Venting Thread- Vent about anything.

[fluffercloud]

On 2/24/2019 at 9:59 PM, perpetualalligator said:

I don't think that's fair. I'm not @fluffercloud but I think that what they just wanted to express their frustration and disappointment about all of this and there is nothing wrong with that. I think that it is ok to feel bad about an interview not going as well as you wanted it to even though you already have options. The title of this thread says "vent about anything", so I think this should be a place where people are not judged for what they post or how the feel. 

For what it's worth fluffercloud, I understand that it might very frustrating, and you might feel inadequate or at least that you gave that impression to the admissions committee, but I think that as human beings they understand that people sometimes have bad days. From what I understand you talked to them in two other occasions (including the writing task?), and you felt that you did well, so they know that you are a capable person. Also technical issues are out of your control and they should be understanding of that. Don't worry, you probably did fine, you did not make them question their decision to give you a chance and one seemingly bad interview will not ruin your chances. If it does, then it just wasn't meant to be. You also have gotten into your top choice so that means that someone saw something in you and thought it was worth it so, you're fine. Don't worry! You got this

@perpetualalligator thank you so much for your kind words! I honestly just needed to hear that, I think. You are right, it shouldn't really matter. I do feel bad about the interview and I could have done way better. It wasn't good on my morale, but I do feel a lot better now! Guess I'll start trusting myself a bit more from now on. Thank you again for being super nice and understanding! 

 

[PokePsych]

On 2/24/2019 at 2:42 PM, Adelaide9216 said:

One of my ideas got stolen.  

wowwowwwow hope someone gets some bad karma then

[crackademik]

I feel like a terrible person. My anxiety is at an all time high despite having gotten 3 funded offers from good schools. I don't know anyone else (in person) who is going through this process so they all think I'm a moron for being worried while having offers. I still have yet to hear back from 4 schools so I don't want to go ahead and accept an offer without knowing all of my options, but I know it's not polite to wait until late March to make the decision. I also don't want to accept an offer and then back out, which would be even worse. I still have not heard from my current top choice. My anxiety is so bad that it's affecting me at work and in school. I just want to be done and accept an offer so I can relax until the program starts. Also I agree with @TopofthemuffinTOYOU in that I'm definitely going to go on an application burning rampage if I get rejected from schools in April. It would be one thing if I was on a waitlist, but as far as I know, I'm not on a single one. 

 

[Jenny01]

One of my lab peers tried to sabotage me today. 

Our adviser spends a lot of time comparing us, our work ethic and how much time we spend in the office. Before he arrived there was an unspoken rule that we would largely ignore these rants, do our best and no one was trying to be his favorite by stepping on others. I have not gotten a chance to get to know him well and he is hard to read. I tend not to trust people who are hard to read they are generally over-complicated and disingenuous. It doesn't matter he is here, our adviser is very happy with him so I make the effort to be friendly. We have not had enough interactions for there to have ever been something he could possibly be upset with me about. I was suppose to reach out to him and coordinate access to materials I needed. Our adviser is unavailable today and I don’t have access to the materials but sabotager does. I reached out to him yesterday and today and he never responded. I decide I should just show up just in case and there he is shocked to see me and refusing to make eye contact. Our adviser calls speaks to him and of course asks if I showed up to get what I needed. So if I hadn’t taken the initiative when our adviser called to ask what was I up to? What was his plan to say I completely neglected my responsibilities? I never reached out?  

[Adelaide9216]

My university asked me to give a public speaking workshop to students. Yes, I do a lot of public speaking, but I have never been "taught" how to do it, so I have zero idea what I will teach to these students. 

Sometimes, I am surprised by the level of trust that people have towards me. 

[perpetualalligator]

I am extremely frustrated and a part of me feels that I am partly to blame. I feel like I've been jerked around by one of my top choices. Based on the previous years' results they should have already uploaded decisions and a couple of decisions have in fact been posted. I have not received any decision, I have called, I emailed my POI and they told me that they could not give me any information but that I would hear from the admissions committee soon (this was on Friday). I emailed the department for information today and they said that I should contact my POI. ¿ENTONCES QUE? Who is going to give me answers??? Writing this down made me realize that it has only been a week since I called so it might still be that "soon" time frame but it has felt like it's been so long.

I'm trying to be patient but I can't deal with the uncertainty. I'm like 90% sure that I'll end up on the waitlist and I'll probably not go because I have already been accepted at another school that I like just as much, so I'm also annoyed at myself for being so anxious about all of this. If anything, getting accepted would mean trying to decide between two schools I really like and spending money on a visit to that school and since I am an international student that becomes a bit expensive even if they cover most of the travel costs. So, why do I care so much? 

 

Btw, @Adelaide9216 (I saw your post when I was writing this so I thought I might as well include it here) this might sound kind of creepy but based on what I've see you have posted I think you are a QUEEN. I think that your university probably asked you to do the workshop not to "teach" but maybe just share your experiences speaking in public. You probably do it very well, so just you know share what you do, how you make yourself feel comfortable or how you prepare yourself when you have to do a presentation for instance and I am sure you will rock it!

[Adelaide9216]

42 minutes ago, perpetualalligator said:

I am extremely frustrated and a part of me feels that I am partly to blame. I feel like I've been jerked around by one of my top choices. Based on the previous years' results they should have already uploaded decisions and a couple of decisions have in fact been posted. I have not received any decision, I have called, I emailed my POI and they told me that they could not give me any information but that I would hear from the admissions committee soon (this was on Friday). I emailed the department for information today and they said that I should contact my POI. ¿ENTONCES QUE? Who is going to give me answers??? Writing this down made me realize that it has only been a week since I called so it might still be that "soon" time frame but it has felt like it's been so long.

I'm trying to be patient but I can't deal with the uncertainty. I'm like 90% sure that I'll end up on the waitlist and I'll probably not go because I have already been accepted at another school that I like just as much, so I'm also annoyed at myself for being so anxious about all of this. If anything, getting accepted would mean trying to decide between two schools I really like and spending money on a visit to that school and since I am an international student that becomes a bit expensive even if they cover most of the travel costs. So, why do I care so much? 

 

Btw, @Adelaide9216 (I saw your post when I was writing this so I thought I might as well include it here) this might sound kind of creepy but based on what I've see you have posted I think you are a QUEEN. I think that your university probably asked you to do the workshop not to "teach" but maybe just share your experiences speaking in public. You probably do it very well, so just you know share what you do, how you make yourself feel comfortable or how you prepare yourself when you have to do a presentation for instance and I am sure you will rock it!

This is so kind of you. 

I hope there’s a positive outcome to your applications!! ❤️

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

Flying is so stressful in general. And then flying to a visitation weekend seems to be even more stressful. AND THEN one of the flights to the visitation weekend getting cancelled less than two days before you go and then trying to figure out what flights work now is massively more stressful! Ahhhhhh!

[Halek]

My advisor just gave me a mock qualifying exam during lab meeting. I blanked on a concept that she helped bring from animal behavior to anthropology. She's on the panel that does my actual oral portion of the exam. 

I know that the way qualifying is structure is to just keep poking until they find something you don't know, and I still home a month to study, but I just feel really embarrassed and exhausted. I know I need to study more but now I have a headache from the whole thing.  

[Adelaide9216]

My abstracts have been accepted to the two conferences I have applied for. The thing is that I will probably have funding to attend one...

[Jenny01]

I have not heard back from a program I interviewed for, which I was really excited about. I was told I was a top candidate and would hear back by now. The fact that I have not heard back and they know I am considering other offers has made me lose hope. I sort of wish they had not interviewed me at all so I would not have gotten my hopes up. It is such a competitive program and I felt like I was so close. It is hard but hey it is Friday I can drink my feelings without having to worry about being up early tomorrow. 

[Anxiously Hopeful]

Had an interview with a professor at 2:30 AM (I am an international student). I was already a bit drowsy and on top of that, the POI started suggesting other options for me like applying to other universities and the lack of funding he has. WHY THE HELL DID HE SCHEDULE THE INTERVIEW WHEN HE DID NOT HAVE THE FUNDING?? TO MAKE MY CHRONIC ANXIETY EVEN WORSE?

Okay, maybe that was an overreaction. Maybe I was not a strong candidate. I should just move on. 

[sgaw10]

March makes me nervous. I hope all of the universities ghosting me will at least send some rejections so that I can have some closure. Still anxiously crossing fingers to get off the Rice waitlist...

[crackademik]

I had an interview at a school over a month ago and heard nothing. Note the person who interviewed me said I would hear within a week what the decision would be. I emailed them two weeks ago asking what was going on, and they told me they didn’t know and to just wait. This morning I called the department asking what was going on. A very nice secretary (she actually remembered me) told me that she would talk to the director and get them to send me an email today with my decision. She made it seem that this person would be sending me a casual update shortly. I still have not hear anything and I’m about to scream. How can a program be so unprofessional? 

Edited March 6, 2019 by crackademik

[jmaginary]

Got a notice from the post office that OSU sent me a letter.  Can't tell from the attached picture if it's a "fat" or "thin" envelope.  Mail won't be here for another few hours.  My heart... My heart...

[jmaginary]

25 minutes ago, jmaginary said:

Got a notice from the post office that OSU sent me a letter.  Can't tell from the attached picture if it's a "fat" or "thin" envelope.  Mail won't be here for another few hours.  My heart... My heart...

After a bit of sleuthing, it's most likely a reimbursement check... I just want an answer!  Don't lead me on OSU!

[perpetualalligator]

It makes me so mad that schools take so long to send their results, especially rejections. I find it so inconsiderate that once rejected it's like schools don't even feel like people are important or that they deserve to know sooner rather than later. If they know who they are admitting and/or placing on the waitlist just let the others know, it really doesn't take long to write a generic rejection later. I have yet to officially hear from two schools, and even though I am 90% sure that I am going to be rejected (people have already posted acceptances/waitlists/interviews on the results page and I have not received anything), I just want to receive official confirmation and finish with this hellish application period. It's just so frustrating.

[mntfr]

Currently doing a masters and I just wanted to kill my advisor about an hour ago, I've been doing my project with him for almost 2 years and today not only did he add more things to it but he complained that I wasn't fast enough, originally I proposed him a project and he rejected it because he had one already in the works and I (horriblle mistake now I realize) agreed to work on it, he has done multiple changes to the original scope of the project and sometimes he even tries to guilt trip me into working harder by saying that the university is really looking forward to this project, but he seems to forget that I also talk to most people in the university and I know that everyone but him considers that I already done enough for my degree, I am venting out now because not only am I supposed to graduate in June and he changed today the scope of the project again but he told me this wonderful quote

"I don't need grad students I do it as a favor to you, you are not the ones helping me"

I honestly don't think that this applies to my case when he has been depending on reports of this project like twice a month.

Also I don't think is fair to complain about progress when you change the scope every month

I just really wanted to scream to something.

Edited March 14, 2019 by mntfr
venting

[bibliophile222]

I didn't get the summer placement I wanted. I thought the interview went alright, but I'm pretty sure the two other girls in my cohort have more relevant experience than me. Now I'm crossing my fingers that our placement coordinator gives me my second-choice placement as a consolation prize without having to compete for it!

[sgaw10]

Must stop.... thinking about getting off waitlist......  hopefully all of my essays for finals week will distract me a little bit.

Edited March 17, 2019 by sgaw10

[dftba95]

I was working on my undergrad thesis for a year and half (designing a communications skill-building workshop and then implementing it) and then ethics took forever to come through. It’s my fault because I was supposed to submit ethics (to study the effectiveness of the program) in November but ended up hospitalized for emergency gallbladder surgery. The recovery had complications and long story short - I didn’t submit my ethics application until December. Heard back in February and needed substantial revisions so I didn’t get clearance until early March. When I contacted the non-profit I’m collaborating with about beginning my research they said they wouldn’t know about funding for the next cycle until April. My thesis is due on March 25th and I had to start from scratch last week (thankfully my thesis advisor has data from another project that she’s letting me use, but I have to do everything again from my lit review to my discussion and analysis). I’m exhausted and stressed, my teammates for a group project were so useless I ended up doing the entire thing (they couldn’t even be bothered to add their student numbers to the google doc). I had a root canal in August and after 7 months of ongoing pain, filling and refilling, my endo suspects my tooth may be fractured and may need to be removed (goodbye to the 500$ I had to spend after copay). I’ve always been good with money but my SO needed to take time off from work (she has bp1 and was experiencing a mixed episode) and her company had shit short-term disability (I.e no short term disability) so we racked up a bunch of debt. I’m glad she found a new job with better sick benefits but it’s going to take some time to tackle our mountain of collective debt. During this time we also ate through all of our savings, including the money we had started putting aside for our engagement rings. I’m sad that our engagement has been put on hold on top of everything else ? 

 

Feels good to write it all out *sigh*

[Adelaide9216]

I had a research assistantship meeting today. I thought it was tomorrow. My supervisor emailed me really surprised because I missed it. I'll do my presentation as planned, but tomorrow.  I feel bad but I guess these things happen

[ResilientDreams]

I have to stand in front of a poster and talk about my honors thesis for three hours tomorrow and I'm kind of nervous about it. 

[historygeek]

My senioritis is THROUGH THE ROOF. I have so much to do that I'm just... checked out. I'm also trying to apartment hunt and that's just awful. 

[PokePsych]

I have the worst cold.. meh