iwearflowers

After I sent in my decisions, I spent three weeks in a funk. I think a lot of it was just adrenaline letdown. In the last week or so, I've been working on setting goals for the summer - things I want to do in my current city before I leave, healthy habits I want to focus on, reading and review I want to complete before the fall semester starts. I always feel better when I have goals to work on and things to plan for, and it's helped me feel a bit more normal.

I never studied at a desk in college unless I was at the library. When I started my masters program, I bought a nice dining room table with the thought that I could use it as a combo dining table and desk. The only time it got any use was when I had company. I continued to study on the couch or the floor or on campus as I had when I was in undergrad. I have a small desk now that I mostly use for practicing calligraphy. When I work from home, I do it from the couch. I'd spend the money on a nice chair and think about what kind of filing or storage you need that would normally be part of a desk.

I got a memory foam mattress on Amazon that feels much more expensive than it actually was. I've had it around 3 years, and it's held up very well. It's one that comes vacuum packed and rolled up into a relatively small box. It's called the Signature Sleep Memoir 12-Inch Memory Foam Mattress and is currently listed at $219 for a full. You can also get pretty cute sofas online for reasonable that are delivered flat-packed and require simple assembly. Everyone suggests Ikea, but you can also look at Amazon, Wayfair, Overstock, and Walmart. When I furnished my first apartment, I bought the aforementioned mattress, a sofa from Walmart, and a couple of rugs. Everything else (bookshelves, side tables, bed frame, desk and chair) I got from Craigslist. Some of it was free, and the rest was priced pretty cheap. I have bad allergies, so I was concerned about buying anything soft used. (I was also super paranoid about bed bugs.) I also moved in with just a mattress and folding chair and took my time to find the rest of the furnishings, which meant I was able to wait until I found the best deal. Don't feel pressured to have your place in perfect shape within a few days of moving. It's an adventure!

I used the template below. I didn't offer a reason for declining but did say which school I had accepted instead. Dear [NAME], I am writing to let you know that I have accepted an offer from [SCHOOL A], so I will not be attending [SCHOOL B] this fall. I appreciate all of your time and consideration during the admissions process, especially the opportunity to visit the campus and speak with professors about my goals. I have officially declined my offer in the online portal. Please let me know if I need to do anything further to tie up loose ends in this process. Sincerely,

I officially submitted all of my decisions today! Most of the emails I got in response to my rejections were very warm, but one professor just wrote "I hope this is a good decision for you." That kind of cemented my feeling that I made the right choice in turning them down. I mean . . . that's a bit passive aggressive, right?

When I moved for my masters program, I did my apartment hunting while I was in town for the visiting students day and then moved in about a week before classes started. In retrospect, I probably didn't get the best location or the best deal, but I had a full time job in the city I was leaving and wanted to work as long as I could to save up some extra money. When I moved for my current job, I got a short term lease (2-3 months) and looked for something more permanent once I got to the city. That gave me a lot more flexibility to learn the city and really get a sense of where I wanted to live and what I should pay for it. Currently, I'm looking at making the opposite move that you are (East Coast to West Coast). My job has a flexible remote work policy, so I'm planning to get something short term (either a sublet or AirBnB) and move out there in early July. I'm putting my stuff in a Pod and road tripping cross-country with my dog. Then I'll have a couple of months to learn the city and find a longer term spot while working remotely. I've also heard that you can sometimes get a summer research position if your PI has funding, so if you don't have anything else going on that might be a way to make an early move.

I’ve been out of school for a few years, and several of my letter writers were colleagues, so I bought them each a nice business card holder. It was less than $10 per person, and it’s something everyone can use.

Bummer about the weather. I’m also doing one of my visits virtually due to time constraints, and talking to students and professors is helpful. Ask professors about their mentoring style, what projects you would be working on, and what professional development opportunities the department offers. Ask students about their mentoring and research experiences, what opportunities they’ve had to publish, and how ready they feel for the job market. I’ve also spoken to some recent grads, which was great. Good luck!

The last time I quit Diet Coke, I used flavored carbonated water as an intermediate step. That way I was still getting the fizz and flavor but in a slightly healthier form. I switched to flavored water cold turkey and then cut those back gradually and replaced it with regular water. Good luck!

@Neuromantic - I’m also in the depression/anxiety boat and have found it super helpful to disclose the issue at work since it makes it possible to get the kind of support I need. That being said, I was repeatedly cautioned against disclosing in my applications because departments can see students with mental health issues as a risk. I ended up not mentioning the issue in my SOP but did talk about it during interviews. When I did disclose, I focused on talking about my determination, resilience, and coping skills and how those would translate into a PhD program. I also talked about how I was committed to staying in therapy/on meds during my program since I know it can be stressful and those are important elements in keeping me stable. This approach seemed to work well for me, as I was accepted at 5 of 6 schools I applied to, 4 of which were funded and 3 of which included competitive fellowships.

fair play

I thought I would add in my two cents: Another good title to add to your search is Research Interviewer. This will bring up jobs that are primarily short term and data collection focused, but it gives you an opportunity to get something on your resume and get your foot in the door with a team. You might also look for Research Coordinator, which tends to be longer term but more administrative (handling timelines, budgets, staffing, data entry, recruitment). Again, this gives you exposure to the research process and an opportunity to move up. In my experience, these titles are frequently used by public health and health services research projects, which will often have a lot of overlap with medical sociology/sociology of health and illness. (My masters degree is an MPH, but I was accepted into two Sociology PhD programs this year based on my experience in these types of projects.) I work for a non-profit social sciences research firm that does a lot of government-funded work across a variety of topics (including health). When we hire, we look for experience with any statistical software, not necessarily the one we use most frequently. Most of my experience is with SPSS, but my department uses STATA primarily. However, being able to say that I had experience with SPSS got me hired, because it showed that I had a basic understanding of how statistical programs worked and would be able to learn a new one if needed.

Most of the assistantships I'm being offered require ~20 hours of work per week, so I would say this is pretty standard. Research experience (including opportunities to publish and present at conferences) is just as important to a PhD experience as the actual classwork. The second comment (100% appointment ratio) probably just means that they expect you to be in the program full time, but it may also mean that they won't allow you to take on outside work. All of my programs have been great about answering follow-up questions, so if you're still confused or concerned, I would reach out to the program administrator and ask for some clarification about what these mean. I've found visits incredibly helpful, and visiting would give you the opportunity to ask students about balancing an assistantship with classwork. Schools that have offered me a funded visit have typically paid for my travel (airfare plus either a rental car or cab to and from the airport), hotel, and meals on the day of the visit. I've had to pay for meals on the days that I traveled plus dog sitting costs. Good luck with your decision!

Congratulations on your acceptance! Since there will be students from all backgrounds, they likely won't throw you into the deep end right away. If you're really worried about it, you might contact someone in the program and ask about things you should do to prepare. They may have suggestions about what books to read or skills to brush up on. (Caveat: I am not in this field.)

Re: BU, I just talked to one of the faculty, and HSR is still planning to send out their decisions by early March.

I think something on the casual end of business casual is always a safe choice. Maybe add a blazer to jeans and a nice top? When all else fails, email the admissions coordinator and ask what is most appropriate. (This can be a good idea, regardless since you may find out they intend to take you on a three mile hike around campus, in which case you will want to wear comfortable shoes! I left my masters program visit day with awful blisters . . .)

It’s a bit unorthodox, but one thing that really helped me boost my GRE score was working as an ACT/SAT tutor part time. A lot of the skills are similar (especially on the math section), and it gives you a better sense of how test makers think overall. It’s also a great way to earn extra money in grad school. I work through a test prep company that handles all the recruitment and provides training and materials, and I started at $20/hr. It’s also a great student gig because you set your own schedule with your students, so you can increase your availability during summer break or blackout the weeks around finals. ALSO, @pinoysoc, my masters degree is an MPH, and I applied to a mix of public health and sociology programs. I basically chose my schools by doing a lit review on the kind of work I want to do for my dissertation to see who is active in the field. Thinking through why I was applying to such seemingly diverse programs really helped me articulate my goals and research interests in my SOPs. If you have questions or want to chat about public health options, feel free to PM me!

One of my schools is on the opposite coast, and I don’t have the time or money to visit. (The dog sitting bills are killing me, and the school doesn’t have a formal visit day.) Instead, I’ve asked the program head to put me in touch with 2-3 current students and reached out to some recent graduates on my own. Between that and the chats I’ve had with the faculty, I’m confident I can make a decision.

I'm a bit late to this party, but I'll add my two cents anyway. One of my letter writers took me aside when I first told her I was applying and told me that the entire PhD process - application through dissertation - is basically designed to wear down your self esteem. She encouraged me to start actively fighting this now, so I've really upped my meditations and mantras. I also keep reminding myself that these people are experts with tons of experience selecting students. If they think I belong here - that I'm capable of success here - then I do.

I was not struggling with this until yesterday. My potential advisor from one of my not-top-ranked schools called to tell me that I've been selected for a competitive university-wide fellowship, and she was SO NICE. She seemed genuinely happy to be speaking to me and wanted to make sure I had all the information I needed in advance of my campus visit next week. This is . . . not my top-choice program, and I'm dreading having to tell this lovely woman that I don't want to come to her school. I also spoke to the department head at my top-choice school yesterday, and they're ALSO nominating me for a competitive university-wide fellowship. I almost cried on the phone. I was so intimidated by this process and worried that I wouldn't get in anywhere. It's unreal to have all of these schools competing for my attention.

Definitely go talk to your advisor! I dealt with something similar in my Masters program (quit therapy and meds because I thought I was fine - which I was at the time because of the therapy and meds), and I feel like I damaged a lot of my faculty relationships by not being more up front about what was going on. It's something I've worked on being more open about while I've been out in the working world. I don't think you have to tell them the whole story. You can just say something like, "I know I'm a bit behind on my personal project. I have a history of anxiety and depression, and I've been struggling a bit with my mental health over the last couple of months. I'm working with my doctor to make some adjustments to my medication and generally trying to take better care of myself, but it usually takes me a few weeks to start feeling like myself again after one of these episodes. Can we talk about making some adjustments to the timeline for this project so I can really do my best work?" You could also consider asking for extra support during this period. I find that more frequent check-ins are helpful when I'm trying to get back on track, though obviously YMMV. It's so easy to just stop taking your meds when you're feeling well - or when you're not feeling well and getting them filled seems too stressful. I've done it, and most of my friends with these types of struggles have done it. I hope your medical team is giving you the support you need, and I encourage you to start seeing a therapist again if it's not something you're currently doing. I've found it really helpful to have an established relationship with a therapist even during periods when I don't "feel" like I need one - partially because it keeps me working through deeper issues and partially because she helps me stay mindful about my overall condition. It's easier to see a relapse coming when you're checking in with someone regularly. Best of luck with this. It's frustrating to feel like your brain is actively trying to sabotage your success.

I never thought I'd be glad to be single at 30, but it makes this process a lot easier. When I told my boss where I was applying (6 schools in 6 states in . . . 5 regions?) she laughed and teased, "Are you sure you're not limiting yourself too much geographically?" I didn't even apply to Pitt and this response makes me anxious! They somehow made it sound as though decisions are being made imminently and also the committee hasn't even started reviewing applications.

I'm also planning to make my decisions as soon as possible. I've already eliminated one program, so I'm going to send them an email this week so they can offer my spot to another student. Plus, the longer I stew over this the longer I'm stressed out and not sleeping well. I'm ready to be focused on other things.

I'm going through an insomnia cycle, so I went back and totaled up my costs so far. I applied to six schools - a mix of public health and sociology programs: GRE prep materials: ~$100 (In retrospect, I went overboard on this.) GRE test and score reports: $367 (I could have saved so much money by looking up the school/department codes before the test, but I was too stressed out.) Application fees: $490 My transcript costs were <$10, but I know this can be very expensive depending on your school. I'm still spending money on campus visits. Even the ones that are reimbursed aren't always fully paid for. One school in my time zone is only reimbursing $100 of my expenses to come interview, which is a little less than half the cost. Another school will only pay up to $300 of my travel, which is going to be $350-$400. Plus, most of these visits require me to pay the costs up front and be reimbursed. And you always end up with weird little extras. The school doesn't provide meals on your travel days, which you often end up eating at the airport or in restaurants. You forget something and have to run to CVS to replace it. Don't even get me started on how much I'm spending on dog sitting. I'd put aside at least $2000 for application and travel expenses. If you're a student,you might also think about your interview/business casual wardrobe so you can shop sales between now and then.

On the one hand, I feel you. I often felt jealous of my classmates from wealthy families during my masters program. The program was not well funded (typical for MPH programs), so most of us did not receive a stipend or tuition assistance. Going in, I assumed that everyone else would be paying for school with loans and working to make ends meet like I was. Instead, many of my classmates were paying for school with educational trusts or being supported by their parents. This meant that they were free to take on volunteer work and unpaid internship positions that often gave them a leg up in terms of building their CVs. I ended up working retail holiday jobs and baby sitting to give myself some breathing room on top of the two part-time research jobs I took. That being said, I wonder if creating some extra space in your budget would help you feel better about your situation. I've tutored part time since finishing grad school (in addition to my full-time job) to help boost my savings and pay off my debt faster. You also might be able to pick up consulting work in your field. If you want something lower stress, maybe look into dog walking, house sitting, or driving for a delivery service. There are a lot of options that offer flexibility but give you the extra couple hundred dollars a month you need to feel okay about your situation.