ivy, has a decent job, and not in debt thanks to my parents. (I recognized I am extremely privileged compared to a lot of people), but now I have this constant fear of losing everything people perceived me as. I am afraid other people who saw my success before find out that I am a failure at the core. (end rant) 

Edit: I know my problem sounds trivial (I mean it is), but this is my feeling and they are just as real as everyone's

I can identify with this. When I was in my masters program, everyone in my cohort got into their PhD program of choice except me and it was incredibly hard. It's not really trivial. You've clearly worked hard for it and rejection is hard even without the social comparison. Hang in there, though. Focus on your interview. It's not over yet. 

[cmykrgb]

@stereopticons thank you, I appreciate your kindness for recognizing my effort. The rational side of me is dealing very well with all the rejections. I still got a job and I know I will always come back as a stronger applicant. I just need to switch the rational me on more often.

[The Shade King]

On 1/30/2017 at 3:23 PM, GreenEyedTrombonist said:

Regarding venting about the results section, whenever I see someone post a rejection and bad mouth the program in their comment, I immediately assume the program dodged a bullet. 

 

I have noticed it being so horrible, don't remember it being this bad last year. Some of the comments are horrible but the kicker is, faculty know about this page and folks are not stupid. they can put 1 and 1 together many times. It also doesn't do anything for you in the long run. Also I have always had a bit of hard science envy but the hard sciences folks are way more neurotic than the humanities and social sciences by far. Those comments and questioning people admissions rather than going to their section just drives me a little crazy.

[RazaXo]

I'm sitting, waiting, wishing for UCLA and UW Seattle to say something and put me out of this misery. 

This whole grad app process has gotten me anxious, stressed, and constipated. I guess just the fact that everything is out of my hands now drives me to the edge. 

Merp. 

[magicsana]

York and UofT acceptances have started going out and my file is still "no decision yet". Gonna stress this entire weekend. It's 1AM and i wanna sleep. *cries

[BlueNahlchee]

Every time I see a new email, my mind is racing, only to find that it's another promotion email that came from a local museum I visited only once (I've been on an unsubscribing email spree from these promotional/spam emails since fall 2016). 

[shadowclaw]

I am really, really pissed off right now.

There are a number of fellowships offered by the graduate school in which each program eligible for it can nominate one student for it. There is one fellowship in particular that I was interested in that is for STEM graduate students, and while it isn't the most lucrative fellowship, I would be set for next year if I received it. Most departments sent out an email about this fellowship and others back in December asking faculty to nominate students. My advisor got this email through her home department (I'm in an interdisciplinary program and don't have a true home department) and asked me if I met the requirements, etc. and I said yes. However, the head of my program hadn't sent out the nomination requests yet. I sent the head an email inquiring about it, and she replied back that she didn't send out an email yet because she was expecting more applications over the holiday and wanted to give those students an opportunity to compete for fellowships. However, she would be sending out the request and if more than one student was nominated by the faculty, she would put together a committee to review each student's fellowship application package (statement, CV, letters of recommendation, transcript) and decide who ranked the highest.

Fast forward to now. I had been thinking about the fellowship and knew the due date was approaching sometime in February, but I wasn't sure exactly when nominations were due to the graduate school. I wrote my statement, spruced up my CV, and had my co-advisors write me letters. Everything was ready and we were just waited for that email request so we could send my materials along. The day before the deadline (and technically less than 24 hours before the deadline), I get an email from the head saying that an incoming student was nominated by their advisor and she was going to submit that student as the nomination for the fellowship, but if I was interested in a specific other fellowship, she would nominate me for that (the other fellowship wasn't even a true fellowship - it was more like a cash bonus and you would have to have another source of funding because it was so small). To top that off, I got a second email that was a group email saying that multiple students were interested in this other fellowship, so if we want to be considered, let her know before the end of the day so she could decide who among us would be nominated.

While I am pissed that I'm missing out on a potential fellowship, what I'm really pissed off about is that my program head basically lied to me in the original email. There was no committee to review the nomination packages like she claimed there'd be. There was no objectivity of any sort. I know exactly what happened. She's obsessed with growing our program and has been focusing the program's financial resources towards new students. So since a new applicant was nominated by a faculty member, she probably decided just to nominate them for the fellowship so that if they won, they would almost certainly decide to come here. Plus since she waits until the last minute for everything, she probably didn't have time for a committee to review everything. It's also not the first time that she's gone back on her word. The graduate school offers travel awards and every term one student per program can receive funding. There's a window each term for requests to come in, and my program head has promised to notify us every term when requests are due to her and that she'll objectively decide on who gets funding.  The one time I requested funding, she told me that the week before someone sent her a request and she didn't think anyone else wanted money, so she already submitted their request to the graduate school (even though the request window was still open). It really makes me wish I could move into a different program... I probably could, but seeing as I'm almost halfway through...

[Karou]

Breaking news: I'm still really bitter about the Canadian winter. 

[AnUglyBoringNerd]

I just want to vent about how rejections have made me so upset about everything. I'm supposed to be a supportive force to my significant other who's at the last stage of finishing PhD and is under lots of pressure....But I just can't conjure up a smile and say both of our academic career will work out just fine. And I can't help but letting him know how upset I am because of all the rejections. Then after sharing another piece of bad news I feel like I've let the person I care so much about down again... T-T It sometimes feels like that we are a pair of wolfs but despite all the effort I still cannot hunt on my own so the other wolf has to bring meat back every time....

(I am ever so grateful for having someone so patient with me...ugh, for what reason do I deserve this... )

[nevermind]

I'm just venting that it's been a rough term for me. My adviser recommended that I take one more class than everybody else in my cohort is taking (I'm on a fellowship) + a language class...plus one class (a core requirement) is NOT what it was advertised to be (a theory class) and then another class (an independent study) that the professor is having me "re-read" books because he doesn't feel like I grasp the concepts enough the first time I read them which makes me feel like an idiot. I've been working 12-14 hour days, 7 days a week to handle everything and I just want to feel like I'm doing a decent job, instead of doing everything half-assed in order to meet the deadlines. That's all. 

[rheya19]

On 1/31/2017 at 1:11 PM, shadowclaw said:

Today was another reminder that social anxiety never really goes away. I came to school at the usual time for my morning class, but instead of there being lots of open parking spots in the lot I'm permitted for (like there usually is), every single spot was filled. About 12 other vehicles were searching the lot like vultures. I get so annoyed when this happens. The school hosts various conferences and meetings, and they always let the public park in my lot, including buses which will take up 4+ parking spaces because they park sideways. In my year and a half here, they have only made an announcement about one of these events once. Today was not that day. Anyway, after driving around the lot for 5 - 10 minutes, I decided to head over to the crappy gravel parking lot which anyone with any permit can park in. It's far away from everything, but there were spots. There's a bus stop right by the lot, but the bus went by as I was parking. So I walk to my usual parking lot to catch a bus there, but I just miss it. So eventually a bus comes and it's exactly when class starts. I'm hoping the bus will get up to my building quickly, but no. There were people at every stop along the way and it took forever. So when I finally get to the building, I'm already 10 minutes late. 

Up until this point, I was fine with walking in late. But then I thought about the layout of the room and how everyone sits towards the back and close to the door. If I went in, I'd essentially have to ask everyone in one of the rows to move their chairs in so I can get to the other side of the room. It would be a huge distraction. After thinking about this, I suddenly felt a wave of anxiety wash over me. I resisted the urge to vomit, but I just stood there outside the building staring at it, trying to reason with my brain that being late is better than not being there at all, that a few seconds of making people move wasn't so horrible, that other people are often late to class and no one says anything to them. But no, my brain was having none of it. So after about 5 minutes of standing there like a weirdo, I turned and headed for the library. Sigh. I feel quite bad about myself now. I'm supposed to have this under control. Granted, I didn't vomit or cry and I don't have the shakes, but I still let it get the best of me.

From someone else with anxiety: be kind to yourself. 

[Pitangus]

Encountering the next stage of catch-22: successful applicants to postdoc positions are already in postdoc positions.

[avflinsch]

Snow day yesterday, university offices closed 9am-5pm - good I didn't need to go to work.
Classes however, resumed at 4:30, which means that I did need to go to my 6:20 class.