C'estLaVie Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 Also...I am in love with the cat in your icon. Thanks! Monorail Mikey wishes everyone the best! People seem to think being on this website exacerbates the anxiety but I just think they don't fully understand the concept of solidarity. jmu, MissC and csibaldwin 3
jmu Posted February 13, 2013 Posted February 13, 2013 People seem to think being on this website exacerbates the anxiety but I just think they don't fully understand the concept of solidarity. Absolutely!
Monochrome Spring Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 I either get the completely unhelpful "Oh, you'll get in somewhere" or "You're smart and have such and such experience, so you'll be fine". Neither of those actually helps relieve anxiety or critically improve my application. The only negative comment I get is from my mom. She likes to tell me to be realistic that I probably won't get in anywhere the first try. Thanks, mom.
RubyBright Posted February 14, 2013 Posted February 14, 2013 Thanks! Monorail Mikey wishes everyone the best! People seem to think being on this website exacerbates the anxiety but I just think they don't fully understand the concept of solidarity. I misread that as "singularity." Completely changes the meaning...
Mattd4488 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "You're worried about getting in? What is it that you're studying again?" "Theology." "Theology? I can't imagine that a lot of people do that. It's probably pretty easy to get in. Don't worry about it." Yeah, easy, of course. Nobody stops to think about the fact that the reason why so few people do PhDs in theology is because there's such little funding available in that field. ThousandsHardships 1
lpeppersauce Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 When I first mentioned applying for PhD programs, my boss and coworker insisted on explaining to me, over and over, that my company will pay for me to get a PhD part-time while working here full-time. Why would I want to take a huge pay cut and go back to school full-time? I said that I want to go into academia, which means I need teaching and research experience, which I would get during grad school through assistantships, which I can't get if I'm a part-time student. Also, many programs don't take part-time students, and I have no interest in working on my PhD in the evenings for 8-10 years. I like to leave at least a little bit of time free in the evenings to preserve the illusion that I have a social life. Then they said, "But doesn't [not-very-good local school] have a program you want? I'm sure they'd let you go part-time! You could keep working here! Do your dissertation on one of your work projects!" I had to bite my tongue to keep from saying, "You don't understand. I want to go back to school to get away from this job. Being stuck here for 8-10 years while working on a PhD part-time in the evenings would be hell. It's entirely possible I'm going to lose it and hurl my computer out the window like a discus before this fall, and that's only another six months!" Then they said, "Well, I'm sure you'll get in everywhere," to which I did NOT reply (showing much restraint), "Even if I don't get in anywhere, I'm still getting the hell out of here!" To clarify: I have other, much more noble reasons why I applied to grad school. The fact that my job sucks was just an added motivator. dat_nerd, saphixation, mop and 1 other 4
DarwinsBones Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions. csibaldwin and ion_exchanger 2
scofield24 Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "You are going to be so overqualified for all the jobs" saphixation 1
phku Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs." ion_exchanger and RubyBright 2
RubyBright Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 (edited) "Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs." Yeah, I've definitely heard variations on this one. Or there's, "Whoa! You're smart enough to skip your master's???" No, no... that isn't quite how it works... Edited February 27, 2013 by RubyBright
Grev Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 On applying to PhD programs in Spanish: "So you're gonna study the really advanced grammar, right?" "About damn time. We were wondering when you were going to get your doctorate." And: Them: "So what are you going to study?" Me: "Medieval Spanish Literature." Them: "So is that, like, Mexican or..." ValarDohaeris, comp12, dat_nerd and 1 other 4
pears Posted February 27, 2013 Posted February 27, 2013 "Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs." there are not enough palms in the world for me to sufficiently facepalm a facepalm as hard as that statement deserves. wahhh. sansao, Linelei and phigirl 3
Reatha Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 I either get the completely unhelpful "Oh, you'll get in somewhere" or "You're smart and have such and such experience, so you'll be fine". Neither of those actually helps relieve anxiety or critically improve my application. The only negative comment I get is from my mom. She likes to tell me to be realistic that I probably won't get in anywhere the first try. Thanks, mom. Know the feeling. And my absolute favorite "It will all work out" If you mean by it will all work out I continue working the job that I am and not pursuing the career that I want, then sure, I suppose it will. phigirl 1
ion_exchanger Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 "Why didn't you apply to Harvard? Everyone applies to Harvard, just to see." Apparently, I did not know this. Just to see what? student12345 and psychgrad15 2
queenleblanc Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Know the feeling. And my absolute favorite "It will all work out" If you mean by it will all work out I continue working the job that I am and not pursuing the career that I want, then sure, I suppose it will. If my wonderful husband tells me ONE MORE TIME that "it will all work out" I'm going to have to demote him from partner to grit under my heel. HA! I internally know it will, but it doesn't help me to hear that... while I'm sitting on NO communication thus far beyond "apps complete" or "notifications will begin mid-march" ...
SLPjmar Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 (edited) If my wonderful husband tells me ONE MORE TIME that "it will all work out" I'm going to have to demote him from partner to grit under my heel. HA! I internally know it will, but it doesn't help me to hear that... while I'm sitting on NO communication thus far beyond "apps complete" or "notifications will begin mid-march" ... Yup. Or "it'll all be fine", or "well, just wait and see!". Edited February 28, 2013 by jmarti37
RubyBright Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Yup. Or "it'll all be fine", or "well, just wait and see!". Yes, because it's not like I wasn't ALREADY waiting to see.
veggiez Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions. This is happening to me too, and it's overwhelming. Like as soon as I get an offer, I am bombarded with people telling me what they think about the school and how they can't really see me there or think I should wait and see what else I get. I don't ever have a chance to tell anyone what I think about my offers because they jump right into what I should think. It's a big decision and I am not ready to make it based on what other people think about the school. DarwinsBones 1
acoustic_alchemy Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 "Honey, I'm pretty sure you need your masters degree before you can apply for PhD programs." Ugh, this so much. If I hear it one more time, worlds will end >< Family also tends to swing between "oh, you're so smart, you're a shoo-in everywhere!" to "wellll...you should take [random course or hot temp job of the month], as a plan B [or C, or D...]". It's the 180 degree turn in the same damn conversation that puts me on edge MissC 1
RiffRam Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 It's a little different, but now that I have acceptances I hate telling people because instead of a congratulations, they feel like they need to put in their 2 cents about which program they think is best. It's like they try to put this whole other stress of me making a decision. In the end it is about what is best for me and my family and I need to throw opinions aside unless they have genuine evidence or reasoning behind their opinions.lol This times one thousand. Everyone thinks I should go to ASU because they are " close to Phoenix" instead of Iowa City, Tucson, or Gainesville (which are all apparently too far from civilization and not worth a look). And to top it off, upon hearing the news that I received a research fellowship at one of the schools I've been accepted to (that happens to be a 15 hour drive from home), my mom had responded that I'm "slowly killing" her. Thanks for the congratulations, mom!
DarwinsBones Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 lol This times one thousand. Everyone thinks I should go to ASU because they are " close to Phoenix" instead of Iowa City, Tucson, or Gainesville (which are all apparently too far from civilization and not worth a look). And to top it off, upon hearing the news that I received a research fellowship at one of the schools I've been accepted to (that happens to be a 15 hour drive from home), my mom had responded that I'm "slowly killing" her. Thanks for the congratulations, mom! Yeah I have the same from my mom just saying that she is still holding out for school A over my choice of school B because its closer to my family and I've been in California for far too long!
mugilish Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 "why don't you just pursue this(enter another field of study), i'm sure you will get a real job afterwards" low blow... i must say... ThousandsHardships 1
stillalivetui Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Yeah I have the same from my mom just saying that she is still holding out for school A over my choice of school B because its closer to my family and I've been in California for far too long! I'm so glad I'm not the only experiencing this! The only reason my momma's top choice for me is the UW is because she'll still be somewhat close to me. I can't even explain to her that academics and such are really what matters.
Rho86 Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 Me: I'm going for my 2nd Masters in Social Welfare/Work to become a LCSW random person (family/ old HS and undergrad friends):"Again?!...you're collecting those degrees I see!" Me: *rolls eyes* Yea, I know what I want now. (and don't judge me, kthanksbye)
MissC Posted February 28, 2013 Posted February 28, 2013 "You were like the smartest person in the whole school- why are you worried?" "Are you going to start wearing long skirts and scarves and wearing your hair in a bun?" And the one that drives me nuts- because he's still in control of rational thought is from my boyfriend: Him: Are you checking all the websites again? Me: Yea Him: Didn't you check them right after dinner? Me: Yea Him: Do you really think someone is there updating their system at 11 pm? Me: YEA! Him: On Sunday? Me: ......
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