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Venting Thread- Vent about anything.


MoJingly

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11 hours ago, Adelaide9216 said:

Oh ok. But you can definetly explain why it's the case? I don't think you're the first one to whom this happens!

Yeah I can and my advisors told me it's okay, but I still feel kind of bummed out haha.

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I am sick of being patient all the time. I have to be patient for hearing back from the universities, I have to be patient in my relationship, I have to patient to see how life unfolds......... At this point, it is driving me nuts. I am just tired of holding back my thoughts for so long and controlling my impulsiveness just to take pride in the fact that I am a mature adult with a lot of patience.

I AM STILL A KID AND I NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!!

 

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I don't think I will be getting into any PhD program. I am not as good as I think I am. I am currently looking for jobs / possible online courses to help me with my future career. Will not be considering PhD anymore. 

 

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13 hours ago, PsychWannabee said:

With attending grad school looking actually possible for the fall, I have now begun freaking out and convincing myself I can't do a PhD program. I was so excited about my interviews, but now I'm simply terrified..

I've been invited to a interview/visit weekend and I'm also terrified, especially since I can't fully get a read on whether it's an interview weekend (i.e. me trying to impress them) or a recruitment weekend (i.e. them trying to impress me)

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17 hours ago, PsychWannabee said:

With attending grad school looking actually possible for the fall, I have now begun freaking out and convincing myself I can't do a PhD program. I was so excited about my interviews, but now I'm simply terrified..

I feel the same way. I have received a couple of emails from POIs at schools that usually do not interview and I don't know what they are supposed to mean. I feel excited because that means I actually have a chance but also the idea of having to choose between schools and actually talking to POIs is terrifying. What if I look better on paper? What if I mess up the interviews? Am I even ready for grad school? Will I make the right decision? I am trying to balance out my feelings but I can't seem to find a middle ground. I used to be trying to not get overly excited in case I didn't get accepted but at the same time I would be so disappointed if I didn't get into a PhD program. I am really scared about getting in too. I just have a knot in the pit of my stomach. ?

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Not even 24 hours later, I am back again. I waited to book a flight for some interviews just in case I was offered an interview to program X with the same interview date. I would have chosen program X over the invite I had (which I had not confirmed attendance for yet). Welp, I got rejected from program X, now have to book my flight, and of course the price went up by almost $100 in the past day. WHY DO I DO THIS TO MYSELF?!

Okay, rant over, and I will force myself not to post on this thread for a good while.

Edited by PsychWannabee
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Being "in between" two degrees during the summer (my master's and my phd) means I probably won't be able to get refunded if I want to attend conferences this summer because I won't be officially registered to an institution this summer. It sucks. 

Edited by Adelaide9216
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17 hours ago, StHoly said:

I don't think I will be getting into any PhD program. I am not as good as I think I am. I am currently looking for jobs / possible online courses to help me with my future career. Will not be considering PhD anymore. 

 

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this. I hope everything works out for the best.

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17 hours ago, StHoly said:

I don't think I will be getting into any PhD program. I am not as good as I think I am. I am currently looking for jobs / possible online courses to help me with my future career. Will not be considering PhD anymore. 

 

Dont lose hope yet!

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I missed my flight to my interview weekend last night because I went to the wrong airport ? they changed my flight to early this morning, and I won't miss much. I still feel terrible though and like I already blew the interview. Ugh. On my way to the CORRECT airport now though. This is my first and potentially only interview weekend, so I hope it goes well. I get to interview with faculty I never imagined I would meet in person, so that's exciting. I had a Skype interview with a different school last week and feel that was good practice.

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I am so anxious about the results that it is becoming frustrating. I cannot concentrate on anything and I know many people can relate to this and get more frustrated by the fact that nothing can be done about it. 

And to all the relatives and friends who have been concerned about me, I DON'T WANT TO F*****G MEDITATE!!!!

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I have my research project set up except for actually planting my seeds. I have 120 20-gallon nursery pots filled with soil inside two greenhouses that I built. It took over a week of hard physical work to get all that done, and mostly by myself. 

My committee approved my methods, which were detailed in my proposal and also discussed in several email threads, and authorized me to use my startup funds to buy the supplies and get things set up. Yesterday, all but one basically said they had no idea that I was using the type of soil I had purchased. Two suggested that I dump the pots and buy different soil. Another suggested that we just add another set of replicates with the different soil and expand the research to consider different soil types. Finally, my advisor suggested we test the soil first to see if it's actually a problem and then go from there. I'm going to be really, really aggravated if I have to dump all of that soil. It was hard enough when it was dry, but now it's wet.

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I'm in my senior spring of undergrad and one of the elective classes I'm taking is starting to get on my nerves a little. The professor is unclear about what she wants on assignments and I'm having a hard time motivating myself to do work for the class because I've been devoting so much time to finishing my thesis and preparing for interviews.

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Have an inkling that the next 1-2 weeks will be rejections across the board, unfortunately :( 

Also anxiously awaiting a decision from a school where I interviewed last weekend, and they said they would release decisions this past week or the upcoming week. I think it went super well, but I don't want to jinx it. I do want to be able to say I am definitely headed to graduate school, though.

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