Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[spectastic]

post quals senioritis is a thing. damn..

[Cheshire_Cat]

On 4/16/2018 at 9:41 AM, Adelaide9216 said:

Again, it,s the language barrier I guess because I am being misunderstood entirely on this. I don't want to get married and have kids now and I never said that I wanted to have kids and get married at 26. I am saying this to make a comparision statement, because I can't even have a boyfriend. I've already had an "exploration" phase for the last 5 years+ and I'm sick of it. I just wish I could have an official relationship, even if it's for 3 months. I've been free my entire life, met new people for my entire life and I did everything I wanted personally and professionally speaking, and now I wish I could experience something different. It's legitimate and I should never be told that it's not just because I am in my mid 20s. 

I know how you feel. I'm 28, and I've dated, but only ever been in one relationship. It isn't any fun watching everyone else couple up while you are still single. And the married people and people who are/have been in serious relationships really don't understand. Freedom is great, but at some point you just want someone who is your special person who you can do stuff with and feel like you belong. And it doesn't matter what culture says or does, it is about your feelings.

[Adelaide9216]

30 minutes ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

I know how you feel. I'm 28, and I've dated, but only ever been in one relationship. It isn't any fun watching everyone else couple up while you are still single. And the married people and people who are/have been in serious relationships really don't understand. Freedom is great, but at some point you just want someone who is your special person who you can do stuff with and feel like you belong. And it doesn't matter what culture says or does, it is about your feelings.

Exactly. Thank you for understanding. I just wish I could construct something meaningful in a relationship (not with friends, I have plenty of friends) and having struggled my entire life to find that makes me very sad. It is truly what is missing in my life. Being in love with someone that genuinely loves you back seems like a truly transformative experience, and I am very sad that I never got the opportunity to experience that. 

Edited April 28, 2018 by Adelaide9216

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

soooo housing search is still going on ehhh

you'd think university housing would allow leases to begin in August when, you know, classes start...

I can't afford to move in July ??

[samman1994]

Leaving for my PhD has become the most bittersweet moment in my life. On one hand everyone is happy I got in and excited for me to start this journey (including myself), saying congratulations and asking all kinds of questions about how it'll be and helping me find a place to live. On the other hand everyone is also sad, especially my family, close friends, and girlfriend. Sometimes crying about missing me, and how they won't see me for 4-5 years (outside of my occasional visits). A discussion about my PhD can basically go from happy to sad in a blink of an eye, one second we're all talking excitedly on a place I found or classes I'd be taking, next second they're crying that I'll be leaving. I always thought it would become this great exciting thing (and it is), but I never considered the sad portion of me leaving everyone behind and how difficult it would be. It just really sucks at time. 

[Adelaide9216]

- I feel very lonely and depressed today.

- I got a billion things to do and yet, I feel like I don't even know where to begin and that I have plenty of time to do them. 

[jocorac]

I'm currently working two part-time jobs before school starts, and it is DRIVING ME CRAZY. Covering shifts nonstop and its really making me want to start school now. All I can think is about my last day in August and not having to work again till the summer. Earlier this week I also received the first syllabus for my one of my classes. Books have been ordered and are coming in which makes me excited yet nervous. I have to urge to try and plan/organize my life now so that by August, I can have a full week of resting( which probably won't happen). I'm so anxious for this to start but nervous. I really am trying to enjoy my summer but honestly, I don't want to be too far behind when school starts, even though I know that is probably gonna be difficult especially dealing with a new school and professors. Hopefully, things will get better and time goes on. The countdown is now at 3months and 3 days till my first day of school. 

[historygeek]

I'm p much going in blind to grad school apps and I'm 99.9% sure I probably won't get into any schools ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I really screwed myself over freshman year so now my cumulative GPA is only a 3.45. And of goddamn course I want to be an academic so I'm gonna be struggling to get into these really good schools, I think my interests are dumb/impractical in the long run, and I genuinely have no idea what I'm doing lmao

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

I've been thinking and I am really not in a hurry to stop being a student. I enjoy school.

If after my Ph.D. I cannot get any academic position, I have no qualms about trying law school or med school. The latter is more interesting and fun but the former is easier to get into. The thought of leaving school in my mid-30s does give me some anxiety in the sense that I keep seeing people from my generation popping out babies and buying cars and stuff--but I do not want that myself. Maybe--asides from academics (I'm 99% sure that's my path right now)--I don't know much about what I want. I want to do something that makes me feel alive and where I can interact with people.

I also want to live abroad. I crave new languages and cultures. When did I become an adult? 

[XVIIA]

I've been out of school and in the workforce for several years, and I am currently struggling with the worst "senioritis" of my life. I don't leave for school until September, and I'm having trouble keeping my focus on the present and not getting carried away in my future plans. It's made SO much worse because over the past few weeks there's been talk among the higher-ups about how the company might be dropping some or all of the projects that my group does. We might even be getting laid off in a few months. So my eagerness to take my next step is snowballing with the idea that a lot of what I'm working on right now might not even matter in a few months, and every day of work is a struggle.

In high school and undergrad, senioritis was never an issue for me because there was still the motivation of getting good final grades and ending on a good note. But as it is, I'm going to be leaving before my next performance reviews/bonus, many of my yearly goals will go uncompleted anyway, and all this work might not even matter by the time I leave. I find myself hoping that I get laid off with a nice severance package and can just be done with it all, but even THAT won't happen for at least a month or more. Ughhhhhhh.

 

[Cheshire_Cat]

9 hours ago, XVIIA said:

I've been out of school and in the workforce for several years, and I am currently struggling with the worst "senioritis" of my life. I don't leave for school until September, and I'm having trouble keeping my focus on the present and not getting carried away in my future plans. It's made SO much worse because over the past few weeks there's been talk among the higher-ups about how the company might be dropping some or all of the projects that my group does. We might even be getting laid off in a few months. So my eagerness to take my next step is snowballing with the idea that a lot of what I'm working on right now might not even matter in a few months, and every day of work is a struggle.

In high school and undergrad, senioritis was never an issue for me because there was still the motivation of getting good final grades and ending on a good note. But as it is, I'm going to be leaving before my next performance reviews/bonus, many of my yearly goals will go uncompleted anyway, and all this work might not even matter by the time I leave. I find myself hoping that I get laid off with a nice severance package and can just be done with it all, but even THAT won't happen for at least a month or more. Ughhhhhhh.

 

I remember those days. I got my acceptance letter right as the project I was on went to hell, so there were many times when I just wanted to quit and become a coffee barista for a few months. But I persevered and had a really good summer with the firm I was at, and I was able to put more in savings, so I'm glad I stayed.

[XVIIA]

15 hours ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

I remember those days. I got my acceptance letter right as the project I was on went to hell, so there were many times when I just wanted to quit and become a coffee barista for a few months. But I persevered and had a really good summer with the firm I was at, and I was able to put more in savings, so I'm glad I stayed.

I have literally considered that exact plan (even the coffee barista part), so it's really good to hear that you found it worth it to stay! When did you tell your employer that you were leaving? I haven't told anyone at my job about my plans yet...

[Cheshire_Cat]

58 minutes ago, XVIIA said:

I have literally considered that exact plan (even the coffee barista part), so it's really good to hear that you found it worth it to stay! When did you tell your employer that you were leaving? I haven't told anyone at my job about my plans yet...

Haha! Coffee barista is a good back-up job. If you read pages 48-51 of this thread, you can see my whole saga and feelings about my old job, if it makes you feel any better. For the record, I was much more angry back then than I am today, lol.

Long story short, I told them about a month before classes started (I lived in the same metropolitan area as my school and wasn't moving).  I had a job where they needed to train someone to take over and they were expecting me to be there and making plans, so I did want to give them some heads up.  However, when you give your two weeks, some companies just let you go then, so I made sure it was financially feasible for me to survive without a paycheck or two if they did that.  I told them I would be willing to work the whole month if they wanted me to, and they chose to keep me on for the entire month.

[XVIIA]

25 minutes ago, Cheshire_Cat said:

Haha! Coffee barista is a good back-up job. If you read pages 48-51 of this thread, you can see my whole saga and feelings about my old job, if it makes you feel any better. For the record, I was much more angry back then than I am today, lol.

Long story short, I told them about a month before classes started (I lived in the same metropolitan area as my school and wasn't moving).  I had a job where they needed to train someone to take over and they were expecting me to be there and making plans, so I did want to give them some heads up.  However, when you give your two weeks, some companies just let you go then, so I made sure it was financially feasible for me to survive without a paycheck or two if they did that.  I told them I would be willing to work the whole month if they wanted me to, and they chose to keep me on for the entire month.

Thanks! I'm in a similar position where it will take some time to acquire and train a replacement (assuming we all still have jobs at the end of the summer, anyway.) I have been trying to balance the idea of telling people I'm leaving early enough to not screw anyone over while not telling them so early that I risk being let go before I'm truly ready. Well, before the logical part of me is ready, not the part of me that wants to walk out tomorrow and never return. During a career-development themed one-on-one meeting, the director of my group asked me pretty point-blank what my plans were for future education, and it felt so shady to be like "oh, I've been thinking of going back to get my PhD at some point" while I had two offers I was deciding between. Sigh.

[PokePsych]

My selfdoubt and insecurities are getting the best of me. I have this proposal laying around from my Masters that I want to send to my new PI who asked to develop a project already together over the summer. It totally fits his research so I should be OK in that area. The prof who graded this proposal in my Masters was crazy about it and I have had other very positive comments on it too. I do also personally believe it's a good idea. It's bold, but it makes a lot of sense. And it's a project I really want to do. But for real - I'm just second guessing myself and imposter syndrome is hitting me hard suddenly. UGH> HATE WHEN IM IN THIS STATE OF MIND.

[Carly Rae Jepsen]

Sooo I still haven't quit this summer job which I despise. Why? I don't know. I've made almost enough money for moving, though!

[Adelaide9216]

On 5/24/2018 at 11:35 PM, Psygeek said:

My selfdoubt and insecurities are getting the best of me. I have this proposal laying around from my Masters that I want to send to my new PI who asked to develop a project already together over the summer. It totally fits his research so I should be OK in that area. The prof who graded this proposal in my Masters was crazy about it and I have had other very positive comments on it too. I do also personally believe it's a good idea. It's bold, but it makes a lot of sense. And it's a project I really want to do. But for real - I'm just second guessing myself and imposter syndrome is hitting me hard suddenly. UGH> HATE WHEN IM IN THIS STATE OF MIND.

Do it anyway. I'm sure you'll be amazing. I also have impostor syndrome (which I feel is quite common among women) and everytime I decided to surpass it, life has given me the greatest rewards. I believe in you & obviously, other people do as well! ❤️ 

[Adelaide9216]

If this man was single, I really believe that we've would've been a very solid & happy couple. 

[PokePsych]

5 hours ago, Adelaide9216 said:

Do it anyway. I'm sure you'll be amazing. I also have impostor syndrome (which I feel is quite common among women) and everytime I decided to surpass it, life has given me the greatest rewards. I believe in you & obviously, other people do as well! ❤️ 

Thank you ❤️ I did send it last night (weekend on the other side of the world - so no reply yet - fortunately). I now regret not sending something a little bit more 'modest' haha - but then again, my 'big and bold' ideas (not my words) were well received and my former department so whatever. Let's see how far I can push it.

[Cheshire_Cat]

There is a guy that I think is interested in me, but it is at the very beginning stages, and I'm trying not to over analyze or get my hopes up. It's hard. I'm satisfied with who I am right now and I don't need anyone to make me happy... But it was so fun to go out to dinner with him and talk and flirt and laugh a whole lot. With most guys I'm interested in, I don't like to open up, but I can talk to him for hours. IDK. We'll see what happens.

[Adelaide9216]

On 5/28/2018 at 9:43 PM, Cheshire_Cat said:

There is a guy that I think is interested in me, but it is at the very beginning stages, and I'm trying not to over analyze or get my hopes up. It's hard. I'm satisfied with who I am right now and I don't need anyone to make me happy... But it was so fun to go out to dinner with him and talk and flirt and laugh a whole lot. With most guys I'm interested in, I don't like to open up, but I can talk to him for hours. IDK. We'll see what happens.

Good luck! ❤️ 

[Adelaide9216]

I was moderating a panel today and for two minutes, I was very confused about what it is I was supposed to do exactly due to the instructions I had received prior to the event. Turned out okay, but I felt useless and like I did not know what I was doing and being the perfectionnist that I am, I don't like feeling like this in front of a crowd. It went well, but it could've been better. But yeah, it's done. 

[PokePsych]

12 hours ago, Adelaide9216 said:

I was moderating a panel today and for two minutes, I was very confused about what it is I was supposed to do exactly due to the instructions I had received prior to the event. Turned out okay, but I felt useless and like I did not know what I was doing and being the perfectionnist that I am, I don't like feeling like this in front of a crowd. It went well, but it could've been better. But yeah, it's done. 

Dont let your perfectionism get the best of you! I know how it feels. But try to approach things as a opportunity to learn - it helps me so much really.

[Adelaide9216]

I just paid my driving lessons! ?

[lemma]

The awkward moment when grad school is going so badly that you have nothing to add to the positivity thread.