Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[courtc8891]

Friend: So where are you going next year?
Me: Oh, well most applications were only due 10 days ago so I won't even know if I've been accepted anywhere for a couple months.
Significant other cuts in: Well, our first choice is University X, but University Y wouldn't be so bad, the weather is nice there and when I visit we could go to tourist attractions A, B and C.
Me: No... no, that's not how this works... 

[RubyBright]

Friend: So where are you going next year?

Me: Oh, well most applications were only due 10 days ago so I won't even know if I've been accepted anywhere for a couple months.

Significant other cuts in: Well, our first choice is University X, but University Y wouldn't be so bad, the weather is nice there and when I visit we could go to tourist attractions A, B and C.

Me: No... no, that's not how this works... 

 

Definitely the, "where are you going next year?" part; and then they rarely seem to understand why you don't know yet. As for your significant other... heh. 

[33andathirdRPM]

 

I rofl'ed hard.

[Darth.Vegan]

I hate the pressure of everyone expecting me to get into a great program. Yeah, I was the standout in my department at my lowly state flagship R1, that doesn't mean jack compared to the pool of applicants I'm competing against. Even some of my professors, who do not understand just how competitive it has gotten since they applied, expect me to get accepted into a top 30 program. It's driving me a bit nuts. 

[uromastyx]

What's your number one choice? ("Please articulate all your hopes and dreams, thus strengthening your desire and exacerbating your fears of failure.")

[practical cat]

What's your number one choice? ("Please articulate all your hopes and dreams, thus strengthening your desire and exacerbating your fears of failure.")

"The place that accepts me."

"No, really. What's your number one choice?"

[AnthroPerson]

My father, upon seeing that I once used the phrase "sh*t" on Facebook (context: "oh man there needs to be a Sh*t [Friend's Name] Says!"

"Grad schools are going to see that and then they won't want you! That's very unladylike"

Why thank you, as if I wasn't already stressed out enough, now I need to worry about the totally harmless and inoffensive things I say on a friends private, protected facebook wall. Excuse me while I go get my tinfoil hat.

Edited January 27, 2013 by mochicologa

[RubyBright]

My father, upon seeing that I once used the phrase "sh*t" on Facebook (context: "oh man there needs to be a Sh*t [Friend's Name] Says!"

"Grad schools are going to see that and then they won't want you! That's very unladylike"

Why thank you, as if I wasn't already stressed out enough, now I need to worry about the totally harmless and inoffensive things I say on a friends private, protected facebook wall. Excuse me while I go get my tinfoil hat.

 

Thankfully, you're not being accepted based on your grasp of traditional womanhood... If you were, you'd be out of luck, since women didn't used to be very welcome in upper academia!

[amlobo]

I second, third, whatever the question about your first choice. If I happen to actually get accepted to a few programs and am given a "choice", I will decide then! Until then, anyone who will take me, lol.

Also, hubby is basing his ranking on where we can see our alma mater play the most football games. Luckily (or unluckily?), that happens to be at a top 5 program, lol.

[abilap]

I am probably one of the few nutjobs who has a website.  That's right... a website!  So now I follow [obsessively] my website analytics to figure out where the hits come from and how long they are spending there.  I can report that Princeton and Yale have started looking at applications.

Hey BrazilianBuddy!!  Have you heard from Yale?  How do you know that they are looking at apps?

thanks!

[Datatape]

"Hey, shouldn't you be hearing back from some of these schools soon?"
 

[apotheosis]

"Hey, shouldn't you be hearing back from some of these schools soon?"

 

[33andathirdRPM]

lol

[RubyBright]

"Hey, shouldn't you be hearing back from some of these schools soon?"

 

 

How would you know? I'm sure you completely, totally forgot.

[sansao]

How would you know? I'm sure you completely, totally forgot.

Yeah, I'm sure it's the furthest thing from your mind, right?

[DontHate]

"When do you hear back? We'll have a party to celebrate."

 

Perhaps

[Quigley]

"You got in?  Oh.  I told you so.  I'm not sure why you were worried."

 

I've heard this at least a half dozen times in the past 2 days.  I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but feels more like a dismissal of how unbelievably competitive PhD programs are and the hundreds of hours invested during the past year to make this happen.  

[DontHate]

"You got in?  Oh.  I told you so.  I'm not sure why you were worried."

 

I've heard this at least a half dozen times in the past 2 days.  I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but feels more like a dismissal of how unbelievably competitive PhD programs are and the hundreds of hours invested during the past year to make this happen.  

 

And then if you don't get in they pity you and say "better luck next year" and secretly feel vindicated for not applying to grad school themselves. There's no winning.

[RubyBright]

"You got in?  Oh.  I told you so.  I'm not sure why you were worried."

 

I've heard this at least a half dozen times in the past 2 days.  I know it's supposed to be a compliment, but feels more like a dismissal of how unbelievably competitive PhD programs are and the hundreds of hours invested during the past year to make this happen.  

 

I haven't been accepted anywhere yet, but I can think of at least three people likely to give this response if I am.

[tiarabun]

i got this one from some family fd who is a middle aged man with a lesbian stepdaughter about my age (27)

 

"Why should a girl get so much education? In the end she is destined to be a mother anyway. Just marry rich."

 

if i was not supposed to act mature and polite in front of the "elderly", i swear i would have blown

 

I said firmly, "i never thought marrying rich should be the goal of a woman of my intelligence."

 

my mom who said next to me just said nothing. im glad she always lets me do what i want.

 

 

The culture where I came from is probably the most westernized in asia, but still, some people think women failing to marry off by age 30 must be flawed somehow.

Im glad i did my BA in the States, so i know being an single woman with education is not a sin

[History Time]

Seeing your post made me think of a report I heard on NPR a week or so ago. It was really interesting and saddening at the same time: http://www.theworld.org/2013/01/china-leftover-women:/ Good for you for standing up for yourself.

 

At any rate, it bugs me when people say "You'll probably get into all of the schools you applied to, you're the smartest person I know." Well, thanks but I think there are probably a lot of smarter students out there applying for the same spot I am.

Edited January 28, 2013 by History Time

[Trobon]

I was eating dinner with my family last night and we started arguing about something stupid and inane. My younger brother got upset at me and, even though it had nothing to do with it, decided to attack me by sarcastically saying, "good luck getting into college". I ended up being stupid and before I could get upstairs to hit a pillow I punched a hole into my parents' house's wall. 

 

*sigh* At least I now have a small project to keep me busy instead of worrying about my applications.

[stmwap]

"It will all turn out okay."  "Everything happens for a reason."

[ParanoidAndro1d3]

"What is your top school?  If you got in everywhere, where would you go?" - Person other than me
"If I get in anywhere, that's where I'll go." - Me

"You'll get in EVERYWHERE, you're brilliant.  They'd be crazy not to let you in." - Person other than me
"Yeah...they'd be crazy for choosing a different person from the pool of highly-skilled, highly-qualified candidates that they have available to them.  Absolutely insane." - Me

"Why are you being so crazy?" - Person other than me
"Why are you being so dismissive of the reality that my future is currently being determined by a group of strangers that are basing their admissions decisions on approximately 5 pages of information per candidate, of which the majority is nearly identical for each applicant - essentially reducing my future to a game of chance?" - Me

This whole "waiting for decisions" thing is making me a tad irritable to the non-grad-grad-school-seeking persons in my life.  They just don't get it...

[Willows]

"Heard anything yet? No? Not from anyone? Well when will you know?"