Post here to get your worries off your chest

[Sprint14]

Worries: I had one app due Dec 10 and yesterday I realized I had a bunch of typos on my online portfolio AND I put the wrong tracking info on the index page so I don't know if anyone has visited. I went in and fixed both. It might be unlikely the committee has looked at any applications yet but I'm still not feeling good about it. 

sort-of Excitement: This is my second time applying to grad school and looking at prior applications I can see the weakness in my previous  PS/SOP(s). These will be better as I am making sure I spell out why I want to go to THIS program and what I plan to get from the degree, future plans, etc 

[ViralCapsidGuy]

Worries: I'm an international student, which statistically speaking makes it more difficult for me to get into any program in the US. My GRE scores are mediocre (Verbal 73% / Quantitative 50% / Writing 41%). Out my 3 letters of recommendation, one is from a local professor who is not a doctor. I have 0 scientific publications at peer-reviewed journals. From the hardest to the easiest to get into (according to current publicly available statistics) the places I applied to are: Mayo Clinic, Northwestern University, the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, the University of Kentucky. I am afraid that elite programs such as those at the Mayo Clinic and Northwestern aren't even gonna bother looking at the application of a recent undergrad from Colombia.

Excitement: I am an international student with a very good TOEFL iBT score (116/120), which levels me with local applicants on that matter. Out of the 4 places I applied to, only 2 require GRE scores (the University of Kentucky, and the Mayo Clinic). The average percentile of accepted applicants at the University of Kentucky is 50%, so I'm good, and I was already invited to the first interview weekend at the Mayo Clinic! My GRE scores don't keep me up at night me anymore. I think my letters of recommendation are very good, they all offer different perspectives into my worth as a potential graduate student, even that of the local professor. Even though I have 0 publications, I have given 11 poster presentations/scientific talks. I have 1 poster award. I've contributed to funded NIH grant proposals. I have conducted research in Colombia, the United States, and South Korea. I graduated with honors. I was awarded a distinctive research award by my city's Town Hall. I've talked to professors from Mayo, Northwestern, Kentucky, and other people with doctorates that I look up to, and they've genuinely told me that they are impressed by what I did just in undergrad and that they believe I have a very good chance of getting into the programs I applied to...The thing that excites me the most right now is, as I already mentioned it, the fact that I got called for an interview at Mayo Clinic! I seriously didn't think I would be called because Mayo is such a competitive place. But yay I'm personally gonna be there on February. I guess I did something right! One more thing that excites me: I'm presenting a poster at the Physical Virology GRC in Ventura, CA on January, before "interview month" (February is interview month in my mind), and I'll have the chance to personally meet one of my POI's from Northwestern ... *excited*

[AUROCH]

Congratz on the Mayo interview, I guess I will be seeing you there in Feb for our interviews! 

[SpeederNEarls]

Second time applying for PhDs. Passionate about the work, plus an acceptance would mean my long distance relationship would be short distance one.

Professor said he didn't think admissions to either the engineering or sciences program would be a problem after an interview, but that was months ago and doubt creeps in. Just hoping for the best.

[jeter59]

Not sure if this is the place for this, but I've been running into some grad-school related relationship issues? My partner is VERY hesitant to enter into the SDR/LDR (45min - 2 hr away by train) stage of our relationship after a year and a half together. He still has two years left at our undergrad, and just doesn't think that he could be happy without me there all the time. I would still visit as often as possible, but he doesn't think that the "electronic" relationship between visits could work. We've worked out that it's not an issue of love or long-term compatibility - we both agree on this - but nonetheless all I've been able to manage is a reply of "why don't we talk about it again closer to graduation?" I'm still going to try like hell to convince him, and I think there's still a decent chance, but anyone else having these issues?

[gradhopeful96]

worries: I won't get in anywhere, my writing sample (most important part of my application) is trash, I come from an unknown, unranked school, I'm just a medium fish in a very small pond right now and my application is really a guppy

excitement: my apps are done and submitted!

[MegXD]

Worries: I heard back from my top school and they want an interview. But interviews aren’t typical for this particular master’s program. I am so nervous and curious to why they want an interview. It could be my less than average gpa (3.1-3.3), the fact it’s been 5 years since I graduated from undergrad and I’ve only held a relevant job 3 of those years, I made a major educational and career goal change or if there is a discrepancy in my supplementary statement. It could be ANYTHING and it’s eating me up inside. 

Exciting: I wasn’t rejected outright by my top school! 

[gummybear9]

Worries: My biggest fear is that I was too ambitious when selecting programs so I won't get accepted anywhere at all. My GPA is relatively low and I have very average research experiences and no publications. I feel like my statements will be the most significant part of my application and I'm not really happy with them so what if I threw away my chances by not working on them more? I have so many fears I just need to hear back from somewhere so this fear that I won't get in anywhere will subside slightly.

Excitement: Everything is officially submitted! My PI submitted the  letter of recommendation yesterday for my last program! That school is also the closest thing I have to a safety and I expect to hear back from them pretty quickly so hopefully I'll have news, positive or negative, within the next two weeks or so!

[fortsibut]

I'm worried about what I'm going to do if I don't get in anywhere this application cycle.  This year I finished up my MA and spoke at a (small) conference so I had a couple of things for my letter writers to tack onto what they wrote last year, but this year I don't have any real plans or options to make myself a more attractive candidate.  I guess I could try to get an article published based on my MA thesis, but that's quite a long shot.  Part of me wonders what the point would even be in dropping hundreds of dollars more in the coming fall for a similar chance at getting into the same programs.  I know admissions is a crap shoot and you could get lucky and get in the next year just because they'd need, say (in my case) an Africanist, but those aren't great odds.

One step at a time though, I guess.  This application cycle isn't over yet!

[sgaw10]

7 hours ago, gummybear9 said:

Worries: My biggest fear is that I was too ambitious when selecting programs so I won't get accepted anywhere at all. My GPA is relatively low and I have very average research experiences and no publications.

Me to a T!

[Leighannimal]

Worries: I only applied to one school. This is the first time I've applied to grad school. It was very overwhelming and I am not sure I did it right. I had an argument with admission because they kept losing my documents. We went back and forth through email several times to straighten it out. Hey, at least they'll remember my name. ? I spoke to a professor and we were not a match for research. Her profile talked about behavioral challenges and students with disabilities (which is my jam) but she didn't want to talk about any of those. But she said she did want me to meet her teaching assistant. Also, I got tongue tied and said some stupid stuff because I was nervous. Anyway, What if I do get in and get too overwhelmed? My brother said it can't be more overwhelming than teaching elementary school , which is what I'm doing now., because at least I can pee when I need to and I'm already working 10+ hours a day. Hahaha. Low bar. My GPA sucks. My GRE scores are better. My essay is too long and I thought i twas so original and unique to me but now I think it was just generic bullshit. My letters of reccomendation are from a professor, college advisor and mentor, and the school psychologist I work with in my current job. The letters are positive but not spectacular. I just really want to stop thinking about it. Also, I really need funding or I don't see how this will be possible financially. Ugh, I'm am not looking forward to being college poor again.

Excitement: Moving to a new city. Peeing when I want to. I finished and submitted, which I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to pull off. I did it.

[gummybear9]

6 hours ago, sgaw10 said:

Me to a T!

I know, you and I are ridiculously similar applicants! Good thing we're not applying to too many of the same programs or we'd be in direct competition ?

I believe in both of us! It'll work out! ?

[gummybear9]

On 12/23/2018 at 8:27 PM, jeter59 said:

Not sure if this is the place for this, but I've been running into some grad-school related relationship issues? My partner is VERY hesitant to enter into the SDR/LDR (45min - 2 hr away by train) stage of our relationship after a year and a half together. He still has two years left at our undergrad, and just doesn't think that he could be happy without me there all the time. I would still visit as often as possible, but he doesn't think that the "electronic" relationship between visits could work. We've worked out that it's not an issue of love or long-term compatibility - we both agree on this - but nonetheless all I've been able to manage is a reply of "why don't we talk about it again closer to graduation?" I'm still going to try like hell to convince him, and I think there's still a decent chance, but anyone else having these issues?

My partner and I are just trying not to talk about it. We're both applying to grad schools on the west coast, but that could still put us many hours away from one another, and we honestly don't know what we'll do if that happens. I don't even know which side of it I'd be on - I think I'd like to at least try. The dream is for us to go the same school, but the odds of that are so low because obviously we each have to go to the best school for us. Anyway, for now we avoid the topic and we're just going to wait until we know where we're going and figure it out from there. It's really stressful ?

[CautiouslyOptimistic2020]

Worries: This is my second cycle of applying and I only applied to 3 schools as they were the only ones I could see myself genuinely happy in. 2 of them I was waitlisted for last year. As days pass I see more and more posts about how other people have gotten an interview and I have not yet. I was so sure I'd get one since I had one last year and nearly got in and I thought my application was only stronger now; I guess that was arrogant of me. I know I would be a good fit for the program and would flourish there; I just want a chance to show them.

 

Excitement: It's not over yet- the anxious part of me wants to ignore that it's only 12/29 and still in the midst of the holidays- the people who got the emails for interviews could have different POI's. I daydream about getting in all the time- the area is so outdoorsy there would be so many trails!! It's a small town with cute little boutiques and I talked to the POI's current grad students and he's flexible about what your research is and he doesn't use you as a work horse. It would be a dream to get in!!

 

Thanks for starting this thread lol I think my friends and co-workers are tired of hearing me talk about it and I don't think they realize how competitive it is. 

[perpetualalligator]

Worries: I'm worried I applied too early. I feel like I should have waited at least one more year before reapplying to grad school. I just started an independent research project at work that could really help my application and I did not include it in my CV or my SoP because I hadn't started it then. I do not have a lot of experience so this would have really helped but also if I don't get in this time I don't think I have the patience to put my life on hold for another year and apply a third time.

Excitement: Last year I applied mostly to Masters programs and a PhD for shits and giggles, but this year I am 100% sure that I want a PhD and that this is the right decision for me. Considering I am a very anxious and indecisive person it feels great to be sure about something for once.

 

[synthema]

Worries: I just found a stupid error in one of my applications. I listed my undergrad degree as "BZ" rather than "BA." Debating whether to email and see if it can be corrected or just "whatever" it and move on. When I inevitably get rejected, I can at least blame it on this error rather than the fact that my SOP is trash-garbage. This will be my second application cycle. After my first, I ended up in a MA program where I rapidly changed course away from the anthropology of religion to medical anthro.  While I'm glad this happened, I hope it doesn't make me look like I'm confused. My GRE is a mixed bag of great on the essay and verbal, and really appalling on the quantitative. Math makes me panic, which is why I didn't go into a math-heavy discipline. I hope this does not also make me look confused. Waiting is absolutely killing me. Just tell me I'm a failure now so I can move on with my miserable life, jesus christ. 

Excitement: Someone who supposedly knows better told me my SOP is not, in fact, trash-garbage. Whether I get into one of the reach schools or not, I am about 98% certain my MA institution will keep me for the PhD. I like my advisor, and would not mind spending more time working with her. 

Edited January 5, 2019 by synthema
spelling

[scytoo]

Worries: My current list of programs is best described as "all reach", at least the ones I could see myself being happy at. There's a very real chance I won't get into any of them. I don't have the right kind of mathematical background, so I could tank in the interviews if they ask really technical questions. 

Excitement: I've been accepted to a couple of safeties, so I'm not totally dead in the water. And who knows, maybe I'll be accepted for my dream program! But I should keep that hope under wraps - I don't want to set myself up and then not be successful. 

[pexygalax]

worries: being sick before interviews/having to miss interviews

[fortsibut]

Worries:  I didn't find the right balance in my SoP of talking about my own work vs. POIs work, also that I was too vague or too specific on what I want to study moving forward (crazy as that sounds).  That my writing sample wasn't polished enough.  That I didn't reach out to all the POIs beforehand.  That the A- on my MA thesis will tank everything.   That I'll get stuck working in retail hell forever.  That I'll never get into my dream school, even though I want it so badly that I can taste it.

Excitement:  My application overall is a lot better than last cycle.  I'm working towards getting an actual publication right now and working on a secondary project that's new and interesting even though it's hard to find the time between work and other activities.  I still have a sliver of hope that I'll get in, and a way to fill some of next year if I don't.

[FutureEdPHD]

On 1/4/2019 at 6:28 PM, synthema said:

Worries: I just found a stupid error in one of my applications. I listed my undergrad degree as "BZ" rather than "BA." Debating whether to email and see if it can be corrected or just "whatever" it and move on. When I inevitably get rejected, I can at least blame it on this error rather than the fact that my SOP is trash-garbage. This will be my second application cycle. After my first, I ended up in a MA program where I rapidly changed course away from the anthropology of religion to medical anthro.  While I'm glad this happened, I hope it doesn't make me look like I'm confused. My GRE is a mixed bag of great on the essay and verbal, and really appalling on the quantitative. Math makes me panic, which is why I didn't go into a math-heavy discipline. I hope this does not also make me look confused. Waiting is absolutely killing me. Just tell me I'm a failure now so I can move on with my miserable life, jesus christ. 

Excitement: Someone who supposedly knows better told me my SOP is not, in fact, trash-garbage. Whether I get into one of the reach schools or not, I am about 98% certain my MA institution will keep me for the PhD. I like my advisor, and would not mind spending more time working with her. 

I found an error in my SOP right after I submitted my app for one school and they don't allow changes!  ? Hopefully it works out though. I had the same issue with switching masters programs from public administration to education policy, but no one has seemed bothered by it so far. I've been accepted into one program and another program definitely seems interested. Good luck with your applications!!

[synthema]

19 hours ago, FutureEdPHD said:

I found an error in my SOP right after I submitted my app for one school and they don't allow changes!  ? Hopefully it works out though. I had the same issue with switching masters programs from public administration to education policy, but no one has seemed bothered by it so far. I've been accepted into one program and another program definitely seems interested. Good luck with your applications!!

It's so horrifying. Stupid errors! If only I had never seen it and thus not given myself more to obsess over while I wait to hear back...

 

Thank you - good luck to you and let's hope we both get in somewhere despite dumb errors!

[MoynihanBreakerBurkina]

Cool topic.

 

Worries: I didn't really apply to any safeties. All of the programs are in the top tier of their field, so this is worrying me a little bit now that I'm in the waiting game. Also concerned with average writing/low quant score (V-164, Q 155, AW 4.5). My SOP was pretty long (the max of whatever the program allowed) and maybe too personal. Self-doubting keeps making its appearance, and the waiting game is torture. Also, one of my professors was very late on the LOR. Finally, I have an incomplete graduate record (did 33 of 36 units for an MPA). Had a 3.94 in that program, but decided it wasn't for me and took a job out of state before I could finish the last class- this job showed me/reinforced what I actually want to do (related to the programs I applied to).

Excitement: I applied to some really cool fellowships that I am hoping will work out. One of the program directors reached out to me very nicely via email, that's cool. I feel relatively confident for at least 2 of the 9 programs I applied to. I have a good amount of relevant experience that I hope will be attractive. Excited about taking this next step in this journey called life... But so anxious and it's affecting my life! (E.G., I'm at my office/I should be working right now but I'm on this forum...)

[havemybloodchild]

Worries

This is my second year applying, and though I feel much better about the schools I’ve chosen to apply to, and the fact that I applied to many more programs, I’m worried if it doesn’t work out this year I won’t have it in me to apply again. I’m also worried because I have significant gaps in my academic history. My major gpa is great, my overall gpa is good, my gre scores are good, but what if they’re not good enough? My WS are excellent, I know that, but these adcomms are seeing hundreds of excellent samples. I worry my SoP isn’t specific enough and that the ending isn’t strong enough. I’m worried about how I’ll live on a stipend.

Excitements

I absolutely love researching and writing. I’m so looking forward to being in a cohort of similarly driven and passionate students. I’m thrilled to move and start over in a new place. Literature is my life and I’m looking forward to it being my whole life. I want to be challenged to my limits and see how much I can grow.

[civitas]

Thanks for your thread!

Worries: My mediocre GPA (officially 81.35 out of 100; 3.3 but not submitted as not printed in transcripts), especially in the last 2 years. I have no idea how they will evaluate such a score together with my experiences: I spent the two years in creating my startup. Half of my applications are in Educational Technology, right in my enterprise's field, while my undergraduate major is Chinese, which has no relationship with it. However, another half of my applications are in East Asian Studies, this time with my professor's LoR, but all of them don't have U.S. connections. 

Excitements: I have a good GRE score (335, albeit AW is only 4.0), a good TOEFL score (110), and a bunch of years of working experience - in educational technologies; as an entrepreneur, and involved in local politics. Many awards in China, owner of a popular educational technology app serving half a million users all over the world. 

In all, I have no idea how they are going to evaluate candidates... By GPA I have no hope; otherwise I still have a chance.

[Melodrama4Ever]

On 12/9/2018 at 7:08 PM, Bopie5 said:

Oof, everything everyone's said is so real.

Worries: Coming right out of undergrad and not having any publications, I'm concerned that I look inexperienced. I also found two minor typos in my writing sample after I already submitted my apps ? Also worried that I'll feel like I'll have wasted a lot of time and money if I don't get in, since apps ended up costing more than $700. Also worrying that if I get in, I'll feel/seem really inadequate and not as qualified as other grad students in the cohort.

Excitements: I love classes and academia, and if I get in I can't wait to interact with other students who are just as passionate as I am! Plus delving deeper into theory and getting the space to really pursue the research that interests me. 

Girl I feel this so much!