Favorite Rejection Quotes from the Results Page

[Teaching Faculty Wannabe]

Well, this was a massacre and not just a stab in the heart towards me....

Edited February 6, 2019 by Moods

[brightorangesocks]

From UMass Lowell, Physics:

"Upon inquiry and after an interview-- unofficially "waitlisted"... I expect a swift and absolute rejection will follow this great dishonor and shame my family. I must have shown more than ten percent of my true power this time, and startled them... Senpai, forgive meeee! ((performs hara-kiri))"

[magnetite]

2 hours ago, sociological_introvert said:

Me too...me too.

I'll take all three

[LOiseauRouge]

[PsychWannabee]

University Of Mars

Clinical Psychology, PhD (F19)

Rejected via E-mail on 6 Feb 2019 ♦

U

6 Feb 2019

report spam "We have received an unprecedented number of exceptionally qualified applicants this year from across the Cosmos, including many from a hitherto undiscovered parallel dimension. Accordingly, we regrettably were forced to deny admission to many of Earth's mightiest applicants."

Whoever posted this: I would like to be your friend. Thanks.

[magnetite]

3 minutes ago, PsychWannabee said:

University Of Mars

Clinical Psychology, PhD (F19)

Rejected via E-mail on 6 Feb 2019 ♦

U

6 Feb 2019

report spam "We have received an unprecedented number of exceptionally qualified applicants this year from across the Cosmos, including many from a hitherto undiscovered parallel dimension. Accordingly, we regrettably were forced to deny admission to many of Earth's mightiest applicants."

Whoever posted this: I would like to be your friend. Thanks.

That application scored a 7.0 on the writing section of the GRE, too. That's just bad luck.

There's also a follow-up post, asking for their planet of interest! 

[Ternwild]

1 hour ago, brightorangesocks said:

From UMass Lowell, Physics:

"Upon inquiry and after an interview-- unofficially "waitlisted"... I expect a swift and absolute rejection will follow this great dishonor and shame my family. I must have shown more than ten percent of my true power this time, and startled them... Senpai, forgive meeee! ((performs hara-kiri))"

Holy shit.  I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume the reason is their GPA.  I'm pretty sure I have an idea of what they were doing instead of studying...

[lovekilledinos]

This one made me laugh. 

[sociological_introvert]

9 hours ago, lovekilledinos said:

This one made me laugh. 

If this person really is applying for creative writing, they've found their calling. They'll go far

[Nothingtown]

At least this person is handling their rejection with a sense of humor. Too real.

[Mickey26]

Aw man, I feel this

[magnetite]

When you didn't get ghosted but kind of wish you did.

[fortsibut]

8 hours ago, Mickey26 said:

Aw man, I feel this

Ha, that was me.  You gotta laugh the rejections off, right?  Gotta say though, if Cornell shoots me down too I'll be all out of jokes.

[CancerBiology]

I will sacrifice a goat if you want me to HAHAHAHA whoever you are, can we be friends

University Of Chicago

Physics, PhD (F19)

Rejected via E-mail on 7 Feb 2019 ♦

U

8 Feb 2019

Applied for both astrophysics and physics. Fingers crossed I get astro? UChicago I will sacrifice a goat if you want me to.

Edited February 8, 2019 by CancerBiology

[CancerBiology]

University Of Pittsburgh

English, PhD (F19)

Rejected via E-mail on 8 Feb 2019 ♦

I

8 Feb 2019

report spam I was disappointed till I saw the bottle of red wine next to me. Whats in academia? I have a very established career as an alcoholic anyway

[hgtvdeathdrive]

lmao love y'all, glad i have company 

 

 

Edited February 8, 2019 by hgtvdeathdrive

[havemybloodchild]

On 2/6/2019 at 7:53 PM, lovekilledinos said:

This one made me laugh. 

This is perfection!!!!!

[LOiseauRouge]

[magnetite]

27 minutes ago, LOiseauRouge said:

Wonder what the devil's phone number is. 

[virusologii]

On 2/7/2019 at 4:42 PM, ringoandme said:

At least this person is handling their rejection with a sense of humor. Too real.

Oh jeez ?

[jillcicle]

University Of Californa, Los Angeles (UCLA)

Sociology, PhD (F19)

Rejected via Website on 9 Feb 2019 ♦

A

9 Feb 2019

report spam Nothing like waking up to a rejection from your dream school right before getting your wisdom teeth out. Bring me all the PaAAaiiiNnN.

 

Whoever did this I would like you to know I was shaking from opening my own UCLA rejection (that's how my body is coping with this, apparently, no tears but lots of shaking ?) and I saw this and burst into guffaws. Had to tell my mom I got another rejection so I could explain what was funny but the laugh was worth it. 

[jmillar]

[historygeek]

Same?

[Ternwild]

[havemybloodchild]

University Of Michigan

English, PhD (F19)

Rejected via E-mail on 13 Feb 2019

I

13 Feb 2019

report spam GPA is from MA. Next in the seminal series of coping with rejection: cry in the shower, gain 5 pounds, have an icecream tummy, talk to oneself in the mirror, and then go back into the dark abyss of applying again.