Sh*t people say when you are applying to grad school

[CocoChanell_no5]

Everyone is saying "Oh don't worry, you'll be okay". How the hell am I going to be okay when I've gotten REJECTED from 3 schools and I'm waiting on 2? When they ask how it's going, I'm restraining myself from doing the Homer-Bart Simpson choke >_>

[Dankar1208]

Upon receiving a letter from Iowa that I'm 100% positive is a rejection--"You don't know. It could be good news!" 

 

Something about my boyfriend's unfailing optimism is killing me. Somehow it makes the rejections worse..?

 

 

My boyfriend and I plan to move in together once we find out where I'm accepted. We're both ready to move out of our area and start somewhere new, which is really exciting. I would say that most of the feedback I get is related to that aspect, rather than the grad school aspect. People seem to be a lot more focused on, "Well, you must be getting married soon then!" To add that sort of pressure on TOP of what could be a series of rejection letters... I mean... geez.

 

Anyone else experiencing anything like this?

 

I've been with my bf for 6 years now, and the pressure is always on to get married. I've told everyone not to expect it until at least 2019 since I'll be getting educated.  It's kept the relatives off my back--as if I'd want to plunk down money on a wedding when I still don't even know where I'm moving!

Edited March 4, 2014 by Dankar1208

[Lifesaver]

Reactions to me getting a second masters. A masters in social work.

 

- You know social workers don't make ANY money, right?

- You're going to get really fed up with your clients because people don't ever change.

- Why would you want to help criminals?

- You're going to be $150,000 in debt for THAT?

- After being in school this long and being that far in debt, you might as well be a doctor.

- I thought you were going to medical school?

- Don't you want to be a physician assistant? Or nurse? Or SOMETHING ELSE?

- When are you going to get a real job?

- Are you going to be in school forever?

 

A personal favorite when I talk about possibly going to Penn:

- I hear they have a great football team. Isn't that where Joe Paterno coached?

[roguesenna]

 

 

A personal favorite when I talk about possibly going to Penn:

- I hear they have a great football team. Isn't that where Joe Paterno coached?

 

::facepalm:: isn't he the one who was responsible for all those kids getting molested at football camp?

[starofdawn]

I've been with my bf for 6 years now, and the pressure is always on to get married. I've told everyone not to expect it until at least 2019 since I'll be getting educated.  It's kept the relatives off my back--as if I'd want to plunk down money on a wedding when I still don't even know where I'm moving!

 

 

I've been with my guy for 7 years... yup, there is definitely some pressure to get married. One co-worker even said the other day, "After 7 years, either shit or get off the pot".

 

If anything, going through grad school gives me the excuse for a low-budget, small, informal wedding. But we'll probably wait.

[JBums1028]

Some of my favorites so far have been:

Mom: (2 weeks after schools finally released their applications) "Have you finished all your applications yet?"

Mom: (about a month after asking the above question) "Where have you gotten accepted?"

 

Also some gems from my Dad are that my undergraduate institution has to accept me as a grad student because they offered me an undergraduate scholarship (it was through a different department) and because I went there for undergrad.

 

And probably my most relatable one that I'm sure everyone else has heard as well:

"You need a Master's degree to do that?"

[krishnalynn]

You're applying to schools in Canada? You do know, like...it snows there right? (i did my undergrad in San Diego)

 

or 

 

So like are you going to be studying moose and stuff? 

 

or

 

How did it take you six months to finish your applications for grad school? Don't you just fill out a form online? 

Edited March 4, 2014 by krishnalynn

[rj16]

I've been with my guy for 7 years... yup, there is definitely some pressure to get married. One co-worker even said the other day, "After 7 years, either shit or get off the pot".

 

If anything, going through grad school gives me the excuse for a low-budget, small, informal wedding. But we'll probably wait.

 

That is exactly why I felt that getting married before grad school was a fabulous idea (aside from, you know, being married)! It gave us the perfect excuse for a backyard BBQ wedding, which was exactly what we wanted anyway. 

[bathingintheneon]

My boyfriend and I plan to move in together once we find out where I'm accepted. We're both ready to move out of our area and start somewhere new, which is really exciting. I would say that most of the feedback I get is related to that aspect, rather than the grad school aspect. People seem to be a lot more focused on, "Well, you must be getting married soon then!" To add that sort of pressure on TOP of what could be a series of rejection letters... I mean... geez.

 

Anyone else experiencing anything like this?

 

My boyfriend of 3 years isn't going to move with me (at least initially) to grad school. So of course I have to deal with the "it will never last" comments from pretty much everyone I know. 

[b39]

My boyfriend and I plan to move in together once we find out where I'm accepted. We're both ready to move out of our area and start somewhere new, which is really exciting. I would say that most of the feedback I get is related to that aspect, rather than the grad school aspect. People seem to be a lot more focused on, "Well, you must be getting married soon then!" To add that sort of pressure on TOP of what could be a series of rejection letters... I mean... geez.

 

Anyone else experiencing anything like this?

 

My boyfriend is currently finishing his masters in Engineering ( eventually pursuing a PhD) and I'm applying to an MSW so of course everyone is concerned and asking "when will you two ever get married if you spend your whole lives in school"

little do they know we plan on moving out together before marriage and asap haha so I totally feel this pressure! 

[mmorrison]

And probably my most relatable one that I'm sure everyone else has heard as well:

"You need a Master's degree to do that?"

 

Oh, yes. Yes. I heard this from my mother's husband ABOUT BEING A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR. He said I was wasting time looking at grad schools and should just apply with my BA. For tenure-track jobs in university English departments. 

[JBums1028]

Oh, yes. Yes. I heard this from my mother's husband ABOUT BEING A UNIVERSITY PROFESSOR. He said I was wasting time looking at grad schools and should just apply with my BA. For tenure-track jobs in university English departments. 

 

Lol! I also plan on working in Higher Ed (on the Student Affairs side of things though). My sister was talking to one of her friends about my plans for grad school and she responded with "She needs a Master's for that? I thought those jobs were like retail..." I still do not fully understand what her friend meant by that comment.

[QASP]

A personal favorite when I talk about possibly going to Penn:

- I hear they have a great football team. Isn't that where Joe Paterno coached?

 

I had an interview at Penn State. You don't want to know how many times I told people about it and they said "Wow, that's great, the Ivy League!"

[gr8pumpkin]

From both of my brothers at various points: [as an academic], you lead such a sheltered life.

 

From my dad: I don't understand what graduate school even is.  I thought you just went to college for four years and then got a job.

 

By the way, does anyone think it would be hard to find a husband in grad school?

 

[runs, ducks]

Edited March 5, 2014 by gr8pumpkin

[PhDerp]

After explaining that I got in on a fellowship, not just an assistance-ship: "I thought they gave everyone a fellowship? The good schools give everyone a fellowship." Thanks, mom.

 

 

...I'm not very close with her. ._.

[gr8pumpkin]

I hear you.  I'm not close with anyone in my family of origin anymore.

[elisewin]

After reading to my mum the very enthusiastic emails I got from a professor offering me acceptance to their program, she says "why do they like you so much? You can't be that good, can you?"

So... Yeah.

[ravenray]

Right after I tell my dad I got my first rejection:

My dad- So what is your plan B?

 

Gee thanks dad.  

 

My husband gets a job offer.  My dad takes us out to dinner.  My dad is clearly rooting for the job side. -.-

 

All my friends:

So what are you applying for?

Me: Linguistics

Them: What do you want to do with THAT?

Me: *in a small voice* teach and do research.  I want to be student for the rest of my life.

Them: *looks of horror* How long does that take?

Me: 5-6 years

Them: WHY?

[HicklePickle]

I just love the confidence that is coming from my family. They are all SO SURE that I'm going to get in, despite a KOD on an SOP, and despite the fact that these programs only accept 6-8 students that are all very qualified... Whenever I try to say something about wanting a Plan B, or not wanting to get my hopes up, they tell me to stop being negative. I just don't want the embarrassment if I don't get in anywhere!

 

Also, my grandma has been telling everyoneeeeeee that I've been interviewing. She tells all of my interviewing stories to everyone who calls and talks about me moving (I live with her.) It's sweet and she seems proud, but I'm going to feel silly if I don't get in.

[OCD or Perfection?]

I just love the confidence that is coming from my family. They are all SO SURE that I'm going to get in, despite a KOD on an SOP, and despite the fact that these programs only accept 6-8 students that are all very qualified... Whenever I try to say something about wanting a Plan B, or not wanting to get my hopes up, they tell me to stop being negative. I just don't want the embarrassment if I don't get in anywhere!

 

Also, my grandma has been telling everyoneeeeeee that I've been interviewing. She tells all of my interviewing stories to everyone who calls and talks about me moving (I live with her.) It's sweet and she seems proud, but I'm going to feel silly if I don't get in.

I LOOOOOVVVVEEEEEE YOUR GRANDMA!!!!!

[OCD or Perfection?]

I guess my Dad thinks hitting 30 and applying for phd programs made my ovaries shrivel up and die?

LOL

[LexHex]

If I hear another Virginia Tech shooting joke/reference, I might scream. 

Edited March 8, 2014 by LexHex

[HicklePickle]

My favorite:

"Who will watch the children?"

(I do not have children. I am not married. I am not in a relationship. Where do these comments come from?!)

Hahahah. That is great!

[gingin6789]

Also, my grandma has been telling everyoneeeeeee that I've been interviewing. She tells all of my interviewing stories to everyone who calls and talks about me moving (I live with her.) It's sweet and she seems proud, but I'm going to feel silly if I don't get in.

Your grandma sounds like my grandma!! She definitely was talking about it to folks AFTER I got accepted, but the conversations went like this:

 

Gran: Gingin, I just can't remember ... which schools accepted you again?

Me: Lehigh ... and Delaware hasn't given me official word yet, bu ---

Gran: LEHIGH.  THAT was it!  For some reason, I thought it was DUQUESNE!!  That's what I told your aunt and uncle! I don't know how I didn't remember ...

Me: It's ok, gran, it's hard for me to keep all of this straight, too ...

 

I don't know WHERE she got Duquesne ... I think it's because she always thinks of Catholic universities for grad school since grandpop went to a Catholic university for his graduate degree (Villanova).  Either way, it's very sweet she's telling my family, and very sweet that she's telling them!  

[JBums1028]

 

My favorite:

"Who will watch the children?"

(I do not have children. I am not married. I am not in a relationship. Where do these comments come from?!)

 

My mom has also been complaining that she will "never have grandchildren" since my sister is very focused on advancing her career and I'm applying to grad school. We're 25 and 22 respectively. You're comment made me laugh because that sounds like something she'd say.

 

Side note question for everyone: Does anyone else tell people that they are pursuing a different, but similar career field than they actually are because it's easier to explain to people? For example, I'm pursuing Student Affairs (I want to be an academic adviser) but I usually tell people I'm going into Counseling because I get less of the "What's that?" "What are you going to do with that?" "Why do you need a Master's for that?" I usually only do this when I run into people that I know, but am not really close with. Because I'd rather not spend that much time conversing with them anyway. Just curious if anyone else has done that before.