*I is stressed* venting thread for Fall 2020 Applicants

[psychologygeek]

On 1/15/2020 at 11:30 AM, justacigar said:

My optimism is in seriously short supply. I found out I was waitlisted by a program this morning (which is better than a straight rejection) and I just feel like I keep barely missing the cut. It's very disheartening and I want to hibernate until this process is over. I want it bad enough to apply again if needed, but holy crap I totally don't feel like I have the energy or willpower to apply again. Blah. 

I also cannot stand uncertainty and this process is all uncertainty! Not being able to plan my future is a struggle for me.

I'm in this boat too. I need to take my own advice, but keep your head up! I know only getting one interview invite sucks, but its better than none 

[justacigar]

6 minutes ago, psychologygeek said:

I'm in this boat too. I need to take my own advice, but keep your head up! I know only getting one interview invite sucks, but its better than none 

LOL taking my own advice would be fantastic right now! I agree, it could be worse. It could allllways be worse! 

[webbz_world93]

This process sucks.

 

That is all. 

[psychologygeek]

1 minute ago, justacigar said:

LOL taking my own advice would be fantastic right now! I agree, it could be worse. It could allllways be worse! 

I have assumed rejection from all of the schools but the one i received an interview from and 2 more. However, I saw someone post for Wayne State on the results page, so its looking like the school I got an interview for...and one more lol. This is a very disheartening process and I honestly feel like a medical school applicant. If only I was better at taking my own advice

[Aghhhhh]

1st time applicant here in the same boat--just one interview! It's stressful knowing that everything pretty much rides on this one school's decision, but I keep having to tell myself that they invited me because they DO want me, and this interview is really just a personality check.

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol. I'm mortified just thinking about having to go back to my letter writers in April to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere and ask them to submit their letters again in December ?

[Vanilla Bean]

1 hour ago, Aghhhhh said:

1st time applicant here in the same boat--just one interview! It's stressful knowing that everything pretty much rides on this one school's decision, but I keep having to tell myself that they invited me because they DO want me, and this interview is really just a personality check.

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol. I'm mortified just thinking about having to go back to my letter writers in April to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere and ask them to submit their letters again in December ?

It's a very competitive process! Don't be embarrassed. I'm sure they've had other students that they had to write letters of recommendation for more than once. It's not uncommon to have to go through more than one round. 

[Vanilla Bean]

20 hours ago, hermm said:

Hey all I was hoping for some advice. I got an interview offer from my top choice POI  back in December, but today they emailed me to say that they had officially accepted a job at another institution so they would no longer (obviously) be taking students. They told me I was still welcome to interview with someone else at the program, but I'm wondering if this is worth it. To be honest, I really didn't feel like my research background fit well with any of the other labs so I feel a bit pessimistic about my admission chances- given that I wouldn't be a student any of these professors had even considered.

Has anyone had this happen to them? Should I go anyway? Let the interview invite go? Give up on the process entirely because I feel defeated and weary?

Wow. This happens to people!? ? Seems a bit unfair of them to still interview you knowing that they were applying to jobs elsewhere.. I'm so sorry this happened! 

If there's no other faculty you'd want to work with at that program, I would just let the interview invite go. 

[psychologygeek]

1 hour ago, Aghhhhh said:

1st time applicant here in the same boat--just one interview! It's stressful knowing that everything pretty much rides on this one school's decision, but I keep having to tell myself that they invited me because they DO want me, and this interview is really just a personality check.

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol. I'm mortified just thinking about having to go back to my letter writers in April to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere and ask them to submit their letters again in December ?

YES TO THIS! My research mentor was *so* confident that I would get at 2-3 interviews. Now it's looking like just one. The pressure is on as this is my top pick and I get the feeling it is going to me by *only* interview, lol. Looking at it as a personality check is a good mindset. I keep having to remind myself that they wanted me for a reason and I'm not an imposter, lol

If anyone in this thread has advice on what questions are normally asked so I can prepare, that would be much appreciated. Now I need to make extra sure that I nail the interviewQ

[yeeboi]

1 hour ago, Aghhhhh said:

1st time applicant here in the same boat--just one interview! It's stressful knowing that everything pretty much rides on this one school's decision, but I keep having to tell myself that they invited me because they DO want me, and this interview is really just a personality check.

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol. I'm mortified just thinking about having to go back to my letter writers in April to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere and ask them to submit their letters again in December ?

I'm on the exact same boat. I'm going in to talk with my mentor next week to think concretely about a Plan B since I've been getting so many rejections--something I knew I might have to do, but didn't really consider it. Similarly, I've gotten only one interview so far. As disheartening as it is, maybe we can think of it this way: we're able to spend all of our time focusing on nailing this one interview (researching our PI's, coming up with great questions for why we're interested in this specific program, etc.). If this one school is my only avenue to grad school this year, I'm going to spend the next few weeks really understanding and falling in love with their program so that the interview can be as genuine and successful as it can be.

[webbz_world93]

Me, trying to remind myself that I’m not complete trash after dealing with this stress the last few weeks: 

[clinicalpsych.2022]

2 hours ago, Aghhhhh said:

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol.

I FEEL THIS. Literally all my mentors and psych friends were like, "Obviously you're going to get in this year, don't be dumb" and then I started believing them and now I'm like........................ oh

[mmmmcoffee]

2 hours ago, Aghhhhh said:

1st time applicant here in the same boat--just one interview! It's stressful knowing that everything pretty much rides on this one school's decision, but I keep having to tell myself that they invited me because they DO want me, and this interview is really just a personality check.

I think what is most embarrassing, for me, is having all of my mentors & friends tell me that I was going to get so many interviews...and then this happens lol. I'm mortified just thinking about having to go back to my letter writers in April to tell them that I didn't get in anywhere and ask them to submit their letters again in December ?

oh my god sameeeee. i'm extremely happy with my invite right now since it's my top choice, but it realllllly puts the pressure on! I'm trying to distract myself from the official rejections I'll probably get in the next couple weeks by over-preparing for visiting day ... if anyone has any tips on how to absolutely nail it let me know lol

[Stressed&CoffeeObsessed]

Hi everyone! I just wanted to offer some encouragement during this super stressful, ridiculous process.

This is my third time applying for programs. The first time, fresh out of undergrad but feeling lucky, I applied to 5 PhD programs. Got waitlisted at one (which I'm confident was an accident) and was rejected from all the others. On a whim and literally while in my Social Psych class, I applied to a Clinical Psych Masters program and got in with a full assistantship! I figured I'd get more experience and try again.

Second time, during my Masters, I was feeling super confident and prepared and awesome with all this experience I'd gotten, so I applied to 11 places to cast a wide net and waited for the invites to come flooding in. Spoiler alert: they didn't. I got one interview and was promptly rejected. Oof.

This time, I'm a research coordinator at Cincinnati Children's Hospital with even more experience, and basically have to get in this time if I don't want to retake the GRE again (I DO NOT). I applied to 10 schools and, as of right now, have 4 interviews, 3 of which are at my top 3 choices. I'm still waiting to hear back from one more school, so at this point I'm feelin' straight up okay.

All of this isn't to say that I'm some expert or anything because I obviously don't have any offers yet and for all I know I could be in for round 4 ? but I just want to say this:  let's be honest, your timeline may not be what you imagined it to be. Mine definitely wasn't; I turned 26 yesterday and I thought I'd be almost done with my PhD by now. But that doesn't mean that what we want won't happen for us. It just may mean that the path to get there takes a few unexpected turns. Let's keep our heads up, maybe have an extra glass of wine, and try to be as kind and encouraging to ourselves as we are to each other. ☺️

 

Edit: This came out VERY cheesy, my b. Basically: even if it doesn't happen this time, that doesn't mean it won't next time. We're all smart, qualified, freaking cool people.

Edited January 17, 2020 by Stressed&CoffeeObsessed
Too cheesy

[happycola23]

I'm going crazy refreshing my email as well as all of the forums and results pages on here..Have yet to hear from a single school officially. Anyone else in the same boat? Making me quite nervous for this round ? 

[SocPsyPhDWannabe]

1 hour ago, happycola23 said:

I'm going crazy refreshing my email as well as all of the forums and results pages on here..Have yet to hear from a single school officially. Anyone else in the same boat? Making me quite nervous for this round ? 

Yep! Nothing official on my end either. Kind of assuming that there's a few that I absolutely didn't get into...but I'm holding out hope for a few of them too. I wish there websites weren't such trash and that they showed interview dates, deadlines, and accurate contact information. 

[sparrow123]

3 hours ago, happycola23 said:

I'm going crazy refreshing my email as well as all of the forums and results pages on here..Have yet to hear from a single school officially. Anyone else in the same boat? Making me quite nervous for this round ? 

Same boat here. I just feel sick thinking about it and yet it's all I think about.

[happycola23]

1 hour ago, SocPsyPhDWannabe said:

Yep! Nothing official on my end either. Kind of assuming that there's a few that I absolutely didn't get into...but I'm holding out hope for a few of them too. I wish there websites weren't such trash and that they showed interview dates, deadlines, and accurate contact information. 

 

36 minutes ago, sparrow123 said:

Same boat here. I just feel sick thinking about it and yet it's all I think about.

As hard as this all is, we got this! Whether we get in this first round or have to go through a second. Let's keep our heads up!

[clinicalpsych.2022]

I don't think my HPA-axis will recover from this process for at least 6 months...

[justacigar]

I've gotta say, it's been a surreal experience watching all of my program prospects slowly die before me. Just got word of the last program I was waiting for, and it was a rejection. Trying to remind myself whatever will be, will be. I have one interview, I will do the absolute best I can, and if it's the right fit it will work out. All it takes is one interview and one acceptance!

[Coffee_and_Psychology96]

38 minutes ago, justacigar said:

I've gotta say, it's been a surreal experience watching all of my program prospects slowly die before me. Just got word of the last program I was waiting for, and it was a rejection. Trying to remind myself whatever will be, will be. I have one interview, I will do the absolute best I can, and if it's the right fit it will work out. All it takes is one interview and one acceptance!

Lol I feel this. I have one Ph.D. interview too and I'm assuming the rest will be rejections. I have some faith in getting into a Master's program if I don't get into this Ph.D. program but I'd definitely rather go straight to the doctorate. I'm sure everything will work out in the end! But wow, it's crazy how painfully slow this process is. 

[Psych1st]

Hey I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for all of you and how encouraging this little community can be. I'll be thinking of all of you for the next several weeks as we make it through this. Thanks for making me feel less alone

[cupidcello]

So, erm--hi.  This long weekend we have here (I think this just applies to the US?? We have a holiday on Monday.)... 

Anyway: Be sure to take a deep breath here and there to release any build-up of anxiety/ies.  *Enjoy your weekend!*  I'll try to do the same. :3

[justacigar]

11 hours ago, Psych1st said:

Hey I just wanted to say that I'm grateful for all of you and how encouraging this little community can be. I'll be thinking of all of you for the next several weeks as we make it through this. Thanks for making me feel less alone

It does feel like all these internet friends understand me more than anyone else does these days! Psychology PhD applications are such a specific experience, having camaraderie through the stress has been amazing. I'm also grateful I can turn to this forum whenever I am doubting or pissed off or struggling to stay positive. Y'all the real MVPs! 

[2ndTimeHopeful]

Thank you. People don’t understand & say things like “this is it right” or you’re not gonna try again are you?” They don’t understand that it’s a specific mentor that has to end up accepting a student & has to choose you when they may have already decided who they’re taking next etc. also each cycle has different opportunities. 

[PsychPhdBound]

22 hours ago, 2ndTimeHopeful said:

Thank you. People don’t understand & say things like “this is it right” or you’re not gonna try again are you?” They don’t understand that it’s a specific mentor that has to end up accepting a student & has to choose you when they may have already decided who they’re taking next etc. also each cycle has different opportunities. 

Agreed!! I'm so grateful for these forums! No one else in my life really understands what this process is like. They are all trying to be supportive but from the start they've all been "of course you'll get in, you're so smart" and I've had to explain 1,000 times, it's not about smart, most serious applicants are smart, it's about SOOOOO much more and it doesn't make much sense. For example, I've been invited to interview at a "Top 5" program, but didn't hear a word from my personal top choice which is toward the bottom of the "Top 20". Also, I'm interviewing at a "lower ranked" program, I think it's like #60/70, and I'm actually MORE excited about it than the #2 school, so who the heck knows! ?