Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

[grump]

On 3/6/2016 at 5:24 PM, Stats2016 said:

Harvard (Applied Mathematics), PhD (F16) Rejected via E-mail on 7 Mar 2016

I know I'm smarter than all the Chinese that got in over me

So salty. 

Holy crap, that is awful.

[gingin6789]

On 3/6/2016 at 5:24 PM, Stats2016 said:

Harvard (Applied Mathematics), PhD (F16) Rejected via E-mail on 7 Mar 2016

I know I'm smarter than all the Chinese that got in over me

So salty. 

Are you sure it wasn't Councilman Milton who wrote this?

Sounds like something he would say. 

 

 

[Kingace]

On 2/28/2016 at 8:07 AM, morpheus said:

^ Guys, they're making fun of Hillary Clinton 

Rightfully so, I thought it was clever.

[brush]

A rejection from UW-Madison I found amusing:

• Solicited rejection. They didn't even review my application, because my SOP did not upload correctly. No email, no phone call, nothing. I guess I'll consider it a $100.00 donation to a failing university. The real question is whether I can write it off in my taxes...

[Euler]

I feel for whoever this is...

Brandeis Univeristy

(Pure) Mathematics, PhD (F16)

Rejected via E-mail on 23 Mar 2016

I

24 Mar 2016

Was offered to be considered for the masters program. I already have a masters in Math

Edited March 26, 2016 by Euler

[pterosaur]

10 hours ago, brush said:

A rejection from UW-Madison I found amusing:

• Solicited rejection. They didn't even review my application, because my SOP did not upload correctly. No email, no phone call, nothing. I guess I'll consider it a $100.00 donation to a failing university. The real question is whether I can write it off in my taxes...

Ouch. I'm from Wisconsin. The "failing university" part makes me sad. Our state government is determined to destroy what has historically been a fantastic education system.

[DC1020]

Ouch (not me thankfully)

• 0a/0w/27r. Bad season. What's the probability of such a rejection rate?

[vestigialtraits]

2 hours ago, DC1020 said:

Ouch (not me thankfully)

• 0a/0w/27r. Bad season. What's the probability of such a rejection rate?

That's terrifying 

[pterosaur]

3 hours ago, DC1020 said:

Ouch (not me thankfully)

• 0a/0w/27r. Bad season. What's the probability of such a rejection rate?

That usually means that they were applying for programs way out of league for what would be reasonable with their stats/experience.

[morpheus]

13 hours ago, pterosaur said:

That usually means that they were applying for programs way out of league for what would be reasonable with their stats/experience.

Or it means that they applied to both reach and safety schools, and got unlucky with the safeties. Or they're switching fields and applied to many options in hopes that one would smile upon their unique background. Super judgey bro 

[ChrisTOEFert]

On 4/5/2016 at 8:17 AM, morpheus said:

Or it means that they applied to both reach and safety schools, and got unlucky with the safeties. Or they're switching fields and applied to many options in hopes that one would smile upon their unique background. Super judgey bro 

No matter how it's looked at, it's a pretty awful application season, qualified applicant or not (not to mention the drain on the wallet, ~$2700 down the tubes!).  While they may not be grad school material, that type of kick in the teeth is almost laughable (I would if it was me, it's so bad it's almost funny).  Like my first GRE practice test when I got 4% in the quant and I thought it meant I was in the top 4% and I was all braggy to my parents and then they laid the smack down.  27 rejections, while obviously very jarring does show that there could be something glaringly wrong with the applicant's profile.  With that said, I believe it fits well in this thread not because it's funny and sad, but more because of how obscure it is.

Edited April 7, 2016 by ChrisTOEFert

[morpheus]

30 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

No matter how it's looked at, it's a pretty awful application season, qualified applicant or not (not to mention the drain on the wallet, ~$2700 down the tubes!).  While they may not be grad school material, that type of kick in the teeth is almost laughable (I would if it was me, it's so bad it's almost funny).  Like my first GRE practice test when I got 4% in the quant and I thought it meant I was in the top 4% and I was all braggy to my parents and then they laid the smack down.  27 rejections, while obviously very jarring does show that there could be something glaringly wrong with the applicant's profile.  With that said, I believe it fits well in this thread not because it's funny and sad, but more because of how obscure it is.

The applicant in question was also going for a program in a hyper-competitive field: economics. I'm shocked that they let anyone into a science-related field when their practice quant score was a 4%! Were you high? 

[ChrisTOEFert]

36 minutes ago, morpheus said:

The applicant in question was also going for a program in a hyper-competitive field: economics. I'm shocked that they let anyone into a science-related field when their practice quant score was a 4%! Were you high? 

It was my first math test I had done in 4 years, and I am admittedly AWFUL at math.  I managed to get it up to a 148 for test day, with a 152 verbal and a 4.5 written.  I only needed it for one school, as all the rest of the programs I applied to were out of the U.S.  I got in anyways with those horrible scores with several merit-scholarships so yes, be shocked.  Whatever, I think the GRE is useless and lame anyway, and I think my situation semi-proves that.

Edited April 7, 2016 by ChrisTOEFert

[morpheus]

2 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

It was my first math test I had done in 4 years, and I am admittedly AWFUL at math.  I managed to get it up to a 148 for test day, with a 152 verbal and a 4.5 written.  I only needed it for one school, as all the rest of the programs I applied to were out of the U.S.  I got in anyways with those horrible scores with several merit-scholarships so yes, be shocked.  Whatever, I think the GRE is useless and lame anyway, and I think my situation semi-proves that.

Agreed! Congrats on pulling it up. It's just that a 4% is extra scary when you consider that there are plenty non-STEM majors who take the test as well. Since the GRE quant is effectively high school calculus, I would have questioned your abilities to understand basic analytical techniques in your field, e.g. carbon dating (had you not improved) 

[ChrisTOEFert]

27 minutes ago, morpheus said:

Agreed! Congrats on pulling it up. It's just that a 4% is extra scary when you consider that there are plenty non-STEM majors who take the test as well. Since the GRE quant is effectively high school calculus, I would have questioned your abilities to understand basic analytical techniques in your field, e.g. carbon dating (had you not improved) 

Thanks? I think....?

[morpheus]

1 hour ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

Thanks? I think....?

Haha sorry, I just can't understand your research. Do you collect data and pass it off to someone else to analyze? Do you expect all your data to be fit with a nice, normal regression? How do you communicate with mathematical biologists/sociologists and computer scientists when you need fancier techniques (like machine learning, perhaps) without having a rudimentary knowledge of those things? 

[ChrisTOEFert]

1 hour ago, morpheus said:

Haha sorry, I just can't understand your research. Do you collect data and pass it off to someone else to analyze? Do you expect all your data to be fit with a nice, normal regression? How do you communicate with mathematical biologists/sociologists and computer scientists when you need fancier techniques (like machine learning, perhaps) without having a rudimentary knowledge of those things? 

Look, I don't know what you're trying to prove, or why you're trying to make me look and feel inadequate but it's not working.

If you really must know, I study ancient DNA.  That means I go into a lab and I create a bunch of chemical mixtures (usually comprised of some sort of mix EDTA and Proteinase K) that digest the ancient tissue (be it bone or what have you).  I then take the DNA and put into a DNA library with primers and end repair adapters and a bunch of other things to amplify the fragmented and damaged DNA.  And like magic, after a few hours, I get a read out, via a BioRad PCR machine that creates a regression curve.  Anything between 90% and 110% is perfect efficiency for the PCR, anything less, there is likely some sort of inhibitor in the mix.  If it doesn't work, I go back and try again.  If it does work, I visualize the PCR products on an gel and then take them to be sequenced.  My finished and sequenced DNA I then input into any number of computer programs, including programs I have written myself in Python to help me analyze my data for what I need done.

I never said my math scores were good.  So I actually don't communicate with "real" scientists, they are so far advanced my brain can't comprehend what they say.  I usually end up having an epileptic seizure and wake up with my research all done for me and a sudden publication-worthy paper all typed up for me.  Of course, I don't have any idea what it says because my rudimentary knowledge is so far beneath all of the other people's understanding of things.  Especially those in math and engineering, they are really too smart for me. 

[morpheus]

6 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

My finished and sequenced DNA I then input into any number of computer programs, including programs I have written myself in Python to help me analyze my data for what I need done.

But how do you analyze your data? Is this a qualitative analysis? I'm not dissing... both data-collectors and model-builders are necessary for science to progress. It just seems that at the PhD level, you're going to have to dive into the analytical side of things, or at least use some type of analysis to guide your work (maybe in finding the ideal parts to sample, or improving the PCA mixtures, or whatever). I'm not saying you have to be an expert at solving equations, but I'm sure your undergraduate education required some kind of mathematical intuition beyond high-school math. 

The only things I'm dissing you for are (1) bragging about how bad you are at math, and (2) judging a stranger for getting rejected from a ton of programs in a field that is very much unlike your own. 

[ChrisTOEFert]

9 minutes ago, morpheus said:

But how do you analyze your data? Is this a qualitative analysis? I'm not dissing... both data-collectors and model-builders are necessary for science to progress. It just seems that at the PhD level, you're going to have to dive into the analytical side of things, or at least use some type of analysis to guide your work (maybe in finding the ideal parts to sample, or improving the PCA mixtures, or whatever). I'm not saying you have to be an expert at solving equations, but I'm sure your undergraduate education required some kind of mathematical intuition beyond high-school math. 

The only things I'm dissing you for are (1) bragging about how bad you are at math, and (2) judging a stranger for getting rejected from a ton of programs in a field that is very much unlike your own. 

I told you, I analyze it using pipelines that I, or someone else has created.  They will tell me the GC% of the DNA, the haplogroup, the amount of damage to the DNA, and so forth.  Currently, that is all I need to know for my MSc.  I have no clue how much more detailed I will need to get for the PhD, but it will  likely be more detailed, yes.  And for the record, I am not bragging about how bad I am at math.  I am actively trying to improve it and I am quite happy with my GRE score given what I had started with, even with what I had a week or so prior to the test.  I actually find it very embarrassing how poor I am in that sense, but numbers just don't work well in my head.

[morpheus]

1 minute ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

And for the record, I am not bragging about how bad I am at math.  I am actively trying to improve it and I am quite happy with my GRE score given what I had started with, even with what I had a week or so prior to the test.  I actually find it very embarrassing how poor I am in that sense, but numbers just don't work well in my head.

And I sincerely congratulate you on this! Oftentimes people who think they're "bad at math" really aren't- they just haven't had particularly good or inspiring math teachers growing up. Your PhD program sounds like a blast though, enjoy it! 

[sjoh197]

47 minutes ago, ChrisTOEFert said:

 So I actually don't communicate with "real" scientists, they are so far advanced my brain can't comprehend what they say.  I usually end up having an epileptic seizure and wake up with my research all done for me and a sudden publication-worthy paper all typed up for me.  Of course, I don't have any idea what it says because my rudimentary knowledge is so far beneath all of the other people's understanding of things.  Especially those in math and engineering, they are really too smart for me. 

Holy shit... this is probably the funniest damn thing I've ever read. 

[puyple]

On 3/26/2016 at 11:03 PM, Euler said:

I feel for whoever this is...

Brandeis Univeristy

(Pure) Mathematics, PhD (F16)

Rejected via E-mail on 23 Mar 2016

I

24 Mar 2016

Was offered to be considered for the masters program. I already have a masters in Math

That's harsh lol

[Here we go]

Auto correct strikes again!  

 

University Of South Florida

Speech Language Pathology, Masters (F16)

Other via Other on 8 Apr 2016

A

9 Apr 2016

report spam To the USF poster below: congratulations on getting accosted! There is an FB page! It's called USF SLP Class of 2018 Here is the link! www.facebook.com/groups/829165967228959/

[belles]

On 4/7/2016 at 10:12 AM, sjoh197 said:

Holy shit... this is probably the funniest damn thing I've ever read. 

Lmao same. Reading that was like watching a Hulk Hogan smack-down. 

[Stats2016]

Michigan State University (MSU)

Statistics, PhD (F16)

Rejected via E-mail on 14 Apr 2016

I

14 Apr 2016

report spam Emailed to ask. Rejected by every school I applied to. Excuse me while I get the noose ready.

Ouch. I'm sure a lot of people can relate. Don't give up!