I is stressed *Non-Judgmental Space for PhD Applicants*

[spookycat]

The CUDCP says my program should be sending out invites by today, but I obviously haven't heard anything and no one is posting on the results page about it either. 

This is fine. I am handling this very well and not at all freaking out. Definitely not checking this website/my email every 45 seconds at work.

[dancedementia]

1 hour ago, higaisha said:

going bald playing the waiting game...to people who have done this multiple times...my hat's off to you

I feel this so much. I've never been a patient person, but this is just next level. This is now my most visited site on my browser lol.

[higaisha]

6 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

I feel this so much. I've never been a patient person, but this is just next level. This is now my most visited site on my browser lol.

LMFAO I can tell if this is helping my impatient tendencies by forcing me to wait or bringing out my obsessive facets even more. Grad cafe isn't helping thats for sure--but it's so addictive LOL!

[dancedementia]

I dreamt last night that I got an invite to FDU. Very specific dream, as you can see. That's all that happened in the dream - I looked at my email. 

Obsession slowly becomes madness....

[lmk94]

Stressed to the max right now and just needed to get it off of my chest!

I applied to all Canadian PhD programs with a minimum GPA requirement of an 80%. I thought that with my B.A. GPA being a 3.80 and my M.A. GPA being a 3.50, I was more than qualified enough, especially given my 5 years of advanced research experience and several pubs/presentations. Well, one of the schools reached out, and said my M.A. GPA is below their threshold, as a 3.5 is a B+ and apparently in Canada that is considered a 78%. WHAT! Every syllabus I ever received in the states indicated that a 78% is a C, which I have never received in my life. My POI at this university is advocating for me, but now I am super paranoid that a percentage difference between countries may keep me out of graduate school. ? Completely sick to my stomach and just needed to vent it out. 

[dancedementia]

Three of the programs I've applied to (Immaculata, Yeshiva, FDU) have had other people get invites to interviews, but it's usually just one or two so I don't know if I'm just rejected outright or if they're outliers. I'm going crazy second guessing myself and my abilities. I really don't know how I'll react if I don't get in anywhere this cycle

[xChrisx]

I have mixed feelings about schools adding me to their longlist and waitlist. I'm angry because man, reject me if you will reject me. What is this nonsense? But I'm also happy because my application is strong enough to at least get on their waitlist...... *fat sigh*

[xxxxxxxxxx]

2 hours ago, Oluwachristabel said:

I have mixed feelings about schools adding me to their longlist and waitlist. I'm angry because man, reject me if you will reject me. What is this nonsense? But I'm also happy because my application is strong enough to at least get on their waitlist...... *fat sigh*

The likelihood of receiving an invite to interview after being “waitlisted” is slim. Esp. if these programs are having their interview dates/alternative dates soon. I honestly don’t know why some programs do this (I agree it’s BS and nonsense), it instills unnecessary false hope in applicants.. 

[jlmk42]

OOf, first real post in this forum (typically lurking...but love this sense of community!) --and  this is my first time application cycle and YIKES. 

I have not heard anything... one school seems to have sent out everything (i think), and one POI from another seems to be reaching out for some informal interviews.. but does anyone have insight into how important those informal video/phone interviews are to the process? For this particular POI (who I did apply to work with), seems like they have talked to a few people about an informal date... but... does this mean I should just prepare myself for the "letting go" process for this program until next year? 

((and to all those feeling the phantom vibrations of their phone... absolutely the same, all day...CONSTANTLY!))

[PsyDuck90]

55 minutes ago, jlmk42 said:

OOf, first real post in this forum (typically lurking...but love this sense of community!) --and  this is my first time application cycle and YIKES. 

I have not heard anything... one school seems to have sent out everything (i think), and one POI from another seems to be reaching out for some informal interviews.. but does anyone have insight into how important those informal video/phone interviews are to the process? For this particular POI (who I did apply to work with), seems like they have talked to a few people about an informal date... but... does this mean I should just prepare myself for the "letting go" process for this program until next year? 

((and to all those feeling the phantom vibrations of their phone... absolutely the same, all day...CONSTANTLY!))

Not every POI/program will do informal interviews. Often times, they are done when the POI needs to narrow the applicants down and is having a hard time. Let's say they can only extend formal interview invites to 3 people and they have 4 or 5 pretty evenly matched applicants, they may do an informal skype/phone interview to make that decision. If you know the POI has done informal interviews and you didn't get one, it's (unfortunately) likely you won't get a formal invite. Technically you're always in the game until you get the official rejection, but some schools don't send those out until March-May. 

Good luck! This process is stressful and pretty crappy. Just try to remember: rejections are not representative of your worth. There are so many amazing applicants for too few spots, and it often takes multiple cycles before people get acceptances. 

[ercm1308]

I hadn't heard from a single school until a few days ago and that was a rejection from the University of Oregon - although I was somewhat expecting it since they had already sent out their interview invites awhile ago. The rejection e-mail was also really kind, but all this waiting has me doubting that I'll get an interview to any of the other PhD programs I applied to. I only applied to 8 PhD programs (because I applied to 6 other Master's programs back home in Canada), and while I have a significant number of presentations, 2 forthcoming publications, a host of other research lab experiences, and a 3.97 GPA, I performed poorly on the quant portion of the GRE (like, actually poorly - my Verbal and Analytical Writing are fine, if not above average) and I'm graduating from undergrad in May. 

It's hard to stay optimistic, and I wanted to stay in the USA

[rugox]

On 1/17/2019 at 10:58 PM, lmk94 said:

Stressed to the max right now and just needed to get it off of my chest!

I applied to all Canadian PhD programs with a minimum GPA requirement of an 80%. I thought that with my B.A. GPA being a 3.80 and my M.A. GPA being a 3.50, I was more than qualified enough, especially given my 5 years of advanced research experience and several pubs/presentations. Well, one of the schools reached out, and said my M.A. GPA is below their threshold, as a 3.5 is a B+ and apparently in Canada that is considered a 78%. WHAT! Every syllabus I ever received in the states indicated that a 78% is a C, which I have never received in my life. My POI at this university is advocating for me, but now I am super paranoid that a percentage difference between countries may keep me out of graduate school. ? Completely sick to my stomach and just needed to vent it out. 

Even so, a 3.5 MA GPA is low. To be honest, coursework in grad programs are not as competitive as in undergrad so you should have gotten at least above 3.8.

[lmk94]

So much for a "non-judgemental" space for PhD applicants. ?

[chopper.wife]

Well... I am currently balancing a range of emotions right now -- We have to leave our apartment because our landlord is selling. Found the most beautiful home I have ever seen in the best location and put in a rental application. Just found out the landlord went with another couple with a baby. A very different kind of rejection than schools obviously, but I am crushed. Even though it's maybe for the best since I have no idea where I will even end up/be accepted to for grad school and would potentially have to move out in the summer anyways.... 

Sorry for the slightly off-topic post, but I feel like all the different kinds of anticipation I have been carrying around with me and the stress about schools, moving, etc. has been a lot. 

[tingyun95]

I started watching a bunch of TV series when I was not working....

How are we gonna survive the next 2 months???

[dancedementia]

4 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

Sorry for the slightly off-topic post, but I feel like all the different kinds of anticipation I have been carrying around with me and the stress about schools, moving, etc. has been a lot. 

I can really resonate with that. Our lease is up in April and I'm not sure whether I should be looking at month-to-month, sublets, etc. and where, because it is possible I would have to leave in August if I get into a program. I also graduate from my masters program in May, and I'm wondering how I should spend the summer. I'm interviewing for part time jobs right now but I feel shitty that I might need to leave them in a few months, and... yeah. I guess I'm just uncomfortable with the state of not knowing where I'm going to be physically located and where I'll need to try to put roots down. It's like I'm in limbo and I hate being in a constant state of transition.

[clinicalpsychhopeful]

23 minutes ago, lmk94 said:

So much for a "non-judgemental" space for PhD applicants. ?

THIS. I was thinking the exact same thing. None of us are professors or members of an admissions committee, which is why I think “what are my chances” and “how competitive am I” posts are not a good idea. Obviously, a lot of members of this forum have given great general advice and supportive suggestions. However, seeing members of this forum telling other applicants what their application should and should not have (like what was posted earlier) is incredibly frustrating. 

[xxxxxxxxxx]

12 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

Sorry for the slightly off-topic post, but I feel like all the different kinds of anticipation I have been carrying around with me and the stress about schools, moving, etc. has been a lot. 

 

6 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

 I guess I'm just uncomfortable with the state of not knowing where I'm going to be physically located and where I'll need to try to put roots down. It's like I'm in limbo and I hate being in a constant state of transition.

Same here. Some mornings I feel great, by the afternoon I feel like $h!t at the thought of not knowing. I'm looking forward to being somewhere for 4-5 years, but packing/moving somewhere new, with people I don't know, and having to develop trust and relationships with a whole new crew all over again is.... overwhelming.

[chopper.wife]

3 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

 

Same here. Some mornings I feel great, by the afternoon I feel like $h!t at the thought of not knowing. I'm looking forward to being somewhere for 4-5 years, but packing/moving somewhere new, with people I don't know, and having to develop trust and relationships with a whole new crew all over again is.... overwhelming.

Totally overwhelming. It's part of applications/acceptances/rejections that I think often gets ignored/overlooked because of how hard everyone has worked to get to where they are. It can feel so trivial to be distressed about moving away or finding a new place to live within your means, but GOOD GRIEF am I ever emotionally drained thinking about it all.

[chopper.wife]

19 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

I can really resonate with that. Our lease is up in April and I'm not sure whether I should be looking at month-to-month, sublets, etc. and where, because it is possible I would have to leave in August if I get into a program. I also graduate from my masters program in May, and I'm wondering how I should spend the summer. I'm interviewing for part time jobs right now but I feel shitty that I might need to leave them in a few months, and... yeah. I guess I'm just uncomfortable with the state of not knowing where I'm going to be physically located and where I'll need to try to put roots down. It's like I'm in limbo and I hate being in a constant state of transition.

Right? I think we're just going to have to try to move somewhere month-to-month or sign a lease up to August, but all of that feels like it has to be such perfect timing. I'm not the kind of person who sits in indecision for long, so having no choice but to juggle multiple possibilities at all times makes me want to fly out of my skin and into outer-space. Putting roots down is a lot of work.  

[xxxxxxxxxx]

25 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

Totally overwhelming. It's part of applications/acceptances/rejections that I think often gets ignored/overlooked because of how hard everyone has worked to get to where they are. It can feel so trivial to be distressed about moving away or finding a new place to live within your means, but GOOD GRIEF am I ever emotionally drained thinking about it all.

Especially when you have a partner, who also has a career... and so you're juggling/considering a million things at once, because any decision directly impacts his/her career.  

I TOO AM SO MF EMOTIONALLY DRAINED, let me wrap up these interviews lord I can't have anxieties in so many directions at once lmfao ?

[dancedementia]

4 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

Especially when you have a partner, who also has a career... and so you're juggling/considering a million things at once, because any decision directly impacts his/her career.  

I TOO AM SO MF EMOTIONALLY DRAINED, let me wrap up these interviews lord I can't have anxieties in so many directions at once lmfao ?

Oh lordy. My partner is going into his last year of postbacc studies for med school (his undergrad was in a liberal arts area). So he'll be applying next fall. We have absolutely no idea how we're going to work out that geographical puzzle. He said he would try to apply to schools near where I get in, but med school is just as much of a crapshoot so I'm encouraging him to apply broadly even if it means long distance for several years. Ugh. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by dancedementia

[chopper.wife]

28 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

Oh lordy. My partner is going into his last year of postbacc studies for med school (his undergrad was in a liberal arts area). So he'll be applying next fall. We have absolutely no idea how we're going to work out that geographical puzzle. He said he would try to apply to schools near where I get in, but med school is just as much of a crapshoot so I'm encouraging him to apply broadly even if it means long distance for several years. Ugh. 

 

32 minutes ago, checkingmyemail said:

Especially when you have a partner, who also has a career... and so you're juggling/considering a million things at once, because any decision directly impacts his/her career.  

I TOO AM SO MF EMOTIONALLY DRAINED, let me wrap up these interviews lord I can't have anxieties in so many directions at once lmfao ?

I feel both of you. Having a partner to factor in is so difficult and makes this process even more painful because you are altering another person's life with your decision. I have heard people say to not take into account your partner's preferences with locations, but COME ON... how can you not consider the other person when they are a huge part of your life and support system. 

[xxxxxxxxxx]

49 minutes ago, dancedementia said:

Oh lordy. My partner is going into his last year of postbacc studies for med school (his undergrad was in a liberal arts area). So he'll be applying next fall. We have absolutely no idea how we're going to work out that geographical puzzle. He said he would try to apply to schools near where I get in, but med school is just as much of a crapshoot so I'm encouraging him to apply broadly even if it means long distance for several years. Ugh. 

 

17 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

I feel both of you. Having a partner to factor in is so difficult and makes this process even more painful because you are altering another person's life with your decision. I have heard people say to not take into account your partner's preferences with locations, but COME ON... how can you not consider the other person when they are a huge part of your life and support system. 

Yep. My partner has been with me through all my undergraduate and post-bac years (trials, tribulations, moves across the country, miseries, highs, lows, all in between)... This has been a wild journey, for the both of us. I will need this support and partnership, on steroids, all throughout grad school LOL

And long-distance sucks so f$%king much, btw, definitely not trying to do that again at all!

[EileanDonan]

1 minute ago, checkingmyemail said:

 

Yep. My partner has been with me through all my undergraduate and post-bac years (trials, tribulations, moves across the country, miseries, highs, lows, all in between)... This has been a wild journey, for the both of us. I will need this support and partnership, on steroids, all throughout grad school LOL

And long-distance sucks so f$%king much, btw, definitely not trying to do that again at all!

 

27 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

 

I feel both of you. Having a partner to factor in is so difficult and makes this process even more painful because you are altering another person's life with your decision. I have heard people say to not take into account your partner's preferences with locations, but COME ON... how can you not consider the other person when they are a huge part of your life and support system. 

I feel for this...my spouse and I both intend to pursue doctoral programs, albeit in very different fields. It's made selecting schools/areas that align with our individual AND mutual goals...difficult. Inevitably, we both end up having to sacrifice something, namely potential programs.