Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

[behindclosedoors]

This thread is hilarious. It makes me feel better about the future, no matter the outcome

My contribution from browsing last year's philosophy notifications to alleviate my waiting boredom:

Penn State (Philosophy PHD):

• 0a/0w/8r (of 10). I got 99 problems, but deciding which program to attend ain't one.

[hippyscientist]

This is brilliant and makes me feel better about the rejections that will inevitably come. I really should pay attention to exams but grad cafe is way more entertaining than stats.

[CarefreeWritingsontheWall]

ETH Zurich

Dynamics And Controls, PhD (F16)

Rejected via E-mail on 11 Jan 2016

A

11 Jan 2016

Too salty to even be a potato chip.

[alikat]

So glad I stumbled upon this thread... it's helped relieve my stress at least a fraction of an amount.

 

Yale Playwriting hopeful rejection (from '09, but I still find it slightly humorous): "Same letter as last year. I've got a small collection."

 

Considering most playwriting applicants have a 1-2% chance of acceptance at any Uni, I empathize with this hopeful (and admire their dedication to the process)!

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

3 minutes ago, alikat said:

So glad I stumbled upon this thread... it's helped relieve my stress at least a fraction of an amount.

 

Yale Playwriting hopeful rejection (from '09, but I still find it slightly humorous): "Same letter as last year. I've got a small collection."

 

Considering most playwriting applicants have a 1-2% chance of acceptance at any Uni, I empathize with this hopeful (and admire their dedication to the process)!

Wow, really? 1-2%? Why is that?

[alikat]

3 minutes ago, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

Wow, really? 1-2%? Why is that?

Each program I've researched accepts between 2 and 6 students per year (of 200-500 applicants, approximately, depending on the year); though there are some programs that are a bit larger (hosting approximately 24), thus allowing a slightly higher acceptance rate (though, this rate is still exceptionally low). Simply put, it's bananas.

Edited January 13, 2016 by alikat
grammatical correctness

[Pink Fuzzy Bunny]

3 minutes ago, alikat said:

Each program I've researched accepts between 2 and 6 students per year (of 200-500 applicants, approximately, depending on the year); though there are some programs that are a bit larger (hosting approximately 24), thus allowing a slightly higher acceptance rate (though, this rate is still exceptionally low). Simply put, it's bananas.

While you're at it, go out and buy a Powerball ticket! 

[alikat]

Just now, Pink Fuzzy Bunny said:

While you're at it, go out and buy a Powerball ticket! 

Ha! Not a bad idea. What's it at now, $1.5 billion or so? 

[hippyscientist]

Just saw this on the results page and utterly giggled:

"Graduate School Of Business, Stanford UniversityFull Time MBA, MBA (F16)Rejected via E-mail on 10 Jan 2015I13 Jan 2016

So, my billionaire boss' son gets accepted even though he had someone else write the GRE for him and has little to no qualification. And I -someone who has saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars- gets rejected??? There's no justice in the world."

Bitter much?

And a happy one that said "Pardon me while I go dance in the streets". Love it! Party on wayne.

Edited January 13, 2016 by piglet33

[TheMonkeyOnMyBack]

My favorite part are the eyes at the end 

contacted to the Dept. and got e-mail back..rejected!!!!! Damnnnng... ㅜ.ㅜ

[Need Coffee in an IV]

Carnegie Mellon University (CMU)

(Computer Science, Masters (F16)

what the.. Apparently, you don't even have to apply in order to be rejected from certain schools..

 

I would be super confused too. Its like damn they went out of their way to tell me no.

[Need Coffee in an IV]

3 hours ago, piglet33 said:

Just saw this on the results page and utterly giggled:

"Graduate School Of Business, Stanford UniversityFull Time MBA, MBA (F16)Rejected via E-mail on 10 Jan 2015I13 Jan 2016

So, my billionaire boss' son gets accepted even though he had someone else write the GRE for him and has little to no qualification. And I -someone who has saved the company hundreds of thousands of dollars- gets rejected??? There's no justice in the world."

Bitter much?

And a happy one that said "Pardon me while I go dance in the streets". Love it! Party on wayne.

 

How would he get someone else to write the GRE for him? They ask for ID?

[Gvh]

Just now, Need Coffee in an IV said:

 

How would he get someone else to write the GRE for him? They ask for ID?

Probably a fake ID. Let's face it, the ETS testing center people are not the brightest crayons in the box...

[hippyscientist]

@Need Coffee in an IV I think that's the point, it's so utterly ridiculous. Either way it gave me a good chuckle

[Need Coffee in an IV]

@Gvh Yeah I guess so, plus I'm sure it varies. The center where I took the GRE checked my ID to see if it was a fake or not. @piglet33 Yeah I thought it was pretty funny too, maybe him and the other bitter people will join forces to become awful super villains haha

[gingin6789]

Carnegie Mellon rejection:

• what the.. Apparently, you don't even have to apply in order to be rejected from certain schools..

Oh man! I can't imagine checking an email to find a rejection from a program I hadn't applied to! That's awful!

I've been back-reading this thread though, and the funny responses make me feel so much better about the waiting process ...

 

[behindclosedoors]

Not funny rejection responses from the applicant (rejectee?) but from the universities themselves - 

University of Calgary (Philosophy, Masters):

• "Your application has been cancelled for the following reason: More Than One Reason" lol, thanks for the info, that's very helpful...

I agree.  If that was me, I'd be relieved to know that my rejection was thoroughly warranted on the basis of problems too many to specify by the university ... 

Harvard University (Philosophy, PhD):

• Letter from Dean of Admissions: "Naturally, Harvard's doors are now closed to you, but I'll pass your file along to Brown."

Rofl.  The applicant must be kidding on this one ... 

DePaul University (Philosophy, PhD):

• too bad I got rejected from the "PhD Program program" I was really looking forward to getting a PhD in PhD programs

I wouldn't stop there - I'm aiming high for the PhD in PhD program of programs.

Finally, Rutgers University (Philosophy, PhD):

• I was taken aback by how kind and personalized the 11-word notification was.

Edited January 17, 2016 by rainne
Added further responses

[jellyfish11]

This person is DEEPLY in denial. Such a frustrating situation, but why even e-mail again at that point? Note the date - August 2015 will an application for Fall 2015...

 

The University Of Pennsylvania (Upenn)

Anthropology, PhD (F15)

Other via Other on 8 Aug 2015

U

8 Aug 2015

I have still not yet heard from the department, despite repeated e-mails and calls that went unanswered. Sent them an e-mail: "Dear (XXX), I hope you are well. I'm writing to ask if there are any updates on my application to the doctoral program in Anthropology? I understand that at this stage my application probably wasn't successful, but I thought I'd check since I haven't heard from the department besides the confirmation e-mail last November stating that the application was received. Thank you, and have a great day!"

[nightfarmer]

I never put this on gradcafe, but when I was going through MA applications a few years ago, UMass Amherst told me to check my status page... Rejection. A few days later they sent me an email with an ambiguous subject line - oh, maybe they made a mistake, I thought? No, rejection. A couple weeks later my parents tell me I got a letter from UMass Amherst. I pretty much know what it is, but still open it. Yep, a rejection. OK I GET IT UMASS I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR STUPID SCHOOL. Fortunately I got like 5 other acceptances and then did really well in the one I picked. So take that, UMass Amherst. I don't even care any more. (Yes I do.)

[nightfarmer]

14 hours ago, jellyfish11 said:

This person is DEEPLY in denial. Such a frustrating situation, but why even e-mail again at that point? Note the date - August 2015 will an application for Fall 2015...

 

The University Of Pennsylvania (Upenn)

Anthropology, PhD (F15)

Other via Other on 8 Aug 2015

U

8 Aug 2015

I have still not yet heard from the department, despite repeated e-mails and calls that went unanswered. Sent them an e-mail: "Dear (XXX), I hope you are well. I'm writing to ask if there are any updates on my application to the doctoral program in Anthropology? I understand that at this stage my application probably wasn't successful, but I thought I'd check since I haven't heard from the department besides the confirmation e-mail last November stating that the application was received. Thank you, and have a great day!"

Jeez, yeah. I mean, the department should have just put them out of their misery after an email or two, but come on. After a while you just gotta realize if you had been accepted they're not going to just 'forget' to let you know you're accepted to a program that starts in like 2 weeks.

[jellyfish11]

13 minutes ago, nightfarmer said:

I never put this on gradcafe, but when I was going through MA applications a few years ago, UMass Amherst told me to check my status page... Rejection. A few days later they sent me an email with an ambiguous subject line - oh, maybe they made a mistake, I thought? No, rejection. A couple weeks later my parents tell me I got a letter from UMass Amherst. I pretty much know what it is, but still open it. Yep, a rejection. OK I GET IT UMASS I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR STUPID SCHOOL. Fortunately I got like 5 other acceptances and then did really well in the one I picked. So take that, UMass Amherst. I don't even care any more. (Yes I do.)

two years ago, when I applied to Northwestern, I got seriously at least 10 rejections. Same thing... several e-mails to check the website, a direct e-mail rejection or maybe even two, and a regular paper mail letter. Ugh it was depressing.

[nightfarmer]

21 minutes ago, jellyfish11 said:

two years ago, when I applied to Northwestern, I got seriously at least 10 rejections. Same thing... several e-mails to check the website, a direct e-mail rejection or maybe even two, and a regular paper mail letter. Ugh it was depressing.

Wow that is even more cruel. The cynical part of me that loves dark comedy imagines like 10 professors crowding around a laptop, passing around a bottle of Jack, laughing their butt off, saying "yeah, hit send again!!!" And then laughing uproariously once more.

The only possible explanation.

Edited January 18, 2016 by nightfarmer
grammar

[Kollyy]

On 2/24/2014 at 9:05 PM, artichoke203 said:

 

Me too!!! Somehow California schools have the most expensive application fees!!

Got accepted in usc without funding, a rejection would have been better off with their humongous tuition

[magnetite]

"Something is definitely wrong in this country. Trump 2016."

Posted on a rejection from Princeton. The poster has a 4.0 GPA and 165/170/5.0 GRE scores.

Not sure if serious.

[Lexie16]

16 minutes ago, magnetite said:

"Something is definitely wrong in this country. Trump 2016."

Posted on a rejection from Princeton. The poster has a 4.0 GPA and 165/170/5.0 GRE scores.

Not sure if serious.

I was totally going to post that one, you beat me to it!! That one gave me a chuckle, for sure. I also like this one:

UCB-UCSF Bioengineering

• "Expected... But still my first Rjection. So I'll remember you like this, Berkeley."

??

Edited January 21, 2016 by Lexie16
Fixed formatting, added quotation marks