Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[Cheshire_Cat]

On 9/20/2019 at 9:58 AM, Evie95 said:

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

I don't think that should be tolerated. His adviser may not realize how bad it was and just think you have thin skin. Hopefully the student's behavior will become apparent in other ways so that his advisor knows what he is dealing with. You may also request that any further discussions with this guy happen in an open space or with the door open rather than closed. I don't think that is unreasonable to request given that you are a small female and he is a large male. You don't have to make it about him, it is about you feeling comfortable and safe.

[JuniusBattius]

my advisor doesn't care about my work, doesn't respect graduate students/treats them like slave labor, writes me incoherent letters of recommendation, and -- to top it all off -- STILL hasn't published since 2015

 

[feralgrad]

On 9/20/2019 at 9:58 AM, Evie95 said:

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

Have you considered asking the clinical professor to back you up? Not sure if that would be appropriate, but I agree that that's unacceptable. You're right: this is a workplace, not a daycare, and a grown man should not be allowed to throw a temper tantrum. Quite frankly, I don't think someone so immature and aggressive belongs in a PhD program...

[feralgrad]

I'm in the process of my second round MFA applications, and I've started contacting my LoR writers again. Somehow I feel like I'm asking so much by sending a new writing sample and requesting them to update my reference. I'm still doing it, since I need to, but it's making me anxious. I hate asking for favors!

[Adelaide9216]

I'm feeling a little blue, anxious and lonely today.

[Sigaba]

¿Are prescription eyeglasses supposed to make things blurrier or clearer?

[bibliophile222]

No offense, physics people, I truly don't intend to dump on your field and think it's a very important and admirable field of study... but God, do I hate it with a fiery passion. I just took a 2.5 hour exam that I'll be lucky if I get a C+ on. I've never worked this hard in my life to get such crappy grades. I'm praying I get a C for the course or else I'll need to take another physical science course before I graduate in May. Part of (or the entire) problem is that it's online and the textbook sucks. I understand the professor's videos (although they're too short and don't have enough examples) and I get almost all of the conceptual questions. However, the equations aren't explained in enough detail--even in the step-by-step examples (which there are not enough of) they'll use some weird equation that's a variant of one used elsewhere but not explicitly introduced, so I have no idea why they're using it or how to set up similar problems. The homework answer keys will also occasionally describe or perform a step differently than the book does, leaving me extra confused. The kicker is that I'm generally decent at math (164 on the GRE!) and was therefore not expecting it to be this freaking difficult. I'd supplement my learning with Kahn Academy videos, but I'm too damn busy with all my other work. ? 

The REALLY obnoxious thing is that this course has almost nothing to do with my field (the only applicable parts are Bernoulli's principle and sound waves) but our governing body recently changed the certification requirements to include mandatory coursework in chemistry or physics and I got stuck taking this in grad school instead of undergrad when it would have been more manageable.

Now I'm fried, annoyed, and frustrated and I have to work on an assignment for a class I actually do care about but do not have enough energy to concentrate on right now. 

Okay, rant is over now.

 

[PokePsych]

On 9/20/2019 at 9:58 AM, Evie95 said:

I'm a 3rd year PhD student who just passed comps over the summer and started teaching this semester. Yesterday 30 minutes before my lecture, a 2nd year PhD student barged in my office, slammed the door shut, and started yelling at me over a simple misunderstanding. Being a small female who was yelled at by a large guy with the office door closed, I was terrified. His yelling was so loud that the female clinical professor across the hall even heard everything and came to check up on me after he left. I was really shaken up but I still had to pull myself together to go to class and lecture. After the class, I finally had time to process everything and started crying uncontrollably. I went to speak with his advisor and told him about the situation. Surprisingly, he wasn't very empathetic with my situation and indicated how being yelled at is not uncommon and it will happen again and again after I become a professor. 

Is this really what academia is like? I come from a culture where such behavior will never be tolerated in the workplace. I have never been yelled at the way he yelled at me my entire life, and to think that he's also a PhD student, not my boss or anything. I'm really becoming disappointed with this profession. 

You may want to bring this up to somebody else (either confidentially, such as an ombudsperson; or someone like the dean of grad students, your own advisor, etc.) - not necessarily his advisor. Nobody has the right to yell and intimidate you like that, regardless of the situation. 

[_angua]

I haven't been able to furnish or really settle into my apartment in my new city because my partner had to stay behind and work for a few more weeks after I started my program, and also three weeks in I discovered I had bedbugs! It is being dealt with but I'm in a large building dealing with a distant, pretty lazy management company and it's causing me so much stress and distraction from getting used to being a grad student. I also feel very alone and homesick without my partner or family to help me cope with this situation. I've just been going to campus every day pretending everything is fine but whenever someone asks how I'm adjusting to my program I immediately freeze and then have to lie out of it. It sucks folks!!

[Cheshire_Cat]

On 10/5/2019 at 9:33 PM, _angua said:

I haven't been able to furnish or really settle into my apartment in my new city because my partner had to stay behind and work for a few more weeks after I started my program, and also three weeks in I discovered I had bedbugs! It is being dealt with but I'm in a large building dealing with a distant, pretty lazy management company and it's causing me so much stress and distraction from getting used to being a grad student. I also feel very alone and homesick without my partner or family to help me cope with this situation. I've just been going to campus every day pretending everything is fine but whenever someone asks how I'm adjusting to my program I immediately freeze and then have to lie out of it. It sucks folks!!

You are not alone. You don't need to pretend everything is going perfectly. I found that most people have a lot of sympathy for PhD students and understand how hard it is to get adjusted. Don't be whiny about it, but maybe talk to an older student about what is going on and see if they have any advice for you. If anything, a listening ear is always comforting.

[Adelaide9216]

It's reading week, I did nothing in terms of school-work and RAship, so I feel guilty.

[Cheshire_Cat]

I'm depressed. Ok, not really, but I'm just emotionally tumultuous. There isn't a "good" reason for it, it is just the stress of finishing my dissertation and finding a job and teaching two different classes. It's made me an emotional mess. Six months and this process will be over. I remember getting my acceptance and then having to wait 6 months to start, and that being a painful time. Well, this might be worse. I've been here for almost 5 years. It seems so long. At this point most of my adult life has been as a graduate student. I'm ready to have a career job, haha.

[Physicsisphysics]

I'm really nervous and stressed about my apps. I've been working on them non-stop since May, since I got back my physics GRE score from the April administration and found out I didn't do so hot. I re-took and didn't do any better. I'm decently confident in my app, but every so often I just get deeply worried, stressed, and anxious that all my four years of work might mean nothing to my dream schools because of this one test. Literally been working on trying to optimize every parameter of my app since May just because I'm so damn nervous and anxious. I don't think most people start until October....

IDK if anybody would be open to a chance me, but if so, just message me or check the GRE subforum where I posted my stats there. 

[fixology]

On 10/26/2019 at 11:54 AM, Cheshire_Cat said:

I'm depressed. Ok, not really, but I'm just emotionally tumultuous. There isn't a "good" reason for it, it is just the stress of finishing my dissertation and finding a job and teaching two different classes. It's made me an emotional mess. Six months and this process will be over. I remember getting my acceptance and then having to wait 6 months to start, and that being a painful time. Well, this might be worse. I've been here for almost 5 years. It seems so long. At this point most of my adult life has been as a graduate student. I'm ready to have a career job, haha.

That's a lot for one person to process at one time. Job applications on their own can feel like a full time job, haha. But you're almost there! 6 months will be here before you know it.

[tatobe]

Seriously, I am terrified out of my mind about this PhD process. I have wanted my PhD for a really long time and it's my dream and it can soon become a reality or NOT! This is probably one of the MOST terrifying experiences that I have ever had in my ENTIRE life. Wondering if I'm good enough or not. Smart enough or not. Or if I just did the statement of purpose in the right sort of way? I am totally freaked out, and scared beyond belief. Someone save me! I really don't care what school I get into, I just want to get into a school. I want my PhD. Will the gods of all of the universe PLEASE just grant me my wish? I don't even need ivy league. I just need a chance, as I do NOT wish to reapply for next year!

[EmmaJeanB]

I'm just tense. Nothing is going on "my timing". I was expecting to hear back from two schools I applied to by now (potential advisors told me I'll hear back around Christmas). My now ex-boyfriend dumped me while we were on vacation last week, and I was hoping not to go through the PhD journey alone. A fellowship I applied to back in September is greatly stalling the decisions. 

I really want to book a one way flight to an island, I have the money, but I'm on my last semester of graduate school. I have to keep pushing but I'm  very uncomfortable. 

[bibliophile222]

I'm just starting my second week of interning in a preschool and I've already caught a cold. Germy kids.

[PsychHopeful2020]

My publication has been "Ready for decision" for a week! How long do these things take? I'm really hoping to be able to talk about it in interviews and be able to say it's accepted............. come on!

[PsychHopeful2020]

On 1/19/2020 at 9:12 AM, tatobe said:

Seriously, I am terrified out of my mind about this PhD process. I have wanted my PhD for a really long time and it's my dream and it can soon become a reality or NOT! This is probably one of the MOST terrifying experiences that I have ever had in my ENTIRE life. Wondering if I'm good enough or not. Smart enough or not. Or if I just did the statement of purpose in the right sort of way? I am totally freaked out, and scared beyond belief. Someone save me! I really don't care what school I get into, I just want to get into a school. I want my PhD. Will the gods of all of the universe PLEASE just grant me my wish? I don't even need ivy league. I just need a chance, as I do NOT wish to reapply for next year!

Such a mood right now!!!!!! Going insane!

[tatobe]

5 hours ago, PsychHopeful2020 said:

Such a mood right now!!!!!! Going insane!

 I feel you in so many ways! Nerve wracking and feel like I've done an awful lot of work for no particular reason if those acceptances don't come back! LOL 

[Adelaide9216]

I wish I knew about the outcome of my application for the Trudeau scholarship. The waiting is horrible, and it appears that the finalists were already contacted. 

[feralgrad]

For the second year in a row, I find myself waiting on funding info. I'm terrified that after getting close to achieving my dream, I'll be passed up again...

[fauna876]

How is it that every single rejection I’ve received (2 schools and Fulbright), I haven’t received an email, it’s just posted on the portal. Is that the norm now?  I don’t think it’s that complicated to mail merge and send a boiler plate email. It makes me think my application was barely even looked at. 

[LazarusRises]

49 minutes ago, fauna876 said:

How is it that every single rejection I’ve received (2 schools and Fulbright), I haven’t received an email, it’s just posted on the portal. Is that the norm now?  I don’t think it’s that complicated to mail merge and send a boiler plate email. It makes me think my application was barely even looked at. 

That does suck. Not to prod an open wound, but did you get through round 1 of Fulbright decisions? I was rejected after getting through to the semifinals last year, and I got an email from the program. 

[fauna876]

1 hour ago, LazarusRises said:

That does suck. Not to prod an open wound, but did you get through round 1 of Fulbright decisions? I was rejected after getting through to the semifinals last year, and I got an email from the program. 

Didn’t get through the first round- I applied to a UK partnership program that’s very competitive. From the slack channel, I gathered that literally no one got an email about notification, even people who were selected as a semi finalist.