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Venting Thread- Vent about anything.


MoJingly

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On 9/14/2018 at 10:57 PM, Halek said:

Nope. It's not gonna work. God damn it. This is the closest I've ever gotten to a real relationship. Damn it. 

I'm so sorry :(. Like quantum mechanics, relationships are one of those things I can't fully wrap my head around. They are definitely complicated, and I hope one day you can find that special person! 

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I felt like I was able to make that transition in to grad school work, but today I just felt like everything was crashing down around me. 20hr GA with a professor other than my thesis mentor, 4 classes with intense work, looking up articles to begin the thesis, and a few extra hours working in my thesis mentor's lab, falling behind on a manuscript, and the readings/assignments for class take so much time too! Commuting alone takes close to 10 hours a week. To top it off, I don't really have enough time to eat/prepare food during the day and not enough money to eat food out on my stipend. Most days I eat food, but less than is healthy. I don't even feel hunger anymore but I get stomach pain from not eating enough. I think I'm just spiraling and I know others are in worse situations but I just needed to express my feelings somewhere.

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I honestly feel like a piece of garbage. I am currently taking a gap year before (hopefully) attending grad school. I can't find a job, and I will soon either have to start paying loans or find a way to defer them. I am happy that I have time to focus on my applications, but I feel like not doing anything else makes me look super lazy.

Edited by Moods 2.0
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I hate the health care system in the US. Seriously considering flying home to get dental treatment and a quick bloodcheck - would be cheaper. Even half my department recommends me to do so... Can't stop hating how retarded this system is.

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Found out today I haven't been being paid for my research assistant job because the method of logging hours I was told to use by my department is not accepted by HR.

To top it off this came to me in the form of a very rude e-mail from the HR department where they insinuated I was trying to embezzle money from the department.

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A few days ago I was feeling so much better about the relationship not working out and also grad school stuff. Today basically completely reversed all that. I just want to feel comfortable for a little bit. That'd be nice. 

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Thanks Charlie. I talked to the departmental administrative assistant and the HR person; they said I can still switch the format of my hours for the past week and if I send them the hours I worked with professors to contact for confirmation they'll work on paying me for the past few weeks I worked.

I'll still have to wait for the next period to see if HR makes good on it, though...

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56 minutes ago, ResilientDreams said:

I really wish I could take a Saturday off instead of working through them all the time...

Do it! Take care of your mental health and a couple of days of can result in a fresh take on many things. I feel like they actually make me more productive

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I'm doing a research rotation in my first term, and I'm really regretting it. I feel like I'm just floating here. I don't really know what I'm doing, and I'm not "assigned" under anyone for this rotation so it's always a struggle to figure out who to ask for help. When I do ask, I feel like I'm bothering people because most rotational students ARE working with someone directly, so no one really has any time to set aside to help me get started. It's hard to even track anyone down sometimes because it's computational stuff.

Plus, I have a desk that I've sort of been assigned, but sometimes I come in and there's stuff on it or the chair is missing, and I can't really find anyone to ask about it so I just end up leaving and going to a library or something to work. I asked the PI about desks, and he assigned me another one that ended up having the same issue.

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I am trying to wrap my head around the fact that after I graduate with my master's this May I have to take a year off to save up moving money and the boyfriend might not be able to join me in the city I move to for the Ph.D until close to the new year. So I might have to try to find a random roommate that hopefully wouldn't be random by the time I move. I'm trying to put aside money for the subject test I'll be taking in April and a GRE general test I'll be retaking in May or June so I can have a better score. Then I have to make sure I'll have money for all the applications and try to narrow down my schools to around.....ten? Five to six top tier and five to four mid-tier schools. Just.....I'm glad I have time to figure this out and work on it but it's already driving me crazy and I still have one more semester of my Master's degree to go. 

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