Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

[Bayesian1701]

3 hours ago, HannahRae said:

I thought I would get this started up again because this whole thread is making me feel so much better in this anxious time!

This is my current favorite from the past week. How awkward to be rejected and then tweeted about 

 

 

The professor did apologize on January 7th, which was before the rejections went out.  There is a twitter thread here with her apology and the original tweet. I don't know if it was directed at that specific applicant even if it was apparently a direct quote.  I wouldn't be surprised if multiple people started their SOP's with childhood stories and mentioned the deaths/illnesses of family members.  I think she brought it up because it was a common problem.  She probably could have said it a better way and not have quoted it directly,  but she had a good point.    If the rest of your application was that impressive then you could have written a great SOP just based on your undergraduate years.  I don't know anything about that program but it looks super competitive and the SOP probably wasn't the only factor in the decision.  

[GarbledGeyser]

On 1/17/2018 at 5:50 PM, Bayesian1701 said:

There is a twitter thread here with her apology and the original tweet.

I just got through reading that thread. She definitely has a point, but I can echo the concerns others brought up about vague prompts and underprepared applicants who aren't lucky enough to receive instruction in how to write the essays.

This tickled me for its brevity.

[LookingforMM]

A few from my intended discipline:

Stanford

Music Composition, PhD (F15)

Rejected via E-mail on 11 Feb 2015

A

11 Feb 2015

report spam                  Bunch of nihilists.

UC Berkeley

Music Composition, PhD (F17)

Rejected via E-mail on 13 Feb 2017 ♦

A

13 Feb 2017

Oh well, among my last choices... I write music for an audience, not an academic circle jerk.

If you don't like what the department is doing, why apply?

Columbia (GSAS)

Music Composition, DMA, Other (F12)

Rejected via Website on 15 Mar 2012

A

15 Mar 2012

Meh, If you're not from McGill, you've very little chance of getting in

My favorite is this one, though:

University Of Chicago

Music Composition, PhD (F13)

Rejected via E-mail on 4 Mar 2013

U

4 Mar 2013

Link to site / Generic rejection letter / Generic reaction on my side too...

Edited January 20, 2018 by LookingforMM

[posts]

On 1/17/2018 at 3:50 PM, Bayesian1701 said:

 I don't know if it was directed at that specific applicant even if it was apparently a direct quote.  I wouldn't be surprised if multiple people started their SOP's with childhood stories and mentioned the deaths/illnesses of family members.  

Totally. I've looked over a couple of strangers' statements because they were asking for second opinions, and I saw one a couple weeks ago who wrote almost word for word the phrase that person tweeted about. They didn't actually use the word "curious", but the second sentence was "Since I was young, I have always..." and then it went on to talk about how they had always been inquisitive about science.

I've read another one that expressed the same exact sentiment in different words, also in the first couple sentences of the statement. Heck, my first (and second, and third...) draft did too. I'm certain MANY more people than just the person who was quoted do exactly the same thing. It's so tempting! I agree with that professor that these openings are lame and should generally be avoided, but I also agree that vague prompts make the experience worse for everybody.

 

Princeton University

Music Composition, PhD (F17)

Rejected via Website on 17 Feb 2017

A

17 Feb 2017

my work is gendered, interdisciplinary, and confrontational, and i anticipated not being a good fit for some schools because of this. good luck to everyone else!

UC Berkeley

Music Composition, PhD (F17)

Rejected via E-mail on 13 Feb 2017 ♦

A

13 Feb 2017

report spam Oh well, among my last choices... I write music for an audience, not an academic circle jerk.

And here's my entry into the "I'm telling my FATHER about this!" subcategory:

Rice Ｕniversity

Music Composition, DMA, PhD (F18)

Rejected via E-mail on 20 Dec 2017 ♦

A

20 Dec 2017

Was supposed to hear by Dec. 18. I emailed today and they said notifications had been sent out on Dec. 14 but of course I didn't receive it. They rejected me as an undergrad too, despite my father going there as well. Good riddance!

Edited January 21, 2018 by turtleducks

[khigh]

I always go back to one from a few years ago when I need a laugh. I need to find it again, but it says "It's cold and they're mean" about the University of Minnesota.

[surprise_quiche]

bai

Edited January 21, 2018 by surprise_quiche

[Fiain]

17 hours ago, turtleducks said:

Totally. I've looked over a couple of strangers' statements because they were asking for second opinions, and I saw one a couple weeks ago who wrote almost word for word the phrase that person tweeted about. They didn't actually use the word "curious", but the second sentence was "Since I was young, I have always..." and then it went on to talk about how they had always been inquisitive about science.

I've read another one that expressed the same exact sentiment in different words, also in the first couple sentences of the statement. Heck, my first (and second, and third...) draft did too. I'm certain MANY more people than just the person who was quoted do exactly the same thing. It's so tempting! I agree with that professor that these openings are lame and should generally be avoided, but I also agree that vague prompts make the experience worse for everybody.

 

And then, well, I started off my SoP like that, and went into detail with examples. Literally, "Since I was young, ..." and I had a professor from one of the universities I've been accepted to call me yesterday and say how impressed she was with my statement of purpose and application. 

 

So... I think it has a lot to do with the university, too. 

[surprise_quiche]

 

HAAAAAAA SAME

University Of Minnesota - Twin Cities (UMN)

Physics, PhD (F18)

Rejected via Website on 22 Jan 2018 ♦

A

23 Jan 2018

No email, checked website like others. Applied to CME. 2.5 years research and REU, no publications. Disappointed, but I couldn't be a Vikings fan anyway.

[th3redrabbit]

On 1/17/2018 at 6:50 PM, Bayesian1701 said:

The professor did apologize on January 7th, which was before the rejections went out.  There is a twitter thread here with her apology and the original tweet. I don't know if it was directed at that specific applicant even if it was apparently a direct quote.  I wouldn't be surprised if multiple people started their SOP's with childhood stories and mentioned the deaths/illnesses of family members.  I think she brought it up because it was a common problem.  She probably could have said it a better way and not have quoted it directly,  but she had a good point.    If the rest of your application was that impressive then you could have written a great SOP just based on your undergraduate years.  I don't know anything about that program but it looks super competitive and the SOP probably wasn't the only factor in the decision.  

OMG... I clicked the link it is was so painful to read through all of that! I think that it is important to get creative with the essays just to stand out a bit, but fortunately/unfortunately creative writing isn't really part of STEM training. But, in a highly competitive application process, any extra skills really seem to help! *shrugs*

[ElvisShrugged]

For some of us humanities kids, geometry truly is heck. Props to you STEM scholars!

[khigh]

4 hours ago, ElvisShrugged said:

For some of us humanities kids, geometry truly is heck. Props to you STEM scholars!

Funny story. One of my undergrad history classes was based around simulations (French Revolution). We had to write speeches and then re-enact specific instances in the Revolution: cafe, tribunal/guillotine, and one other. So, part of the simulations was to arrange the class desks into a circle. Let's just say that was the hardest part of the whole class. "Historians don't math" was our exact quote- to the economic historian professor. 

That ended up being the best class I ever took as an undergrad.  Got to send our friends to the guillotine and our paper wasn't traditional- we wrote memoirs. But, still, the best part was the quotes that came out of that class "Historians don't math" and "Man, do you even Jstor?"  I have both of those on t-shirts now.

[ElvisShrugged]

21 minutes ago, khigh said:

Funny story. One of my undergrad history classes was based around simulations (French Revolution). We had to write speeches and then re-enact specific instances in the Revolution: cafe, tribunal/guillotine, and one other. So, part of the simulations was to arrange the class desks into a circle. Let's just say that was the hardest part of the whole class. "Historians don't math" was our exact quote- to the economic historian professor. 

That ended up being the best class I ever took as an undergrad.  Got to send our friends to the guillotine and our paper wasn't traditional- we wrote memoirs. But, still, the best part was the quotes that came out of that class "Historians don't math" and "Man, do you even Jstor?"  I have both of those on t-shirts now.

I'm totally stealing "Do you even Jstor?" That is gold.

[Gradgirl2020]

The Ivies causing heartbreak for those who wanna study AfAm Studies...

[khigh]

32 minutes ago, ElvisShrugged said:

I'm totally stealing "Do you even Jstor?" That is gold.

It works for almost every argument.  I like using it in online arguments especially. 

[catsareme]

"and with that one brief email, another dream dies. Now, where's the wine? " -Harvard rejection

[singinglupines]

 

[vallaboop]

UMass (Amherst)

( ECE ) Electrical And Computer Engineering, PhD (F18)

Rejected via Website on 14 Jan 2018 ♦

I

14 Jan 2018

Really ?

[surprise_quiche]

29 minutes ago, singinglupines said:

 

El rechazo.

[michaelgi]

This my third cycle and I've only just discovered this thread. This is an excellent time, keep 'em coming!

[rooguild]

On 1/23/2018 at 10:05 AM, ElvisShrugged said:

lol'd at "I hate shapes"

[HannahRae]

Lol. 

[surprise_quiche]

Pokémon Academy

Fossil Revival, PhD (F18)

Rejected via E-mail on 24 Jan 2018

24 Jan 2018

I guess I'll just join Team Rocket :/

That's a great fall back plan hahaha

 

[FlosVeterisVini]

On 1/23/2018 at 2:11 PM, khigh said:

Funny story. One of my undergrad history classes was based around simulations (French Revolution). We had to write speeches and then re-enact specific instances in the Revolution: cafe, tribunal/guillotine, and one other. So, part of the simulations was to arrange the class desks into a circle. Let's just say that was the hardest part of the whole class. "Historians don't math" was our exact quote- to the economic historian professor. 

That ended up being the best class I ever took as an undergrad.  Got to send our friends to the guillotine and our paper wasn't traditional- we wrote memoirs. But, still, the best part was the quotes that came out of that class "Historians don't math" and "Man, do you even Jstor?"  I have both of those on t-shirts now.

How does one NOT Jstor? I would be so lost without it.

 

That class sounds like a dream.

[khigh]

2 minutes ago, FlosVeterisVini said:

How does one NOT Jstor? I would be so lost without it.

 

That class sounds like a dream.

We had quite a few classes with simulations. It's a way to attract non-majors to the department. In Legislative Process (Political Science), we did three weeks of a Senate session simulation.  You pick a senator, research them, write legislation, and then present it in the "Senate." We ended up filibustering for two class periods.  Religion and Magic in Early Modern Europe (Reformation class), we had a witch trial. So, you researched what would have been typically presented as evidence, had to know what would be found in a home in early modern Europe, and conduct the trial. Our witch was innocent and she was disappointed. Presidency (Poli Sci), we ran a campaign simulation.  I found out that I make a pretty good Frank Underwood. French Revolution was guillotines, cafes, the Committee for Public Safety, etc. On the Committee section, you had to either defend or argue against the use of force against those that betrayed the revolution. My defense of the guillotine was persuasive enough that the prof asked me after class if those were my real thoughts. Then, we wrote memoirs of a person's experience in the French Revolution. I wrote mine from the perspective of a Dutch silk merchant in Paris with his son. His son got caught up with the Jacobins and lost his head. The old merchant's wife died during childbirth after the French invaded the Batavian Republic (Netherlands). He lost his silk trading business because Japan cut off all trade with the Dutch when the French took over.  The memoir was the old merchant explaining to his second family why he hated the French and why he never talked about his former life.  It's something I may write into a novel one day. 

[LookingforMM]

Not a rejection, but another joke post:

Trump University

Gender Studies, PhD (F18)

Accepted via Phone on 25 Jan 2018 ♦

A

25 Jan 2018

wrote "I have great respect for women" in my sop.