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1 hour ago, missmarianne said:

GUYS! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!! THE BABY ARTICLE IS OUT IN THE WORLD NOW!

I do hope some of y'all can relate to this as well. 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-graduate-school-rejection-letter-as-written-by-my-anxiety-disorder-at-3-am

This is literally my entire inner anxious ass monologue throughout the application process in the most hysterical, brilliantly written piece. Woke my cat up with my laughing, and now he’s giving me a death glare. Pretty sure he’s on #TeamBEN now.

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2 minutes ago, queenofcarrotflowers said:

Pretty sure he’s on #TeamBEN now.

Okay the whole #TeamBEN paragraph sent me! I was laughing out loud throughout but that part really got me. Also... "no more difficult and complicated than the vast web of lies your professors have clearly been spinning about your talent and scholarly potential to keep from hurting your feelings" OUCH! 

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2 minutes ago, Bopie5 said:

Okay the whole #TeamBEN paragraph sent me! I was laughing out loud throughout but that part really got me. Also... "no more difficult and complicated than the vast web of lies your professors have clearly been spinning about your talent and scholarly potential to keep from hurting your feelings" OUCH! 

that bit HURT!!... I’m sending it to my former prof?

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11 minutes ago, Bopie5 said:

Okay the whole #TeamBEN paragraph sent me! I was laughing out loud throughout but that part really got me. Also... "no more difficult and complicated than the vast web of lies your professors have clearly been spinning about your talent and scholarly potential to keep from hurting your feelings" OUCH! 

Ahhhh! It's not true!! It's the Imposter Syndrome telling lies, haha! I literally had to have my friend ask me, "Would you go out of your way to tell someone that something badly-written was good?" before I realized what an odd line of thinking I had going on. Thanks for reading it! 

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18 minutes ago, queenofcarrotflowers said:

This is literally my entire inner anxious ass monologue throughout the application process in the most hysterical, brilliantly written piece. Woke my cat up with my laughing, and now he’s giving me a death glare. Pretty sure he’s on #TeamBEN now.

Thank you so, so much!! I'm dying at your cat fighting off his feelings of sleepiness to let you know how angry he is with you. That's my cat, too!

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44 minutes ago, NervousYolk said:

I finished high school after 2012 but I almost did not get to graduate because I couldn't pass the fitness test (it may have been a state mandated one? I have no idea) but it caused a lot of trouble at my school and it gave me so much stress that i've just ignored ever since as repressed trauma?

WHYYYYY?! That seems so open to ableism!?! 

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3 hours ago, missmarianne said:

I mean, I'm a pretty private person and I don't really like atten--MARY ANN. My name is Mary Ann. You can read my academic work on my google scholar page https://scholar.google.com/citations?user=2xYWTxMAAAAJ&hl=en but my more interesting article comes out todaaaaaay with McSweeney's!! Will 100% post iiiiiiiit!!! EXCIIIIIITED!!

Also, no one make fun of my headshot even though I look like I survived the Titanic sinking and am still coming to terms with it. I made the mistake of, last minute, sending that photo into a Young Scholars thing where I was talking about some projects I'd been doing and they needed my picture and now it haaaaaunts me. 

Given your interests, have you ever tried branching out into the interdisciplinary world of American Studies? You can still get a job in English, but it opens you to working with multiple departments. I haven’t read through all of your stuff, but the abstracts that I read seem to fit with American Studies, as well. (Also, American Drama is much less represented in English Departments. You mostly see it in drama, theatre history, and interdisciplinary American programs today—not your fault, just a growing trend.) Just my opinion :)

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11 minutes ago, Shake829 said:

Given your interests, have you ever tried branching out into the interdisciplinary world of American Studies? You can still get a job in English, but it opens you to working with multiple departments. I haven’t read through all of your stuff, but the abstracts that I read seem to fit with American Studies, as well. (Also, American Drama is much less represented in English Departments. You mostly see it in drama, theatre history, and interdisciplinary American programs today—not your fault, just a growing trend.) Just my opinion :)

Out of reactions for the day, but I had thought a bit about that, yeah. It's tough finding American Drama people for sure (like, 8-10 in the entire country tough!). I have been advised to apply to some interdisciplinary areas but I always worry I would have to learn how to direct or something and I'm just not creative in that way. This might be the best route for me, though, given that that is Chris Bigsby's field anyway. 

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3 minutes ago, missmarianne said:

Out of reactions for the day, but I had thought a bit about that, yeah. It's tough finding American Drama people for sure (like, 8-10 in the entire country tough!). I have been advised to apply to some interdisciplinary areas but I always worry I would have to learn how to direct or something and I'm just not creative in that way. This might be the best route for me, though, given that that is Chris Bigsby's field anyway. 

American Studies has a literature/history/culture subfield. That seems like something that would work for you. Nothing “creative” with that.

This just came to my mind because I went two large state schools (with large English departments) for my degrees in English, and neither department had an American drama specialist. I took one class on Arthur Miller, and it was a class that was cross listed three times with English, American Studies, and Drama. And the professor had tenure with the drama department. 

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3 hours ago, missmarianne said:

GUYS! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!! THE BABY ARTICLE IS OUT IN THE WORLD NOW!

I do hope some of y'all can relate to this as well. 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-graduate-school-rejection-letter-as-written-by-my-anxiety-disorder-at-3-am

This. is. GOLD!!!! 

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23 minutes ago, shamrox said:

I wish to thank our very own Mary Ann for the pithy and outstanding piece on McSweeney's, though I am levying some plagiarism accusations because these, particular the c-section and TeamBen business was pulled directly from my skull at 3 a.m. 

Bahahaha! FAIR. P sure my psychologist is going to have similar accusations since I basically just reproduced all her notes with this. ?

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6 hours ago, missmarianne said:

GUYS! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!! THE BABY ARTICLE IS OUT IN THE WORLD NOW!

I do hope some of y'all can relate to this as well. 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-graduate-school-rejection-letter-as-written-by-my-anxiety-disorder-at-3-am

Popping back on this site just to congratulate you on this absolutely hilarious article and also to give you an extra high five since based on your Google Scholar page you're attending my alma mater woooo go state schools

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7 hours ago, missmarianne said:

GUYS! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!! THE BABY ARTICLE IS OUT IN THE WORLD NOW!

I do hope some of y'all can relate to this as well. 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-graduate-school-rejection-letter-as-written-by-my-anxiety-disorder-at-3-am

Hahaha! This is brilliant! Thank you for this!

Is this presidential fitness test an actual test? I thought you had made it up but then the comments made me think it could just be something American! Well, reality is always stranger than 'satire'. The pun on fitness is spot on though!

'for the lolz pile' hahaha! The Pulitzer part struck a touchy chord-- the other day I had to play this chord to my father to rein in his 'hopes' (read 'delusions') for whenever I apply. He did discern that I was 'only a bit' (note 'only a bit'. parents and their faith in their genes! *tch and a long sigh*) out of tune amidst potential Nobel Prize winners and Pulitzer winners +_+

How I wish all ad comms read  this!

But you are not a bad egg, in a sarcastic vein or otherwise.

Edited by Hard times!
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4 minutes ago, karamazov said:

Popping back on this site just to congratulate you on this absolutely hilarious article and also to give you an extra high five since based on your Google Scholar page you're attending my alma mater woooo go state schools

Yessssssssss! PANTHERSSSSS!!!

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4 hours ago, Shake829 said:

American Studies has a literature/history/culture subfield. That seems like something that would work for you. Nothing “creative” with that.

This just came to my mind because I went two large state schools (with large English departments) for my degrees in English, and neither department had an American drama specialist. I took one class on Arthur Miller, and it was a class that was cross listed three times with English, American Studies, and Drama. And the professor had tenure with the drama department. 

Did I answer this or mentally answer it?! This sounds like a great idea, either way! Thanks v much for the suggestion! I dont' think I realized AS was not history-based. ❤️

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7 hours ago, missmarianne said:

GUYS! IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE!!!! THE BABY ARTICLE IS OUT IN THE WORLD NOW!

I do hope some of y'all can relate to this as well. 

https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-graduate-school-rejection-letter-as-written-by-my-anxiety-disorder-at-3-am

This was such a total delight to read. Thank you! This brightened my evening, as I obsessively check my portals to see if annnnyyyyyone is ready/willing to reject me to my face...

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9 minutes ago, mashatheicebear said:

This was such a total delight to read. Thank you! This brightened my evening, as I obsessively check my portals to see if annnnyyyyyone is ready/willing to reject me to my face...

Thank you so much for reading! I'm super touched that everyone is taking the time out to look at this in the midst of a tough season for so many of us. ❤️ Hoping things turn around for you soon!

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1 hour ago, Hard times! said:

Hahaha! This is brilliant! Thank you for this!

Is this presidential fitness test an actual test? I thought you had made it up but then the comments made me think it could just be something American! Well, reality is always stranger than 'satire'. The pun on fitness is spot on though!

'for the lolz pile' hahaha! The Pulitzer part struck a touchy chord-- the other day I had to play this chord to my father to rein in his 'hopes' (read 'delusions') for whenever I apply. He did discern that I was 'only a bit' (note 'only a bit'. parents and their faith in their genes! *tch and a long sigh*) out of tune amidst potential Nobel Prize winners and Pulitzer winners +_+

How I wish all ad comms read  this!

But you are not a bad egg, in a sarcastic vein or otherwise.

Thank you so, so much and YES. It's 100% a real test (or it was before 2012). I think there are sit-ups/push-ups/pull-ups/a mile-run. They tested us on this in my elementary school and--like many future grad students--my only athletic skill at the time was deftly avoiding the dodge balls. I adore your dad's complete faith in you!  Sounds like my mom! The way she shared this article on her socials started out, "My brilliant daughter..." ? I'm fully expecting all of us to--at the very least--be nominated for Nobels/Pulitzers some day. ❤️❤️❤️ 

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6 hours ago, missmarianne said:

Thank you so, so much and YES. It's 100% a real test (or it was before 2012). I think there are sit-ups/push-ups/pull-ups/a mile-run. They tested us on this in my elementary school and--like many future grad students--my only athletic skill at the time was deftly avoiding the dodge balls. I adore your dad's complete faith in you!  Sounds like my mom! The way she shared this article on her socials started out, "My brilliant daughter..." ? I'm fully expecting all of us to--at the very least--be nominated for Nobels/Pulitzers some day. ❤️❤️❤️ 

Haha! That's very ableist indeed. My only athletic skill back then was and still is running for life (provided the safe corner was/is about three minutes away from the starting point. huh!).

Your mom seems justified though-- your article is hilarious and poignant at the same time! I am sure many grad students would love to see their greatest insecurities materialise like this, given the overwhelming gloom of the application period.

My father's optimism is more along the lines of denial. I plan to apply for Fall 2022 and I do anticipate a shutout (at least I won't be crestfallen and after having seen so many brilliant scholars the burden of rejection would somewhat be more bearable) but managing disappointed parents is nothing short of disaster management! Their expectations have a ridiculous social dimension and what was meant to be collateral damage takes the stage! You manage their disappointment and their lost opportunities to brag about their children's still-unheard-of potential.

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Waitlisted at SUNY Albany this morning! Only 5 funded positions, and I'm at the top of the waitlist for one. I'm thrilled and also incredibly anxious about more waiting. This is my top choice program! (media AND poetics? a dream)

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Just now, missmarianne said:

Out at Michigan. Rejected from 6/7 schools with a waitlist at Iowa. Feeling bewildered, angry, and heartbroken. 

I feel this hard. Out at Michigan as well, with only one waitlist possibility (UVA). I'm curious to know how many Michigan ultimately accepted this cycle...

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