Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[RubyBright]

The only people I don't mind telling me that they think I have a good chance of getting in are the current grad students. The trauma is still recent in their minds, so I figure they see my chances more clearly.

[BuddingScholar]

Hey BrazilianBuddy!!  Have you heard from Yale?  How do you know that they are looking at apps?

thanks!

 

Sorry, abilap, I just now saw your message.  I have a website and everytime someone checks it, I know where the visitor was (citywise) when s/he accessed it, among other things.  I have had my website for over 3 years now, and I don't think I have ever had anyone from Princeton, New Haven, Durham, Cambridge, etc visiting it before, let alone spending more than two minutes there.  If nothing else, at least I know that some of them are taking the time to review my app, in some cases actually, I can tell which ones are not spending even 4 seconds on my website (Michigan, for example).

[toby42]

"Buuuuttt... Isn't that a Catholic School?" (ND)

 

or

 

Them: "So what are you going for?"

 

Me: "Because I don't have anything better to do."

[hiroshiman]

"What's musicology?"

[BuddingScholar]

Background: my partner is a successful [veeery highly educated] medical doctor and I am only now finishing my undergrad.

 

"There is no question that you will be accepted by at least four schools, but I have the feeling that you will get in your top choice program," my partner says constantly.

 

I want to shoot myself everytime I hear that.  I keep wondering how I am going to break the news, when I am rejected across the board, that I am an utter failure and not smart like him.

[tiarabun]

Seeing your post made me think of a report I heard on NPR a week or so ago. It was really interesting and saddening at the same time: http://www.theworld.org/2013/01/china-leftover-women:/ Good for you for standing up for yourself.

At any rate, it bugs me when people say "You'll probably get into all of the schools you applied to, you're the smartest person I know." Well, thanks but I think there are probably a lot of smarter students out there applying for the same spot I am.

Yup I know that term "leftover" unfortunately.

No one who has never gone through the application process is going to understand the competitiveness. Every school is like Ivy League undergrad tough, or tougher in terms of acceptance.

I keep telling them the minimum requirements alone already eliminate like 90% of the population. Only I have barely made them, despite me being the most book-smart in the clan. im competing with people who have all reached these minimums and my programs are only taking like 27% to 6% of the applications.

Usually when they hear that they shut up and wish me good luck.

[annieca]

Three things - one from a really good friend, another from a few people.

 

1) "Have confidence in yourself! You're qualified and will get in!" It's not that I don't have confidence in myself. I don't have confidence that other people are dumber/less qualified than I am.

 

2) "Well, it's only a MLIS (MLS) program so you can get in with low grades/low GRE/little experience" Just because I'm applying to programs that are relatively easy to get in, doesn't make me any less worried about acceptances or rejections. 

 

And my absolute favorite...

 

3) "You're too smart to be doing Archives. You should do x" (normally brain surgery they say) I don't WANT to do brain surgery (no offense to those out there). I don't WANT to do anything other than be an archivist for an NGO that's humanitarian based. Every program is difficult in their own right. 

[sansao]

"You're too smart to be doing Archives. You should do x" (normally brain surgery they say) I don't WANT to do brain surgery (no offense to those out there). I don't WANT to do anything other than be an archivist for an NGO that's humanitarian based. Every program is difficult in their own right. 

That's the big thing I get from a lot of friends and acquaintances. I'm fully aware that I have the capability, and in some cases even the education/training to do things in a field other than my own. If I wanted to do those things, why on Earth wouldn't I apply to a program in that other field? Surely these people know that this is a decision I made, and not some ride that I'm trapped on, yes?

[viggosloof28]

"Heard anything yet? No? Not from anyone? Well when will you know?"

 

 

Ah, yes, "Psych" reference!  The waiting process also "makes me want to weep and then die!!"

[RubyBright]

That's the big thing I get from a lot of friends and acquaintances. I'm fully aware that I have the capability, and in some cases even the education/training to do things in a field other than my own. If I wanted to do those things, why on Earth wouldn't I apply to a program in that other field? Surely these people know that this is a decision I made, and not some ride that I'm trapped on, yes?

 

I often hear that I should go to law school. As if I a.) have never thought of this myself, and their comment will surely cause a revelation or b.) have never heard it from anyone else. Clearly if I had any desire to be a lawyer, I would be applying to 3-year law programs instead of 5-year PhD programs in a completely different field.

[madricka]

When I tell my (trauma/critical care) nursing colleagues I'm aiming for MLIS, I get a blank stare as if they are expecting me to start laughing and then they say, "Really? Why?". My mom asked, "Won't you be bored?". Augh. It's frustrating when you have to explain yourself in order to justify why you're doing what you actually want to do (instead of doing what *they* want you to do!).

[emmer]

"oh, you're going into speech pathology? What can you do with that?" .....really?

[viggosloof28]

When I tell my (trauma/critical care) nursing colleagues I'm aiming for MLIS, I get a blank stare as if they are expecting me to start laughing and then they say, "Really? Why?". My mom asked, "Won't you be bored?". Augh. It's frustrating when you have to explain yourself in order to justify why you're doing what you actually want to do (instead of doing what *they* want you to do!).

So true.  My dad's always asking why I didn't go into the hard sciences ("you're smart enough and they pay so well"), when all I'm doing is what I actually WANT and LOVE to do.  I thought that was supposed to be every parent's dream for their kids?

[BrookeSnow]

"Heard anything yet? No? Not from anyone? Well when will you know?"

 

 

 

Psych is probably one of the few things getting me through the waiting.

 

My co-workers ( who are also applying to grad school/law school so they should know better) 

 

1. Don't worry you'll get in, its not like English is a competitive field like History. 

 

2. Why are you applying to that school, its in the middle of nowhere don't you want to go somewhere cool like Miami?

 

 

- I found the first one odd, because I've never had someone tell me English wasn't competitive but History is. I've heard that English isn't competitive but _____ hard science is. 

[OhMySocks]

The only people I don't mind telling me that they think I have a good chance of getting in are the current grad students. The trauma is still recent in their minds, so I figure they see my chances more clearly.

 

There's a confirmation bias there though. They went through it, and it worked out well for them, so they assume it will work out well for you too.

[33andathirdRPM]

I'm sure someone has probably posted something like this, but I hate hearing:

 

"Why are you going to grad school? You're smart enough to get a job without it."

 

*sigh*

Edited January 29, 2013 by 33andathirdRPM

[OhMySocks]

I'm sure someone has probably posted something like this, but I hate hearing:

 

"Why are you going to grad school? You're smart enough to get a job without it."

 

*sigh*

 

Yeah...I get that one a lot. Particularly in Computer Science because industry jobs are plentiful. I finished my undergrad last year, and took a job as a research assistant at a university, turning down 3 industry jobs in the process (one of which offered 35k per year more than what I'm making now). Honestly, I have absolutely no regrets about this decision. I LOVE my job now. But people find it so difficult to understand why I would ever turn down a high paying job at a good company, and then take even more of a paycut to go to graduate school. 

[RubyBright]

There's a confirmation bias there though. They went through it, and it worked out well for them, so they assume it will work out well for you too.

 

Maybe, maybe not. It depends on whether or not they can fairly evaluate your chances at specific universities, against specific other applicants. 

[humblegirl]

1. You get into any other schools yet? 

2. I think it would be smart to reconsider the PhD.

3. Haven't you heard of "piled higher and deeper?"

4. You're crazy. (Generally from people who don't plan to go past their AS or BS for whatever reason.)

5. Why didn't you apply to XX (insert school name here)?

[AnthroPerson]

From my mother, after my first rejection. "Are you supposed to be doing more? Should you have contacted them and asked them for an interview? You know, show your interest?" In her defense that flies with undergrad apps which is all she has experience with. But it doesn't help.

[sansao]

From my mother, after my first rejection. "Are you supposed to be doing more? Should you have contacted them and asked them for an interview? You know, show your interest?" In her defense that flies with undergrad apps which is all she has experience with. But it doesn't help.

Yeah, from last year, my feeling is that the best response to hearing about your rejection is for someone to say they're sorry, offer you a drink, and possibly talk about how much they hate said school. Wasn't there a printable brochure someone made about responding to grad applicants posted in the fora somewhere?

[claisen]

My father after my first rejection from Princeton: "I thought you pay application fee and you're in"  . 

[LndscpDsign]

Friend: what programs did you want to do at grad school?

Me: I'm going for a Master of Landscape Architecture(MLA)

Friend: so you'll be drawing trees...

Me: *facepalm* not really..

Or better yet

Friend: Where did you apply?

Me(talking fast to not jinx it): UC Berkeley, USC, and Harvard

Friend: *laughs* No but really, where did you apply?

Edited January 29, 2013 by LndscpDsign

[ShortLong]

I'm sure someone has probably posted something like this, but I hate hearing:

 

"Why are you going to grad school? You're smart enough to get a job without it."

 

*sigh*

 

The funny thing is that I had a recruiter ask me "Why aren't you going to grad school?" when he was looking at my resume DURING the interview. Granted it was at a research lab that hires BS, but have a pretty high rate of MS and PhDs.

[RubyBright]

My father after my first rejection from Princeton: "I thought you pay application fee and you're in"  . 

 

We can only wish!