*I is stressed* venting thread for Fall 2020 Applicants

[TooPsyched]

4 hours ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

I’m really frustrated with how an interview turned out and just want to vent. I’m not too perturbed because I didn’t really want to go there after all this, but it’s been a horrible experience. 
 

This program offered me the interview less than two weeks before the date, which made the flight obscenely expensive. Fine. They said the reimburse, but—ready?—only if you get into the program and accept. I’d rather they just didn’t offer reimbursement at that point. 
 

The interview itself was a bust and I didn’t understand why the POI invited me. They were obviously more interested in another applicant (which, hey, good for them!! Honestly and sincerely), blew me off, weren’t interested in anything I had to say, and legitimately ignored me at points. I left feeling pretty frustrated, but sent a thank you email and let it go. 
 

 

Everyone else I knew who interviewed heard within a week or two whether it was an acceptance/rejection/waitlist. I heard nothing and sort of decided not to care. 
 

now, a month later, I get a form letter rejection that makes it sound like I didn’t even interview. Everyone else got a personal email or call. 
 

I know I’m being whiny. I know I’m not entitled to anything, and it’s fine—I will just move on to the next thing. But it left me with a really bad taste in my mouth and a not so favorable impression of the program, and I just needed to vent. 

Hey at least you can see what you do not want in a program. Just imagine spending five years under that kind of guidance. It is a bummer about the money though. Hopefully you get into one of the other schools you applied under!

[psychpsychpsych]

2 hours ago, Shutterbug21 said:

Yessss... I feel this 100%. Had an interview 1/31 and this has been the most painfully slow week ever. Really having trouble focusing this week!

exactly!! its so hard to focus, how have you been coping?

[Chekashi_69]

7 hours ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

I’m really frustrated with how an interview turned out and just want to vent. I’m not too perturbed because I didn’t really want to go there after all this, but it’s been a horrible experience. 
 

This program offered me the interview less than two weeks before the date, which made the flight obscenely expensive. Fine. They said the reimburse, but—ready?—only if you get into the program and accept. I’d rather they just didn’t offer reimbursement at that point. 
 

The interview itself was a bust and I didn’t understand why the POI invited me. They were obviously more interested in another applicant (which, hey, good for them!! Honestly and sincerely), blew me off, weren’t interested in anything I had to say, and legitimately ignored me at points. I left feeling pretty frustrated, but sent a thank you email and let it go. 
 

 

Everyone else I knew who interviewed heard within a week or two whether it was an acceptance/rejection/waitlist. I heard nothing and sort of decided not to care. 
 

now, a month later, I get a form letter rejection that makes it sound like I didn’t even interview. Everyone else got a personal email or call. 
 

I know I’m being whiny. I know I’m not entitled to anything, and it’s fine—I will just move on to the next thing. But it left me with a really bad taste in my mouth and a not so favorable impression of the program, and I just needed to vent. 

I am so sorry that you had that experience! We all know how expensive this process is and to actively spend more money on a school that makes it clear they want another applicant is frustrating. I hope your other interviews go better! 

[yeeboi]

Officially ended this application season with only one interview. I'm proud of myself for getting one, but I'm also really nervous that I don't have anything to fall back on if this doesn't work out. Good news is that this was one of my top 3 schools. Bittersweet news is that I got waitlisted for interviews on my other two top slots. It gives me confidence if I have to apply next year--I know I have a good vision for where I belong. It also sucks, because I feel like I'm barely missing the mark. 

[sparrow123]

8 minutes ago, yeeboi said:

Officially ended this application season with only one interview. I'm proud of myself for getting one, but I'm also really nervous that I don't have anything to fall back on if this doesn't work out. Good news is that this was one of my top 3 schools. Bittersweet news is that I got waitlisted for interviews on my other two top slots. It gives me confidence if I have to apply next year--I know I have a good vision for where I belong. It also sucks, because I feel like I'm barely missing the mark. 

I'm in the same boat as you!!! I want this one to work out so badly but there's so much pressure because it's the only one... 

[yeeboi]

1 minute ago, sparrow123 said:

I'm in the same boat as you!!! I want this one to work out so badly but there's so much pressure because it's the only one... 

Right? I'm trying to be optimistic, but I'm also terrified that they're going to ask me a question that I haven't anticipated or something wild will happen and just ruin everything. I really hope everything works out for the both of us. At the very, very least this interview will be a learning opportunity for us and will give us a lot of insight for next application season.

[Psych1st]

53 minutes ago, yeeboi said:

Officially ended this application season with only one interview. I'm proud of myself for getting one, but I'm also really nervous that I don't have anything to fall back on if this doesn't work out. Good news is that this was one of my top 3 schools. Bittersweet news is that I got waitlisted for interviews on my other two top slots. It gives me confidence if I have to apply next year--I know I have a good vision for where I belong. It also sucks, because I feel like I'm barely missing the mark. 

Same! My interview was two weeks ago and now I'm just so scared to get any news but the longer I don't hear back the worse it gets...

[PsychPhdBound]

5 hours ago, andhowdoesthatmakeyoufeel said:

Thank you, you’re sweet. It makes me feel better that I’m not just overreacting. It was an easy $600 and I’m still pretty grouchy about it—-if you’re that disinterested in me, just don’t invite me!

Yeah, this is bananas

[2ndTimeHopeful]

2 hours ago, yeeboi said:

Officially ended this application season with only one interview. I'm proud of myself for getting one, but I'm also really nervous that I don't have anything to fall back on if this doesn't work out. Good news is that this was one of my top 3 schools. Bittersweet news is that I got waitlisted for interviews on my other two top slots. It gives me confidence if I have to apply next year--I know I have a good vision for where I belong. It also sucks, because I feel like I'm barely missing the mark. 

How do you know if you’ve been waitlisted for an interview? I applied to 17 schools & received 3 interview invitations, 2 rejections & one soft rejection. That leaves 11 schools (most have already had their interview but some haven’t) with silence. 

[yeeboi]

39 minutes ago, 2ndTimeHopeful said:

How do you know if you’ve been waitlisted for an interview? I applied to 17 schools & received 3 interview invitations, 2 rejections & one soft rejection. That leaves 11 schools (most have already had their interview but some haven’t) with silence. 

I had previous correspondence with my POI for one of the schools and after not hearing back when others seemed to get invites she informed me about the waitlist. I decided to call the other school and they informed me I was on an alternate list. So for both scenarios, it didn’t seem like they were planning on informing me and I only found out after probing lol

[Shutterbug21]

5 hours ago, psychpsychpsych said:

exactly!! its so hard to focus, how have you been coping?

Well, honestly not every well lol, but I'm just trying to keep myself busy. I'm getting a lot knocked off my to-do list at work and around the house, but I'm definitely checking my email every few minutes. I just keep reminding myself that what is meant to be will be. If it doesn't work out, I have a backup plan. Definitely a taxing time, but hang in there!

[justacigar]

4 hours ago, sparrow123 said:

I'm in the same boat as you!!! I want this one to work out so badly but there's so much pressure because it's the only one... 

I only had one interview as well, and the only advice I can give is to not feel desperate. I made a point of convincing myself it was okay if it wasn't a good fit for them or for me. The last thing you'd want to do is force a program to fit because it's your only option right now instead of objectively deciding if it's the right choice. It was so freeing to not feel like the one interview I had needed to work out. I think it went 10x better becuase of that attitude, honestly. 

[Psychological Yam]

9 hours ago, ctn said:

Quickly learning that waiting to hear back post interview is 10x harder than waiting to hear back about interviews

yep !!! was told early last week that i was nominated for a fellowship and approved by the department. but now they have to get it approved by the university and that's going to take 3-4 weeks, so i won't hear until early march... the wait will kill me!

[webbz_world93]

So, someone posted an acceptance for my top program (phone call from director) today. Am I out of the running for this school?

[PumaDuty]

19 hours ago, webbz_world93 said:

So, someone posted an acceptance for my top program (phone call from director) today. Am I out of the running for this school?

Your chances probably depend on if people accept the offers and if/where you stand on the waiting list. (That's assuming all offers went out). Good luck! This process can be so frustrating.

[Psych1st]

And now it's the weekend again and the wait continues on to next week

[Psychedbeyondrepair]

36 minutes ago, Psych1st said:

And now it's the weekend again and the wait continues on to next week

The silence is deafening !!! Hope you all have something fun and distracting lined up for the weekend! 

[psychpsychpsych]

There have been several posts here within the last few days about the wait...and it is just so terrible. We have an initial long wait to hear back from schools for an interview and then once (if) we hear back and have our interview, its another long wait. This whole week I've been telling myself to get things done that need to get done, but when I start, my mind just jumps right back to PhD. It's so hard to stay focused to do the things that need to get done. You try to explain to your family/friends why you're stressed, but it's hard to express why this is terrifying, because everything is hanging in the balance. I'm struggling with trying to keep busy and focused...but it's been helpful to know that I'm not the only one who can't seem to not think about PhD. I hope you guys are doing okay and try not to get in a cycle of thinking about PhD, try to stay positive everybody!

[PsyZei]

42 minutes ago, psychpsychpsych said:

 You try to explain to your family/friends why you're stressed, but it's hard to express why this is terrifying, because everything is hanging in the balance.

This! I got into one of my top three schools last week and I just interviewed with another today and will interview with the last of the three on Monday. I am just beyond stressed by it (and it doesn't help that one of my kids has the flu this week). I was talking to my spouse about everything and made a joke about how "it's not like I'm trying to decide our whole future or anything" and we were both just like... "oh." The weight of this application process can feel crushing at times. Deep breaths!

[orchidaceae]

Is it normal for waitlists to go out before acceptances..? Saw someone post on results they are waitlisted and I have yet to hear back  Interview was almost 2 weeks ago (I received an email that recommendations are being finalized in the upcoming weeks but idk what that really means at this point)..

[PsyZei]

8 minutes ago, orchidaceae said:

Is it normal for waitlists to go out before acceptances..? Saw someone post on results they are waitlisted and I have yet to hear back  Interview was almost 2 weeks ago (I received an email that recommendations are being finalized in the upcoming weeks but idk what that really means at this point)..

I don't know what the situation is here, but I know that sometimes there are pre-interview waitlists. When I applied to PhD programs a couple years (while also applying to master programs) I was waitlisted this way to one of my schools. I don't know if that the case here, though, so I really don't know what that means either- sorry, can't help more.

[Psychedbeyondrepair]

1 hour ago, psychpsychpsych said:

There have been several posts here within the last few days about the wait...and it is just so terrible. We have an initial long wait to hear back from schools for an interview and then once (if) we hear back and have our interview, its another long wait. This whole week I've been telling myself to get things done that need to get done, but when I start, my mind just jumps right back to PhD. It's so hard to stay focused to do the things that need to get done. You try to explain to your family/friends why you're stressed, but it's hard to express why this is terrifying, because everything is hanging in the balance. I'm struggling with trying to keep busy and focused...but it's been helpful to know that I'm not the only one who can't seem to not think about PhD. I hope you guys are doing okay and try not to get in a cycle of thinking about PhD, try to stay positive everybody!

i specifically felt “my mind just jumps right back to phd.”  i feel myself refreshing these pages far too often!

[orchidaceae]

20 minutes ago, PsyZei said:

I don't know what the situation is here, but I know that sometimes there are pre-interview waitlists. When I applied to PhD programs a couple years (while also applying to master programs) I was waitlisted this way to one of my schools. I don't know if that the case here, though, so I really don't know what that means either- sorry, can't help more.

Gotcha. I guess it's just department, PI-specific but I have knots in my stomach know and I'm just gonna try to wait it out. Thank you for explaining & your reply, I really appreciate it

[statementblanket]

On 2/1/2020 at 7:11 AM, Clinapp2017 said:

FWIW - I think these questions that are behavioral in nature are really weird/inappropriate in most settings, but depending on your clinical/research interests it might be a good test. I’m not sure if you’re working with people with severe mental illness or personality disorders, but from my experience with these populations it’s imperative to keep your cool even when a patient is really pushing your buttons. Not that I think what the PI said was necessarily appropriate, but in this context it could be worthwhile in my opinion to see how someone handles a very confrontational event. 
 

edit: Also, it sounds like you did the best you could, which is good, and the other interviews went well, which is all we can hope for in this really stressful process!

This was honestly the first thing I thought-- what if it was just a stress test? Not sure if this is common since I haven't started interviewing yet, but it seems like the ability to keep one's cool for clinical anything is pretty crucial. 

[noboby]

Just got my first rejection this morning. I applied 24 schools and only got 1 interview. Only 7 of them haven't send out interview yet. While writing those down, I know that may be I will not be able to get into any school this year. I can still remember the recruiting season in 2018. Everyone were sharing the interview they got, and I wake up with a email saying "Thank you for your interest, but we are sorry that..." every day. I ended up with getting no job in 2018. It was really a nightmare for me.

May be the next few week will be the same. May be I ended up with having a debt over $3,000, spending all these time and effort but got no offer. But this time I do not feel bad about this. Not getting into any program isn't a really bad thing. I will have more time to explore what is academic, finish reading my list and journal in my home, gain more experience in industry, and may be even prepare my own paper, before entering a better program. 

What make me feel bad, is a regret for my family, my friends and my professors. I know how lucky I am to have them support me. They helped me collect information about schools and sometimes keep discussing with me on this until 1 am in the morning (as December was busy season for my current job, I work until 9-10 pm). My professors are nice: submitted all the recommandation letter really quickly (1-2days after sending email request) and are always saying, "best wishes to your application!". I am thankful for all they have done for me. Getting a bad result makes me feel that I wasted their time and let them down. I don't know how to share this news to my professors, although I do really want to talk to them and see want can I do to improve myself in the future. 

Feel free to give any advice about how to communicate the result with my family, my friends and my professors. 

Edited February 8, 2020 by noboby
wording error