2020 Applicants

[WildeThing]

1 hour ago, jm6394 said:

Good faith question here—the rest of my schools are implied rejections IMO. Thoughts on committing elsewhere before official notifications come through?

Are any schools pressuring you to commit? Do not accept an offer if you have decisions pending (unless you know you would not accept, but even then, you could leverage the offer). Moving on and starting the process is enticing, but you don’t want to have any regrets about this situation. 

[Kelsey1599]

1 minute ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

@Rani13 Thank you for the insider information. It's a shame to hear about the whiteness issue. It's an issue in Medieval Studies as well, but we keep fighting the good fight, so I hope Tufts is able to do so as well. 

@tinymica DO NOT! "Don't Open Dead Inside!" It made me have a minor freak-out, even though I'm aware of the issues we all face. 

@onerepublic96 Thank you, thank you, for your very kind words. Sometimes it's hard not to get lost in the fear that accompanies this space. It was hard to see some people so completely adamant that anything outside of a top 10-20 is a complete waste of time that will only result in regret. 

Out of reacts but I am right there with you @gooniesneversaydie

At this point, I just want to get into A program let alone THE program. 

With the help of this group I am starting to realize how things do work out for a reason so I wish the best to you in your decision and to everyone as the rest of the application season shakes out. Cheers to one more bit of ice cream lol??

[maorphd]

1 hour ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

I just finished reading the forum "Is attending a lower-ranked program worth it?" and now I feel sick.

I honestly don't know if I could do this a third time... 

Tufts has a consortium with BU, Brandeis, and MIT. Surely that has to count for something? That I could have the opportunity to forge relationships with people in my field outside of my home program? 

Someone tell me it's going to be alright...

I’m having similar problems and wanted to ask what everyone thinks. I am still waiting for responses from JHU and UCSB but the chances of getting in seems really slim at this point. So far, I’ve been accepted to UCR and some MA Programs but a degree from UCR doesn’t seem very promising in terms of securing a job (I’ve had a professor who tried to talk me out of applying at all last year because she and her cohorts had a terrible time finding a job with a degree from Harvard) although the faculty there looks like an incredible fit for me. (I don’t intend to stay in the U.S. after my degree so the job market might be slightly different but isn’t the Humanities in any country having such a hard time? ) Because I am an international applicant with only a BA, I was inclined to accept the MA offers from highly-ranked programs, thinking that it’d enhance my chances of getting into a higher-ranked Phd program in the end, but all my professors are telling me that any phd program is better than doing an MA, mostly because of its ridiculously extravagant expenses. (I have an external funding resource that would barely cover the tuition and will have to find ways to pay at least 30k.)  Also, i have no idea how i should manage the gap year after finishing the MA. If I get into two-year MA programs with some funding, that’d be ideal, but if not, I feel like it’s a really tough call, especially because i’m aware that it is also possible that i won’t get into UCR even after earning an MA. So what do you guys think? Will getting an MA from Ivy schools (or its equivalent) enhance my chances as an international applicant and help me become an equally competitive applicant, compensating for my undergrad education? Or should I settle for what i have now? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

Edited February 26, 2020 by maorphd

[MundaneSoul]

You know what? The doom and gloom over there almost tanked me too, and I kinda think it’s bullshit. Like do you want to go get TT at a Top 50 school? Then yeah, you probably should hold out for something high ranked. But like...are you doing this because you want to be the foremost scholar in your area or because you adore your subfield and want to keep learning in it and teaching in it? I don’t think you should let anybody tell you your lower ranked acceptance isn’t good enough. You might not get the prestigious job that they ultimately do, but that’s only a failure if you decide to frame it that way for yourself.

I’m getting my PhD because it’s the only path that makes sense to me. If I have to go alt ac or whatever down the line, fine. But I’m getting that degree, and I don’t believe for a second I’m going to work any less hard for it than anyone else, or that my experiences in my program will be any less valuable.

I see you and I love you, lower ranked university friends! Everything is going to be okay for all of us.

[coffeelyf]

6 hours ago, jm6394 said:

Can’t seem to find a DGS contact for NYU. Anyone have it?

@jm6394 The DGS is Robert Young. You can find his email address on his NYU page (all the way at the bottom of the Faculty list). 

[Rani13]

1 hour ago, maorphd said:

I’m having similar problems and wanted to ask what everyone thinks. I am still waiting for responses from JHU and UCSB but the chances of getting in seems really slim at this point. So far, I’ve been accepted to UCR and some MA Programs but a degree from UCR doesn’t seem very promising in terms of securing a job (I’ve had a professor who tried to talk me out of applying at all last year because she and her cohorts had a terrible time finding a job with a degree from Harvard) although the faculty there looks like an incredible fit for me. (I don’t intend to stay in the U.S. after my degree so the job market might be slightly different but isn’t the Humanities in any country having such a hard time? ) Because I am an international applicant with only a BA, I was inclined to accept the MA offers from highly-ranked programs, thinking that it’d enhance my chances of getting into a higher-ranked Phd program in the end, but all my professors are telling me that any phd program is better than doing an MA, mostly because of its ridiculously extravagant expenses. (I have an external funding resource that would barely cover the tuition and will have to find ways to pay at least 30k.)  Also, i have no idea how i should manage the gap year after finishing the MA. If I get into two-year MA programs with some funding, that’d be ideal, but if not, I feel like it’s a really tough call, especially because i’m aware that it is also possible that i won’t get into UCR even after earning an MA. So what do you guys think? Will getting an MA from Ivy schools (or its equivalent) enhance my chances as an international applicant and help me become an equally competitive applicant, compensating for my undergrad education? Or should I settle for what i have now? Any advice would be greatly appreciated! 

Congrats on coming this far! As a former international student myself, I think these are really pertinent questions. I want to say there is no single, right way of doing this. I've had a fairly unconventional journey myself, and am seeing some successes with PhD applications. My BA is from the Global South and my MA is from a non-fancy US university. There are pros and cons to worrying about prestige. On the one hand, it does count for a lot, and can certainly help you get in to a well ranked PhD program. On the other hand, it really isn't everything and there are ways to overcome the lack of prestige. Re: the cons of pursuing prestige, keep in mind that MA students at the ivies often get short shrift. The programs are known to be cash cows for the university, and thereby students don't always get taken seriously by faculty. They are sometimes ignored for PhD students. This means that research suffers, recommendations suffer, and ultimately PhD applications suffer. I also have known students from ivies who are so used to getting in everywhere that they get complacent when it really matters. I also am finding (based on feedback I'm getting from professors at the schools I've been admitted to) that (at least some) schools are more appreciative of strong candidates from less elite backgrounds, because it shows that you can work hard and fight even when things are not handed to you on a platter (a quality that counts for a lot in a bleak academic job market). That said, I don't want to claim that prestige doesn't matter, it most certainly makes things a lot easier. Those of us without prestige have to work twice as hard and often for half the reward. Anyway, all of this is to say that there's no one right way to do this, and you can work with whatever you choose. 

As to your specific dilemma, I do strongly favour funded terminal MA programs over shelling out tens of thousands of dollars for the ivies. They can be rigorous even as they are less fancy than the ivies. Worth looking into if you go the MA route. On the question of UCR, I will just say that I know an international student who began a PhD at a small, low-ranked PhD in the midwest and then re-applied to PhDs two years in. The second time around, they were accepted to several programs including a top three. They did not plan things this way, it just so happened that the program they first entered fell apart a year or so in, and they felt the need to move. But in retrospect they were able to spend two years doing coursework in a lesser known (but still substantive) PhD program before moving to a fancy one. 

If this is too rambly and incoherent, forgive me. It's late at night and I'm procrastinating on writing my thesis ?.

Edited February 26, 2020 by Rani13

[jm6394]

37 minutes ago, coffeelyf said:

@jm6394 The DGS is Robert Young. You can find his email address on his NYU page (all the way at the bottom of the Faculty list). 

Thank you! And congrats on those amazing choices!!

[jm6394]

2 hours ago, WildeThing said:

Are any schools pressuring you to commit? Do not accept an offer if you have decisions pending (unless you know you would not accept, but even then, you could leverage the offer). Moving on and starting the process is enticing, but you don’t want to have any regrets about this situation. 

Wanted to say no they definitely aren’t! And thanks for the reasoning. Guess I’m chasing the high of the acceptance ?

[gooniesneversaydie]

48 minutes ago, MundaneSoul said:

 You might not get the prestigious job that they ultimately do, but that’s only a failure if you decide to frame it that way for yourself.

You may want to copyright this sentence, because I'm going to make a motivational poster out of it. It fits perfectly with the quotes from JK Rowling's Harvard commencement speech I turn to during really tough times. 

[gradattack]

Hello! 

I have been lurking here for months and I am finally posting to ask for advice/rant. I am sorry if this is not very coherent but I am genuinely just heartbroken. I am an international student with a master's in English from Oxbridge but I am facing the very real possibility of a complete shut out this year. I have been waitlisted by UVa English and Emory Comp Lit but I have received outright rejections from six other schools. I am waiting to hear back from three more places, but I am not very hopeful about either of them. Upon contacting some places about feedback on the reasons behind my rejection or anything I should change to improve my chances if I re-apply, I received bittersweet responses like the following:

"I do understand your disappointment and, to be honest, while it’s been wonderful being able to be introduced to so many wildly diverse and interesting applicants and projects, there is a certain melancholy to the process, too, since it’s of course the case that there is a person at the other side of every application and, because we can’t accept everyone, this means that we have to turn down so many more applicants than we can accept....In regard to your file in particular, while both readers liked your attention to the complex lives and representations of X—and especially your attention to the role of memory, nostalgia, and trauma in the forging of marginalized identities—one scored you higher than the other and, in our more general discussion, arguments were made for other candidates. I wouldn’t say that there is anything in particular that I would suggest you do differently. You are already accomplished and I believe that much had to do with the increased size of the pool this year and the fact that we also need to make accommodations for applicants in different fields.

I know this probably isn’t a satisfactory answer. In the end, the competition is very stiff and we simply cannot accept even qualified applicants because, as you can imagine, there are many more qualified applicants than we can admit."

I wish someone would tell me something concrete about how to improve my chances if I decide to apply again. I was accepted to a bunch of UK schools last year but couldn't manage to secure funding. Perhaps it is foolish of me to consider giving PhD apps a go the third time around but I have never wanted to do anything else besides academia. I am not sure if being waitlisted and narrowly missing funding in the UK could mean that I have a shot, or if I am stupid to just not recognize that academia won't happen after two years of things not working out for me. Moreover, I don't really know what to change about my profile since I honestly believe I tried my best. I can't think of anything except trying to squeeze in one more publication or appearing for the GRE Subject Test, since I skipped that the last time. I am not sure about my master's supervisor's reference letter since I didn't interact with them too much, but it would look very suspicious if I didn't have my supervisor's letter. I also very much doubt they would have written a bad letter, since they readily agreed to write me one. I did put in a lot of effort which included getting my SoP and writing sample vetted by multiple professors and friends in grad school. I had a really high GRE verbal score (but a poor quant one and although I was told I shouldn't worry about it but now I am wondering if I should have).

Also does anyone know what is happening with NYU? Radio silence from that side, I emailed the DGS and he did not reply as well.

Fall 2020: Columbia, UPenn, McGill, NYU, Harvard South Asia, UCLA Comp Lit, Princeton, Emory Comp Lit, UVa, Michigan, UT Austin  (Implied rejection/Rejection/Pending/ Waitlist)
Publications: 1; BA: First Division from a South Asian university; MA: 2:1 from Oxbridge (Merit but not a distinction)
Profile: Three semesters of work experience as a TA 
Research interests: South Asian culture/memory studies/spatiality

 

Edited February 26, 2020 by gradattack

[jeangabrielle98]

9 hours ago, gooniesneversaydie said:

I just finished reading the forum "Is attending a lower-ranked program worth it?" and now I feel sick.

I honestly don't know if I could do this a third time... 

Tufts has a consortium with BU, Brandeis, and MIT. Surely that has to count for something? That I could have the opportunity to forge relationships with people in my field outside of my home program? 

Someone tell me it's going to be alright...

I recently spoke to a professor about this issue in academia. Lower ranked programs tend to have smaller cohorts, more funding per student, and just a healthier academic environment but in order to thrive on the job market you really have to do a lot of extra work and network for your life. I think it will be just fine because your educational experience will most likely be very enjoyable compared to other cut throat programs but you will need to do a bit extra grunt work by attending conferences more frequently and connecting with people in your field.  

[Jetpacked]

1 hour ago, gradattack said:

Hello! 

I have been lurking here for months and I am finally posting to ask for advice/rant. I am sorry if this is not very coherent but I am genuinely just heartbroken. I am an international student with a master's in English from Oxbridge but I am facing the very real possibility of a complete shut out this year. I have been waitlisted by UVa English and Emory Comp Lit but I have received outright rejections from six other schools. I am waiting to hear back from three more places, but I am not very hopeful about either of them. Upon contacting some places about feedback on the reasons behind my rejection or anything I should change to improve my chances if I re-apply, I received bittersweet responses like the following:

"I do understand your disappointment and, to be honest, while it’s been wonderful being able to be introduced to so many wildly diverse and interesting applicants and projects, there is a certain melancholy to the process, too, since it’s of course the case that there is a person at the other side of every application and, because we can’t accept everyone, this means that we have to turn down so many more applicants than we can accept....In regard to your file in particular, while both readers liked your attention to the complex lives and representations of X—and especially your attention to the role of memory, nostalgia, and trauma in the forging of marginalized identities—one scored you higher than the other and, in our more general discussion, arguments were made for other candidates. I wouldn’t say that there is anything in particular that I would suggest you do differently. You are already accomplished and I believe that much had to do with the increased size of the pool this year and the fact that we also need to make accommodations for applicants in different fields.

I know this probably isn’t a satisfactory answer. In the end, the competition is very stiff and we simply cannot accept even qualified applicants because, as you can imagine, there are many more qualified applicants than we can admit."

I wish someone would tell me something concrete about how to improve my chances if I decide to apply again. I was accepted to a bunch of UK schools last year but couldn't manage to secure funding. Perhaps it is foolish of me to consider giving PhD apps a go the third time around but I have never wanted to do anything else besides academia. I am not sure if being waitlisted and narrowly missing funding in the UK could mean that I have a shot, or if I am stupid to just not recognize that academia won't happen after two years of things not working out for me. Moreover, I don't really know what to change about my profile since I honestly believe I tried my best. I can't think of anything except trying to squeeze in one more publication or appearing for the GRE Subject Test, since I skipped that the last time. I am not sure about my master's supervisor's reference letter since I didn't interact with them too much, but it would look very suspicious if I didn't have my supervisor's letter. I also very much doubt they would have written a bad letter, since they readily agreed to write me one. I did put in a lot of effort which included getting my SoP and writing sample vetted by multiple professors and friends in grad school. I had a really high GRE verbal score (but a poor quant one and although I was told I shouldn't worry about it but now I am wondering if I should have).

Also does anyone know what is happening with NYU? Radio silence from that side, I emailed the DGS and he did not reply as well.

Fall 2020: Columbia, UPenn, McGill, NYU, Harvard South Asia, UCLA Comp Lit, Princeton, Emory Comp Lit, UVa, Michigan, UT Austin  (Implied rejection/Rejection/Pending/ Waitlist)
Publications: 1; BA: First Division from a South Asian university; MA: 2:1 from Oxbridge (Merit but not a distinction)
Profile: Three semesters of work experience as a TA 
Research interests: South Asian culture/memory studies/spatiality

 

I could have written some parts of this — Oxbridge BA and MA from elsewhere, waitlisted for funding last year at UK schools and eventually rejected, and I received almost exactly the same frustrating non-feedback last time (“liked the project, but not as much as others”). I chose to reapply in the UK system and I’m waiting to find out if I’ll be rejected for funding again, and if so I’ve pretty much decided not to apply a third time, though it’ll be a heartbreaking choice to make. However, both of us aren’t out of the game yet, and while I think you’re right to be thinking about contingencies, don’t jump the gun while there’s still a while to go in this cycle. I can’t offer much advice, just solidarity that there are those of us who may also have to make that choice with what feels like not enough info to go on.

[onerepublic96]

26 minutes ago, Jetpacked said:

I could have written some parts of this — Oxbridge BA and MA from elsewhere, waitlisted for funding last year at UK schools and eventually rejected, and I received almost exactly the same frustrating non-feedback last time (“liked the project, but not as much as others”). I chose to reapply in the UK system and I’m waiting to find out if I’ll be rejected for funding again, and if so I’ve pretty much decided not to apply a third time, though it’ll be a heartbreaking choice to make. However, both of us aren’t out of the game yet, and while I think you’re right to be thinking about contingencies, don’t jump the gun while there’s still a while to go in this cycle. I can’t offer much advice, just solidarity that there are those of us who may also have to make that choice with what feels like not enough info to go on.

 

2 hours ago, gradattack said:

Hello! 

I have been lurking here for months and I am finally posting to ask for advice/rant. I am sorry if this is not very coherent but I am genuinely just heartbroken. I am an international student with a master's in English from Oxbridge but I am facing the very real possibility of a complete shut out this year. I have been waitlisted by UVa English and Emory Comp Lit but I have received outright rejections from six other schools. I am waiting to hear back from three more places, but I am not very hopeful about either of them. Upon contacting some places about feedback on the reasons behind my rejection or anything I should change to improve my chances if I re-apply, I received bittersweet responses like the following:

"I do understand your disappointment and, to be honest, while it’s been wonderful being able to be introduced to so many wildly diverse and interesting applicants and projects, there is a certain melancholy to the process, too, since it’s of course the case that there is a person at the other side of every application and, because we can’t accept everyone, this means that we have to turn down so many more applicants than we can accept....In regard to your file in particular, while both readers liked your attention to the complex lives and representations of X—and especially your attention to the role of memory, nostalgia, and trauma in the forging of marginalized identities—one scored you higher than the other and, in our more general discussion, arguments were made for other candidates. I wouldn’t say that there is anything in particular that I would suggest you do differently. You are already accomplished and I believe that much had to do with the increased size of the pool this year and the fact that we also need to make accommodations for applicants in different fields.

I know this probably isn’t a satisfactory answer. In the end, the competition is very stiff and we simply cannot accept even qualified applicants because, as you can imagine, there are many more qualified applicants than we can admit."

I wish someone would tell me something concrete about how to improve my chances if I decide to apply again. I was accepted to a bunch of UK schools last year but couldn't manage to secure funding. Perhaps it is foolish of me to consider giving PhD apps a go the third time around but I have never wanted to do anything else besides academia. I am not sure if being waitlisted and narrowly missing funding in the UK could mean that I have a shot, or if I am stupid to just not recognize that academia won't happen after two years of things not working out for me. Moreover, I don't really know what to change about my profile since I honestly believe I tried my best. I can't think of anything except trying to squeeze in one more publication or appearing for the GRE Subject Test, since I skipped that the last time. I am not sure about my master's supervisor's reference letter since I didn't interact with them too much, but it would look very suspicious if I didn't have my supervisor's letter. I also very much doubt they would have written a bad letter, since they readily agreed to write me one. I did put in a lot of effort which included getting my SoP and writing sample vetted by multiple professors and friends in grad school. I had a really high GRE verbal score (but a poor quant one and although I was told I shouldn't worry about it but now I am wondering if I should have).

Also does anyone know what is happening with NYU? Radio silence from that side, I emailed the DGS and he did not reply as well.

Fall 2020: Columbia, UPenn, McGill, NYU, Harvard South Asia, UCLA Comp Lit, Princeton, Emory Comp Lit, UVa, Michigan, UT Austin  (Implied rejection/Rejection/Pending/ Waitlist)
Publications: 1; BA: First Division from a South Asian university; MA: 2:1 from Oxbridge (Merit but not a distinction)
Profile: Three semesters of work experience as a TA 
Research interests: South Asian culture/memory studies/spatiality

 

I’m sorry I don’t have much to offer in response to your concerns. I’m just wondering - to whom did you address your requests for feedback? 
I’m in the middle of a not-so-great cycle myself and have been wanting to ask several of the schools that rejected me for feedback but haven’t been sure of how to do that...

[Jetpacked]

1 minute ago, onerepublic96 said:

 

I’m sorry I don’t have much to offer in response to your concerns. I’m just wondering - to whom did you address your requests for feedback? 
I’m in the middle of a not-so-great cycle myself and have been wanting to ask several of the schools that rejected me for feedback but haven’t been sure of how to do that...

May not be too useful for you as it’s UK, but I emailed my POI to ask about what I could improve on a reapplication and was later able to arrange to drop by their office as I lived in the same city. There still wasn’t much they could say, either in writing or in person, and I can’t say I had much idea going into this cycle about what needed changing (although I did change a lot with the benefit of my MA research experience). UK Research Councils specify they do not offer any feedback so I received none from them.

[gradattack]

12 minutes ago, onerepublic96 said:

 

I’m sorry I don’t have much to offer in response to your concerns. I’m just wondering - to whom did you address your requests for feedback? 
I’m in the middle of a not-so-great cycle myself and have been wanting to ask several of the schools that rejected me for feedback but haven’t been sure of how to do that...

So I was told its a good idea to send introductory emails to POIs before applying and I received very encouraging responses from a bunch. I emailed them on the same thread to inform them about rejections. All my POIs expressed their sympathy and said they weren't on the admissions committee but some, like my Princeton POI, recommended I get in touch with the Director of Graduate Admissions to ask for feedback. So I sent the DGA a mail (importantly, I cc'd my POI) and received a very quick reply. The email was thoughtful and considerate but not particularly helpful.

I also think that since application fees in the US are so steep, departments should have a responsibility to provide feedback.
 

[jm6394]

Fresh batch of Columbia rejections today !!!! 

[lotsoffeelings]

2 hours ago, gradattack said:

So I was told its a good idea to send introductory emails to POIs before applying and I received very encouraging responses from a bunch. I emailed them on the same thread to inform them about rejections. All my POIs expressed their sympathy and said they weren't on the admissions committee but some, like my Princeton POI, recommended I get in touch with the Director of Graduate Admissions to ask for feedback. So I sent the DGA a mail (importantly, I cc'd my POI) and received a very quick reply. The email was thoughtful and considerate but not particularly helpful.

I also think that since application fees in the US are so steep, departments should have a responsibility to provide feedback.
 

It's such a tricky thing, because I'm also wondering why I paid like $800 to get no real feedback except "sorry, no." On the other hand, I know how much extra labor people in general are asked to do in academia so I'm wary of calling for something like robust individual feedback outright.

But as I think about the possibility of reapplying, I do want to know if there's anything I could have done differently. The email you received is a good reminder that it is usually not about a lack of qualifications, but other random decisions made my flawed humans. I keep going through my materials, and there's nothing more I could have done for most of them (4.0, 99th percentile GRE, LORs from "prestigious institution"), and I would guess I might get some kind of response similar to yours. In terms of what is left to work on in the next year, I am going to turn to more professors/friends for feedback on SoP and WS, since those are the only things left to improve at this point. 

Edited February 26, 2020 by lotsoffeelings

[vondafkossum]

Okay, but seriously: acceptances to UCR went out 31 January. Here it is 26 February, and the rest of us are just... still waiting for an official rejection. Is it just UCs that seem to have this problem? I remember waiting a very, very long time to get officially rejected by Berkeley (lol) last year. 

[Small potato]

17 minutes ago, lotsoffeelings said:

I keep going through my materials, and there's nothing more I could have done for most of them (4.0, 99th percentile GRE, LORs from "prestigious institution"), and I would guess I might get some kind of response similar to yours. In terms of what is left to work on in the next year, I am going to turn to more professors/friends for feedback on SoP and WS, since those are the only things left to improve at this point. 

I also have LORs from a “prestigious institution” and even though I’m starting to be mentally prepared for next year, the thought of telling my recommenders about this year fills me with dread. I know they put a great deal of effort into my letter and I hate to disappoint them. They had such high expectations and well here I am lol

[Wimsey]

On the day before my first campus visit to WashU, a conspicuous pimple decides to appear on my face. Love that for me. ?

 

 

[bethisbetter]

1 hour ago, vondafkossum said:

Okay, but seriously: acceptances to UCR went out 31 January. Here it is 26 February, and the rest of us are just... still waiting for an official rejection. Is it just UCs that seem to have this problem? I remember waiting a very, very long time to get officially rejected by Berkeley (lol) last year. 

In a complete state of delirium and desperation, I emailed UCR last night asking for them to rip off the bandaid already (in the nicest way possible, of course) so I'll let y'all know if I hear anything. The drawn out rejection is just pure torture.

[vondafkossum]

21 minutes ago, bethisbetter said:

In a complete state of delirium and desperation, I emailed UCR last night asking for them to rip off the bandaid already (in the nicest way possible, of course) so I'll let y'all know if I hear anything. The drawn out rejection is just pure torture.

Let me know if they respond! I sent an email about two weeks ago that has yet to receive a response.

[gooniesneversaydie]

Well, I got offered a MA spot at Boston College (same thing they offered last year - scholarship of 11K). BC was my dream school when I was in high school many moons ago - my god, the architecture - and it was hard to walk away from the offer last year.  However, as much as my heart wants to accept on aesthetic alone, I don't know if going into more debt is worth it. However, however, it opens the possibility of getting into a """better""" PhD program afterwards with a stronger writing sample and teaching experience. However, however, however, I'm also very, very tired of this process and want to just start the damn PhD already. 

Hey! Hey, Boston University! Yeah you, ya punk! I need you to hurry the F up and make my life either easier or even more indecisive! 

Edited February 26, 2020 by gooniesneversaydie

[jm6394]

2 hours ago, Wimsey said:

On the day before my first campus visit, a conspicuous pimple decides to appear on my face. Love that for me. ?

Never had acne in my life and yet...pimples ever since my ACCEPTANCE. Wtf

[digital_lime]

I'm going to post a quick rant, which I'm writing for cathartic/therapeutic reasons. Don't take anything in it too seriously.

In office hours the other day, I let my thesis chair know that I was not having much luck this season. She made a remark to the effect of: "I regret having wasted the time writing you a letter." She phrased it in a comical way--we joke darkly with one another--so it wasn't as if she was intending to be hurtful. But it stung, because before now, I had only thought of how disappointing it would be for me if I were shut out--not that it would be a disappointment to all of the people who took time to write letters of recommendation, look over my writing sample, listen to me stress out, and so on. I've taken on some debt in the course of my MA; I've also worked harder and for longer than I ever have in my life (and I have been in some strenuous work situations; doing physical labor for sixteen hours a day six days a week actually didn't feel as difficult as some moments in my MA). This was the only goal I have been working toward for years--the prospect of getting shut out now makes me feel so foolish. I exhausted myself in full display of everyone I care about and respect and it's beginning to look as if I have failed nonetheless.

(What's even more aggravating is the fact that so many "radical" scholars are putatively opposed to hierarchy, while the Ph.D. admissions process is so clearly an orgy of fascination with prestige. Academics, once again, show themselves to be all theory and no praxis. I was rejected by all of the prestigious schools I applied to and waitlisted by all of the less-prestigious schools I applied to, leaving me to wonder if the extreme lack of prestige at my current institution was a deciding factor in admissions decisions--unless, of course, my writing sample was precisely good enough to grant me access to one realm of academia but not the other, which strikes me as a rather unlikely scenario.)

Edit: with an hour's time between me and this post, I can tell that there's a somewhat unpleasant element of ressentiment to the above post. Of course, if I get admitted off of the waitlist (or to Fordham, the last school I've applied to but haven't heard back from), you can count on a post from me to the effect of, "The system works!!!! If at first u don't succeed, try, try again!!" and so on. As Bo Burnham says, though, if someone wins the lottery, they're going to tell you to buy a ticket. 

Edited February 26, 2020 by digital_lime
sheepish regret