Finding a husband in graduate school.

[Pol]

Chivalry is archaic. 

[LittleDarlings]

Umm... Alrighty then.

I rather think that feminism makes it okay for women not to want that, not to have to conform to an image of femininity created by men, and to pursue that which will help to fulfill them as an individual as well as a woman. I don't think it has anything to do with chivalry, other than to say (and as a man I appreciate this): "Although we don't need you, we appreciate you and want you to continue doing this."

If women are freer and more independent (even if that means only that they can choose to be stay at home moms), then so are men. It's a matter of basic human equality, not the destruction of traditional values (read: except where those values are ethically questionable or have the effect of restraining, discriminating against or oppressing a certain segment of society).

I understand both sides, to me I value the traditional 50s household and I would love that. Feminism, to me, made it more difficult to accomplish that. I feel like now women are expected to go to school and further their education and it's looked down on to want to be a stay at home mom or housewife. Even though I am happy with my decision to go back to school and I'm excited for my career that I will eventually have but I definitely think feminism just kind made it difficult to have other goals. For example my family is constantly saying "finish your education and start a career before you worry about husbands and babies" in 1950 they would probably be saying to total opposite. Edited January 25, 2014 by CorruptedInnocence

[TakeMyCoffeeBlack]

I understand both sides, to me I value the traditional 50s household and I would love that. Feminism, to me, made it more difficult to accomplish that. I feel like now women are expected to go to school and further their education and it's looked down on to want to be a stay at home mom or housewife.

 

I think what you're thinking of has more to do with major changes to our economic system, and less to do with the empowerment of half of the population. Feminism would hold that if you want to be a stay at home mom or a housewife, you should be able to make that decision. The decision should not belong to your father, brother(s), boyfriend or husband.

[TakeMyCoffeeBlack]

For example my family is constantly saying "finish your education and start a career before you worry about husbands and babies" in 1950 they would probably be saying to total opposite.

 

In the 1940s my great-grandfather drove his daughter, my "Oma," to Bell-Aerospace, where she became the lead mathematician under Werner von Braun for that location. She met my grandfather there, a young engineer helping to develop the technology that brought us to the moon. When she gave birth to my father some years later, she stayed home to raise him and, eventually, her daughter. Thank God, though, that her father had permitted empowerment and not required her to fulfill the traditional feminine ideal. When my grandfather became very ill, she became financially responsible for the family - which she did as a professional musician.

 

This is feminism. It's about choices, and it's about discovering who you are intellectually, professionally, and emotionally. 

[LittleDarlings]

In the 1940s my great-grandfather drove his daughter, my "Oma," to Bell-Aerospace, where she became the lead mathematician under Werner von Braun for that location. She met my grandfather there, a young engineer helping to develop the technology that brought us to the moon. When she gave birth to my father some years later, she stayed home to raise him and, eventually, her daughter. Thank God, though, that her father had permitted empowerment and not required her to fulfill the traditional feminine ideal. When my grandfather became very ill, she became financially responsible for the family - which she did as a professional musician.

 

This is feminism. It's about choices, and it's about discovering who you are intellectually, professionally, and emotionally.

Not going to lie that is pretty cool.

I just always felt like if I lived back in that time things would be different for me. I would have been married at like 19 or 20 and I would have babies and I would cook and clean for my husband and it would be great. That's just what I envisioned.

[TakeMyCoffeeBlack]

Not going to lie that is pretty cool.

I just always felt like if I lived back in that time things would be different for me. I would have been married at like 19 or 20 and I would have babies and I would cook and clean for my husband and it would be great. That's just what I envisioned.

 

The good news is that the average life span is much longer than it was in the 1950s. Even if you start a decade later, you'll have just as many years to do this. Try and enjoy being young and single as much as you can. You have the next ~60 years to cook and clean for your husband.

[LittleDarlings]

The good news is that the average life span is much longer than it was in the 1950s. Even if you start a decade later, you'll have just as many years to do this. Try and enjoy being young and single as much as you can. You have the next ~60 years to cook and clean for your husband.

I can't like anything else today but I definitely like this. Thank you!

I am focused now more on school. I honestly think once I get out of this small town and start my program and have to live my own life I will mature more and I will be better girlfriend/fiancée/wife/mother material lol I just hope at that point I find someone. I have spent a ton of time watching shows and reading articles about women who are 30+ and single and I just value family. I don't want to be that person who is watching all my friends get married and pop out kids and I am living alone in my apartment with no husband or boyfriend or baby (even though preferably I will not be a single mom... That's rough!) I just want the family so the sooner that comes the more at ease I will be. I need to know it will happen, maybe not tomorrow but at some point and I won't be an old cat lady.. Because I really hate cats.

[TakeMyCoffeeBlack]

and I won't be an old cat lady.. Because I really hate cats.

 

My girlfriend entertained fantasies about life as a cat lady before we got serious. It was at the same time her worst fear and her dream. It helped that she loves cats.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I think CorruptedInnocence and her fifteen pages of mind numbing, asinine posts just turned me into a feminist. 

 

Genuine advice: you shouldn’t be dating ANYONE until you sort out your priorities and gain a good amount of self esteem. Don’t drag anyone else into your laundry list of problems. 

 

I just hope you didn’t write all of this nonsense in your Statement of Purpose. 

\thread

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I personally think feminism kind of ruined chivalry that's why I hate it.

Snapchat ruined chivalry. 

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

grad school is what I will be doing for the next 2 years of my life and then after that I will likely be working in an area where there aren't a ton of single, straight men. 

You could try to convert them, unless... you scared. 

[LittleDarlings]

You could try to convert them, unless... you scared.

... Don't say utterly ridiculous things.

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I understand both sides, to me I value the traditional 50s household and I would love that. Feminism, to me, made it more difficult to accomplish that. I feel like now women are expected to go to school and further their education and it's looked down on to want to be a stay at home mom or housewife. Even though I am happy with my decision to go back to school and I'm excited for my career that I will eventually have but I definitely think feminism just kind made it difficult to have other goals. For example my family is constantly saying "finish your education and start a career before you worry about husbands and babies" in 1950 they would probably be saying to total opposite.

You and me both, sister. Once those broads starting picking up books, it all went downhill. 

[Lifesaver]

Just a little food for thought here. My stepmother had her first (and only) child at 44 years old. You don't NEED to procreate by 20 years old anymore. Just wait, a lot of your married young and teen mother friends will be divorced in a few years. I promise, you will see it happen. I was engaged at 18 years old, but I quickly woke up and realized that would have been the biggest mistake of my life.

 

Don't stop dating. You'll have time to do some of that, don't worry. But seriously, you need to take it down a lot of notches. Your rush rush rush mentality may be what's driving men away, causing your lack of serious relationships.

[Kamisha]

Snapchat ruined chivalry. 

 

Snapchat ruined just about everything, didn’t it?

 

 

\thread

 

Amen. I will like this tomorrow. I used up all my “Thumbs Up/Down” disliking posts on this thread. 

[LittleDarlings]

Snapchat ruined just about everything, didn’t it?

 

 

 

Amen. I will like this tomorrow. I used up all my “Thumbs Up/Down” disliking posts on this thread.

Bye Felicia.

[darmok]

This thread is the best. Can we also have a "How to avoid getting married while in grad school" forum? I think more people need that one. 

[Kamisha]

This thread is the best. Can we also have a "How to avoid getting married while in grad school" forum? I think more people need that one. 

 

Haha I’d be into that. After reading this thread, I think a “How to Know if You Are Going to Grad School for the Right Reason” thread would be helpful, as well. 

[LittleDarlings]

I'm going to grad school for the right reasons. I never said I was going to school 100% for a husband, but since I will be in school around a lot of peoole I don't think it is outlandish to want to find someone to marry. If I was 100% going to school for a husband I would definitely not be going into a field that is 80% women, I would have picked a field more male dominated so it would be much easier to meet men.

[trizzleYO]

This thread is the best. Can we also have a "How to avoid getting married while in grad school" forum? I think more people need that one. 

 

1.) This thread is amazing

2.) I think this thread doubles as a "How to avoid getting married while in grad school" forum

3.) Amazing

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

I'm going to grad school for the right reasons. I never said I was going to school 100% for a husband, but since I will be in school around a lot of peoole I don't think it is outlandish to want to find someone to marry. If I was 100% going to school for a husband I would definitely not be going into a field that is 80% women, I would have picked a field more male dominated so it would be much easier to meet men.

 

Computer science is male dominated. But you hate math. 

[LittleDarlings]

Computer science is male dominated. But you hate math.

Exactly and I am not super interested in it. I want to go to school for a career that I will love, it would be great to find a significant other while I am doing it

[Guest Gnome Chomsky]

Exactly and I am not super interested in it. I want to go to school for a career that I will love, it would be great to find a significant other while I am doing it

 

Have you been reading your punctuation books? 

[LittleDarlings]

Have you been reading your punctuation books?

I actually haven't... I also don't care about reading then right now, I have more important things to worry about. So try again sweetie.

[Kamisha]