Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

[katpillow]

"My stellar academic record, conference presentations, and flight experience were apparently no match for the Academy's rigorous expectations."

 

(Applied to The Imperial Academy's TIE Fighter Pilot Program)

[nightfarmer]

Haha, here's a good one from today: Each word in their rejection notification cost me $1.55...

Edited January 28, 2016 by nightfarmer
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[gingin6789]

Some good ones from the past few days:

University of Texas (Austin) rejections:

Quote

No tacos for me.

 

 

Quote

 I knew I didn't have much of a chance. But it was still disappointing and I said a lot of bad words when I saw it. *beep* *beep* *beep* (That was the censored version)

 

UC Santa Barbara rejections:

Quote

 Not that great fit, but still sad not to wear a bathing suit all the time.

 

 

Quote

 I mean who wants to go to school steps near virtual paradise anyway? Investing in sunscreen is so overrated.

 

Edited January 30, 2016 by gingin6789

[hippyscientist]

Just saw this and it made me sad. When I visited USC it seemed like an awesome place. Sure the location isn't the safest, but then where is these days?  They've put a decent amount of preventative and precautionary measures in place from what I could tell.

ีUniversity Of Southern California

Physics, PhD (F16)

Accepted via E-mail on 2 Feb 2016 ♦

I

2 Feb 2016

report spam My first offer. Still waiting for a better one. Love CQIST but USC is really a dangerous place for Chinese students...

[SLPgradstudent]

17 minutes ago, piglet33 said:

Just saw this and it made me sad. When I visited USC it seemed like an awesome place. Sure the location isn't the safest, but then where is these days?  They've put a decent amount of preventative and precautionary measures in place from what I could tell.

ีUniversity Of Southern California

Physics, PhD (F16)

Accepted via E-mail on 2 Feb 2016 ♦

I

2 Feb 2016

report spam My first offer. Still waiting for a better one. Love CQIST but USC is really a dangerous place for Chinese students...

That is really sad.  Particularly since the poster seems to feel like being Chinese is what makes it dangerous for him/her.

[lousyconnection]

Columbia English 2015 had some really good ones, particularly:

and this sad one

and these salty af ones:

 

1 hour ago, piglet33 said:

Just saw this and it made me sad. When I visited USC it seemed like an awesome place. Sure the location isn't the safest, but then where is these days?  They've put a decent amount of preventative and precautionary measures in place from what I could tell.

ีUniversity Of Southern California

Physics, PhD (F16)

Accepted via E-mail on 2 Feb 2016 ♦

I

2 Feb 2016

report spam My first offer. Still waiting for a better one. Love CQIST but USC is really a dangerous place for Chinese students...

That's such a bummer. Best wishes to the poster. I lived a block north of USC the summer after I graduated a couple years ago, that security was elaborate. But then you leave campus. Someone was bludgeoned to death 200 feet from our gate, right about the time of night when I would take a walk. Luckily I was out of town at the time...

[kseeful]

On 1/28/2016 at 2:05 PM, nightfarmer said:

Haha, here's a good one from today: Each word in their rejection notification cost me $1.55...

Totally going to calculate this for mine when I get them :'D

[RCtheSS]

Just saw this one, made me chuckle a bit.

 

 

[The Interdisciplinarian]

Oh, man, these are hilarious. This is absolutely cheering me up as I wait. And wait. And wait.

[teacherM7]

University Of Chicago	English, PhD (F16)	Rejected via E-mail on 11 Feb 2016	A	11 Feb 2016	Referred to MAPH program... I think I will instead choose the option where I don't pay $50k for the pleasure of being rejected.
University Of Chicago	English, PhD (F16)	Rejected via E-mail on 11 Feb 2016	A	11 Feb 2016	Referred to the MAPH program. No thanks.
University Of Chicago	English, PhD (F16)	Rejected via E-mail on 11 Feb 2016 ♦	A	11 Feb 2016	Rejected from PhD program. "We would love to forward your application to the MAPH program . . ." nah, brah

These three super recent additions had me (sympathetically) cracking up too.

@The Interdisciplinarian The waiting, waiting, waiting is so tough. I've no patience.

[DC1020]

People really hate the MAPH program, huh?

[FoxAndChicken]

41 minutes ago, DC1020 said:

People really hate the MAPH program, huh?

Omg look at the Philosophy Chicago ones from today. So much salt. 

[holycat]

I like the self-consoling ones...

University Of Texas At Austin

Creative Writing (Fiction), MFA (F16), MFA (F16)

Rejected via E-mail on 12 Feb 2016

12 Feb 2016

report spam Eh. Good money. Faculty quality has really declined though.

[fortsibut]

Not a funny one, per se, but the wording on it was interesting:

"Rejected for not being a 'fit' due to my interest in a certain theory/therapy type. APA and ACA Ethics violation."

I'd like to hear more of that story.

(Sorry, not sure how to just link an image of the line like other people are doing)

[fortsibut]

And another one, this one pretty butthurt:

"I'm such a winner because I didn't get into any schools in my first cycle so that I have to pay $$$ to get a useless mater degree. I score perfectly on GRE (btw, if you want to know, it's 321, I doubt if anyone can beat me). And USC only gives me $28,930 each year. Are they stupid? They aren't going to get me with this. I belong to Harvard. We will see"

[pbnwhey]

And the one that was right before that....sounds like some serious privilege issues. 

[RCtheSS]

Wow to both of those. I guess I can understand their frustrations a bit more since it's a doctorate program but still,  what a harsh tone to take.

[Demeter]

^^^ The two above make me rage. Those are offers from good schools! And here I am biting my nails, wondering if I'll get enough funding to eat AND buy dog food. 

I'm sorry. I'm not a bitter crone, I'm not. Just maybe my perceptions of a good offer are skewed. I know it's Southern CA, but geez… they got into schools many people did not, and they were offered funding. No matter what, that's positive on some level. 

[nevermind]

3 minutes ago, RCtheSS said:

Wow to both of those. I guess I can understand their frustrations a bit more since it's a doctorate program but still,  what a harsh tone to take.

I feel like the 321 post is making fun of the 320 GRE post (mentioning the master's degree, mentioning 1 point above the other poster's GRE, using a phrase like "such a winner" juxtaposed with "had to do a useless Master's...implying that they really aren't that good...talking about a "perfect" GRE when it isn't exactly a 340).

 

FWIW, I had an interview with UCSD (I know, it's not USC) and I'd be over the moon with a 27K offer/stipend. Alas, c'est la vie. 

Edited February 16, 2016 by nevermind

[sjoh197]

3 minutes ago, Demeter said:

^^^ The two above make me rage. Those are offers from good schools! And here I am biting my nails, wondering if I'll get enough funding to eat AND buy dog food. 

I'm sorry. I'm not a bitter crone, I'm not. Just maybe my perceptions of a good offer are skewed. I know it's Southern CA, but geez… they got into schools many people did not, and they were offered funding. No matter what, that's positive on some level. 

My cat gets sick if I don't buy only the best premium, all meat, no beef canned cat food. She eats better than I do I think. 

[RCtheSS]

3 minutes ago, nevermind said:

I feel like the 321 post is making fun of the 320 GRE post (mentioning the master's degree, mentioning 1 point above the other poster's GRE, using a phrase like "such a winner" juxtaposed with "had to do a useless Master's...implying that they really aren't that good...talking about a "perfect" GRE when it isn't exactly a 340).

 

FWIW, I had an interview with UCSD (I know, it's not USC) and I'd be over the moon with a 27K offer/stipend. Alas, c'est la vie. 

Good call, it does read like satire upon second glance.

Between this, the Chicago philosophy results and the Trump/student visa comment, I'm not used to the results search being so hostile! 

[Demeter]

@sjoh197 I've got a chocolate lab. He's a working dog, so he eats like one. He's also a bit spoiled. I've occasionally been able to find coupons for his brand, but rarely. He definitely eats better than I do! 

[gingin6789]

2 hours ago, fortsibut said:

And another one, this one pretty butthurt:

"I'm such a winner because I didn't get into any schools in my first cycle so that I have to pay $$$ to get a useless mater degree. I score perfectly on GRE (btw, if you want to know, it's 321, I doubt if anyone can beat me). And USC only gives me $28,930 each year. Are they stupid? They aren't going to get me with this. I belong to Harvard. We will see"

 

All I could think of:

 

 

 

[Demeter]

@gingin6789 So much love for that meme. Perfectly applied!  

[gingin6789]

32 minutes ago, Demeter said:

@gingin6789 So much love for that meme. Perfectly applied!  

Isn't it perfect?? I love this meme so much! I'm glad you also appreciated it! Thanks :-)