How to celebrate good news?

[Musmatatus]

Hi friends! I've realized that I've been so focused on hearing back from all the schools I've applied to that I haven't truly celebrated my acceptances. Is anyone else in the same boat? 

I would love to talk about how we are celebrating, and bring a little joy into our forum

 

[ArcaMajora]

Same, same, same.

I've been so caught up in e-mail checking that it's sometimes hard to remember the victories from this cycle. I vividly remember freaking out when I got the phone call for my first acceptance, and I was so excited I could barely sleep lol. (I freaked out about UCI three times. Phone call request, then the call, then the letter. all involved screaming, shameless dancing, and listening to motivational music)

I kinda re-read the letter again, and then start doing the daydreaming and doing the little things with the school spirit (following them on Insta, Twitter, etc). Also, celebration with food I def do. Gonna be celebrating with KBBQ this weekend.

Edited February 22, 2019 by Ranmaag

[spectrum-in]

Yes!!!!! I’m visiting Duke now and it feels like this is the first time I’ve gotten to be really excited about it. Better late than never, I guess! 

[Nobody_S]

18 minutes ago, Ranmaag said:

Same, same, same.

I've been so caught up in e-mail checking that it's sometimes hard to remember the victories from this cycle. I vividly remember freaking out when I got the phone call for my first acceptance, and I was so excited I could barely sleep lol. (I freaked out about UCI three times. Phone call request, then the call, then the letter. all involved screaming, shameless dancing, and listening to motivational music)

I kinda re-read the letter again, and then start doing the daydreaming and doing the little things with the school spirit (following them on Insta, Twitter, etc). Also, celebration with food I def do. Gonna be celebrating with KBBQ this weekend.

Ha ha...congratulaitons!!! ?

[Nobody_S]

26 minutes ago, sugilite said:

Hi friends! I've realized that I've been so focused on hearing back from all the schools I've applied to that I haven't truly celebrated my acceptances. Is anyone else in the same boat? 

I would love to talk about how we are celebrating, and bring a little joy into our forum

 

Best thread on the forum! And congratulations on all your acceptances. ?

[Nobody_S]

The first acceptance I received, kind of got lost, in all the acceptances I did not get.
And since I am yet to receive the final and formal offer letter, all celebrations on hold as of yet. 
 

[havemybloodchild]

I cried a lot, haha.

But next month I’m throwing myself a bowling party, because I like drinking beer and throwing heavy shit around in really ugly shoes ? 

[Anonymouse124]

50 minutes ago, kendalldinniene said:

But next month I’m throwing myself a bowling party, because I like drinking beer and throwing heavy shit around in really ugly shoes ? 

AMAZING!! 

I'm going out for sushi with my mom for a chill day today! I listened to Heaven Is a Place on Earth on a loop after I got into the MA last year (oops), and have been putting together a celebratory playlist for myself this year haha. 

[spatial_person]

Victuals and libations 

[Englishtea1]

7 minutes ago, spatial_person said:

Victuals and libations 

I second the libations!

[The Wordsworthian]

I feel like I've had delayed excitement about my acceptance due to the sheer shock!  Each day I feel like I digest it a little more and actually grasp the fact that I'm in.  It's crazy. 

[amphilanthus]

really grateful for this thread! my first notification was good news so i decided to hold off and celebrate that when i had even more good news... and it's been downhill since then. i've been feeling pretty low tbh so this was a nice reminder to get out and celebrate, especially now that i’m pretty sure where i’ll be! thinking about doing something with friends this weekend even if it’s as simple as dinner and drinks. 

[whatislife69]

I feel like my close friends/family are more excited than i am. I haven't really celebrated besides going out for a casual meal. It really didn't feel celebratory...seems like the stress of life keeps on coming and leaving me no time for celebration ?

[dangermouse]

@whatislife69 i totally understand what you mean! i think i'm still a bit in shock and it hasn't really sunk in yet that i'm going to ACTUALLY!!! be doing a phd, so whilst all my friends and family are super thrilled, i'm sort of having to pantomime my own excitement/quash my own sudden uncertainty! hopefully once i have all the decisions in it will be easier to relax and really take it in?!

[whatislife69]

23 minutes ago, dangermouse said:

@whatislife69 i totally understand what you mean! i think i'm still a bit in shock and it hasn't really sunk in yet that i'm going to ACTUALLY!!! be doing a phd, so whilst all my friends and family are super thrilled, i'm sort of having to pantomime my own excitement/quash my own sudden uncertainty! hopefully once i have all the decisions in it will be easier to relax and really take it in?!

I hope so! During app season, first I was like ok once i have all the materials in, I will be better; by the time i submitted all my apps, then interviews rolled in, and I thought to myself, once the interviews are over + if I get an offer then hopefully i'll feel better. And then I got accepted to a program, I was obviously happy but then I still felt really stressed: hmm maybe i'll feel better if I get into a program with xyz better things (funding and what not)... You get the idea. 

Will I ever celebrate? Or will the stress of existing crush the potential for celebration before we even know it?

[jrockford27]

I celebrated my acceptance to my first program by drinking an entire bottle of cabernet. Unfortunately, that was actually how I was already passing the days anxiously waiting for acceptances.

Edited February 22, 2019 by jrockford27

[madandmoonly]

Yeah, yesterday my mother asked me why she seemed more excited than I am. I'm a chronic worrier so I've just been stressing more than anything. I did get coffee with my advisor right after it happened, so I guess that was somewhat celebratory. I think after I officially accept I'll be able to feel somewhat more excited? But then, as someone who just completed a master's, I'm just kind of like, oh god this is gonna be hard. Haha. 

[fortschritt22]

Normally I would have celebrated my acceptances with a bottle of nice champagne, but alas, I was blessed with spending the entirety of this application cycle in a dry country and won't be able to make my toasts for another few weeks.

[jillcicle]

15 hours ago, sugilite said:

I would love to talk about how we are celebrating, and bring a little joy into our forum

 

I... I went to Olive Garden and bought myself a nice silk dress from a thrift store. So that's my poor person version of celebrating lol.

The relief was so good at first once I realized I was saved from a shutout but now all the stress about a potential move is kicking in. I'm trying to spend time outside in the garden and be peaceful! 

[northwestnative]

I feel this. As a deeply anxious person, talking about myself and my success is terribly awkward, so I've downplayed and dismissed the well-wishes of friends and family, but then I feel bad about doing so. I guess I'm still sort of numb: I wasn't expecting anything at all, and now suddenly it's all here. I guess my celebration has been . . . grading more essays? Ha!

You all, by the way, are great! Well done to everyone!

[whatislife69]

57 minutes ago, northwestnative said:

I feel this. As a deeply anxious person, talking about myself and my success is terribly awkward, so I've downplayed and dismissed the well-wishes of friends and family, but then I feel bad about doing so. I guess I'm still sort of numb: I wasn't expecting anything at all, and now suddenly it's all here. I guess my celebration has been . . . grading more essays? Ha!

You all, by the way, are great! Well done to everyone!

omg it me. i am so bad at taking compliments. but YOU ARE GREAT WE ARE ALL GREAT!!

[mandelbulb]

my roommate keeps asking me when he can treat me to a fancy dinner as celebration and i keep telling him not yet lol “maybe when i hear back from everyone? maybe when i commit somewhere? maybe april 15? maybe before i move in august/september?” 

it just feels like we’ll be celebrating six years of hellish life and that’s...not worth celebrating. it’s not over yet is what it feels like. 

[havemybloodchild]

11 minutes ago, mandelbulb said:

 

it just feels like we’ll be celebrating six years of hellish life and that’s...not worth celebrating. it’s not over yet is what it feels like. 

Lol I rarely feel like a starry eyed kid but this statement really made me feel my naïveté 

[jillcicle]

36 minutes ago, mandelbulb said:

it just feels like we’ll be celebrating six years of hellish life and that’s...not worth celebrating. it’s not over yet is what it feels like. 

Dude. This. 100%.

[emprof]

2 hours ago, mandelbulb said:

my roommate keeps asking me when he can treat me to a fancy dinner as celebration and i keep telling him not yet lol “maybe when i hear back from everyone? maybe when i commit somewhere? maybe april 15? maybe before i move in august/september?” 

it just feels like we’ll be celebrating six years of hellish life and that’s...not worth celebrating. it’s not over yet is what it feels like. 

Speaking from a bunch of years down the line: all the MORE reason to celebrate! (And maybe this is your point, in which case I don't mean to belabor the obvious.) This is one of the things about the academic life cycle: it's never over. You wait to get into grad school, you wait to pass your QEs, you wait to "advance to candidacy," you wait to pass a prospectus, you wait to get a fellowship, you wait to publish your first article, you wait to get a job interview, you wait to get a campus visit, you wait to get a job, you wait to get a book contract, you wait for the book to come out, you wait for book reviews, you wait to get tenure, you wait to get a fellowship, you wait for your graduate student to get hired, you wait to get a second book, you wait to get promoted ...

I'm listing all of this not to be demoralizing, but to say that one of the best things you can do for yourself and your career is to create time for rest and celebration and rejuvenation. It will make you better at your job. Have a time every night when you stop working. Have a "sabbath" of some sort: a 24-hour period each week when you don't work. There will be weeks when it's impossible (as at any job), but don't make that the norm.

Academic life can be the best gig out there, because you can work on something you love; you can have constant intellectual challenge; you can have tremendous flexibility in your schedule; you can work with brilliant people. It can be the worst gig out there if you drive something you love into the ground; you never feel satisfied with having met challenges; you never give yourself a break; and you never feel like you measure up to your brilliant colleagues. Choose the happier version. At least most of the time. 

[End soapbox rant.]

I hope this comes across as encouraging and not patronizing! I only say all of this so urgently because it's hard-fought knowledge that I don't always remember. But when I do, I work better and I am more content.