Waitlist and Help Me Decide Thread 2019

[Keyz]

7 minutes ago, imonfire98 said:

I think the issue with holding multiple offers is that a lot of people wanna get all their offers before they decide. but the thing is some people know that they don't want to go to a program but they still hold on to the offer rather than saying no because they wanna have the freedom of making choices. 

I mean, if you get 4/5 offers that is definitely something to be proud of. But I think at any given time you can eliminate at least one offer if you have 3 or more.

 

Yeah see that’s a huge issue, you shouldn’t be holding onto an offer simply because you can. It’s not about bundling all your offers or trying to get as many as you can because in the end that’s not fair, I totally agree. Especially since most people know what their tops schools are and what they aren’t. 

[imonfire98]

14 minutes ago, Keyz said:

Yeah see that’s a huge issue, you shouldn’t be holding onto an offer simply because you can. It’s not about bundling all your offers or trying to get as many as you can because in the end that’s not fair, I totally agree. Especially since most people know what their tops schools are and what they aren’t. 

are you currently waiting for a spot as well?/

[Keyz]

4 minutes ago, imonfire98 said:

are you currently waiting for a spot as well?/

Haha unfortunately yes, I’m on three waitlists currently but I’m just trying to be patient. 

[round2_]

I don't think people are holding offers just to hold them. People are deciding the next 5-6 years of their life. It's going to be slow. I have 3 offers right now + another interview + a waitlist... No idea where I'll be or if I'll go. I have major concerns about each and need to figure out which issue worries me the least.

[Keyz]

13 minutes ago, round2_ said:

I don't think people are holding offers just to hold them. People are deciding the next 5-6 years of their life. It's going to be slow. I have 3 offers right now + another interview + a waitlist... No idea where I'll be or if I'll go. I have major concerns about each and need to figure out which issue worries me the least.

Yeah I’m sure majority of people are just trying to make a super hard decision for their future. I hope yours works out how you want it!!!

[ilobebrains]

23 hours ago, 1996kayden said:

If I were you I would accept SMU. Fully funded is (for me) a huge priority. I would not go to a program that wasn't fully funded.

 

17 hours ago, Psyhopeful said:

It sounds to me like your decision is practically made when you say SMU is more research focused and that’s a priority for you. Plus the warm feeling you got and the full funding. I’m not clinical, but 4 years including an internship sounds really intense, and like there’s an opportunity to get less out of it in the sense hat you’re trying to cram so much into such a short time. It’s hard to commit when there are options still out there, but I think you have to ask yourself if you were admitted to all three right now, which would you pick and go from there if it’s SMU.

Thank you both for your responses! I think I will go ahead and accept the position at SMU (excited!)

Another question - What is the protocol with the waitlisted schools after I've informed SMU of my decision? Should I reach out and ask them to take me off the list, or just turn down the offer in case I get off the waitlist in the future?

[Brainhelper]

9 minutes ago, ilobebrains said:

 

Thank you both for your responses! I think I will go ahead and accept the position at SMU (excited!)

Another question - What is the protocol with the waitlisted schools after I've informed SMU of my decision? Should I reach out and ask them to take me off the list, or just turn down the offer in case I get off the waitlist in the future?

I would reply to the other schools to take you off the waitlist since you will be accepting an offer. Congrats! Do you mind sending me POI of SMU? I am also applying to SMU, UTSW, and Baylor. Thank you!

[OhHotDog!]

4 hours ago, Psyhopeful said:

Two of my admitted students weekends aren’t until mid March and I still have one interview to go on next week, so I won’t be making any decision until close to April. It’s kind of annoying really that they’re so late. If one of my top choices waitlisted me though, I could see waiting to hear before declining my other admits. It’s tough. I hope you hear soon!

Ugh -- the admitted student day being in mid-March is a bummer. I actually have not visited a program that I was accepted into (skype interviews) and really want to get a feel for it before deciding. 

[imonfire98]

6 hours ago, OhHotDog! said:

Ugh -- the admitted student day being in mid-March is a bummer. I actually have not visited a program that I was accepted into (skype interviews) and really want to get a feel for it before deciding. 

Do you at least get to visit the program during the interview? 

[OhHotDog!]

32 minutes ago, imonfire98 said:

Do you at least get to visit the program during the interview? 

I had a schedule conflict in which I had already agreed to interview at another place on the interview weekend for this school (where I will be going to admitted students day). This will be my first time going to the school and officially meeting everyone in person.

[Psyhopeful]

17 hours ago, OhHotDog! said:

Ugh -- the admitted student day being in mid-March is a bummer. I actually have not visited a program that I was accepted into (skype interviews) and really want to get a feel for it before deciding. 

Same, I was accepted without interviews to these two and so I haven’t visited or met any of the faculty yet. 

[presentfancies]

Can the person who was waitlisted at Nebraska with DH message me about whether it was Hope or Hansen (same initials!)

Thanks- sorry to be that person ?

[presentfancies]

2 hours ago, presentfancies said:

Can the person who was waitlisted at Nebraska with DH message me about whether it was Hope or Hansen (same initials!)

Thanks- sorry to be that person ?

Nevermind I got waitlisted

[chopper.wife]

What are the things you all consider most important when deciding between programs and what things are "deal-breakers"? Just curious to see how others prioritize things and make difficult decisions.

[Psyhopeful]

6 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

What are the things you all consider most important when deciding between programs and what things are "deal-breakers"? Just curious to see how others prioritize things and make difficult decisions.

For me, funding is huge. I’m a single mom so I need to think about cost of living in the location and the amount of time I would spend teaching in addition to my own classes and research. I also think it’s important that you feel like you’re going to be able to study what you want to study both in terms of mentorship and resources. 

[xxxxxxxxxx]

On 2/20/2019 at 12:36 PM, round2_ said:

I don't think people are holding offers just to hold them. People are deciding the next 5-6 years of their life. It's going to be slow. I have 3 offers right now + another interview + a waitlist... No idea where I'll be or if I'll go. I have major concerns about each and need to figure out which issue worries me the least.

I can’t help but reference the Yale drama from a couple of days ago.....

This response strongly sounds like “THEY ARE MY OFFERS [!!!!!!]” lmao ? 

I personally (and basically every expert I work with in the field?) think it’s absolutely inappropriate and inconsiderate to hold on to more than 2 offers at any given time. It’s a jerk move, but you do you, boo!

[PsychWannabee]

48 minutes ago, chopper.wife said:

What are the things you all consider most important when deciding between programs and what things are "deal-breakers"? Just curious to see how others prioritize things and make difficult decisions.

I could absolutely NOT attend a program where the students seemed unhappy or fake. I do not care how prestigious it is. I could also not attend a place where my would-be advisor/mentor, and I did not seem to "click".

[PsychWannabee]

3 minutes ago, xxxxxxxxxx said:

I can’t help but reference the Yale drama from a couple of days ago.....

This response strongly sounds like “THEY ARE MY OFFERS [!!!!!!]” lmao ? 

I personally (and basically every expert I work with in the field?) think it’s absolutely inappropriate and inconsiderate to hold on to more than 2 offers at any given time. It’s a jerk move, but you do you, boo!

Tried to upvote this but GradCafe won't let me add anymore reactions ?‍♀️

Happy to see you posting again ?

[round2_]

8 minutes ago, xxxxxxxxxx said:

I can’t help but reference the Yale drama from a couple of days ago.....

This response strongly sounds like “THEY ARE MY OFFERS [!!!!!!]” lmao ? 

I personally (and basically every expert I work with in the field?) think it’s absolutely inappropriate and inconsiderate to hold on to more than 2 offers at any given time. It’s a jerk move, but you do you, boo!

Every grad student, post doc, and faculty member has told me not to make any decisions until I've gone on all my interviews/visit weekends and have full funding offers but strangers on the internet talked to "experts" who think it's rude so I guess I have to pick now ?

It makes no difference if you get off the waitlist today or in 2 weeks or in 1 month. Calm down. 

[Fi19]

2 hours ago, xxxxxxxxxx said:

I can’t help but reference the Yale drama from a couple of days ago.....

This response strongly sounds like “THEY ARE MY OFFERS [!!!!!!]” lmao ? 

I personally (and basically every expert I work with in the field?) think it’s absolutely inappropriate and inconsiderate to hold on to more than 2 offers at any given time. It’s a jerk move, but you do you, boo!

The OP clearly stated there are major issues to be figured out with each program, and that’s why the OP hasn’t turned down any offer yet. Don’t see any problem with someone being scrutinized about that.

However, I do agree that if someone is holding multiple offers just because they can, then that’s a different story. Please release your spots if you know for sure you’re not attending a certain program.

Ps: please don’t continue the results page drama on this thread and please be supportive of each other. ?

Edited February 21, 2019 by Fi19

[PokePsych]

4 hours ago, round2_ said:

Every grad student, post doc, and faculty member has told me not to make any decisions until I've gone on all my interviews/visit weekends and have full funding offers but strangers on the internet talked to "experts" who think it's rude so I guess I have to pick now ?

It makes no difference if you get off the waitlist today or in 2 weeks or in 1 month. Calm down. 

actually, it does for some people whether they here sooner or later; something with jobs, moving, housing contracts, families that may have to relocate, etc. I do know people who had to turn down offers because they arrived early April and there was no way to 'reorganize' their life again on time. Was almost in that position myself last year.

[round2_]

1 hour ago, Psygeek said:

actually, it does for some people whether they here sooner or later; something with jobs, moving, housing contracts, families that may have to relocate, etc. I do know people who had to turn down offers because they arrived early April and there was no way to 'reorganize' their life again on time. Was almost in that position myself last year.

Plenty of schools don't even finish interviews and send decisions until mid March. Everyone knew that when they applied. Everyone knew about the April 15 decision date. If you need to make other decisions before April, you might miss out on opportunities. That really sucks! It doesn't mean people are selfish to carefully consider their offers though. 

[PokePsych]

1 hour ago, round2_ said:

Plenty of schools don't even finish interviews and send decisions until mid March. Everyone knew that when they applied. Everyone knew about the April 15 decision date. If you need to make other decisions before April, you might miss out on opportunities. That really sucks! It doesn't mean people are selfish to carefully consider their offers though. 

I don't think I said that it is selfish for people to carefully consider their offers nor did I state that anywhere on this forum. I only questioned your assumption that it 'does not matter' when you get of the waitlist - because let's be honest - other than the psychological stress that can't be good (aren't we all psychologists here?!), going to grad school massively impacts people's lives and the sooner people know what they're up to the better...  I think it's only wise to consider one's offers very very carefully and think a bit about them - I think that sentiment is shared by everyone here. If you end up in a situation where you're waitlisted for your number one and because of that cannot commit to another program until the last moment - also fair game. And sure, people need time to weight their options and they should take their time. However, there is no point in holding on onto your 3rd, 4th, 5th, etc. offer for no other reason than just having them. I think that is also the reason why the 'rule of thumb' is to not hold on to more than two offers at a time when you made up your mind (preferably even less). As soon as you decide you have better alternatives, free up the spot for somebody else. Schools will also greatly appreciate it (for all the obvious reasons, they may also be missing out on candidates because they did not wait on the waitlist till the last minute for various reasons, etc. Plus it shows respect and enthusiasm). So simply don't wait till the last minute to decide simply because you can. 

Edited February 22, 2019 by Psygeek

[rainydaychai]

Hey guys, so again I find myself in a tough situation and would love some thoughts and advice. I have now received one acceptance!  However, there are now a LOT of pros and cons to consider. Most significantly, it's the only program I applied to that isn't funded, and tuition looks to be $18k a year. For me, that's not just "manageable with some extra RA hours," that's "going into debt" type money. Secondly, the research fit doesn't quite align as well as other programs (isn't bad though), and the program follows a generalist model, while I would much rather be in a POI's lab with a strong relationship with them from day one. However, it's not all bad! The program does have a formal forensic track, which is really important to me, and they do seem to have a prominent research presence at conferences etc. It's in a beautiful (albeit expensive) area that my SO could easily work in. From what I gained during the phone interview, there are opportunities to pay tuition off from teaching at community colleges nearby. 

With all this being said, and while the lure of being able to say, for sure, that I am starting my PhD this fall is strong, I can't help but worry that a year or two in the future I will be wistfully looking at other people in less generalist, funded programs while going further into debt myself.... thoughts? Anyone else in this situation?

[hlr20]

33 minutes ago, rainydaychai said:

Hey guys, so again I find myself in a tough situation and would love some thoughts and advice. I have now received one acceptance!  However, there are now a LOT of pros and cons to consider. Most significantly, it's the only program I applied to that isn't funded, and tuition looks to be $18k a year. For me, that's not just "manageable with some extra RA hours," that's "going into debt" type money. Secondly, the research fit doesn't quite align as well as other programs (isn't bad though), and the program follows a generalist model, while I would much rather be in a POI's lab with a strong relationship with them from day one. However, it's not all bad! The program does have a formal forensic track, which is really important to me, and they do seem to have a prominent research presence at conferences etc. It's in a beautiful (albeit expensive) area that my SO could easily work in. From what I gained during the phone interview, there are opportunities to pay tuition off from teaching at community colleges nearby. 

With all this being said, and while the lure of being able to say, for sure, that I am starting my PhD this fall is strong, I can't help but worry that a year or two in the future I will be wistfully looking at other people in less generalist, funded programs while going further into debt myself.... thoughts? Anyone else in this situation?

Howdy, I think you would feel more comfortable in a fully-funded program. PhD is hard enough without having to worry about finding your funding. My advise would be to hold onto this offer- if another one comes that is better, you can then make a decision to take it. It is just that money is actually an important factor of your mental health and stability throughout grad school, and if you have potential other options then you should wait and see.