Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

Broke up with the guy I was seeing whoop!

Perhaps I should write this in the positivity thread as it is a good thing

[EileanDonan]

Just got rejected from my dream lab, after waiting an entire month since the second interview alone. Searching for a research position is one of the absolute most maddening and draining experiences.

[Tigla]

I had to fail a student today after months of trying to motivate them to do their work and engage with the class material. I know it's their fault for not doing the work, but it still feels like you failed them as a teacher. That feeling can jump off a bridge!

[Halek]

I've been in the field almost a month (a month this upcoming weekend). 

I'm tired, questioning why I'm doing this, and I miss my cat.

I wanna go home. 

I still have one more month to go. 

[bibliophile222]

It's a sparkling, dazzling, gorgeous summer Sunday and I'm going to be stuck inside all day, doing work that cannot be done outside because I need access to HIPAA-protected information. 

? 

[Rachel Watts]

I was trying to apply to a volunteer position in my dream job's department. But I got rejected, as a volunteer, can you imagine? I'm a mess rn. 

[sgaw10]

I'm moving in less than a month now to start graduate school. As excited as I am, I'm also experiencing some relocation depression. The neighborhood and city as a whole from my undergrad mean the world to me, and it's so painful to let it go. It's the first place I've ever felt at home. And it feels strange moving from a huge city to a smaller one.

[_angua]

On 7/21/2019 at 5:46 AM, sgaw10 said:

I'm moving in less than a month now to start graduate school. As excited as I am, I'm also experiencing some relocation depression. The neighborhood and city as a whole from my undergrad mean the world to me, and it's so painful to let it go. It's the first place I've ever felt at home. And it feels strange moving from a huge city to a smaller one.

I totally feel this! I'm feeling pretty anxious about leaving the city I was raised in and moving across the country to a smaller college town. I love how diverse my city is and how easy it is to get around on transit.

[senorbrightside]

I just feel so lost about everything right now. 

[sgaw10]

On 7/22/2019 at 3:03 PM, _angua said:

I totally feel this! I'm feeling pretty anxious about leaving the city I was raised in and moving across the country to a smaller college town. I love how diverse my city is and how easy it is to get around on transit.

Yep. I'm moving from a city with one of if not THE best public transit systems in the country, and it's saddening.

[bibliophile222]

I solemnly promise myself that some day I'll live in a building that wasn't built in the 1800s and doesn't have chronically persnickety plumbing...

[Cheshire_Cat]

I can't find my keys. I have too much to do to look for them. But if I don't find them then I can't go to my friends house to retrieve my suitcase from our trip. But maybe my keys are there. IDK. I have too much to doooooooo.. and I'm hungry and can't go anywhere because I can't find my keys. I could cycle, but I don't wanna, too hot. I want my keys. I want my car... ugh!

[bibliophile222]

I haven't heard anything yet on where or when my fall placement will be (despite originally being told we would find out in mid-August) and none of our courses are up on Blackboard yet (despite classes starting tomorrow). I'm a planner by nature and this wait is driving me nuts!!!

[PsyDuck90]

3 hours ago, bibliophile222 said:

I haven't heard anything yet on where or when my fall placement will be (despite originally being told we would find out in mid-August) and none of our courses are up on Blackboard yet (despite classes starting tomorrow). I'm a planner by nature and this wait is driving me nuts!!!

Just FYI, my school uses Blackboard and I'm an adjunct professor as well. It may only be my school, but we can't make the course visible to students until the official start of the semester. 

[bibliophile222]

3 minutes ago, PsyDGrad90 said:

Just FYI, my school uses Blackboard and I'm an adjunct professor as well. It may only be my school, but we can't make the course visible to students until the official start of the semester. 

Hmmm, maybe some of our professors are adopting this plan. They've opened up earlier in other semesters, and I do have access to a pseudo-course (no assignments, only meets three times) that opened up last week. It's just annoying because I had a bunch of time this weekend that I could have spent getting ahead on readings.

 

[Adelaide9216]

9 hours ago, bibliophile222 said:

I haven't heard anything yet on where or when my fall placement will be (despite originally being told we would find out in mid-August) and none of our courses are up on Blackboard yet (despite classes starting tomorrow). I'm a planner by nature and this wait is driving me nuts!!!

Same here 

[Grad19]

Grad school just started & I hate it. I feel so lonely & out of place. 

[Cheshire_Cat]

Being a grad student is like juggling plates. And right when you get a handle on juggling the number of plates you have, more are tossed in and you have to juggle them too. And then in the last year, instead of more plates being tossed in, you are hit by a car. Fuck.

[sgaw10]

My mom and I don't get along.

She told me a couple weeks ago that she spontaneously booked a trip to my new city. Never even asked me.

This is the first week of grad school for me, and I'm already incredibly busy. Even after I insisted I did not want money, she demands that I make time for her to give me some after she criticized how my salary will not go very far. She also feels that my new school is lesser than my undergrad institution and does not hesitate to express that. She doesn't understand what I'm doing, which is fine, but she doesn't try understanding. My mom lashed out at me via text a couple months ago because she thought I misread and actually had to take more money from my family for tuition, which is not true. Unrelated but strange to mention is that she has a crude Twitter account with tens of thousands of followers, where I suspect she may be cheating on my dad in some sort of virtual relationship.

My parents are trying to guilt me into hanging out with her, but this is something I really don't want to do. I'm not sure how I should go about it. I don't understand why it's my responsibility to entertain her on a whim. 

/endrant

 

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

13 hours ago, sgaw10 said:

My mom and I don't get along.

She told me a couple weeks ago that she spontaneously booked a trip to my new city. Never even asked me.

This is the first week of grad school for me, and I'm already incredibly busy. Even after I insisted I did not want money, she demands that I make time for her to give me some after she criticized how my salary will not go very far. She also feels that my new school is lesser than my undergrad institution and does not hesitate to express that. She doesn't understand what I'm doing, which is fine, but she doesn't try understanding. My mom lashed out at me via text a couple months ago because she thought I misread and actually had to take more money from my family for tuition, which is not true. Unrelated but strange to mention is that she has a crude Twitter account with tens of thousands of followers, where I suspect she may be cheating on my dad in some sort of virtual relationship.

My parents are trying to guilt me into hanging out with her, but this is something I really don't want to do. I'm not sure how I should go about it. I don't understand why it's my responsibility to entertain her on a whim. 

/endrant

 

@sgaw10 I am so sorry. I think I remember you talking about your parents, especially your mom's, misunderstanding of grad school and the finances that come with it. I think what your family needs to learn is that you are an adult now. You have your own life. You can't stop everything for them and they should get that. I am sorry they don't and make you feel guilty, especially during the start of grad school which already has multitudes of stressfullness in of itself.

I wish I could provide a solution, but I don't think there is much you can do per se but be honest with them. Once you do, then your family has to change. You can't change them, sadly.

[sgaw10]

1 hour ago, IceCream & MatSci said:

@sgaw10 I am so sorry. I think I remember you talking about your parents, especially your mom's, misunderstanding of grad school and the finances that come with it. I think what your family needs to learn is that you are an adult now. You have your own life. You can't stop everything for them and they should get that. I am sorry they don't and make you feel guilty, especially during the start of grad school which already has multitudes of stressfullness in of itself.

I wish I could provide a solution, but I don't think there is much you can do per se but be honest with them. Once you do, then your family has to change. You can't change them, sadly.

Haha, I am the infamous complainer! Thank you for the words though. I'm grappling with some guilt but also with wanting to assert my autonomy.

Hope the new program works out well for you.

[Evie95]

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

[Adelaide9216]

Almost a month since I moved for my PhD studies, and all I can say is that I am really happy and enjoying it so far.

[Adelaide9216]

On 9/20/2019 at 9:58 AM, Evie95 said:

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

I'm so sorry this happened to you. :( 

[EileanDonan]

On 9/20/2019 at 8:58 AM, Evie95 said:

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm quite surprised that his advisor doesn't care (I'm sure he would have a different opinion if he was on the receiving end!). Either way, this sort of behavior can't become common place. Could you bring it to a higher-up? That must be against some code of conduct.