Post here to get your worries off your chest

[FutureEdPHD]

6 minutes ago, mayu101 said:

Hi @crackademik - I feel you, but keep your chin up! I say this for two reasons:

(1) the data on other applicants you get on this site is, imho, *far* from being representative of the applicant pool. Posters tend to be on the more qualified/anxious end of the spectrum, and I think that this, while completely understandable, does tend to drive the general vibe.

 (2) If you are to trust the stories you read here, and I do think you should, you'll surely see that many "under qualified" applicants get interviews at places they hadn't anticipated. I feel that the selection process is far from predictable, and what works for some might not work for others. On a personal note, after receiving 4-5 rejections in a row a couple of weeks ago, I thought I was done for. I did end up with cool and unexpected interview invites, despite my lackluster qualifications, if I were to compare my record to others I saw rejected. 

 Tl;dr - it's not over til it's over ?

I absolutely needed to see that just now. This last week has been tough with a few of my programs sending out notifications for interviews and some acceptances. The admissions process just seems so secretive, which is frustrating when I'm trying to plan out my life. I've always been a planner, so this is really throwing me off BUT I'm hoping that these next few weeks will bring some clarity. You're absolutely right that it's not over til it's over! 

[civitas]

4 hours ago, crackademik said:

I haven’t heard back from anywhere yet but I’m not really expecting to get in anywhere to be honest. Everyone on this site seems to be far more qualified than me and even they are getting rejected to places. 

Thank GOD... I SLAUGHTERED GRE! Hopefully that will make me eligible at least in a way...

PS I am quoting your original quote

Edited January 22, 2019 by civitas

[yukichi]

Worries: I'm going into Statistics for a Ph.D. and my Quant score on the GRE was... less than stellar (160, 74th percentile). On top of that, 2 out of the 9 schools I applied to I uploaded the wrong SOP - one with misspellings (first draft), and one with the wrong school name so it feels like my pool of schools has shrank and I wasted $200 because of it. I even emailed them and they said they can't accept changes because of the sheer number of applicants. I also didn't contact professors in the programs about their research because I didn't know you were supposed to do that? So it just feels like all of the cards are stacked against me right now, especially since I've been sitting on some applications since mid-November and have yet to hear or see anything. 

Excitement: A lot of the programs I applied for are really cool and I could learn a ton from being there - there's a professor in I think UNC Chapel Hill who is interested in doing statistics on aggregated citizen science data which sounds so rad. The fact that there are statistics programs with actual labs doing research is also really cool since I'm coming from a smaller program with no dedicated stats labs, so I'm excited to do statistics research with other students and professors instead of just with a professor/PI. 

[Jackiebom]

On 12/11/2018 at 7:26 PM, loffire said:

Worries: This is my third cycle applying. It's been draining every single time. I am an international student and the acceptances for international students seem really low over the past 2 years. I did graduate from an American university, but with only a magna cum laude. There seem to be so many applying with much higher gpa than mine. Though my verbal and quant scores on the gres were pretty solid, my written score was only a 4.0. In short, I'm afraid a meh gpa, and a shitty 4.0 on written, coupled with my international student status will hurt me real bad. I have about 4yrs of research experience but only a few posters, presentations and publications to show for it. I am already 30 this year and feel like the rest of my life has been put on hold while I have focused on this. Being a first-generation college grad, my family understand the value of higher education, but don't quite get the point of pursuing a PhD instead of settling for an undergrad degree. I could really do with a win.

Excitement: There is little I can think of that would be as exciting as doing research in topics I find interesting. I contacted a number of POIs and some seemed interested in working with me. Regardless of how this plays out, I'm sure I'll eventually find myself doing research in topics that excite me so I'll just hold on to that hahaha

damn  three years in the row? Fingers Crossed!! 

[Jackiebom]

On 1/16/2019 at 2:26 AM, placeinspace said:

Worries: I don't think I want to get a PhD anymore because of the financial and lifestyle sacrifices I know I'll have to make going from a cushy job to a very low stipend. I've sort of decided even if I manage to get in somewhere I most likely won't attend (with the exception of my very top choice, which also has a reasonable cost of living).

Excitement: My Plan B if I don't go to school is getting me increasingly excited.

I am going to sacrifice $65/yr for the low stipends if I get in... .hurts everything when I think about it 

[Jackiebom]

On 1/8/2019 at 11:22 PM, artvandaley said:

Thanks for this thread! It is indeed an anxious time.

Worries: I'm worried that I might not get into any of the eight schools I applied to.  (Should have applied to more mid-ranked schools!) I'm worried that I spent a lot of my savings on this damn thang. Also if I do get in, being an international applicant, I'm afraid I won't fit in with my peers and worsen my mental health.

Excitement: I'm applying for other research jobs as a back-up, and excited to carry out some more research on ground.. 

you will have lots of international peers in the lab -- everyone starts from zero -- take it east

mental health tho--- I been meditating

[talkalot_360]

Worries: During the interview, they asked me about a time I offended someone with my work and while talking about it I unconsciously did a jerk off hand motion and then when I realized what I was doing I panicked and went “Oh shit, not gonna keep doing that motion” while pushing my hand down with my other hand ??

 

Excitement: At least I was chosen for an interview and if I do get in even after doing that then that means that I’m so good at what I do that I’m worth accepting an unprofessional liability with no social filter

Edited January 22, 2019 by talkalot_360

[Anxiously Hopeful]

Worries ( quite a lot): I don't have a plan B. If I do not get into a university in this admission cycle then I am unsure about what I am going to do. I guess that I was so occupied in completing the applications that I did not think about a backup plan. The expectations of my family worry me even more since most of the time I have been a straight-A student. 

Excitements: My anxiety is making me want to grad school so much that I know I will give my best once I get there and make myself proud. Meeting new people and more importantly being on my own (I currently live with my parents) gives me goosebumps.

Please let me in grad school!!!!!!! 

[whiskerplot]

Worries: too many... I applied to 8 PhD programs, 7 in top 10 and 1 at my current undergrad institution but it's still highly competitive. I don't feel like a top 10 student  My plan B is attending a fifth-year MS program but I was really hoping to get out of here and not have to apply all over again. Thinking about Bay Area rent is also making me very anxious even though I haven't been accepted anywhere yet!

Excitement: I got 3 strong LORs and three interviews scheduled over 2 different schools, so at least I have some strengths!

[MPA_App]

Oh boy.

Worries: My undergrad GPA is low -- sub 3.0. I only applied to 2 programs, but I'm only really excited about my top school (the LBJ School for the MPAff program). They've sent an update letting folks who applied before the 12/15 deadline that they should hear by mid-February, and my anxiety is making the waiting that much worse. There's no interview, and I wasn't able to make an in-person visit to the school, although I talked to an admissions counselor for a while and interfaced with her via email fairly extensively about why LBJ is my top/only choice and what I want to go there. They also provided the opportunity to explain my GPA in a supplemental essay and I was able to talk about how a traumatic experience in undergrad impacted my grades, but I can't stop thinking about it even though the counselor told me that the admissions committee doesn't have GPA or GRE cutoffs and considers each application holistically. I'm absolutely convinced that my GPA is going to tank me. I also met someone this past year who is VERY smart and wound up studying in London, but he casually mentioned that the ONLY program he didn't get into was LBJ. Great. My other school is NYU Wagner, which is also a top school.

Excitement: I'm very proud of my essays and think they make a compelling case for what I want to do AND why LBJ is the only place that will let me do it. The admissions counselor told me that the personal statement is the most important part of each application. I have three very strong letters of recommendation, and my GRE scores are pretty strong (165 Verbal, 162 Quant, 5.5 AW). I have 6 years of full time, relevant professional experience.

Edited January 24, 2019 by MPA_App
typo

[jriveracal]

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I'd say 75% of the time I am feeling nervous but overall positive, and then out of no where, no idea why, but I start to just feel so overwhelmed and just want to cry.

[zeugini]

3 minutes ago, jriveracal said:

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I'd say 75% of the time I am feeling nervous but overall positive, and then out of no where, no idea why, but I start to just feel so overwhelmed and just want to cry.

I think you perfectly captured how I've felt! Of course I'm anxious about waiting (especially because I'm looking for a job and kind of have to wait until I get decisions before committing to certain jobs or rejecting them). But I've been pretty positive about most of it. Then I got into my local coffeeshop to hit refresh on my email and I get to the overwhelmed point on caffeine

[perpetualalligator]

5 hours ago, jriveracal said:

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I'd say 75% of the time I am feeling nervous but overall positive, and then out of no where, no idea why, but I start to just feel so overwhelmed and just want to cry.

You're definitely not alone. I am an emotional mess. Like you, I am so nervous all the time even though I am feeling quite positive (I'm usually a negative, self-deprecating person, so for me this is kind of weird). However, yesterday I was so anxious and overwhelmed I was absolutely useless at work. I felt horrible. Applying to grad school is just a roller coaster, and the uncertainty/possibility just messes you up. The good thing is that we have a space like this to just let it all out so that's something right?  Best of luck everyone! 

[elx]

On 1/22/2019 at 6:19 AM, talkalot_360 said:

Worries: During the interview, they asked me about a time I offended someone with my work and while talking about it I unconsciously did a jerk off hand motion and then when I realized what I was doing I panicked and went “Oh shit, not gonna keep doing that motion” while pushing my hand down with my other hand ??

Hahahahaahaahhaaaa -- thanks for this, this made my day! I hope you get in!

I'm worried about telling my supervisor/mentor about getting rejected from everywhere -- I've got two implied rejections, and the other three had later dates/ haven't started reviewing apps yet. I'm also worried I'll fail my final year of undergrad because I'm completely off focus ever since I saw the first History update for a uni on the results page.

[lovekilledinos]

Worried that I have irrevocably damaged my relationship with a faculty member from the university I received my MA from. Currently, it's also where I teach. We had a strangely icy interaction today that I hope I'm just reading wrong. 

 

Excited because I'm teaching an introductory course in my field for the first time! Incidentally, I think that could be the reason the other professor is icy. I might have taken the course from her. 

 

Shit. 

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

On 1/24/2019 at 8:44 PM, lovekilledinos said:

Worried that I have irrevocably damaged my relationship with a faculty member from the university I received my MA from. Currently, it's also where I teach. We had a strangely icy interaction today that I hope I'm just reading wrong. 

 

Excited because I'm teaching an introductory course in my field for the first time! Incidentally, I think that could be the reason the other professor is icy. I might have taken the course from her. 

 

Shit. 

No offense to the professor, but I feel like she should be happy for you. Maybe rightly just slightly salty, but also excited for you being able to teach a new course. 

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

On 1/24/2019 at 1:02 PM, jriveracal said:

Am I the only one that feels this way?

I'd say 75% of the time I am feeling nervous but overall positive, and then out of no where, no idea why, but I start to just feel so overwhelmed and just want to cry.

Yep! You got that “waiting period” feeling down to a T. Just know you aren’t alone in this feeling. It’s sad to see other people feeling this crappy, but also selfishly and oddly reassuring and comforting at the same time. 

When you feel those moments of being overwhelmed, maybe try to distract yourself by doing something you love or some self-care activities. 

[lovekilledinos]

9 hours ago, Moods said:

No offense to the professor, but I feel like she should be happy for you. Maybe rightly just slightly salty, but also excited for you being able to teach a new course. 

Thanks for that! I hadn't thought about it from that perspective. She's also one of my letter writers for this year's application cycle so I was fairly devastated over the weekend. 

But ultimately, whatever shenanigans happened behind the scenes to make it possible for me to teach this course was not my fault. 

Shouldn't faculty want to see their students succeed? 

[OBforme]

Worries: My GRE scores aren't in the top percentiles, if anything I'd say they're average. I don't have research experience in the field I've applied to as my career has been in marketing. I've done an independent study and a master's thesis, but again it doesn't feel like it stacks up to the research of most applicants in OB. I applied to far too many top tier schools with only a few safety schools in my batch of 13. I don't know if any of the professors I'm interested in working with will be able to "fight" for me if there are only so many spaces available in their program and only high GRE scores are the primary determining factor. My research interest is complicated and makes people uncomfortable, so much so that I don't know if anyone really wants to continue talking about, researching it, and trying to change based on solutions provided from research. Ultimately, I'm starting to not feel "good enough" after believing someone like me could have a shot.

Excitement: I really improved my quant score on my GRE with three weeks between my lowest scored test and my highest scored test. I was aiming for a 16 point increase but I am very happy with my 8 point increase which brought me up 4 percentiles. My verbal remained the same, which isn't terrible but could be slightly better. I put everything I had into my SOPs and really focused on why I want to work with and learn from the professors I referenced in each. I strongly believe my LORs are strong as each professor worked with me in my other graduate degree programs on research projects.

[fortsibut]

On 1/22/2019 at 1:19 AM, talkalot_360 said:

Worries: During the interview, they asked me about a time I offended someone with my work and while talking about it I unconsciously did a jerk off hand motion and then when I realized what I was doing I panicked and went “Oh shit, not gonna keep doing that motion” while pushing my hand down with my other hand ??

While I'm sorry that happened, I just want you to know that you just made my day and I started laughing uncontrollably at this.  I really hope you get into your top choice!

[clehman13]

Worries: The reason that applications are taking so long to get processed probably means that I'm getting wait listed or denied. But then again, the departments I applied to haven't really sent out any offer or rejections besides to those who did priority apps. I'll be upset if I don't get in anywhere, but at least rejection gives me a direction. I can seriously look for jobs with rejection. I can't make any commitments while in limbo, y'know. I don't have any undergrad research experience, but I did well on the GRE (165 quant, 156 verbal, 4.5 writing), my GPA is meh (3.36), I started college at 15, and I have a LOR from a PI at NASA. That being said, I still feel super overshadowed by everyone. My GF told me not to worry because she said I sounded qualified, but I don't think she realizes how much more qualified everyone else is. I just kinda want to know so I can carry on with my life and try to plan things out.

Excited: I'll be glad to be out of undergrad at the very least. I did also get invited to stand on the engineering observation deck at a future NASA launch, which I look forward to (although, that won't be for another couple of years). 

 

EDIT: That actually felt really good to write out just to get my thoughts straight.

Edited January 28, 2019 by clehman13

[TheHoff]

Worries:  Undergrad from a no-name school, GPA is not curved so it might appear low to the AdComm, GRE scores are below expected, in special the writing where I got a 3.0 (at least I did way better on the TOEFL, so I think that may help), got a mix of rejections and accepted without funding (aka polite rejection) in the last two years. Last but not least, some people were already accepted to my top choice, according to the survey.

Excitement: Since the last application cycle I got 6 new pubs (only one as the 1st author though), I'm really close to finally finishing my Master's thesis, got an interview for a job that despite not paying that well, is in an area that could be beneficial to my CV, and lost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year.

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

7 hours ago, lovekilledinos said:

Thanks for that! I hadn't thought about it from that perspective. She's also one of my letter writers for this year's application cycle so I was fairly devastated over the weekend. 

But ultimately, whatever shenanigans happened behind the scenes to make it possible for me to teach this course was not my fault. 

Shouldn't faculty want to see their students succeed? 

Exactly! Sometimes faculty forget that universities exist because of students :(.

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

1 hour ago, TheHoff said:

Worries:  Undergrad from a no-name school, GPA is not curved so it might appear low to the AdComm, GRE scores are below expected, in special the writing where I got a 3.0 (at least I did way better on the TOEFL, so I think that may help), got a mix of rejections and accepted without funding (aka polite rejection) in the last two years. Last but not least, some people were already accepted to my top choice, according to the survey.

Excitement: Since the last application cycle I got 6 new pubs (only one as the 1st author though), I'm really close to finally finishing my Master's thesis, got an interview for a job that despite not paying that well, is in an area that could be beneficial to my CV, and lost 10 pounds since the beginning of the year.

FYI, your GRE combined score is way higher than me. Also, you should be proud of those pubs, 1st author or not. Good luck and I hope this year goes well for you!

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

On 1/22/2019 at 1:28 AM, Anxiously Hopeful said:

Please let me in grad school!!!!!!!

I wish I could be like Oprah and pass out acceptances to everyone. "You get an acceptance! And you get an acceptance! You all get acceptances!"