Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[Cheshire_Cat]

People who excuse their rudeness as a dislike of stupid people... Get over yourself. You aren't that smart. Also, being smart doesn't mean you can't respond to people with grace. Being rude because you think you're smarter than everyone is just a sign of narcissism. 

This isn't aimed at anyone. I just saw it on a t-shirt someone posted on facebook. As someone most people would classify as "smart" I think that this attitude is toxic. And it's usually perpetrated by people who aren't actually that smart in the first place, haha.

[GeorgiaTechPhd]

I somehow feel that academia has it's fair share of people who carry that attitude and feel there is not wrong with that. And then treat students like subordinates. 

[LazarusRises]

17 hours ago, GeorgiaTechPhd said:

I somehow feel that academia has it's fair share of people who carry that attitude and feel there is not wrong with that. And then treat students like subordinates. 

Unfortunately the world is full of people who will take the tiniest modicum of power and lord it over those "beneath them." And unfortunately, those without that power often have to eat crow for the sake of their careers and reputations. All you can do is respond with grace and hope someone at or above their level smacks them down. 

[feralgrad]

Lately, it's strangely alienating watching people freak out over grad school admissions when I'm just mildly nervous. At this point admissions are more like a semi-pleasant distraction from the dumpster fire of my life circumstances. Of course I still care what happens next, but grad school just doesn't feel as /big/ as it used to.

[Masters@GeorgiaTech]

On 2/19/2020 at 10:46 AM, feralgrad said:

Lately, it's strangely alienating watching people freak out over grad school admissions when I'm just mildly nervous. At this point admissions are more like a semi-pleasant distraction from the dumpster fire of my life circumstances. Of course I still care what happens next, but grad school just doesn't feel as /big/ as it used to.

I'm already attending grad school and I feel you're taking this in such right spirits!! ✌️✌️ You might be like keeping yourself busy to keep yourself from realising what mess your life might seem - but in hindsight the stress for admissions isn't just worth it! 

 

[feralgrad]

1 hour ago, Masters@GeorgiaTech said:

I'm already attending grad school and I feel you're taking this in such right spirits!! ✌️✌️ You might be like keeping yourself busy to keep yourself from realising what mess your life might seem - but in hindsight the stress for admissions isn't just worth it! 

 

I appreciate that! At the very least, I've developed a better perspective on the lottery that is MFA admissions. Better to roll with the uncertainty.

[mysteriousmartel]

Hi! I don't post all that much, but I had this thing happen during my decision process that has left a bad feeling that I can't get rid of and I wondered if anyone had any good insight on how to move forward.

I've currently been accepted to three schools, and I've been going back and forth between two specific ones. One has really cool research, but it's not in the best location I had hoped (trying to move closer to mom to take care of her on weekends, but the school is a 7 hour drive at least). The other is in my ideal location, but I don't know how I feel about the research, and after yesterday I don't know how I feel about one of the faculty.

In order to be accepted to school number 2, you have to be accepted by faculty prior to starting at the school. They bring you in for an on campus interview to talk with interested faculty, then you receive direct offers from them. I initially had interest in one person in particular, but after meeting them I didn't have a good first impression. After meeting all the faculty, I felt like the others were all nice, even if the research was not really the most interesting thing for me. However, the first interviewer wanted me to follow up with a secondary interview, so I obliged.

This interview consisted of me preparing a talk on a topic I have investigated before. I'm actually quite new to my field (long story, changed majors, but want to continue study to get better), so I've never given a talk before. I was nervous, and choked during the start of the interview. The interviewer spent this interview frequently pointing out my mistakes as I tried to pull the talk back together, which internally made it very hard for me to get through. I realized at the end that I wouldn't like to work with this faculty member, but the shock of how hard I felt they were being on me has been stuck on me and brought up past similar traumatic moments. I'm trying very hard to get over it, but I don't know if this is just normal and I need to deal or not. If it is, I really wouldn't like to stay in academic settings where I'm pounced on at every moment.

Sorry, long story! If anyone has any ideas or advice, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks

[LazarusRises]

On 2/22/2020 at 11:57 AM, mysteriousmartel said:

Hi! I don't post all that much, but I had this thing happen during my decision process that has left a bad feeling that I can't get rid of and I wondered if anyone had any good insight on how to move forward.

I've currently been accepted to three schools, and I've been going back and forth between two specific ones. One has really cool research, but it's not in the best location I had hoped (trying to move closer to mom to take care of her on weekends, but the school is a 7 hour drive at least). The other is in my ideal location, but I don't know how I feel about the research, and after yesterday I don't know how I feel about one of the faculty.

In order to be accepted to school number 2, you have to be accepted by faculty prior to starting at the school. They bring you in for an on campus interview to talk with interested faculty, then you receive direct offers from them. I initially had interest in one person in particular, but after meeting them I didn't have a good first impression. After meeting all the faculty, I felt like the others were all nice, even if the research was not really the most interesting thing for me. However, the first interviewer wanted me to follow up with a secondary interview, so I obliged.

This interview consisted of me preparing a talk on a topic I have investigated before. I'm actually quite new to my field (long story, changed majors, but want to continue study to get better), so I've never given a talk before. I was nervous, and choked during the start of the interview. The interviewer spent this interview frequently pointing out my mistakes as I tried to pull the talk back together, which internally made it very hard for me to get through. I realized at the end that I wouldn't like to work with this faculty member, but the shock of how hard I felt they were being on me has been stuck on me and brought up past similar traumatic moments. I'm trying very hard to get over it, but I don't know if this is just normal and I need to deal or not. If it is, I really wouldn't like to stay in academic settings where I'm pounced on at every moment.

Sorry, long story! If anyone has any ideas or advice, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks

It sounds like the only thing School #2 has going for it is the location. Family is important, but if you set yourself up for success after grad school by enrolling in the right program you're more likely to have the resources necessary to better take care of your mom. 

From what you've posted here, I'd absolutely pick School #1. It sounds like you're much more excited about the program & the research. 

[BlakeWhite]

Believe me, I am happy for everyone who has gotten into a program. But, seeing SO MANY threads everywhere that talk about how happy people are just make me frustrated that I haven't gotten any acceptances yet . It feels like everyone is getting into Ivies and I can't get anything

[GeorgiaTechPhd]

@BlakeWhite I can understand what you are feeling right now. It is already very hard to stay calm when you are just waiting for decisions, and on top of that, seeing others get some admits only makes it much harder. 

However, remember one thing, often the rate of success is over represented in forums such as this. The people who get admits are more likely to post here than people who don't get anything. Most people who don't have an admit are probably just staying out of the discussion. 

It's great you have put it out here what you are feeling, and I am sure you will find many others who are like you, but just aren't coming out yet. Also feel free to start a new thread, if you think getting support from others might help you. 

Lastly, just stay strong and believe in yourself. I am sure you still have a few schools left in the pipeline for you. 

[MarkySharky]

On 2/22/2020 at 9:57 AM, mysteriousmartel said:

Hi! I don't post all that much, but I had this thing happen during my decision process that has left a bad feeling that I can't get rid of and I wondered if anyone had any good insight on how to move forward.

I've currently been accepted to three schools, and I've been going back and forth between two specific ones. One has really cool research, but it's not in the best location I had hoped (trying to move closer to mom to take care of her on weekends, but the school is a 7 hour drive at least). The other is in my ideal location, but I don't know how I feel about the research, and after yesterday I don't know how I feel about one of the faculty.

In order to be accepted to school number 2, you have to be accepted by faculty prior to starting at the school. They bring you in for an on campus interview to talk with interested faculty, then you receive direct offers from them. I initially had interest in one person in particular, but after meeting them I didn't have a good first impression. After meeting all the faculty, I felt like the others were all nice, even if the research was not really the most interesting thing for me. However, the first interviewer wanted me to follow up with a secondary interview, so I obliged.

This interview consisted of me preparing a talk on a topic I have investigated before. I'm actually quite new to my field (long story, changed majors, but want to continue study to get better), so I've never given a talk before. I was nervous, and choked during the start of the interview. The interviewer spent this interview frequently pointing out my mistakes as I tried to pull the talk back together, which internally made it very hard for me to get through. I realized at the end that I wouldn't like to work with this faculty member, but the shock of how hard I felt they were being on me has been stuck on me and brought up past similar traumatic moments. I'm trying very hard to get over it, but I don't know if this is just normal and I need to deal or not. If it is, I really wouldn't like to stay in academic settings where I'm pounced on at every moment.

Sorry, long story! If anyone has any ideas or advice, I'd really appreciate it! Thanks

Same advice as the other, it sounds like school 1 might be a better fit. To put a long story short, I kinda had a similar experience to yours - except mine was just a campus visit. I had been told to meet with a certain professor who was apparently awesome, so I did, but the way she acted towards me (dismissive, like I didn't know what I was interested in, etc) completely turned me off from the entire program (along with a couple other things). Family and support systems are extremely important, but what matters too is what you want to do in life - it is entirely possible to keep having your support system even at a distance and also build a new one in a new place! (I only know this about my family because my brother is in Ukraine for the Peace Corps)

I understand 100% wanting to stay close to your mom - maybe look into some ways to make sure that she will be taken care of on the weekends that you can't make it home, or even schedule certain weekends that you plan on being home? I firmly believe that if you can go to the school that you're more excited about, then things will work out. It might not be ideal, but depending on the program (if it's an MA) then it'd only be for a couple years, which could be a couple of awesome years that you look back on fondly, or a couple that you're kind of "meh" about. 

Also, I don't think you need to "deal" or "get over it". If it's upsetting for you, then that's okay! You are valid in your feelings, and honestly it is not okay for someone to treat anyone that way - that faculty member acted unprofessionally in my opinion. You don't deserve to be at a place where you are uncomfortable, or where you feel like you will be belittled for anything (which is what he did!) 

Sorry this is long! 

[mysteriousmartel]

@MarkySharky @LazarusRises thanks for your inputs! I really appreciate it, and I think now I'm going to talk to my mom and partner about what happened, and tell them I'm leaning towards school one. I'll also work out a plan for helping my mom with winter work when the time comes so she doesn't have to worry about that anymore :).

[fauna876]

I don't even know where to put this - so here it goes in the venting thread. 

I'm pretty sure where I'm going to accept an offer, the program is GREAT, but I am so turned off by the schools web site(s). This is a Big 10 university with a great reputation - but MULTIPLE school's websites within the university have the most god-awful, outdated websites, including for my program, sometimes with gramatical errors, pages that have unupdated deadlines or other information since 2017, so many different style of web pages, and so many broken links. From varrious school websites, to the student health center website, to the GRADUATE ADMISSIONS PAGE - this school needs a massive web overhaul. There is also so much lack of interconnectivity between related departments on campus. I can see so much potential for them administratively, but it seems widely disorganized. I don't get the impression it's disorganized in the areas that matter (research support, libraries, etc.) but it's the little things that can make a big impression, IMO. In addition to all of these web issues, I set up an account with the transportation department for some parking information - and the site linked my new account to not one, but TWO differen't people's information so that I was able to see their name, number, address, email, license plate, etc.. This school has also has a history of a privacy breach where thousands of students' and employees' personal info including SSNS were released.

I'm so excited to go, but can't get past the idea that they can't get it together to get on par with every other school in the 21st century. 

[Modulus]

9 hours ago, fauna876 said:

I don't even know where to put this - so here it goes in the venting thread. 

I'm pretty sure where I'm going to accept an offer, the program is GREAT, but I am so turned off by the schools web site(s). This is a Big 10 university with a great reputation - but MULTIPLE school's websites within the university have the most god-awful, outdated websites, including for my program, sometimes with gramatical errors, pages that have unupdated deadlines or other information since 2017, so many different style of web pages, and so many broken links. From varrious school websites, to the student health center website, to the GRADUATE ADMISSIONS PAGE - this school needs a massive web overhaul. There is also so much lack of interconnectivity between related departments on campus. I can see so much potential for them administratively, but it seems widely disorganized. I don't get the impression it's disorganized in the areas that matter (research support, libraries, etc.) but it's the little things that can make a big impression, IMO. In addition to all of these web issues, I set up an account with the transportation department for some parking information - and the site linked my new account to not one, but TWO differen't people's information so that I was able to see their name, number, address, email, license plate, etc.. This school has also has a history of a privacy breach where thousands of students' and employees' personal info including SSNS were released.

I'm so excited to go, but can't get past the idea that they can't get it together to get on par with every other school in the 21st century. 

I'm so with you on this (although the security issues are beyond the pale and should be handled).  So many schools with large endowments or great federal/state funding have awful websites.  

[GeorgiaTechPhd]

On 2/27/2020 at 11:53 PM, fauna876 said:

I don't even know where to put this - so here it goes in the venting thread. 

I'm pretty sure where I'm going to accept an offer, the program is GREAT, but I am so turned off by the schools web site(s). This is a Big 10 university with a great reputation - but MULTIPLE school's websites within the university have the most god-awful, outdated websites, including for my program, sometimes with gramatical errors, pages that have unupdated deadlines or other information since 2017, so many different style of web pages, and so many broken links. From varrious school websites, to the student health center website, to the GRADUATE ADMISSIONS PAGE - this school needs a massive web overhaul. There is also so much lack of interconnectivity between related departments on campus. I can see so much potential for them administratively, but it seems widely disorganized. I don't get the impression it's disorganized in the areas that matter (research support, libraries, etc.) but it's the little things that can make a big impression, IMO. In addition to all of these web issues, I set up an account with the transportation department for some parking information - and the site linked my new account to not one, but TWO differen't people's information so that I was able to see their name, number, address, email, license plate, etc.. This school has also has a history of a privacy breach where thousands of students' and employees' personal info including SSNS were released.

I'm so excited to go, but can't get past the idea that they can't get it together to get on par with every other school in the 21st century. 

 

On 2/28/2020 at 9:30 AM, Modulus said:

I'm so with you on this (although the security issues are beyond the pale and should be handled).  So many schools with large endowments or great federal/state funding have awful websites.  

Yeah, I still remember, while applying I had to navigate through a whole bunch of different of college websites, and some of them were so awful that I felt like not applying there. Also, I don't know which school you are talking about, but my school has been notoriously famous for some of these data breaches (including student GPAs, their ethnicity and email IDs)

Edited February 29, 2020 by GeorgiaTechPhd

[AM61]

Don't get me wrong, having health insurance provided in grad school? Great. Finding out that hearing aids may not be covered at all by the plan of the program I'm looking at? Extremely not great. I'm just now learning how messed up hearing aid coverage is in most states, something my parents have had to deal with for years. Also, figuring out health insurance in general seems like a huge pain. Just one more worry on top of a whole pile of decision worries!

[LazarusRises]

5 hours ago, AM61 said:

Don't get me wrong, having health insurance provided in grad school? Great. Finding out that hearing aids may not be covered at all by the plan of the program I'm looking at? Extremely not great. I'm just now learning how messed up hearing aid coverage is in most states, something my parents have had to deal with for years. Also, figuring out health insurance in general seems like a huge pain. Just one more worry on top of a whole pile of decision worries!

Welcome to America, where billionaires profit hourly off the sick, the incarcerated, and anyone pursuing higher education.

Get out there and vote this season.

[sheepie]

Since it is a venting thread and I so desperately need to vent right now...

Most of my decisions have come for me and while initially was happy (at the same time wishing to get into more ambitious places I applied to) with my acceptances, now I feel that I shouldn't have been too happy. I am an international, and I think it is not worth moving to another country thousands of miles away just for some mediocre universities. 

To be honest, I would've been pretty satisfied with two of my acceptances but people I know, my family is not too familiar with my area and how difficult it is to get anywhere decent in my area. So they think maybe I shouldn't move another at all. And all of this just makes me feel so bad. I mean I know I did my best and people in my area, at my university know that they are pretty decent places to get into but hearing otherwise from the people I am close to just feels like all of this doesn't mean shit. They think if it is a well known place, like Harvard, Cambridge, MIT, Stanford or any other fancy place then it's worth going to else just stay in my own country and continue there. Too bad, I didn't apply anywhere in my own country and it doesn't have that many opportunities anyway. :(

[Physicsisphysics]

It's kind of annoying a lot of visits are cancelled. It certainly is for the best, but it doesn't make things any easier!

[you'll_never_get_to_heaven]

On 2/15/2020 at 10:50 AM, Cheshire_Cat said:

People who excuse their rudeness as a dislike of stupid people... Get over yourself. You aren't that smart. Also, being smart doesn't mean you can't respond to people with grace. Being rude because you think you're smarter than everyone is just a sign of narcissism. 

This isn't aimed at anyone. I just saw it on a t-shirt someone posted on facebook. As someone most people would classify as "smart" I think that this attitude is toxic. And it's usually perpetrated by people who aren't actually that smart in the first place, haha.

honestly, I get along just fine with many people who are very much not the sort of persons who would ever entertain graduate school, and many who didn't attend four-year college. I'm enthused about grad school, but I'm not pretending for a second that I won't find at least some of the other people to be obnoxious precisely because they are "smart" people.

Kinda makes me nervous about starting graduate school - I don't wanna be stuck with only academic nerds. 

[kohntarkosz]

I got accepted to a school in Italy and I have to pay a deposit by mid-April in order to secure my spot. Too bad it's on COVID-19 lockdown.

[Adelaide9216]

I'm very empathetic when I think of all the people with mental health challenges (especially anxiety) who must be going through an extremely though time right now due to COVID-19. I am not that anxious of a person, and I cannot imagine. I was bombarded with messages, emails, notifications, news reports, every 5 minutes (literally) on COVID-19. I can't imagine those who feel extremely anxious over this.

[history110]

Hi all! Right now I'm a bit of anxious mess (though weirdly calmer today but the last few days...not so much). I've been admitted to four school (and rejected by others), ranging from my lovely but lower ranking undergrad to to a school in the top 20-30 in my field. Most of, except for my alma mata (which is very unfunded despite being a pretty amazing department) have offered funding of some kind. My alma mata has 2 fellowships (only means of funding) and they will announce those later, so I'm still waiting on that possibility.  If they do not fund me, they are sadly not an option - weirdly enough they are have very cheap undergrad tuition, but very expensive graduate school tuition. To add on to the waiting for them, 2 of the schools that have accepted me are Canadian and for some reason I did not realize earlier they have much shorter decision deadlines and it's freaking me out. I had it in my head that it was April 15th to accept, I had an appointment scheduled with my very booked up anxiety/OCD therapist for the 1st of April because I know decisions send me into a tailspin...and now that is all disrupted. Not to mention the coronavirus thing is very much triggering my OCD and makes me wonder about being a US student (from Washington, no less) in Canada, etc, etc. Plus I was planning on visiting my schools and that is not remotely a possibility due to the virus making travel in WA state/BC area difficult/and schools shutting down.

And it's honestly kind of sad, because I'm not even excited, I'm just nervous and feeling ill with stress and wondering if I should even leave my honestly pretty cool nonprofit job to to get a history MA. I should mention that despite this rant, I am taking means to get calmer -- trying to get a appointment fitted in with my therapist, asking Canadian schools for a slight extension, checking in with my alma mata on when the fellowships with be announced exactly, etc. It also sounds like my work is willing to allow me to work remotely, but I still feel anxious and prematurely homesick at the idea of moving 5+ hours away (I did not move for undergrad). It is nice to write this all out on a venting thread though!

Edited March 15, 2020 by starshiphistory

[Cheshire_Cat]

I know Covid-19 is causing problems for a lot of people, and mine are minuscule in proportion, but I still need to vent mine somewhere.

I am graduating in May with my Ph.D. Commencement is cancelled, so that sucks. But what sucks worse is that I can't go out and celebrate with my friends. I don't even know if I'll see my friends again before this is over. I live by myself, and the thought of being stuck alone in my apartment for two months is terrifying. I'm not even a social person, and it is sad. But not getting to see my friends is the worst. I knew I would have to leave them eventually, but I didn't expect it to come so quickly.
Also, I got feedback from my advisor which wasn't great... basically, the deadline to do the final defense came a lot sooner than I remember, so I had to submit my final paper before I was really ready, and before my advisor got to look at the final draft... So he finally read it and didn't like a lot of the changes I made. Ugh. So now he wants me to change it and get it back to him by Friday and I may have to push my final defense date back. Which I guess doesn't matter now because the whole reason we were doing it so early was because I wanted to walk at commencement, which is cancelled. At least I can blame it on the virus...

[bibliophile222]

10 hours ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

But what sucks worse is that I can't go out and celebrate with my friends. I don't even know if I'll see my friends again before this is over.

I'm in a similar position. My cohort has been tight-knit from the beginning and it really bums me out that a class we had a few weeks ago was probably the last time I'll see everyone together again. I wish we had known somehow and hung out before it was too late. The sad thing is that I'm a horrible correspondent, and as much as I want to keep in touch with everyone, I can see myself drifting away over time. I have a hard time making friends, and it was wonderful to so suddenly be friends (or at least friendly acquaintainces) with 17 other people. I'm hoping I can at least keep in touch with the few who stay in-state and go out to lunch when all this is over.