Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[perfectionist]

My parents tell me whenever I talk to them that I will get in everywhere I applied to. I explained the acceptance rates to the programs I applied to, and they dismiss it as though all the other applicants are just applying because they were bored one day and don't have any qualifications.

 

Nope, still no invites.

Edited December 27, 2013 by perfectionist

[DerpTastic]

I had several family members recently tell me that I could only apply to master's programs straight out of undergrad for any field. When I told them that I had only applied to PhD programs, they panicked and told me to hurry up and finish some master's degree applications so I could still be considered for some schools.

 

This so much! I tried to explain it to my mom, who for some reason can't grasp how it works. D;

 

I also really hate the constant, "So when will you hear back?" "Have you heard back from any?" 

[MSW13]

"So when will you hear back?" "Have you heard back from any?"

 

This is why I told no one that I was applying to grad school--well, except for my references. I only let others in on it (and only very close family members) when the deadline to hear back was a couple of weeks away.

 

I'm sure I would have decked someone if they asked me those questions!

[behavioralneuronerd]

I hear the "you're definitely going to get in somewhere" phrase all the time. It just stresses me out more! Then it's the, "don't worry, things will work out in the end" or "just get a job!" "what's the point of wasting 5 years of school? 4 years of undergrad was enough!"

There's also that incessant commenting on how psychology is "useless"

 

oh that's my favorite! I love people who inform you they know everything about psychology from reading US magazine and their little tidbits, or from taking Psych 101 in undergrad, and therefore can't possibly understand what more you would learn in the five years it takes to earn a doctorate. Especially because psychology is "pretty much just common sense, right?"

[toby42]

"So have you gotten accepted yet?" (when it is still December from my parents)

 

I mean seriously? I am stressed out already and you have to ask me that?

 

This has GOT to be the number one in all our books. Of course, now that it's January it's only going to get worse!

 

BTW... who's gonna compile the top ten list of the previous 62 pages of material!? 

[MissData]

I get this one ALL THE TIME. It's always somewhere that doesn't even have a quantitative psych program, and when I mention this to said person or persons, they will shoot back, "Well, is it really THAT important that it's in quantitative psychology? I mean, there are other types of psychology, right?"

Right, because devoting 5+ years to a psychological subfield that I'm not as interested in would be TOTALLY worthwhile... NOT!!

 

I get the same thing. Everyone keeps asking me why I don't go where I went to get my undergrad.

 

Also I've recently been doing some online dating and my new favorite is "Can you tell what I'm thinking right now?" No, no I cannot. My desired degree is 80% closer to an applied statistics degree than anything psychology related. I even considered applying to a non-psychology program so that I could not have to deal with this. I'd go on dates and they'd be like "So....what do you do?" and I'd be like "I have a PhD in Applied Mathematics in Life and Social Sciences, so I'm essentially a rockstar." So far this hasn't worked. 

[Beckert]

"Why are you applying to [graduate program] instead of [something that still has your undergrad major in the title]?"

My (least) favorite from my aunt: "Do you really need a graduate education?" followed by one news article link every week regarding the uselessness of grad school, etc.

 

 

Lol my aunt has asked me if I have considered getting a professional certifiicate to become a paralegal etc.  (I currently work in a law firm but I have a BA and want a PhD >,<)

[Tomoe]

"Don't you want to come home and meet a nice man first? You could always do your PhD in a few years, after you get married..." 

 

And my favorite, spoken in really dismissive terms, "So I guess you just want to be a professional student then." 

 

Although I do hate the "you'll get in everywhere" that my mom keeps giving me. Coupled with, "but I'm moving to New York, so you have to choose Columbia!"

[bgguitarist]

My mom keeps sending me sermons and telling me they are the "highest learning" and don't require student loans, supposedly unlike the PhD programs to which I've applied. While they might be relevant in a theology degree (although I doubt it, unless one were to study modern grassroots home churches), I'm neither religious nor am aspiring theologian. I'm a Victorianist.

 

I've tried to explain the whole funding thing, too, but to no avail. Sigh.

[tingdeh]

My mom keeps sending me sermons and telling me they are the "highest learning" and don't require student loans, supposedly unlike the PhD programs to which I've applied. While they might be relevant in a theology degree (although I doubt it, unless one were to study modern grassroots home churches), I'm neither religious nor am aspiring theologian. I'm a Victorianist.

I've tried to explain the whole funding thing, too, but to no avail. Sigh.

Haha, at one point my dad kept trying to convince me to do a Masters in Theology. ("It will help you learn more to discover your faith!") He is a reverend and I'm an outed atheist. And I'm an Asian Americanist.

[Brisingamen]

"But if they give you money to do research, H [my husband] can also come along with you... he doesn't even need to have a job."

 

Errrr. No. They will not give me THAT much money. And this is very complicated for international students. 

[Tomoe]

"But if they give you money to do research, H [my husband] can also come along with you... he doesn't even need to have a job."

 

Errrr. No. They will not give me THAT much money. And this is very complicated for international students. 

 

This! They don't seem to realize that if I go back to my home country and get married it would actually be harder to do a PhD in the states!

[Brisingamen]

Tomoe, yes! I've been married for six years, and we don't plan to do several years of a long-distance relationship, so we'll just have to figure out something for my husband (he could get transferred by work, but it might take more than a year to work that out). But if I were single and thinking of a PhD, there's no way I'd commit to a relationship just before heading off. 

 

Here's a cute one, from my 14-year-old cousin, who lives in a city where one of my top choice universities is located: "Come here! K [his 17-year-old sister] will be going to university elsewhere, so you can have her room! It'll be so much FUN!" *falls at my feet and hugs my legs*

 

Me: *choked up* "Ask your parents about this before making these invitations!"

 

[Beckert]

Plan B: If I don't end up in grad school, I will move to Hollywood and write a script about a zombie admissions committee.

 

I totally want a part in this! lol I think alot of us would and since we are all broke due to app fees you could pay us very little and we'd all feel rich lol.

[eriatarka]

Haha, at one point my dad kept trying to convince me to do a Masters in Theology. ("It will help you learn more to discover your faith!") He is a reverend and I'm an outed atheist. And I'm an Asian Americanist.

My family has asked me repeatedly why I don't study Biblical archaeology or anything to do with Jerusalem instead of Mesoamerica, so I can relate here.

 

Also, I'm from the West Coast and most of the schools I applied to are on the East Coast. They keep making comments like "But that's SO far..." and "Why do you want to go to the East Coast? It's too cold there!" etc....

 

This seems to be a touchy subject for my family, so I try not to bring it up anymore   It's hard.

[Tomoe]

I totally want a part in this! lol I think alot of us would and since we are all broke due to app fees you could pay us very little and we'd all feel rich lol.

 

One of my friends is on the job market this year, and she's decided that if it falls through she's going to give it all up and open a bar called 'Tenure.' 

[spectastic]

parent: have you retaken the GRE yet?

me: yep, I think I did ok (I didn't even sign up)

parent: Son, let me tell you, you need a good GRE. You can't let those kids from China have a higher score than you

me: yea I won't let that happen (I don't actually give a sh*t)

parent: Also, send me your essay, I'll revise it for you.

me: but I've already submitted

parent: send it to me and I'll revise it.

me: ok...

parent: make sure you have a good GRE score when you apply.

me: *at this point, I'm just looking for an exit strategy*

 

 

for full disclosure, my GRE was 153V 168Q and 4.5AW. (too bad I'm an illiterate fool who don't know words that are never used in real life)

[Beckert]

One of my friends is on the job market this year, and she's decided that if it falls through she's going to give it all up and open a bar called 'Tenure.' 

lol yes!  Will be the best bar ever!

[bgguitarist]

Haha, at one point my dad kept trying to convince me to do a Masters in Theology. ("It will help you learn more to discover your faith!") He is a reverend and I'm an outed atheist. And I'm an Asian Americanist.

 

Sadly, I don't think even a Theology degree could please my parents. They're a strange combo of anti-institutional and highly religious. Asian Americanist, huh? Are you a fan of Karen Tei Yamashita? I'm not actually sure where she fits categorically speaking, except postmodernism, but I recently read Tropic of Orange and am in LOVE with it. 

[Macavity]

Friends from undergrad: "So why aren't you applying to Oxford and other UK schools?"

Me: "Because I would rather stay in Canada, where the top researchers in my field are located and where I'm more likely to receive generous funding."

Friends from undergrad: "But it's OXFORD."

 

Friends from high school: "So are you finished school yet?"

Me: "Well, I applied to some PhD programs, so potentially not for another 4-5 years."

Friends from high school: "Can you even get a job with that? Did you know that you don't need to go to university to get a job?  I have a job!"

 

Parents (every time the topic comes up): "Okay, just so we're clear.  What exactly is a PhD?"

[Tomoe]

Parents (every time the topic comes up): "Okay, just so we're clear.  What exactly is a PhD?"

 

My mom has asked me at least seven times, "So what's the topic you want to study, again?"

[lari2014]

"Oh just to get yourself more in debt?" *pretentious laugh*

[Brisingamen]

'Minnesota? I hope that's not your first choice. It's like Fargo.'

Oh, no. Because I am aiming to join the Department of Balmy Weather for a PhD.

*eyeroll*

[JadeS]

'you project confidence so you will definitely get in, that's what they like'... uh ok. I don't feel as confident as I apparently seem to be ... and I'm not sure how much that will really play in getting an offer... but sure!

[TakeMyCoffeeBlack]

'you project confidence so you will definitely get in, that's what they like'... uh ok. I don't feel as confident as I apparently seem to be ... and I'm not sure how much that will really play in getting an offer... but sure!

 

Ha! Don't you love all the graduate school experts who may not have even gone to graduate school, and most likely don't have a Ph.D. (or even know what that actually entails)? It's great that they try to comfort us, but...