*I is stressed* venting thread for Fall 2020 Applicants

[2ndTimeHopeful]

Most of mine have been sent. I’m really only waiting on 2 at this point. 

[justacigar]

1 hour ago, EHL343 said:

I personally found it helpful to look back at last cycle's results to get a general idea of when each of my schools release their invites. Although it felt a bit insane to be scrolling through pages and pages of results, it ultimately eased a lot of stress as I now know that most of my schools e-mail in mid/late January. Good luck ☺️

I also did this! I noted the dates in my excel spreadsheet. Even though I know the remainder of schools won't be sending out anything for two or so weeks, doesn't stop me from compulsively checking my email and GradCafe for any news ? the waiting game is seriously killing me. I just want to know if I need to reapply or not!

[Justice4All]

26 minutes ago, justacigar said:

I also did this! I noted the dates in my excel spreadsheet. Even though I know the remainder of schools won't be sending out anything for two or so weeks, doesn't stop me from compulsively checking my email and GradCafe for any news ? the waiting game is seriously killing me. I just want to know if I need to reapply or not!

omg THIS!  I know that most of the programs I applied to will send out notifications the week of Jan 13-17 but I can't stop obsessively checking ?. 

[andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel]

I’ve got this offer for an interview, and I have to respond by 1/10 at the latest. But it coincides with interview day for my top choice...who probably won’t reach out til 1/13-1/17. 
 

I don’t know what to do 

[SocDevMum]

Need advice! I've only gotten one interview, and the POI made me a verbal offer of admission - but I haven't gotten anything "official" from the university yet.   It is one of my top choice programs, but I'm struggling to be excited w/o an official offer (including $$$) on paper. And I really want to wait and see if my other top pick offers me an interview.... can anyone tell me, how solid is a "verbal offer"? My mentors are all confounded by the idea of a verbal offer, and have encouraged me to not count it as a real admission just yet. So frustrating! Anyone else have any experience with this?

[ImAFreudNot]

29 minutes ago, Randi S said:

Need advice! I've only gotten one interview, and the POI made me a verbal offer of admission - but I haven't gotten anything "official" from the university yet.   It is one of my top choice programs, but I'm struggling to be excited w/o an official offer (including $$$) on paper. And I really want to wait and see if my other top pick offers me an interview.... can anyone tell me, how solid is a "verbal offer"? My mentors are all confounded by the idea of a verbal offer, and have encouraged me to not count it as a real admission just yet. So frustrating! Anyone else have any experience with this?

Every single thing I’ve heard from mentors, current grad students in my lab, forums on here, etc are very adamant about not accepting anything until you have an official offer in writing! I would tell your POI that you’re excited about and grateful for their offer, but since it’s still early in the interview season, you aren’t ready to accept their offer. Per CUDCP guidelines, people can’t force you or guilt you into accepting offers before April 15. 

[SocDevMum]

4 minutes ago, ImAFreudNot said:

Every single thing I’ve heard from mentors, current grad students in my lab, forums on here, etc are very adamant about not accepting anything until you have an official offer in writing! I would tell your POI that you’re excited about and grateful for their offer, but since it’s still early in the interview season, you aren’t ready to accept their offer. Per CUDCP guidelines, people can’t force you or guilt you into accepting offers before April 15. 

Thanks for the input - I guess my concern is, is it really a legit thing, a verbal offer? I haven't told my friends or parents about it yet, because I'm worried that it won't turn into an on-paper offer.  I did tell her I was very excited to receive a verbal offer, and am looking forward to meeting her in person at the Campus visit, because I genuinely am, it's a great program, and she encouraged me to stay in communication during the application season... I want to be exited, but I also don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, ya know?

[Vanilla Bean]

1 hour ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

I’ve got this offer for an interview, and I have to respond by 1/10 at the latest. But it coincides with interview day for my top choice...who probably won’t reach out til 1/13-1/17. 
 

I don’t know what to do 

Wait until 1/10 before you get back with the department that sent you the interview invite, just in case your top choice program contacts you before 1/10. If you do not hear from your top choice by 1/10, I would just accept the interview offer. There's no guarantee your top choice program is going to send you an invite anyway, and you don't want to miss out on this opportunity and then possibly regret it. Plus, if your top choice contacts you later, you can always decline the interview invite. 

[Modulus]

1 hour ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

I’ve got this offer for an interview, and I have to respond by 1/10 at the latest. But it coincides with interview day for my top choice...who probably won’t reach out til 1/13-1/17. 
 

I don’t know what to do 

 

11 minutes ago, lolhelp said:

Wait until 1/10 before you get back with the department that sent you the interview invite, just in case your top choice program contacts you before 1/10. If you do not hear from your top choice by 1/10, I would just accept the interview offer. There's no guarantee your top choice program is going to send you an invite anyway, and you don't want to miss out on this opportunity and then possibly regret it. Plus, if your top choice contacts you later, you can always decline the interview invite. 

I have been told that it is bad form to decline a previously accepted interview. Remember that unless you applied to a very diverse range of programs, that the PI who invited you is or will soon become someone in your field. 

I have gone with a first-come, first-accepted policy due to multiple overlapping interview dates and little pre-interview differentiation in ranking of programs/mentors. (I really want to suss out fit in person.). I don't think it can hurt to wait until 1/10, but remember that if you do get an offer from the other school, you can let them know that your travel schedule cannot accommodate that date and ask if it is possible to do an alternative interview, either in person or on skype.

I've had good success with rescheduling and found programs to be really understanding and accommodating.  I have only heard of one case of someone having an interview offer rescinded after asking for an alternative date (and this occurred years ago). 

[andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel]

15 hours ago, Modulus said:

 

I have been told that it is bad form to decline a previously accepted interview. Remember that unless you applied to a very diverse range of programs, that the PI who invited you is or will soon become someone in your field. 

I have gone with a first-come, first-accepted policy due to multiple overlapping interview dates and little pre-interview differentiation in ranking of programs/mentors. (I really want to suss out fit in person.). I don't think it can hurt to wait until 1/10, but remember that if you do get an offer from the other school, you can let them know that your travel schedule cannot accommodate that date and ask if it is possible to do an alternative interview, either in person or on skype.

I've had good success with rescheduling and found programs to be really understanding and accommodating.  I have only heard of one case of someone having an interview offer rescinded after asking for an alternative date (and this occurred years ago). 

Can you give any advice on how you've asked for an alternate date? 

[ClinicalApplicant2019]

I have an interview in two weeks and wanted to gather some feedback prior to the interview. I have a small nose stud and don't know if I should keep it in or take it out on the day of? I feel like this field in particular is accepting of tattoos and piercings, but wanted to tread lightly. So, do I take it out or leave it in with hopes of professors not caring about it?

[SoundofSilence]

9 minutes ago, ClinicalApplicant2019 said:

I have an interview in two weeks and wanted to gather some feedback prior to the interview. I have a small nose stud and don't know if I should keep it in or take it out on the day of? I feel like this field in particular is accepting of tattoos and piercings, but wanted to tread lightly. So, do I take it out or leave it in with hopes of professors not caring about it?

I had a friend that had a small nose stud. She opted to take out for interviews (as to not give rise to any questions or distract from her application in any way). 

Then after she was accepted, she put it back in and kept it throughout school. I believe she will consider it again once applications for placements/ internships start.

It can be an option. However, if you believe you want to present yourself as authentically as possible, you could keep it on.

The same thing is true for industry interviews as well - for business/ more formal events others have advised me to cover tattoos or others piercings in other to appear more "professional". Just my own opinion though.

[SoundofSilence]

17 hours ago, Randi S said:

Thanks for the input - I guess my concern is, is it really a legit thing, a verbal offer? I haven't told my friends or parents about it yet, because I'm worried that it won't turn into an on-paper offer.  I did tell her I was very excited to receive a verbal offer, and am looking forward to meeting her in person at the Campus visit, because I genuinely am, it's a great program, and she encouraged me to stay in communication during the application season... I want to be exited, but I also don't want to count my chickens before they hatch, ya know?

Yes! the verbal offer is definitely a "legit" thing :))

Many POIs do this in order to assure you and maybe entice you to come to their program before some other POI steals you away

Of course, every other poster here is right. You are under no obligation to accept anything until april. Also, you don't have to/ should not accept on the spot. You need to see the funding offer and/or wait for news from your other applications. 

However, I personally think it's ok to share with family/ close friends. I doubt it is a "trick" of some sort. I know this process makes us all a bit paranoid (been there multiple times these couples of weeks haha). My own experience this year has been that a verbal offer turned into one on paper, it just took a bit longer to receive the official one from the department and the POI wanted to let me know in advance.

So congrats! And don't fret too much, this process is anxiety inducing enough.

[hopefulgrad2019]

24 minutes ago, ClinicalApplicant2019 said:

I have an interview in two weeks and wanted to gather some feedback prior to the interview. I have a small nose stud and don't know if I should keep it in or take it out on the day of? I feel like this field in particular is accepting of tattoos and piercings, but wanted to tread lightly. So, do I take it out or leave it in with hopes of professors not caring about it?

I have a nose stud and kept it in for interviews and was accepted so I’d say keep it in if that’s what you’re most comfortable with! 

[Modulus]

48 minutes ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

Can you give any advice on how you've asked for an alternate date? 

I am happy to help and will send you an answer via PM. Anyone else with more specific questions can PM me.

[SocDevMum]

39 minutes ago, SoundofSilence said:

Yes! the verbal offer is definitely a "legit" thing :))

Many POIs do this in order to assure you and maybe entice you to come to their program before some other POI steals you away

Of course, every other poster here is right. You are under no obligation to accept anything until april. Also, you don't have to/ should not accept on the spot. You need to see the funding offer and/or wait for news from your other applications. 

However, I personally think it's ok to share with family/ close friends. I doubt it is a "trick" of some sort. I know this process makes us all a bit paranoid (been there multiple times these couples of weeks haha). My own experience this year has been that a verbal offer turned into one on paper, it just took a bit longer to receive the official one from the department and the POI wanted to let me know in advance.

So congrats! And don't fret too much, this process is anxiety inducing enough.

Thank you , I needed to hear this.  Overthinking is definitely my personality flaw, and this whole process just kicks into overdrive! 

[CatastrophizingNerd]

Who else has gotten 0 invites, and is ready to flee the country to become a bar tender in Greece?

[Schy]

11 minutes ago, CatastrophizingNerd said:

Who else has gotten 0 invites, and is ready to flee the country to become a bar tender in Greece?

??‍♀️??‍♀️??‍♀️

[Vanilla Bean]

8 hours ago, ClinicalApplicant2019 said:

I have an interview in two weeks and wanted to gather some feedback prior to the interview. I have a small nose stud and don't know if I should keep it in or take it out on the day of? I feel like this field in particular is accepting of tattoos and piercings, but wanted to tread lightly. So, do I take it out or leave it in with hopes of professors not caring about it?

I would take it out.. But then again I'm just a very paranoid person when it comes to things like this (in fact, this is the main reason why I have not gotten a nose piercing myself). I would take it out, and then wear it to go to school if you are accepted into the program. 

[Psychological Yam]

if i get any interviews, i plan on keeping my nose ring in. i've had it for 5 years at this point and have never taken it out. i wouldn't want to go to a program that would hold a nose piercing against me. it's 2020 and if any field should understand that tattoos and piercings aren't predictors of success / failure in grad school, it's psychology.

[Chugwater2020]

6 hours ago, CatastrophizingNerd said:

Who else has gotten 0 invites, and is ready to flee the country to become a bar tender in Greece?

Me.  Me.  Me.  

[Alley]

On 1/4/2020 at 9:02 PM, Modulus said:

 

I have been told that it is bad form to decline a previously accepted interview. Remember that unless you applied to a very diverse range of programs, that the PI who invited you is or will soon become someone in your field. 

I have gone with a first-come, first-accepted policy due to multiple overlapping interview dates and little pre-interview differentiation in ranking of programs/mentors. (I really want to suss out fit in person.). I don't think it can hurt to wait until 1/10, but remember that if you do get an offer from the other school, you can let them know that your travel schedule cannot accommodate that date and ask if it is possible to do an alternative interview, either in person or on skype.

I've had good success with rescheduling and found programs to be really understanding and accommodating.  I have only heard of one case of someone having an interview offer rescinded after asking for an alternative date (and this occurred years ago). 

I already accepted interview (confirmed with POI) from my lower choice at the early of December, but I just got the interview invite from my top choice. And they're on the same day!! Could you please tell me how should I email POI from the first school? I really do not want to leave a bad impression....Thank you so much!

[justacigar]

I'm in this weird limbo space with one of my programs right now. Interview invites already went out, and so did alternate and rejection notifications, but I never received anything. I just called and they see me in the system, rated by the faculty, but I'm not on any of the final lists. Aaaggghhhhh! I just want to know for sure. Just give me my rejection, don't give me hope!

[CatastrophizingNerd]

5 hours ago, justacigar said:

I'm in this weird limbo space with one of my programs right now. Interview invites already went out, and so did alternate and rejection notifications, but I never received anything. I just called and they see me in the system, rated by the faculty, but I'm not on any of the final lists. Aaaggghhhhh! I just want to know for sure. Just give me my rejection, don't give me hope!

Hold on, does that mean you're on the waitlist or did they just forget to update you? 

[justacigar]

1 minute ago, CatastrophizingNerd said:

Hold on, does that mean you're on the waitlist or did they just forget to update you? 

They just straight up forgot about me ?‍♀️ wasn't given an invite, wasn't given a rejection or an alternate notification. LOL the coordinator seemed dumbfounded that could even happen. This is by far the most complicated way I'll get rejected this year